Hmm when I was growing up sneakers with jeans were a no-no. Clearly that’s changed :). Also white pants were considered quite dorky, so I developed a strong “poison eye” for them, which I have only just finally broken free of! Hooray. There’s nothing so liberating as realizing you can enjoy wearing something you always avoided before.
For me personally, my own “rules” are that I don’t currently wear: plaid, tall boots, blazers, 3/4 sleeves, scoop necks. These items don’t seem to flatter me, and I always feel slightly uncomfortable in them.
I am fine with black with bright colours or pastels, I think it can look striking if done right, and sometimes mixed metals are ok too. It all depends on the styling!

Theodora, Yes to sneakers. I wanted to get away from them for a while but my injury forced me to rethink my choices. I now found that I enjoy some styles.

Jenn, I wonder if I will be able to go back to wearing long trousers.
LaPed, oh, the holiday colors - so true, can’t imagine wearing solid red with solid green, maybe in a pattern? Who I’m kidding, can’t imagine wearing it at all
phoebe, I apply 100% natural fiber rule to all my clothes with the exception of outwear and now, gear. Wearing technical fabrics is still making me uncomfortable but they perform better in some athletic activities.
Cardiff girl, thé high heel ship sailed for me, last time worn 5 years ago. I miss it sometimes.
Rachylou, LOL
jussie, I have to admit that jeans with sneakers is not my favorite combination and a few years ago I would avoid it. Since Covid, I wear mostly denim and had to make peace with it.


You, ladies, remind me about so many of my own rules that I now think how rigid I am. Didn’t realize it before.

Irina, I just never wore leggings, so it's hard for me to see them as a pants option. And there are so many pants options! I think it's also because I like a fair amount of structure in pants that I don't like leggings. I still see plenty of leggings worn as pants in my DC neighborhood.

I don’t now and can’t say I’ve ever followed “ rules “ per se. I have preferences for sure , but a rule has never dictated what I wear . The holiday colours thing is however one that just occurred to me reading it here : I will NEVER wear red/white/blue lest I be mistaken for an American ( sorry , no disrespect intended but ….) or red/ white for that matter as it seems too “ Canada Day “ or hockey - jersey-like . I believe with all “ rules” that’s it’s all in the execution .

Oooh... much like Helena, I'm not sure I have any rules any more, except "never say never."

But rules I used to follow (sometimes due to poison eye and sometimes just never having seriously thought about it) included many that others have mentioned already:

No white after labour day.
No sneakers with streetwear.
No dark neutrals worn together (e.g. ink with black or brown with black.)
No gym wear or gear of any kind worn as "regular" clothing.
No socks or hose with sandals.
No pattern mixing (ha!!!).
No inside layers longer than outside layers (i.e. the coat must be longer than the dress. Ha again!)
No Birkenstocks. (This was poison eye plus fit problems for my foot).
No "seasonally confused" outfits.
No micro-mini skirts or other extremely sexualized clothing.

Of these, the only ones I still follow to are the last three. But really, only the last is a hard rule for me. I would gladly consider some styles of Birkenstocks now, if they fit me well). As for "no seasonal confusion" -- I guess this still sticks in my mind, but what counts as seasonal confusion is quite different because I live in a different climate and I have seen the effects of that. So, for instance...here, it is possible to bare ankles while wearing a (light) puffer coat and not be ridiculous. Also possible to wear a hat with a lightweight jacket and not be truly seasonally confused.

I will say that a sort of unacknowledged rule might be -- no "must have" trend of the moment just for the sake of the "must have." It's sort of like my resistance to reading the latest best seller. Obviously, I do like playing with trends and happily embrace some. But if there is one "it" item in a season, I often resist it. Unless it is a complete slam dunk for my style or what I sense is a game changer. Do I contradict myself? I contain multitudes.

Have fun with fashion and style.

That's the only rule I don't want to break!

The rest - never say never ....

I don't really remember having rules in my head but these are a couple of strong personal aversions that flipped:
1. Pointy toe shoes. I even sort of remember when they went from a NO WAY to a YES all the time. Funnily DDs are in the NO WAY camp right now, I wonder if that will change.
2. Animal print. I had a very "Married with Children" sort of association. I don't wear much animal print, and it tends to be black and white like zebra or snake print, but I definitely appreciate it much more now.

An older rule I tend to keep even though it was never presented to me as a rule, and I do not treat it as such, is matching metals and colors. Basically my outfits are so "undone" that I like to lean into a few easy tricks for cohesion.
Fun and thought provoking thread Irina!

It does make it easier if we have a list of things we won't consider - eg loafers or birkenstocks etc...

It's really a fascinating time in fashion from a gender perspective right now - the boundaries are so much more blurred. There are some fascinating examples on the red carpet - Timothee Chalomet, Emma Corrin, Harry Styles to name just a few. Lots of broken rules and mostly looking fab (definitely having fun).

Maybe I don’t think of them as “rules,”more like things I know don’t flatter or feel “me” or whatever. Just a word choice I guess!


Personal Aversions as Jaime says.

Plenty of things I like the look of that don’t work on me.
And trying to have a bit of discipline in not settling for easy formulas.


LJP, interesting. Maybe the execution can help, perhaps but not to everything on my, apparently, very long list of rules. I can’t imagine leaving my house wearing leggings, sorry.
I understand Angie’s point of view but it not so for me.

Jaime, I can only intentionally mix metals. My main metal for years used to be white gold. But I found a bag that I loved that came with the gold hardware. I added yellow gold to my white to make it into a cohesive look.
Sal, I find it’s easier for me to bend the gender rules. If I could, I would happily wear men’s clothes. The aesthetic rules are much harder.
Sloper, I should embroider “Do not settled on easy formulas” and hang it next to my closet.

Pre-YLF, it never would have occurred to me to mix patterns; now I do it frequently but in a tame neutral way.

Also, without Angie it never would have occurred to me to layer stockings. I have a number of patterned fishnets like the Finds below as well as beige hose from the days I wore them to work decades ago. None are control top. Layering the beige sheers under the black patterns should extend their season.

I grew up with the rule to change out of my school/work clothes into my play clothes as soon as I got home. Now I keep them on and wear an apron virtually all the time. I may change shoes if comfort demands.

Growing up, I was always directed to wear things that would look good on petite, delicate women, because I am short. BUT for some reason all that stuff looks so bad on me and it took me ages to figure that out! I am no Audrey Hepburn— I may be short but I’m not really “petite,” rather “solid boned” instead. So I’ve finally realized it’s a big NO to boatneck tops, delicate shoes, thin and small jewelry . And a big YES to chunkier, angular things instead.

NOoYour "rulers" are all the things I break all the time. Right now it is yes to chunkier jewelry and other pieces knowing that fashion will jump to the opposite look soon. Chunky will become refined soon enough.

An old rule was- Birks are hiking shoes only. Now I wear them at any casual time.
Another was mixing metals. I still try to avoid it, but copper + gold isn't thaat bad.

Rules I still follow/recent rules-
No more than 3 colors per outfit (excepting prints).
Sneakers are for the gym. I'm ok with this personal rule making me old fashioned
No distressed denim or double denim.
Black with more muted colors only.
No wide scoop necks or v necks, skinny straps, or strapless. I have some scoop and v necks but not adding more.
No more body con or skirts much above the knee. I still have some but not interested in adding more.
No more sitting shoes!!!!!!
Don't stray from my palette!! Don't buy prints with white or other non palette colors.

I'm sure there are many more!

I used to say "never" to whiskering on denim. That has changed, because it limited my options so much. Now I look for tasteful whiskering if considering a distressed style and the whiskering can't be avoided.

I used to have a personal rule of no bright white footwear, because I felt it made my big feet look huge. That rule was broken this year with a pair of white sneakers. They do make my feet look huge! But now I don't care as much. I think my eye has been forced to adjust since the massive proliferation of the white sneaker has happened.

I remember growing up hearing another fashion saying that " Blue and green should never be seen except for in the washing machine" so for awhile I thought well I guess this colour combo is a no go, which is totally ridiculous.

Irina - such a great question and fascinating responses. In the 90's when I started working I realized I had no idea how to create a working wardrobe. So I read a bunch of stuff and followed the rules and it did not work. So now....

1. Buy pieces that integrate but don't buy matching separate outfits that don't relate to each other
2. Keep a neutral color palate - black, white, gray, navy, denim
3. Wear what you like and don't look for approval - black tights, stockings, skinnies and boyfriends with 9-10" rises, long jackets, leggings and skirted leggings, boots, boots and more boots.
4. Wear as much black as I like but feel free to play with my other neutrals
5. It's ok to choose not to wear "color"
6. Swim upstream, it's ok to be unique and authentic
7. You can wear a blazer for almost anything
8. It's ok to do a column of black and swap out boots/booties and jackets
9. embellished belts are the bomb
10. It's okay to hoard multiples of things you wear and wear out a lot
11. It's ok to be over dressed for every occasion as long as I feel comfortable
12. It's okay to make an effort
13. It's okay to swim in the fashion pond alone!!!

This is a fun read! Many of my "rules" are similar to those already mentioned - no holiday colors, 3/4 sleeves (although I like bracelet sleeves), no panty hose, no leggings as pants.

Many of my other rules are really just preferences. Things like cold shoulder tops, boatneck tops, no Birks or Fitflops (it's really just a fit issue but they make my feet look weird), no brights, no black with navy or brown, just can't get it to work. Same with wearing super dressy items in a casual way - I just don't feel like I can carry it off. Never say never on these though!

My bra straps must not show. I see young women purposely showing their bra or bralette straps and it is SO CUTE. But not on me.

These are so fun to read about. I agree with the chorus that so many past rules are now fun to break or don't even register as rules. I do have personal rules based on what flatters me and what doesn't, but it's not in that way where someone else "breaking" my rules would cause me to look at them and go, "oh, faux pas." It's totally a personal preference thing.

Lesley, that was a really interesting and good way of putting it ... off the top, I can't think of a single thing that would make me think 'faux pas' anymore if I saw it out and about ... things I like or don't like, yes, but I wonder if there really is such a thing as a 'faux pas' based soley on fashion? (i.e. not bringing context into it).

I agree re the faux pas reference Lesley. I made an embarrassing faux pad years ago wearing bare arms at an English trade show- everyone else was in suits and I wore a sheath dress. That’s the time I felt the most off ever!

DonnaF, I wear fishnets with cropped pants/jeans & oxfords. They are hardly visible but it is like my tiny, silly secret
Jessikams, my DH even now believes that I should wear delicate jewelry since I'm a petite, small boned woman
Joy, fashion is anything but static and I love it's constant reinvention.
suntiger, "Don't stray from my palette" is actually a goal that I have every year and congratulate myself if I stepped out only once or twice.
ChristelJ, I had a very same concern about the size of my feet before buying my first pair sneakers, especially a white pair. I gave up. I accepted my Big Feet
Dee, never heard this one!
gryffin, love your rules and follow some of them, too.
RobynF, I used really dislike navy with black until one day I tried a right (for me) shade of navy with a pair of favorite black pants. And voila!
Roberta, I want to experiment with bralette more next summer and try to wear it more visible, in contrasting colors. But it is just an idea, not sure if it's doable.
Lesley, Helena & Sal, it was not my intention to ask about so called "faux pas". Don't know what it is and who comes up with it. My question is about our own preferences and behaviors without judging others.

Thank you, everyone, who shared their rules, whole ones and broken!

What an interesting read!

Some interesting responses here, many of which resonate for me, but I'm guilty of breaking the 'no more than 3 colours' rule many times over - oops haha!

Irina, yes of course! I meant I think the "rules" I would have held myself to in the past would have been things commonly considered faux-pas by fashion writ large (i.e. my rule would have been 'don't commit a widely-held faux-pas', whatever that would have been at a given point in time) ... but what I found interesting about Lesley's comment was that I realize the concept of faux-pas doesn't really exist anymore (except perhaps in certain specific contexts, such as not wearing club-clothes to a funeral or something). I would say the concept of 'faux pas' is itself a bit of a faux-pas these days! And amen to no judgement - none either perceived or intended

A bit of a sidebar though perhaps, so fair enough to call it out - but definitely not intended to detract from the direction/intention of your thread

Though I remember hearing ‘redheads shouldn’t wear red’ when I was growing up, I had plenty of red in my closet - and still do. I can’t think of ever adhering too much to any fashion ‘rules’ though I accept guidance

I do have personal quirks or ‘rules’ if you will, but they apply to me and not to anyone else: no maxis (except formal wear) or chunky shoes (worried about mobility/tripping hazard), no padding in swim suits, exercise bras, or regular bras - if I can help it. Although I accept athleisure, and wear sneakers all the time - I draw a line at actually wearing my fitness kit as day wear, and this includes running shoes/gym shoes.