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Expensive Items go unworn

Mita

Hi there, I have realized I seem to have an unconscious internal ceiling of expense per item. If something is above that it often sits in my closet as it is too "precious" to wear. Anyone else do this? I'm thinking of a fun pair of tasseled suede black oxfords that were more than my usual shoe price. They are super cute but between being afraid of ruining them and that I tend to wear booties due to cold Seattle, these pretty guys are just sitting there.

Elsewhere in life I am trying to use the good china, etc, as when else will we do that? It is fun. I'm seeking your thoughts and inspiration about doing this with wardrobe items. Also, maybe I need to be thoughtful with myself with future purchases, developing a list of how much I am comfortable investing in different items.

Thank you

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32 replies

Latest reply was from smittie

Lesley

Veteran

I don't think I do exactly that, but I have had to provide FOR MYSELF a limit of how many "fancy" items I can buy (fancy meaning I will only wear these things rarely) to avoid shopping for a fantasy life where I'm in a different pair of leather ballet flats every day (when in reality I live a sneaker lifestyle).

Anonymous

I think exactly the same way you do! I am actively trying to overcome this hurtle and wear my precious wardrobe items. What helped me the most was a massive closet purge as a result of weight loss. As I purged each of my fabulous and well loved, but rarely worn closet jewels, my heart cried with pain and shame. I saw that I bought and preserved those jewels for someone else. It was eye opening. Now when I am inclined to "save something for good," I examine my thought process and ask myself why I am saving it. Believe it or not, it helps. Best wishes on your fashion adventure.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, I’m guilty of this with anything I feel is special. I want it to last forever. You have to push yourself a bit, maybe plan to wear them whereas other things you’ll just throw them on. Put them out so you’ll do it. Or do something to make them feel less precious. I feed my dog out of my grandma’s china. Lol.

ChristelJ

Veteran

It's amazing how difficult it can be to wear the expensive/special items. I have the same trouble, and have to remind myself that life can change at any moment and the opportunities to wear them might disappear, for example from health issues or climate or work or other unforeseen lifestyle changes. When I get a pricey item, I try to plan outfits with it immediately and then leave it at the front and center of my closet so I will wear it, even if it's to the grocery store.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I am so guilty of this but I am making a conscious effort to wear all my things as I realised that I was in danger of going to the great closet in the sky without wearing all the things that are hanging in my wardrobe which would be ridiculous really.

MsMaven

Veteran

I was raised this way: "Save your nice things for best." My last few weeks at home before I got married I got a constant reminder to save that nice dress or top until after I settled in my new married life.

I don't want to take my nice designer bags to the grocery store or to class where they will sit on the floor or my lap. I just don't go out to nice places as much as I used to. I want to use nice things, but I don't want to waste them either.

DonnaF

Veteran

Yes. I have almost completely stopped buying DCO clothing so even my jackets are machine washable. Covering my outfits at home by wearing aprons constantly has also helped. Aprons also have pockets in front which I like for my phone.

The Cat

Veteran

Oh, wealthy people have many problems.

I don't have the problem you describe, simply because:
● (1) I cannot afford to purchase expensive items. (My friends often tell me l look like a million. But that's another story and has to do with style, not money.)
● (2) I evaluate the content of my closet every season and make sure I use all my items.
Problem avoided/solved!

CarolS

Veteran

Not so much lately, but I've been guilty of that. Worse when you buy it, let it sit for a special occasion, and then outgrow it before it gets worn. Not proud to say I let that happen a few times.

Kathie

Veteran

I have price points that I simply don’t go above for certain items, mostly for budget reasons, but also because I know I’ll be too precious with the item. The price points do vary- I’ll happily spend quite a bit more on a winter coat that will be worn 4-5 days/week, for 4-5 months each year, over 5+ years. Like Donna, my main problem is DCO, especially for blouses and dresses. I’m re-homing the last couple DCO dresses that I have left, and not buying anymore.

cindysmith

Veteran

I used to "save" the expensive stuff, but I realized there was so much churn going on with the inexpensive stuff. I got rid of most of the inexpensive stuff, and kept all the "precious" stuff because I wanted to wear that stuff because I bought it for a reason. My closet is filled with nice things that I love and love to wear. I guess I started thinking that way when I read someone said "burn the $30 candle"

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

If not now - when?

Ask yourself that question over and over again....

Jules

Veteran

A maybe sorta related thought that was a game-changer for me: since I lead an informal life with no need for nice dresses, suits or dressy shoes, it’s ok to spend more on the stuff I do wear, like jeans and sneakers. In fact it makes way more sense to invest in the stuff I actually wear.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I don’t like to use the fancy stuff because it requires so much more work! For example, my good China can’t go in dishwasher, so I don’t use it because who wants the extra task of hand washing?
Same with fancy (suede or satin) shoes— I love how they look, but they can’t stand up to urban conditions, so one has to be picking carefully through the streets, avoiding muck and puddles— I just can’t be bothered.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Ha, I have my own twist on this! When I actually pay more than usual for something I do wear it a lot. But that means it is probably shoes and I probably paid for exactly what I wanted and couldn't source second hand. On the other hand, I have a few vintage treasures that I didn't pay much for (that is part of what makes them treasures) and I rarely wear because I could never replace them.

Anonymous

In time you realize that the item may get holes, dusty, or outdated. You may change size or your needs may change. Wear it while you still can.
Today I wore silver metallic pants, white and silver snow boots, and sparkly, dressy snowflake earrings with a new gifted silver metallic scarf and silver metallic socks. It was a little dressier than the culture, but was great for a cold snowy day and made me happy.

Bijou

Veteran

@Joy, you are wonderful and wise. I bet you looked a million bucks in you silver outfit.

Kari

Veteran

Mita, I live here too and there is a practical weather-related reason why suede sometimes goes unworn, especially this past month when it’s been so wet! But materials degrade over time, so my attitude is wear them when I can when it’s practical and won’t ruin them. I also got suede protecting spray this summer for some of my colorful suede shoes that I want to treat carefully.

notsaf

Veteran

Thanks for this thread! Such wisdom here. There is a discourse out there about garments being "investment pieces" that I think is just nonsense: clothes are things that are to be used and used up. But Kari's point about weather is a good one: it sounds as though it might be smart for you to hold off wearing those loafers if wearing them is in fact going to ruin them!

lyn67

Veteran

I think having clothing on different levels of value makes perfect sense as we probably all lead our lives on different levels of casuality/formality not to speak about our always changing aspirations/demandings/expectations along our lives.
I too have those some precious pieces-and even if they are saved for the better they certainly have their moments of good use.

Anonymous

I second Notsaf's comment about clothing not being an investment. That is a marketing ploy that gained traction and just will not go away.

April

Veteran

FWIW, Jason Markk's "Repel" suede/leather protectant is your friend.

Wear the loafers, light the candles, and use the good china. I don't have good china so it's easy for me to say, but even china that claims it can't be put in the dishwasher can often be put in the dishwasher. Here are some tips:

https://m.wikihow.com/Clean-Fi.....Dishwasher

Aquamarine

Veteran

I suffer from this too. Thanks for the reminders, everyone, to just WEAR and USE these things. It’s just STUFF that will outlive us all if we store it away.

Bijou

Veteran

Mita, I think many of us suffer from this. I have only a few designer items and have to force myself to use them and not treat them as 'special'.

always trying

Veteran

My issue is purchasing something for an event, wearing it for that event and then no not wearing it again as no place to wear it.

taylor

Veteran

I think we all tend to do this at one time or another. I have trained myself to wear the good stuff , unless weather won’t allow for it.

I just wish I had more places to wear the good stuff , I usually look like I came from somewhere “dressy” most of the time

Marilyn

Veteran

Many of us suffer from this affliction......

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

I was brought up this way -- at least to an extent --- but the good advice above has helped break me of the habit.

First, I do what Jules does -- I consider what my lifestyle is really like and try to buy mindfully for that life, not the fantasy life. So, in my case, I tend to spend more on denim and booties than on dressy shoes that I rarely have opportunities to wear.

At the same time, I do allow myself to purchase a few dressier or hmmm, let's say "weather challenging" items and I consciously accept they will get little wear. That's okay, as long as they are needed and worn a few times a year. You love those loafers!! In spring, you'll get more chances to wear them. Wear the heck out of them then and in early fall next year! Problem solved.

With that in mind... when deciding what to wear I say what Angie said: If not now, when...and also, why not wear it? (And okay, if it is a blizzard, I don't wear it.)

I sometimes do what Shevia suggests -- second hand shopping allows you to find other people's expensive treasures, which might feel a bit less "precious." Plus, you get gloating rights when you get to say, "And, I only paid $5."

Also -- if the issue is ease of care, I deal with that by machine-hand washing almost everything except woollen and leather coats and jackets (which go to cleaners). Saves worry about dry cleaning.

Joyce

(website)

This is a very inspiring post and responses. I too am going through this process on a few different plains.
I am cleaning out my mother's closet; full of a life well lived and fully documented in "outfits". Her mantra of shopping "twice" a year was followed without the kind of thought you all put into your wardrobes. And, price was important because in her eyes, this denoted quality and "status". However, in keeping our lives less complex and wardrobes more relevant, most of these outfits are going to goodwill hardly worn.
It isn't only people who are addicted to fast fashion who are guilty of over consumption, I think I picked up this trait from one of the best.
The "good stuff" in my closet is now what I wear every day and instead of price being the criteria of quality, comfort and fit trump all.

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