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Event anxiety

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Sal 's post about occasion wear capsules struck a chord with me.l don't have an occasion wear capsule mainly because I have very little occasion to use one and it seems from the response s that I am not alone in this.However my once in every 10years invite came in recently when the DH and I were invited to an awards evening by a nominee.
Now when I was younger I would have been delighted by this opportunity to dress up as it was I just felt anxious.It was not worth spending money on what is literally a once a decade outing but on the other hand I wanted to look appropriate for the occasion.
In the end I went with a coast dress that I have very nearly donated a number of times just because I never wear it.l already had the red shoes from Hobbs which I do wear and a furry topper that I bought at a deep discount from Monsoon a few years ago.This is the first time that I have worn it.
I felt that I fitted in OK and didn't let anybody down .l didn't waste money or buy something that I won't wear again but it did cause some anxiety and totally reinforced my hoarding tendencies!
How do you plan ahead for such things?Especially when they may be years apart.I might have grown in between times and I will have definitely aged.
Any wisdom to share,?
Oh,and in case you wondered our host won a life time achievement award in their field so major congrats to them!

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52 replies

Latest reply was from Cardiff girl

kellygirl

Veteran

Gorgeous! You look absolutely breathtaking. I can offer no suggestions in planning ahead. I pretty much only shop for the moment! Ha!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

You look stunning!
I would not have anything that perfect to wear. However, I do keep clothing that rarely gets worn if it still fits and serves a purpose.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Thank you Kelly girl,l suppose shopping for the moment is one approach.l just know that I won’t make good choices when I have a deadline looming.
Barbara Diane,thank you.l feel better that I am not alone in keeping clothes that I very rarely wear.

JAileen

Veteran

You look wonderful! I have a few fancy outfits leftover from weddings and holiday parties. I don’t know if they fit, though. If I had to come up with an outfit for an event such as yours, I would start there, then go to the thrift store. The chances of finding a fancy dress there are actually pretty good. And not too expensive.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Thank you JAileen.The thrift shop is very good advice as they do often have great dresses it’s just luck though if they have your size at the right time.

nemosmom

Veteran

You look absolutely beautiful in red! I don’t really plan ahead, but I have a few pieces that collect dust in my closet. I try them on once or twice a year to make sure they fit. I’m another vote for the thrift shop! All but one of my dresses were bought secondhand.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Thank you nemosmom,It looks like I’m not the only one with some long-standing,infrequently worn pieces which is reassuring.

SW Ann

Veteran

You look beautiful!

Molly Mac

Veteran

I have two black tie dresses that have been in my wardrobe for over 5 years. Both are classic shapes and colors so I feel like they have not dated. I rarely wear them, but I like knowing I have something to wear when the rare dressy occasion occurs. I might be moving one into the donate pile soon because it is a deep halter neckline and it is more décolletage than I prefer to show at this stage of my life.

Sal

Veteran

You look sensational! Keep the dress.

I think it is worth hanging on to these pieces because events do come up at short notice. I don’t think many of us need lots of options but one or two are useful!!

The furry topper is perfect here. It would also be fun with jeans and boots.

rachylou

Veteran

What a knockout! Yes, hoarding can come in handy, but I need a dress that good!

Bonnie

Veteran

You look amazing!!

MsMaven

Veteran

You look gorgeous. My problem with keeping old event outfits is that I am at a stage in life where my body shape is changing. Even though I haven't gained a lot of weight, I can't wear the dress I bought for formal weddings just 4 years ago.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

You look beautiful in your pictures and the dress is worth saving even if rarely used. If I am ever invited to a very fancy event, which seems unlikely frankly, I will deal with it then, perhaps by renting something.

DonnaF

Veteran

Wow! Great look down to your shoes! I have nothing as I have never gone to any fancy events. I guess I also would check thrift and consignment shops as well as Rent the Runway. If DD were to have a formal wedding I suppose I would consider new, however.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Good gracious, you look spectacular!! Good job on keeping those items -- you're a knockout in them and I hope you'll wear again!

I don't have many events, either, but I do own a couple of cocktail type dresses and won't get rid of them because, well, you never know. I have no real advice. If invited to such an event and if none of my available items would work, I'd simply shop, either at consignment or at retail.

SarahD8

Veteran

Well I have no wisdom to share because your smokin' look here has knocked me speechless.
Congrats to your friend!!

Joy

Veteran

You look amazing. Keep that dress and the whole outfit
I would feel anxious too. Having to go out and buy something is my least favorite way to shop. I try to keep on hand a basic dress or skirt and top it a tuxedo suit that can be dressed up if needed. A column of black can be very useful, I do not worry much about accessories like shoes because I don’t mind shopping for new ones and accessories for the outfit that look currant or even trendy. Weddings have been tricky because I do not wear black or white to them. So that means keeping an simple outfit in a neutral like tan or a color that can be changed up with a scarf or jacket.
You never know when you will need funeral attire, so that is something to have for each season and it may need to travel.

Anonymous

Well - if this is your version of coming up with something to wear , you’ve got a leg up on most of us here . You look fantastic ! I have no formal wear at all anymore - those days seem long gone and I wouldn’t fit anything from the past anyways . I’d simply head out and begrudgingly buy something ( or try to get out of going altogether , lol) .

Kate

Veteran

Wow! You look perfectly beautiful in that outfit. If a formal occasion came my way, I’d likely rent something. My one special occasion dress is a vintage number from the mid-fifties, and I’m not even sure it would still fit. Last time I wore it was probably 20 years ago!

Runcarla

Veteran

You look fabulous, CG, and I vote 'keep' the dress. I have one in a similar fabric that I bring with on mid-winter 'escape' vacations (rolls down to nothing) for when DH and I go out for a nice dinner. You could do the same and knock the formality down a peg by wearing red or sparkly flips-flops.

Also endorsing second hand/thrift for occaisionwear.

RainB

Wow, you look gorgeous! I would hold on to that dress too

Cardiff girl

Veteran

SW Ann,thank you!
Molly Mac and Ms Maven,this is the problem isn’t it,things that suited years ago don’t always stay like that do they.
Sal,thank you,funny you should suggest wearing the furry topper with boots etc.WhenI bought it that’s what I had planned but I never did.Maybe I will get around to it this Autumn.
Rachylou,yep I am a confirmed hoarder now!
Shevia and Donna F ,renting is something I have never tried and don’t know anyone who has so I guess I am alittle wary.
Bonnie,thank you.
Suz,thank you.l guess I m hanging onto this dress just in case too.
Sarah D,you are so sweet,thank you
Joy,thank you and you are right,I need to think about funeral attire.
Lisa P.thank you.l am also VERY begrudging if I feel that I have to buy something when I wasn’t planning too.
Kate,Ha!sounds like you wear your occasion wear as often as I do!
Runcarla,thank you,l m glad that you have a favourite dress up piece.
Rain B,thank you.lm not planning to get rid of the dress now,it’s proved it’s place in the wardrobe.

Katerina

Veteran

You look so beautiful! The dress is perfection. I like Carla’s idea of wearing it to summer dinners. Would it be possible to dress it down somehow with a jacket or a cardigan and more casual footwear and wear it more often?

I understand you completely regarding the formal wear. I don’t have a formal wear capsule and I really dislike shopping for formal occasions. I usually try to get away with dressing up some items I already have and wear, such as silk satin trousers and silk tops with statement jewelry and clutch bags. Tuxedo blazers are also quite handy for this.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

You look wonderful Cardiff girl. What a beautiful dress. It’s so good you fitted it still, from whenever you bought it! I always try to keep some smart items just in case like that. If I ever see a really nice dress on a great sale I may buy it, like my $30 grey one from 2 summers ago- from the outlet store of a high quality brand. Love your shoes and furry cape x

Liesbeth

Veteran

It’s beautiful!
Reading your account, I feel I’m now halfway to where you are. I enjoy dressing up but the years of attending weddings have unexpectedly ended quite soon - I’m mid-thirties and haven’t been to one in ages! No other formal events either and none to be expected. I’m still adjusting to the idea that most of my unmarried friends and family may stay that way and my small formal capsule may keep collecting dust until I tire of the styles I once loved, or they no longer suit me...
anyway, enough with the lamenting. If it’s just the one dress, and it suits you as well as this one does, I’d hold onto it. Should an event arise and you need something different, maybe borrowing from a friend or family member with a similar build would be an option? I personally loathe shopping for formal wear with a tight deadline.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I’m WOWED

You are modest! You look absolutely KILLER and gorgeously graceful. I do adore the colour.

Anonymous

No need for anxiety, beautiful result with what you had.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

You look amazing!

I also tend to hoard anything that still fits and that I still like. So I guess if this happened to me, I'd start there. We also have a consignment store here that specializes in "fancy clothes" as well as designer pieces. I've taken some stuff to sell, but never really browsed, but I suspect that I'd be able to find something formal there.

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