Trying to force myself out of a style rut has felt very odd and wrong for me, and now I know why. I don’t think I’m actually in a style rut. Yesterday I made my fall/winter to spring/summer wardrobe transition and was shocked at the sheer volume of clothing that has never been worn.

My style has always evolved on its own. I stop choosing these things to wear and start choosing these other things instead. Seeing all this new stuff in my closet showed me that my style has indeed evolved the way it normally has. I understand now that my style rut isn’t a style rut, but a symptom of something else. So what’s been keeping me stuck in the clothes I’ve been wearing for ages?

When I stopped to think about when I started wearing these outfits in earnest, and also considered when I started to feel bored about clothing, the actual problem became very clear. It isn’t a style issue, it’s a body issue.

I had some health stuff a few years ago and my body was all over the place for a while: sometimes far too skinny, sometimes all pouffed up, sometimes odd bulges. I think the clothes I’ve been wearing were the styles/combos that always worked. They were a sure thing; I wouldn’t put them on and have to take them off because they didn’t fit right or looked bizarre. They looked good, and I liked them. I think I’m bored now, because some other part of me already knew that my figure didn’t need that safety net anymore. I probably haven’t needed the safety net for a while, but my body had been a little crazy for so long that I never really considered that it might already be normal again, even though my health has returned and is steady. Now I have to adjust to the idea that on any given day, the clothes in my closet are actually all going to fit the way I expect.

I feel better, though perhaps a little silly. I’m glad to let go of the idea of pushing my style in any one direction. When given free reign, my style can be pretty all over the place, irrespective of what I might describe as ‘my look.’ That might change of course, but I enjoy it more when I just let it happen.

This morning I went back to my closet and removed almost all of my ‘go to without thinking’ spring/summer clothes and returned them to storage. Everything else in my closet has been separated into piles of ‘never worns’ and ‘worn once or twice in the last five years.’

I kept only 7 things that I’ve worn many times before: two striped tops and two checked halter blouses (since I don’t have any other printed tops), a textured cream coloured tube top that I would miss, and 2 other tube tops in bright colours that my wardrobe wouldn’t otherwise have. I’m not stuck on any one jacket or blazer so I exempted them from the purge. It feels a little nuts and a little awesome that so much in my closet has never been worn.

My guy and I have dinner plans with friends tonight – and I have no idea what to wear!