End of week two of treatments - YouLookFab Forum

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End of week two of treatments

Tanya

Veteran

Tonight was the 10th treatment, 20 more to go.
It looks that the bad side effects are starting. My throat has started feeling dry and hurting a little. My skin is a bit red, like a mild sunburn. I am
tiring more and more easily. I have to admit that I am quite disappointed, as I was hoping this things would kick in later. Also scared. My oncologist has said that he doesn't think that throat pain should be so bad for me to need the feeding tube, but I was certainly terrified tonight when I swallows some bread that wasn't chewed too well that made my throat hurt.
Also, I could feel the drug's side effects too. I get drowsy, tired and
occasionally quite dizzy. Today's dizziness spell was bad enough that I
decided against going to the lab.
So, at the pace this is going, it looks that next week might be my last week in the lab for this year, if I even manage that. Tomorrow I hit the full dose of the drug and really hope my body gets used to it quickly. Feeling quite down about all of this..

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50 replies

Latest reply was from Mander

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Ugh, Tanya I'm so sorry.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I can't even think of words to express how sorry I am for the pain and fear you are experiencing. Keep strong and look forward to better days.

(((hugs)))

catgirl

Veteran

Oh, sweetie... Can you watch some comforting or funny shows? 30 Rock? Flight of the Conchords? Lie down and listen to a book on tape or some music?

I can't imagine how scary it must be to be facing this down, but know that if you can just put your head down and do what it takes to endure the storm, you will be done with the treatments and out on the other side.

Sharon

Veteran

Sad to hear that things are getting hard. I know after the first week you were feeling good and at the back of my mind was the hope that it would stay like that the whole time. It sucks that it hasn't.

I can understand you feeling down. Sometimes the whole thing feels like one loss after another. But please know and believe that whatever gets thrown at you, you will hang in there and get through it. You will come out the other side and life will be good again.
Hugs.

Ginkgo

Veteran

A third of the way through, hang in there. Sending you a virtual hug.

donnat

Veteran

I am so sorry this is happening. Yes, 1/3 of the way through...sending you all the positive vibes i can. Keep the brave, it will get better.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Tanya, thanks for the update and please keep them coming. Stay around in whichever form.

Take it one day at a time. Sharon said something I found interesting - it may feel like one loss after another. That makes sense to me and I hope it does (help) to you and I hope you are gentle on yourself for feeling down - you do have too much on your plate, alone.

How about drawing a chart and crossing every treatment off to see visually where you are? Only a few more and you're in the second half. That *is* important.

Have you made arrangements for the following days - transport to the hospital, food in the freezer? It might be easier to do it now and not to have to worry about too much later?

I hope you stacked up the good things to watch, but also have some plans to go out to get some fresh air, however short it is. Changing the environment, for however short, is important.

Also, can you take up some crafts? Something to keep the hands and mind busy? Knitting? No worries, it might not be Aran sweater like Diana's straight away

Good luck. Hold on to whatever makes you feel good - YLF especially. We are cheering for you more than you know.

Anonymous

Sending you love and hugs, Tanya. Wish I lived closer so I could bring you some soup.

Glory

Veteran

I have been thinking about you every day this week. I am sorry to hear that week two has been harder. Keeping you in my thoughts!

LACeleste

Veteran

I am so sorry you are going through this Tanya. Thinking of you.

Anonymous

Big, gentle hugs, Tanya. It sounds like soups, ice cream and yogurt may go down best. Maybe if someone asks what they can do, tell then to bring you a shake. Can you Skype with your family and distant friends?

Tanya

Veteran

Thank you for all the kind words and the support ladies.

The pain is actually quite mild at this point, really more of a discomfort. On its ownit is not worrisome at all - what bothers me is that it started and who knows how bad it might get. If it stayed like this I would be very happy.

Una, I have plenty of things to watch - I recently acquired HBO and a friend gave me a gift subscription to Netflix. I am sure I will watch a lot of stuff soon, but right now I have no time - I am hoping to go to work this weekend to make up for some stuff I missed when I wasn't feeling well. I also need to do a bunch of chores etc.

Sharon, you said that very eloquently, it does feel like one loss after other.

Ornella, I have made some arrangements, though not all. A father of a good friend of mine is driving me now till December. Then Some friends will take turns. I am currently taking care of food on my own. If it gets too difficult I am hoping my my friends will help, but we shall see.
I am afraid I am both really bad at crafts and not particularly interested in them. It is my brain that I need to keep occupied, and I tend to read a lot. The credit card connected to my Amazon Kindle account is smoking these days.

Joy, yes, I Skype with my family all the time.

bj1111

Veteran

hugs...and sorry about early throat difficulties. thinking about you often.

Peri

Veteran

Tanya, I'm so sorry. I know how fear can magnify pain...make it actually physiologically worse, not just that it seems worse. It isn't close to what you are going through but I herniated a disk last year and was in bad pain for months...we didn't even dance for almost 9 months.

The best advice I received seemed a little out there at the time...to find someone who does medical hypnosis. I was skeptical but did it anyway because I knew I wasn't dealing well with all the anxiety. I figured if nothing else I would learn some good relaxation techniques and that couldn't hurt.

It is nothing like the movies and the jokes and I have found it majorly helpful. I've learned to actually talk to the pain and anxiety and hold an image of it fading away instead of escalating through fear. It sounds wacky but it has really helped me, and since you said the fear of what is coming is worse than wha is actually happening, I'm thinking it could help you too.

Sona

Veteran

I would think of acupuncture if your physician allows it. It is the one alternative modality that has shown to improve pain dramatically even in returning veterans. Huge hugs and plenty of love coming your way. This has to be a scary time in your life. remember we are here for you. Have you thought about some counseling as well? Having a place to be able to talk freely can be very therapeutic. Think about seeing a psychologist please. Perhaps one that has a niche practice in oncology patients even.
Prayers coming your way.

catherine

Veteran

Tanya, thinking of you and hoping you can take one minute, hour, and/or day at a time. Much easier said than done, of course.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Tanya. It's rough and brutal. And all of it exacerbated by the fact that you're alone at home with no one to emotionally and physically support you when you're down like this. Ohhhhhhh, how I wish we could make it better for you.

(I'm annoyed at the oncologist for being negative, actually. His "surprised" comment doesn't help. He should know better. People are different and you have been through a lot).

I echo Sona. Alternative medicine can be effective at managing these unpleasant symptoms. They worked when my Mama had chemo. Perhaps you can investigate that a little.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, Tanya. Keep on believing that although things feel worse. Sandy felt the same. Not wanting to complete her final radiation treatments because she couldn't handle the brutality of it anymore. She found the strength and soldiered on. And now her state of Cancer is in remission. As hard as it is, you will find this strength too.

Lots of love and hugs. xo

Diana

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear that things are getting rougher, Tanya. But you are 1/3 of the way there already! Here's hoping things do not get any worse, and that the rest of the treatments go smoothly. Take care of yourself.

Tanya

Veteran

Thanks again ladies!

I am already seeing a counselor. She is a social worker, not a psychologist, but she specializes in cancer patients.
I will look into acupuncture if the pain becomes really bad. However, it is difficult to pile on even more appointments if I have to look for more people to drive me places.
Angie, I am afraid I made my poor oncologist look bad unintentionally, he is actually a real sweetheart. He said those words weeks ago, not now. I actually haven't seen him since the throat started bothering me, as I see him once a week.
Diana, I am afraid things will get much worse, I was warned about that and it comes with the territory. The question is really only how bad.

MsMaven

Veteran

So sorry you have to go through this. It does sound like you are well prepared for the next few weeks. All the best to you.

Kristin L

Veteran

I'm so sorry Tanya. And your oncologist needs a refresher course on bedside manner! I'm sending you big hugs!

DizzyLizzy

Oh Tanya, I'm so sorry for all you're going through. Just think about getting through one day at a time - we're thinking of you every step of the way. Virtual hugs.

Anonymous

Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. I agree with the others who have said to just take it a day at a time. Keep up with the updates if you can, we are all rooting for you. ((hugs))

DonnaF

Veteran

Thanks for the update. Hypnotherapy/guided imagery might help you stare down the anxiety and stress, not to mention the pain. I am wondering if you might find one who makes house calls? After all, hypnotherapists don't need more equipment than a script or two, a place to sit for them, and a comfortable place to sit or lie for you. They would need to know/see that you are legit and not going to rip them off -- same precautions that you would take for them.

Classically Casual

Veteran

Thank you so much for writing this update, Tanya. So many of us are thinking of you and wishing you a smooth journey through this chapter. You've rec'd many helpful ideas. Here's hopefully one more: be sure to investigate making the financial arrangements comfortable for your budget. My friend, who had an aggressive form of breast ca, and thus more treatments, and had good health care insurance, made arrangements to pay a fixed amount a month of her out of pocket total, interest free, I believe. She was very determined to live her life fully, and didn't want any adventures to be curtailed due to financial reasons.

Also, it helped me to plan a reward for the end of treatment (or when one feels up to enjoying the reward.) Mine was a weekend getaway with DH & the dog, but other people have more exciting goals, like a vacation in Hawaii or the like.

Wishing you all the best for week 3!

Debbie

Veteran

Tanya -Please know that we are all in your corner. You are virtually surrounded by people that care for you. This is a scary time in your life. You are 1/3 through and that is something to be proud of. I am thinking about you.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Tanya, I'm so sorry that the pain has already kicked in. I hope it is just the way your body is adjusting and that it will level out a bit rather than escalating sharply, and I also hope you will take strength from all the warm wishes here. We are all thinking of you every day. I'm so glad you are sharing your progress. It is true that an alternative modality might be helpful, yet I also see your point about the difficulty of juggling so many appointments. Perhaps when you have stopped working would be the better time to add those in.

Elly

Veteran

So sorry to hear that you are begginning to feel side-effects Tanya. IDK if your oncologist has mentioned this, but if you haven't had a dental check-up recently, it might be a good time to do it before your immune system is lowered. My grandmother had a small infection in her mouth she wasn't aware of prior to starting treatment and as her immune system took a hit it flared up and made her miserable. Treatments can be hard on mouth health and starting on the best possible footing helps. Don't worry about burdening friends too much with rides and food, they are probably wondering how they can help. Emotionally, I am glad to hear you are seeing a counselor.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Hi Tanya, I'm so sorry you are going through this! Hang in there and try to find relaxation - sounds like you need it right now. Feel free to PM if you just want to chat/vent your worries or whatever!

xo

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