Dressing the Stepmother of the Groom - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing the Stepmother of the Groom

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Well, gang, it's here. The day when I start processing that I'll be partaking in a new role in step-parenthood! My youngest stepson will be getting married this summer, and V, his fiancé (who we adore!) sent me a swatch of fabric for the color that her bridesmaids will be wearing. I don't know yet what the mother of the bride will wear, or what the mother of the groom either, but V said that her mom is "involving" this color in her dress. The other colors they are using are off-white and a "warm yellow." The attached color is close to what she sent -- I'd say the swatch has a bit more blue in it, and they are using succulents in the bouquets, so I can definitely see how the yellow picks up those colors in the succulents I've seen (I've photographed a lot of them).

Well, the good news is, the color she sent is one that I wear well. Warm yellow, not so much. I know I don't have to match, but I do not want to clash, of course.

Since this is my first time doing anything like this, I want to ask your opinions. What do you think is appropriate in terms of a printed dress for someone with my role in the wedding? I know I will be included in photos. My husband will be wearing a tux with a tie the color of the swatch. I have a hard enough time finding dresses that fit me well that I'm already a little worried about finding something that fits with a fairly narrow color scheme. I definitely want to look occasion appropriate, but not (in Michael Kors Project Runway voice) "she looks very mother of the bride"! I would love to find something I can actually enjoy wearing again, but that may be a tall order. It's an afternoon wedding and not terribly formal, so I'm relieved I don't have to find a very fancy occasion dress.

Any suggestions or advice for me?

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Dressing

40 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Anonymous

Considering your role, I'd have something made. How much lead time have you got? A raw-silk type of fabric with a subtle sheen in a strappy fitted dress? Same fabric, sheath-type dress? The sky is the limit when you get something made for you....this is such a pretty colour, you are going to look beautiful in it . eta - I was thinking a solid too, not a print .

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

How exciting! You have plenty of time, and no matter what - you are going to look killer.

Does the frock have to be printed?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

No, it doesn't have to be printed, but I look better in print dresses than solid color. Solid color dresses so often seem to show every bump and bulge. But I'm certainly willing to try a variety of styles. It will be summer, so nothing long-sleeved, which makes things even more complicated. And you know how I like a midi length. It's hard enough just finding a dress that fits and flatters and is long enough.

Part of me wishes I could just wear my DVF wrap dress, but I think the color is a bit too teal and the pattern too graphic/bold. Or my floral sheath dress, but I'm not sure that a black background floral is the way to go either, even though I'm sure that color is in the print somewhere!

I don't want to wait too long to address this because this spring is going to be crazy with travel and projects, and I'll be going away for a bit this summer, before the wedding, so I want to have everything planned before I go away. Yes, I'm always the planner!

Liz A.

Veteran

From someone who just got married, I'd go for solid if you can, but it's not the end of the world if you can't find anything. Solids do look better in photos. Or something that's partially solid with a print away from your face or a texture.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, I don't want to pull focus from the bride. A quiet, soft or low-contrast print could work, I think. I would love to do something in a slightly deeper shade of that kind of blue-green so I don't *match* the bridesmaids but coordinate with the wedding party. I want to be careful I don't go with a color that's too bright since this is a rather muted color. It's tricky. It's not an easy color to find, either!

unfrumped

Veteran

Remember your fab sort of watercolor print sheath or some kind of drapey dress? It was a special occasion and you looked terrific.

Diana

Veteran

This color (I think of it as "celadon") seems to be super popular for weddings, but there's very little other (non-bridesmaid) stuff in it. Spring IS the time to look for it though. Shame, because I quite like it. I like Lisa's idea to have something made.

I'd hesitate about a print unless it's quite muted, because prints can do weird things in photos.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Unfrumped, I think I know the dress you mean, and it's really pretty, but quite colorful. I think it will be a bit too much.

Diana, you're right, I think this is considered "celadon."

The idea of having something made is starting to grow on me. I'd love to get the woman who made my wedding dress, but I think she may be too big/popular/busy now. I might ask her anyway to see what she says.

Diana

Veteran

Here's one from Adrianna Papell:
http://www.adriannapapell.com/.....10833.html

Anonymous

How exciting! I'll be following your journey on this one.
My gut tells me that blue would be nice, in order to harmonize with the celadon but not match. For me, blue and green do work well together. Maybe you feel differently though.

Anonymous

I have no advice, but I am excited for you. It should be really fun.

Keix

Veteran

I think of this color as sea foam and it's my favorite color! But I agree with Diana that it's hard to find, especially in dressier pieces. If you don't find anything at retail, I'd consider the custom route as well.

JAileen

Veteran

If the bridesmaids are wearing that color, I definitely would not wear the same color. I would want my outfit to look nice with it, but not match. You're not in the bridal party, after all, although you are an important family member. When I first saw it, I thought of plum. Is that a color you wear?

Runcarla

Veteran

You drew a winning card with the colour scheme, and a DVF wrap style dress would rock. You could go a little darker turquoise, or find a design that has a printed border but solid upper.

Will the Rockstuds come out to play?

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

This is such a big deal and a big decision since there will be lots of photos. I don't think I would wear that color because of the bridesmaids. It's a shame you can't preview the mother of the bride's choice. Since DH will be wearing a touch of this shade, I would suggest a complimentary color in a similar hue. Perhaps Serenity color of the year?

MsMaven

Veteran

First--take a deep breath and don't panic.

I've been a step-grandmother four times now, and because DH officiated in 3 of the weddings, I've been part of the procession 3 times, so I kind of know how you feel, although as step-mother you will have more intense scrutiny on you, I am sure. (Luckily, there were no other grandmothers so I was the only one to fill that spot.) I usually walked down the aisle with my handsome son, the stepfather.

Seems like a lot of pressure: you don't want to outshine the mother of the bride but you don't want to blend into the wallpaper either.

Is there a theme to the wedding? Will you be comfortable in a fitted dress or would you be comfortable in something flowing? Of course you need to compliment your DH's tie color.

As I remember it, you are tall (at least you look tall.) I've had good luck with Carmen Marc Valvo, Kay Unger, Adrienne Papell and Tadashi.

My preliminary shopping expeditions through a number of different types of stores were extremely disappointing.

I like the idea of having something made if you can. I bought three of my dresses online, but it took a lot of shopping, ordering, trying and returning.

L'Abeille

Veteran

I'm trying to picture a deeper tonal version of this colour that is muted, not too bright. A bit bluer than teal. I think it's called petrol?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Excellent points, all. I love that deeper teal-petrol color. The issue once we get into really deep shades is that this will be a dress for the peak of summer. I don't want to go too dark.

I could see going more into the blue territory -- a similar tone but different hue, so to speak.

I could also see a peachy neutral being really pretty and subtle but probably not my best color. My mom wore a suit in that kind of color to my wedding and looked beautiful. But my skin tone is more pinkish like my dad's so it's not the best color on me. I also wondered about a light grey, with a little sheen to it.

SarahTheWhite

Veteran

In my mind's eye, I keep seeing a lighter dusty eggplant color. Nothing too dark and not too light like lavendar, but sort of a grey/eggplant. I think that would compliment the green and yellow without having to incorporate the colors at all, I don't know... It's just what popped into my mind.

rabbit

Veteran

If a big goal is harmony in the photo, I'd see if you can ask the fiance what color the other parents will wear (if they know yet) and if they are planning pattern or not, and then chose something that complements with that group and the seafoam green -- that might narrow your selection and make it easier to focus the hunt.

MsMaven

Veteran

Sarah's idea of the eggplant color sounds interesting, although it might be a difficult color to find in spring.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

When you have a few ideas, links or photos, can you run them by the bride and/or her mother and ask if any of those appeal to her/them? That way you might get a better idea of the level of dressiness, classic or trendy, color coordination desires, etc. At best you will have help picking your dress, or will have a direction to go finding other options.

Joy

Veteran

My son's bride had a similar green for her bridesmaids and used yellow sunflowers in the church. The MOTB wore a beautiful midtone grey dress and mine was a sapphire blue for an early August wedding. I'd like some shade of teal for you. A watery print or fabric would be pretty and probably not too out there but still arty. Something that is not high contrast.

rachylou

Veteran

Dare I ask what the mother of the groom might wear? Oh wait... I see that's an unknown too. I'd be tempted to do a print that incorporates that celadon green.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Do you have access to Hobbs in the US? they deliver but it's not ideal. Hobbs occasion wear range is lovely quality and full of wedding appropriate prints.
https://www.hobbs.co.uk/produc.....ge=dresses

https://www.hobbs.co.uk/produc.....ge=dresses

https://www.hobbs.co.uk/produc.....ge=dresses

https://www.hobbs.co.uk/produc.....ge=dresses

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Style Fan

Veteran

Teal is such a great colour for you. I wonder how it looks with the bridesmaid colour.
I am sure you will look gorgeous.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Janet - how fun. You'll be gorgeous in that color. Do a search on J Crew "Dusty Shale" - they are "bridesmaid dresses" but there are some possibilities there and it looks like a good color match (I know they are solid, but you could add some amazing colorful jewelry and killer metallic shoes.
https://www.jcrew.com/search2/.....038;Nsrt=0

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Joy, I've been looking at blue -- it's so much easier to find, and it's a color I wear well. I think it would work well to complement but not clash with the other colors.

I just got a very nice note from the mother of the bride with some details on the wedding, so we've opened up a dialog -- I've not met her yet, as she lives in another state, but she seems as sweet as her daughter.

I have a good relationship with my husband's ex as well, so I can get in touch with her too. She is a very no-frills-style kind of person, and she lives in a very rural area, so I'm not sure what she'll be doing for her shopping. She is very practical, so I'm betting she'll find something neutral that she could also wear if/when her other son gets married.

The more I think about it, the more I think a fairly simple cut in a quiet print or a solid would be the way to go. A color perhaps a little darker than the shade of the celadon, in the grey-blue-green range, would be ideal. Probably something like a slight cap-sleeve fitted sheath in a just-below-knee length. Something like that would be simple enough to have made, if I can't find it at retail.

A huge thank you for all the ideas and links!

sarah

Veteran

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