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Dresses

Anonymous

I am seeing dresses being worn everywhere. I like seeing dresses. It looks fresh. But I do not like seeing the wearer's underwear.

On Monday, I was in a work meeting and I literally could see everything under her skirt. She was wearing a skort so I guess that didn't matter that much. But the overall look, even though she was wearing a skort, still made me shudder.

I thought that was probably a one-off.

Then on Tuesday, I was at a board meeting and the woman sitting across from me was wearing a white dress. She must have been somewhat caffeinated because she was in constant movement. I got to see her white underwear repeatedly. I should be grateful she was wearing underwear.

Have women forgotten how to wear dresses or do they just not care anymore in the age of casualization? These women loose credibility on so many different levels if I can see straight up to their underwear. And no, I was not looking. In fact, it wasn't something I wanted to see, it was just impossible to NOT see.

Dressing

41 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

kkards

Veteran

i work with a man who wears button down shirts all the time...but he doesn't wear an undershirt....annoys the h*ll out of me as i don't really want to see his chest hair....as you say, it's just impossible NOT to see...

Anonymous

IT IS impossible to not see. And it must have bothered me enough to write a post about it.

I do not like this new trend.

kkards

Veteran

Yes.. and I should have added this man is the SVP of my department. I thought I was the only one it bothered..but a few months ago, after we came out of an hours long meeting someone else who works with me mentioned it! Felt good to know I wasn’t alone.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'm gobsmacked. Underwear showing in a business meeting?!?

This is why midi dresses are so great....

Sisi

Veteran

Sterling, do you mean that the fabric was sheer or that the skort and the dress were too revealing?

ChrisM

Veteran

Interesting discussion, Sterling. This is one reason the short dresses especially at work give me pause - the lack of self awareness for some people is breathtaking.

I agree that the overall casualization of the workplace allows this to happen more frequently. Like destroyed jeans (I’ve seen waaaay to much upper leg through some of those expensive holes) - the idea of appropriateness is murky at best for some.

As to what what kkards noticed - the revenue manager at my client wore no tee shirt AND left his shirt unbuttoned one too many buttons. Ugh.

It’s pretty surprising that the board meeting incident happened. I’d like to think at that level it was a one off. Yikes.

Anonymous

Thanks for asking, Sisi. In both cases, the fabric was not sheer.

It had to do with the way the women were sitting.

The woman in the skort was sitting with her legs open. She was pushed away from the table. Since she was speaking, all eyes were on her. I was aghast. And like I said earlier, I assumed this was the exception.

The second woman was wearing a white eyelet dress that was lined and fully opaque. She kept shifting and moving in her chair. I didn't see her underwear with every single movement, but there was enough movement, that there times her underwear were in clear view. Again, when her legs were wide open. Because both her dress and her underwear were both white, it was not as jarring to me.

Have women just forgotten how to wear dresses or did I have the misfortune of being in the room with two really crass and vulgar individuals?

Joyce B

Veteran

That is too funny to read, thank you for the laugh before work. However, it is a real problem for the woman in the dress because that takes away from anything she may have to contribute at the meeting plus it takes away respect from others and she may not even know it. One has to have a lot of people skills or be close to her to approach her about it. I think I would like to know if that happened to me so that I could hide under the rug and never come out of there, that must be very embarrassing.

Anonymous

Chris -- I wondered if it length played a factor in this. The skort was on the short side because I think skorts are by definition shorter. But this woman said with her legs wide open. It went beyond a lack of self awareness.

And I want to add that there were only two women in the meeting room. She was one; I was the other. That means the entire rest of the room were men. Ew.

The white lined opaque dress was a few inches above the knee. I didn't think the dress would have been too short ... if she sat with some degree of awareness. And she did most of the time. There were just instances of fidgetness. The more she fidgeted, the more I saw her underwear. It was a long meeting and I saw her underwear more and more as the meeting wore on.

Anonymous

Suz -- I am speechless. I wasn't going to write this post but it bothered me enough after seeing it twice in two days.

I don't wear dresses, but I do wear skirts. I always cross my legs or keep my legs together. The one time I have problems is getting in and out of cars, but I know that is a problem for me and I try my best to avert problems.

Anonymous

Joyce -- the woman in the board meeting has a lot of professional clout. She ALWAYS dresses exceptionally well. This dress is no exception. In fact, at one time, she was one of my style icons.

It was the meeting itself. It was long. The room was warm. The agenda was not being followed. People were cross talking. The woman was in constant motion (up, down, shift, shift, up, down, shift). I have never observed this behavior in her before, but I will be watching for it in the future.

This is not the type of thing I would ever be comfortable commenting on.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I recently walked past a young lady/girl... it may even have been my DD's prom... wearing a beautiful dress (which is why I think it may have been prom, I just don't remember) and she was sitting on some steps, talking on her phone, legs wide open. Clear view up to her nether regions (yes, she was wearing underwear). I was gobsmacked... figured the legging generation has never learned to sit in a skirt. Obviously it's not just them...

I will admit, when I'm at the cottage, wearing a running skirt/skort, I behave as if it's shorts and not a skirt.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Or maybe dresses are not cut as well as they used to? Maybe they're not intended for one to be actually doing things in them - for example, moving?

Cardiff girl

Veteran

My daughter was telling me about a female teacher at her school,white dress,red thong,not very professional in my view .

Becky

Veteran

Ah, yes, I have experienced similar situations before. I hate being forced to see something I don't want to see. I find that it tends to make me more conscious of my own coverage level, so I guess that's one positive outcome . . .

Anonymous

Sterling, I am glad you brought this up. Are girls no longer taught to sit with knees together, feet flat on the floor? I had a public school teacher when I was 9-10 years old who would carry a long wooden ruler and whack girls on the legs who were not sitting properly. Boys with those loose shorts should learn this too. Too often I have had to see up a male's shorts like the Friend's episode, who was sitting across from me with legs crossed. Yuk. As you said, you are forced to see.

Bijou

Veteran

Sterling, I do feel sorry for these women, as sometimes (as in the case of the woman in the white dress) I am sure she had no idea that she was flashing her underwear and would be mortified to know that.

Grooming and deportment are important. My mother made me attend classes in my school holidays as a teen and I remember we were tested on getting in and out of cars and taught how to sit. Whilst it is probably very old fashioned, it is useful to know these techniques. We also learned about skincare and make-up, so I enjoyed attending the lessons.

Colette

Veteran

Oh my. It sounds like the infamous scene from the movie Basic Instinct.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Yes, this is one of the primary reasons I hesitate to wear dresses! I used to see this all. the. time at work. And it drove me crazy too. I don't think it gained them any respect, that's for sure.

Sisi

Veteran

Thank you for the clarification, Sterling. Sitting with one's legs open?! At a meeting?! How weird. At the end of the meeting you could tell the lady, I could not help noticing what pretty panties you are wearing, do you mind to share the brand? Hee-hee.

Anonymous

LOL- I hear comments all the time about man spread but agree that women have no longer been raised with the idea of "sitting like a lady". I think a lot of it has to do with poor posture caused by furniture (over stuffed with little support) and bad habit. Had to laugh at recent reports on news of MM (the new Dutchess of Sussex) being caught "correcting" her sitting posture.

I do agree that you would be doing these ladies a great service informing them that their posture is "revealing" only be prepared for them to "kill the messenger".

Oh- and don't let that stop you from wearing dresses. I live in them during summer and I do NOT flash the world. giggle.

Anonymous

Have you ever had the misfortune of seeing yourself sitting in the hairstylists's chair and facing a full-length mirror? Possible the single LEAST flattering sights ever. Cured me of the notion that sitting in a dress that doesn't cover your knees is ok. And who wears a skort to work? And to a professional meeting ? Yuck.

Toban

Veteran

Yikes! That's bad form and hopefully unusual. I have never seen this at work, but if I did, I wouldn't hesitate to try to pull aside the individual for a private comment -- although I'd be mortified to both give and receive this comment, I feel letting it be unsaid is worse. I wear skirts and dresses at work all the time, often with slip shorts which gives even more modesty. Knees together or crossed when sitting. And work skirts no shorter than just above the knee. But don't let this make you hesitate to wear skirts and dresses to work -- the majority of us successfully and regularly wear them to work, modestly.

Joyce B

Veteran

Sterling, I agree that it would be difficult to tell them.

delurked

Veteran

This only solidifies my decision toward longer skirts. It’s one thing to accidentally flash a peek wearing a short dress going out to the club (not that I’ve been to a club recently, but still ). It’s another to be in a work or casual situation and do this. Happy again I’ve been moving to longer skirts.

Echo

Veteran

I remember my mum instructing me over and over and over again to sit with my legs crossed and to always have my knees together when wearing a dress. I tell my daughter the same. Skirts or dresses with moderate volume and past the knee are a necessity for me now, as I often have to squat near a student to help with something. But what a shame that no one taught these women how to properly behave while wearing a skirt.

And I agree that I would not say anything to them unless I were in a direct supervisory position. People do not react well to embarrassing situations, and will definitely "kill the messenger."

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I find myself sitting with my knees pressed together or my legs crossed even in midi or maxi lengths. But I also am careful to keep wrap skirts closed over my knees too. I think I have been aware of this ever since childhood, even though I don’t specifically remember being taught these things. My mom was quite modest. But even in the era of teeny micro mini skirts, when my sister was a teen, I don’t remember her sitting in a way that showed her underwear. So I think this is all due to how one sits. I just find it rather unbelievable that some people are so oblivious. (And that goes for the men who let their business air out in loose shorts too.) I have so much secondhand embarrassment in situations like that, I would be terribly distracted.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I actually feel sorry for the woman in the white dress. From what you say about her, I think it must have been a difficult meeting for her and that she would be horrified if she realised she was showing her white undies. But I may be projecting.

Mel

I sometimes wonder if the women who flash underwear are really even concerned about it. The other day I was with several "modestly dressed" women and yet I could see the bras of nearly all of them: bra straps peeking out here and there, slightly sheer blouses with bras visible beneath, low-back dresses exposing bras, thin and clingy blouses showing clear outlines of bras, etc.
Bra visibility has become so common that it doesn't surprise me that underwear could be next on the list.

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