I think many of us are so used to wearing jeans or trousers that we HAVE forgotten how to sit/move modestly in a dress. I usually wear slipshorts under mine to prevent chafing, but I guess they serve a dual purpose.

I dunno, to me bra straps are one thing (I caught my own strap slipping into view with the shirt I’m wearing today a few times) but visible underwear is a whole other thing. If my bra strap weren’t there, you’d see shoulder. But if that underwear weren’t there...

This was a Miss Manners advice column topic recently. https://www.uexpress.com/miss-.....ng-posture

I am in two minds here - I do think it is inappropriate/not ideal to be flashing underwear in a work setting. Mostly from the perspective is that it makes it really uncomfortable for others - and is distracting in a very awkward way.

I also agree with Jenni that she may have been totally oblivious in an uncomfortable situation. I don't think there is that degree of understanding about "decorum" and boundaries are so vague now it can be hard to know.

Aside - one of the most uncomfortable work situations I had to address was a complaint about BO - I handled it to the best of my ability (I was a temporary recruitment consultant- the employee was working for us at a client's site - they wanted to keep her but wanted me to address the issue). She asked to immediately leave the client and did not temp for us again. I was in my mid 20s at the time and now I wonder if I was naive to expect her to keep working with that client.

I wonder if it’s a generational shift, STERLING. I was raised wearing slips under skirts and dresses. I think my mother would have died of shame before revealing the silhouette of her upper thighs under a skirt. I have the same self consciousness, but I see lots of young (20’s and 30’s) women wearing dresses and skirts obviously without slips.

A couple weeks ago, I stopped for a red light downtown. Sitting in a very un-ladylike position on a bench was a middle-aged woman who was wearing a skirt and no underwear!!! I’m afraid that was more than a generational shift.

Mel's point about bra straps causes me some consternation. I personally would prefer to never show my bra straps in a work setting, but I lost some weight and the necklines of my tops now seem to slip around on my body.

The bra straps are properly hidden when I face myself in the mirror every morning, but sometimes while slumped in a chair at the office, I'll notice my bra strap is showing. I have to assume this happens more often than I realize.

I intend to replace all those tops ... in time. Not yet though, too expensive. I'm making due .... but I am taking notes about necklines. Although I adore boatnecks and U-shaped necklines, evidently they do not love me back. I have bought few new tops in 2018 because I am still trying to get a sense of what works for me right now. I am leaning heavily toward crewnecks and button downs. Weight loss has suddenly made button downs really desirable again. No gaps. They feel so right.

Sigh. Visible bra straps are not my best look.

Everyone ... Make a point of reading Janet's comment above. It made me smile on a pretty stress-ridden day.

This happens a lot! Too clingy, too short dresses and sleeveless tops where the sleeves are angled in are terrible to manage at work. I think most people are just oblivious. I am ok with knees, upper arms and collar bones but cleavage and upper thighs are too rad for my workplace.

ETA: I am a big fan of fashion tape for slippery bra straps. I stick it to my skin and to the top.

Once upon a time, we wore slips. They occasionally slipped down and were visible below the hem of a skirt. In those days, it was considered polite/helpful to quietly tell the wearer about it. That’s how I’d handle incidents like the work meeting.

A secretary once told our boss that a reason she didn’t want to do things for me was that when I put my feet up to read while wearing a certain coulotte wrap-around thingy, it fell open and revealed my thigh. I told him and her what I said above, and requested quiet notification if something like that happened again, if there was a hole in my pants, etc.

A bit of Fashion Tape will prevent your bra or bra straps from showing and wrap skirts and dresses from flying open.

Thanks for the fashion tape tip! I think I'll try it for my button down v necks: I usually close the gap with a safety pin so I'm not flashing cleavage, but the safety pins put a lot of holes in the fabric after a while. Maybe fashion tape will be gentler on the fabric.

Janet, I guess what I would compare the no-undie situation to would be the no-bra situation. Some women feel comfortable without a bra, but it can be very uncomfortable for the people around them...
My concern with bras and undies showing is that bras and undies have a pretty specific purpose, and since our thoughts are so associative, one image leads to another....so I'd rather not expose underclothing intentionally, and do all I can to prevent accidental exposure. And from what I've heard from my male friends, their thoughts are even more associative. Now, everyone is responsible for their own thoughts, but if I can "help" my friends focus on "me" and not something else while we have a conversation, I would be glad to do it. Clothing is also a language!

Today learned that this must be intentional, at least sometimes. At Bahama Breeze, i saw three women in different parties wearing different versions of the basic idea: a floaty, printed, mesh-like overlay and lining about as long as a tunic. They had slits, so the back floated up to slightly above their knees in the breeze or when they walked. Looked perfectly normal & pretty on two of them. I couldn’t tell exactly where the linings of their dresses ended. The third woman’s dress had a lot of black & red in the overlay, with a black liner that ended just above the bottom curves of her buttcheeks. That was easily apparent, as her skin was a very different shade than the black thong she had on.

No way do I think it was unintentional. It all matched far too well for that.