Fascinating discussion. I agree with Echo that a lot of the response to the issue of looks is that women are tired of being judged on looks before anything else.
But let's step back a moment. To Krishnidoux's point, who is really doing the judging, and why are we listening to them? The celebrity-obsessed media? We're buying into something just by arguing with them and spending effort on this, and in the process, I sometimes wonder if we're sabotaging our efforts to be taken seriously.
That said, the next time I see someone covering politics talking about how Hilary Clinton looks, I'm going to want to see an equal amount of time spent discussing the looks of her male colleagues.
But I'm also going to confess here that what I look like IS part of what and who I am. For better or for worse, we humans make snap judgments of other humans. How I groom and dress and style myself does reflect something of my inner life, otherwise I wouldn't be here on a style forum.
I don't really know (and I try not to care so much) where I fall on the global "attractiveness" spectrum, but I do know that heredity was pretty kind to me, all things considered. This is true with other traits of mine that have nothing to do with looks -- I'm healthy, I have some degree of natural intelligence that I was born with, and other abilities that came naturally to me. Some abilities I've had to work on to develop into full-blown talents (developing my natural creative and observational talents into a photography practice, developing a natural speaking voice into a broadcasting career), and others I have to be content to say, well, at least I can do it (developing my natural physical ability for endurance, rather than speed, so I can complete running and cycling events, but I'll never win them).
I view looks the same way. There are some traits I was born with, and I'll try to make the best of them. There are other traits I have never had and never will have, and oh well. I have been trying very hard to stop judging myself for not having something that it's impossible to develop! That means not judging others as well.
Great discussion, all. Thanks for starting this, Shevia.