Do some of you not trust your style instincts? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do some of you not trust your style instincts?

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

This was inspired by Pil's recent query about the Brooks Brothers trench (which I think looks fabulous on her).
It seems to me that some of you are really unsure on how things look on you. For me I'm pretty decisive in my fashion and only really swayed by others when I'm having a bad day. I'm not trying to judge but am genuinely curious,

General

45 replies

Latest reply was from Sara L.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I feel I am generally confident, but I try to get a YLF opinion when I feel I'm too emotionally invested to be objective.

Anonymous

I am pretty confident and don't often post K/Rs because I usually decide right away if I like something or not. On the ones I have posted, it's more just to seek opinions (although if you all hated that trench I still probably would have kept it, assuming the comments weren't that it was too big or too small) or have another set of eyes.

I think there are a lot of reasons why people post K/R threads, and perhaps it isn't all because one is unsure of their style?

Anonymous

And by K/R, I think the "Should I get" posts fall into that category too.

pil

Veteran

Hellooo? Actually, pre YLF the trench would have been a definite keeper. I think since becoming a part of the forum I've become more discerning and am still unsure of and seeking better fit and proportion.

Glory

Veteran

I am very unsure about my style, what looks good etc. Even when I think I have a keeper I usually become unsure at some point, especially if I take a photo. I think this is because I haven't sorted out my body type or style yet.

Peri

Veteran

Blush...raising hand.

Except I do feel pretty sure what looks good on me and what doesn't, flattery wise. What I don't trust is whether something I like looks dated or frumpy since what I like is so far from current trends. And not being able to find things I like in stores...money to spend and few things I want to bother spending it on...it makes me question my own taste.

I also question my ability to put outfits together in creative ways like so many of you do, like buying one top and wearing it ten different ways. I question finding "my style" and how to put elements together.

So flattery, I trust myself. Creating a look, I don't.

But, sometimes I think people post pictures just because its fun. I've only done it once, but it did make me feel more a part of the community.

Anonymous

That has been a journey for me. I trust my style instincts now SO much more than I did a year ago. I was posting things thinking they looked kind of ugly or ridiculous on me, but figured I'd wear them if they were on trend or made me seem more youthful. Kind of like, what do I know about fashion? I'll do what they tell me. Now, I still don't know that much about fashion, but I know what I like, and that's what I want my style to be. I can finally 'own it', because it belongs to me. Great topic Anna!

Anonymous

I'm not confident at all to trust my style instincts, which is why posting photos and your comments are so helpful. DH would have me in short shorts and mini skirts :D. but that's not going to happen.

Kim

Veteran

I think some of us haven't been "doing" fashion long enough to trust our own instincts yet. I've only been interested in fashion for the past 3 years and before that I didn't think I'd ever "crack" the code for how to dress well without a lot of effort and money, so I simply bought what fit and I liked. No thought to alterations, co-ordinating with my other clothes or whether or not this was for my fantasy life...(All things I think about now when buying and it has saved me a ton of money and time!)

I feel more like I've got it now, I've identified my own style and buy accordingly. I never post a K/R because I'm confident I'm hitting the style notes I'm after and that I am good with fit. I'm in a good place now, and I'm only 51!! LOL

So, a few of us are later to the party but we are relying on those of you who weren't to be honest and help us crack the code.

Anonymous

I've had a couple of blips but generally I'm not too bad at trusting my instincts. I never do K/R as I prefer to make my own mind up. I sometimes ask for styling advice though.

kkards

Veteran

It's not really my instincts I don't trust. It's something more intangible that I am reaching out for. As I have aged, I feel that my radar for trendiness has dimmed. in addition, my confidence in my ability to experiment has faltered. I'm looking for encouragement, and help that I'm heading down the right path.

Anonymous

In my case, I would not call it "sure about my style". I am just very stubborn, in general. I wear what I want and that's that. My K/Rs are usually prompted by either unfamiliarity with an item or how it should fit. This is probably my worst trait overall. I am too stubborn.

rachylou

Veteran

That's an interesting question. I enjoy input, fashion challenges. I'm also a nut and have to feel out a bit how much others can take (I'm a nut, not a rebel). Then there's the flip side of being a nut - doing conservative/conventional depressingly badly. This usually requires some sort of rescue effort. Finally, I seem to have fashion meltdowns on a fairly regular basis. I forget what I'm about and end up wearing half-outfits... at the same time.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I'm hit and miss when it comes to trusting my take on an item for me. Some things I know right away when I try it on that it's a keeper and those I don't post K/R threads on. And other things, I am less sure about and appreciate feedback. I find I'm more unsure of items that are a new silhouette or trend for me.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I always trust my own instincts, but I also like hanging out with the girls and seeing what they think.

amiable

Veteran

I'm still developing instincts, and trust you all to help me develop them. What I have now is pretty abysmal, but is hundreds of times more than I had when I joined several months ago.

Diana

Veteran

I'm like Rae, I mostly trust my instincts but I can get too emotionally attached (or fixated on some tiny bad thing that nobody else notices) so it's nice to get other viewpoints sometimes. I definitely don't do K/R on the majority of my purchases.

I also sometimes take photos of something because I find it informative on occasion to see things in photos rather than in the mirror. They (mirror and camera) seem to distort in different ways. Anyway, once I have the photos it's pretty easy to just post them to see what you all think. Besides, like IK says, it's fun to hang out virtually with you guys (especially since I rarely shop IRL with friends).

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I'm with IK! I also find that I need a trusted second opinion when I'm trying something trendy that I've never really tried on before. But at this point, I have a pretty good idea what most "classic" pieces and details will work for me and what won't.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Shannon said. For some items that are indisputably good and fit my style persona, I have no question whatsoever. And I usually won't post a K/R thread on those, unless it is a question similar to some of your "is this worth it" questions --- you know....wondering if the expense sort of balances the aesthetic value in some way. As in , I love this, but am I crazy to spend this much money on it given my budget, or is it reasonable under the circumstances. That kind of thing.

There are other items that I feel less sure about, and I definitely love getting input on those. It might be fit, or colour or who knows what. Also, as Diana said, I like to take the photos and see the photos, because they tell me something different than the mirror.

And then the forum opinions also help.

Krista

Veteran

I rarely do K/R's because I'm extremely picky about what I wear and I have my own "rules" about things so when I find stuff that matches all of my criteria, I know it and keep what I have without asking anyone; but that doesn't mean I wouldn't or do not value the opinions of the forum. I actually get quite overwhelmed with a lot of input so it's easier for me personally to work it through on my own. It's also one of the reasons I prefer to shop by myself.

I really enjoy people's K/R's though because I learn from everyone's feedback and enjoy the discussions that take place. Even though I am usually confident about works for me, I still have lots to learn about current style and trends so I always appreciate the discussion!

rachylou

Veteran

Oh I had another thought: I still have to post a pic of the ankle boots I got with a skirt. This is a case of "can I get away with this?" They're comfy but wide at the ankle - i.e., they are of the flowerpot variety which makes me feel a bit icky. But then again, they were designed to be that way. I don't know what to think.

My inner Kate Middleton says: Maybe not.
My nutty self says: Who cares? The boots are fun.
My inner fashion victim says: Everyone else is doing it!
My scoffing self says: If everybody jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge yada yada yada...

Mo

(website)

Veteran

That's an interesting question, and I relate to a lot of the answers so far. By and large, I know what I like. But . . . sometimes I am not sure. The recent maxi dress saga, my own trench I'm not sure I should keep or purge. When things are outside my comfort zone, I become less sure. Or, if I have been obsessing I tend to lose perspective and need the collective view to bring me back to reality.

Debbie

Veteran

My answer may or may not make sense. Most days I trust my own instincts. If my life is hectic or I am feeling down. Not so much. Then it helps to get another opinion. Also when posting I get valuable advice that I may not of thought of. Like try this jacket or that pair of shoes. Add a necklace ect...
To me it is a valuable learning experience.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Ditto Sharon and IK! I am getting better and learning more about what looks good on me and fits with my style, but I still have a lot to learn from all of you! Plus it's fun to shop with the gals!

I tend to post a lot of K/Rs. Sometimes I want feedback and am unsure of an item. I usually have a feeling one way or the other which way I am leaning, but like the confirmation and sometimes you guys spot things I didn't see or sway my opinion. I have kept things that you loved that I was unsure of (such as the fish top), but have also sometimes returned something that Angie said looked killer, because I wasn't feeling fab in it.

Sometimes K/Rs also can serve as a "first look". Like if I'm excited to get something I might post a quick K/R before I have time to style it. I also tend to post K/R's on YLF favorite items so that others can see how it fits on multiple people (for example the Brooks Brothers trench K/R's have been very informative and I love seeing it on so many others). I learn a lot from the comments on other people's K/Rs. And of course, sometimes I get suckered into buying stuff that looks great on others (though it doesn't always work out for me).

Marley

Veteran

I trust my instincts most of the time. When I waver, it usually has to do with a new silhouette and I'm not sure of the size that I should get. I also like to get feedback regarding if I should or should not get something based on what I already have in my wardrobe. For example, I may really want to buy something that I've fallen in love with, but I need to be reminded that I already have a similar item in my closet (that I also love)j which fills that wardrobe hole. That being said, I haven't posted any pics for a long, long time! No available camera so, I usually have to rely on my instincts - or, count on Vicki or Rae to give me feedback (when the two or three of us are together!) I love the way YLFers share their pics on the forum regarding K/R - it makes me feel like I'm in the dressing room with them - its just fun!

Anonymous

I don't shop very often and I don't have a lot of money to spend. I get sized out a lot in stores. I have been told I dress matronly sometimes, but if I dress too trendy/youthful I literally look like I'm 12 years old.

I doubt my instincts sometimes because I get so excited about something that fits finally and looks kinda, sorta like my style. I then come to my senses and return the item. And then I regret it because GAH what if I can't find something that fits again and so on.

But I do think when I don't have the 'omg nothing fits! No wait one thing does!' freak out, I can clearly pick something.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Mostly I trust my instincts, but I have been trying to break out of old ruts since joining YLF so I have tried a lot of things I never would have tried before. I never really took pictures of myself in outfits before I came here, so I'm still getting a handle on how things look on me. I don't always trust my eye because usually I feel like I'm still 25 and 120 lbs. and should still *look* 25, but then find a disconnect when I look in the mirror and see a very average middle-aged woman. I want to be more adventurous but have a hard time finding the balance of what I can get away with. Somehow things that look fantastic on fashion bloggers look ridculous on me.

So yeah, sometimes I put things out here to test the waters and see if I'm way off base or not. Usually when I'm feeling a bit more iffy in general. Sometimes I just fall in love with something different and go for it and you all never even see it.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I trust my instincts but like to get feedback too. Different eyes see things & that's always interesting. I like to hang out too

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I worry my spidey sense isn't fully atuned yet - I think I still rely pretty heavily on feedback!

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