"Do not mess with me" dressing :)

Anonymous

Inspired by Lisa's shirtdress! What do you wear that's your "stick to the point and don't give me any drama" outfit? Thinking I want to create a capsule
#customerserviceisTheWorst

3 years ago

Dressing

79 replies

Latest reply was from JAileen

Anonymous

I'm really more of a "run, run, run away.." person but having seen Lisap's outfit if I had a formula it would be strong color, neat and complete grooming including makeup, and decisive accessories, no wafting anything.

3 years ago

Anonymous

Good points! I've been consciously moving away from things that are "loosy goosy"- but been lazier about the makeup and jewelry. I do have the things I wear for networking and presentations- LBDs mostly.

Running away isn't an option! I'm The One for my program in my counties :/ I have been known to tell people to go out of my office though! And I've had to warn people against doing fraud...good times...

3 years ago

Windchime

Veteran

I’m smiling at the thought of a “Do not mess with me” capsule. Everyone occasionally needs such an outfit! If it’s for work, I’ll wear a skirt or dress with a very “professional” vibe; nothing that even hints at cute, sexy, or artsy. Same for not-at-work, only it will be a jeans or pants outfit rather than a dress/skirt.

3 years ago

Anonymous

Wasn't even thinking of an off work version, though there were definitely drama kings and queens in my personal life in the past! Too old to deal with that schizzz now!

3 years ago

Sal

Veteran

For my work the below outfit fits the bill especially when dealing with the workshop, other aviation companies in our area etc.

However I have attended stressful contract meetings in my pink sweater or a floral blouse as well.

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3 years ago

Anonymous

A blazer / suit look or this dress And formal / serious jewellery .

3 years ago

Anonymous

It’s interesting : I actually feel more competent and in control of things , and respect myself more when I’m dressed right up for work ( even though I don’t need to be ) .

3 years ago

gryffin

Veteran

A power suit. My veronica beard scuba jacket, pants, but feminine lace cami. Also my EF coax booties, old so no find. They are platform booties, like flamenco booties. They are powerful. I am all powerful in those booties - if you've watched the movie "Strictly Ballroom" you'd understand. It's all about the jackets and the boots!! That does it for me! My coach drifter of course. Although if it's evening I might change out the bag.

Nordstrom

Veronica Beard Scuba Jacket

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Nordstrom

Veronica Beard Back Zip Scuba Pants

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Amazon

Arianne Women's Victoria Camisole

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Amazon

COACH Womens Mixed Leather Drifter Top-Handle

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3 years ago

CarolS

Veteran

What a great question! With WFH I channel "don't mess with me" in just about any old schmatta.

Back in the day it might have been a dark suit, or black jacket over a turtleneck with a smart pair of trousers with pointy toed boots. Pointy toed boots were a big part of feeling like I was ready to kick *ss.

I don't know what I'd pull out to fill that function at work today. It might be a monochromatic look of black turtleneck, my black BR wide-leg ponte knit pants and a long black cardi. For anyone who followed my fall shopping post a few days ago, imagine Bea Arthur as Maude sweeping into a room with her long vest billowing and everyone squirming under her withering gaze. Yeah. That.

ETA -- I don't wear pointy toes any more, so I might be barefoot in this scenario!

3 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. On the street it’s my version of a great coat - the long puffy or my olive summer weight coat. For the doctor’s, it’s a blazer. I note that these things aren’t necessarily serious or conventional. The blazer I wore today was baby blue and the olive coat has ruffles. It’s all about connotations. You know, in the movies your cape goes over your light saber and people with blazers also always have lawyers…

3 years ago

Sloper

Veteran

No frills or furbelows (great word!) for me!
Structured black and grey usually works.

Unfortunately, I also have resting b****h face - I think I sometimes scare people no matter what I wear.

3 years ago

slim cat

Veteran

Black leather jacket with silver jewelry ( something fun - dragons ).

3 years ago

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

My don't mess with me capsule is a collection of glares, stares and eyebrow lifts that I have been perfecting over the decades.

3 years ago

nuancedream

Veteran

Like Sloper, I have RBF too. In my early career, I used to wear a black skirt suit with a black shirt, black hose and of course, black pointy toe, b**** heels when I had to meet with a difficult client or attorney. I looked like a tall grim reaper. All I needed was a scythe as an accessory. Maybe by dressing that way I was trying give myself some confidence, but it was a very intimidating look. Those days are long gone, thankfully. Now, I would wear a softer, monochromatic look but I might add some accessories like a leather cuff or spiky necklace for a touch of bad@**

3 years ago

Echo

Veteran

Ha! Shevia has it right; nothing beats the "teacher look."
I typically wear lots of black with hardware accents and lots of boots, so despite me wearing a lot of dresses, most of my wardrobe channels the "don't mess with me" vibe. "The look" with the proper eyebrow expression can silence a room in no time.

3 years ago

Joy

Veteran

Put on a teacher face, the one that can freeze a smirky kid from the back of the room. I feel like lightning flashes from my eyes. A stern no nonsense hairdo and black leather help. I like a black moto jacket and black stompy boots. Look like a grown up and are in control.
I’m told that if you wear bright colors, you will stand out. That’s good advice.

3 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

Dress like a Black Panther minus the beret: Black leather jacket, black pants/jeans, and stompy combat boots, not to mention RBF. My Chinatown look. Oh, and I skip the purse and just stuff the essentials in my pockets.

3 years ago

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Pointy shoes, big earrings, and clothes that won’t show dirt or sweat.

3 years ago

Synne

Veteran

Great question! This is quite the philosophical topic. My idea of "not to be messed with" is contrary to some other replies, not confrontational or tough. (I could never last long if it ever came to a showdown anyways!).
My version of a "don't mess with me" aka "leave me be" is something slightly preppy, neutral, dressed up. Something business casual, lol!

3 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Aw, I’m sorry people mess with you!

These probably won’t help with that, but are so your colors I had to show you.

https://www.desigual.com/en_US/21SWVN014008.html

https://www.desigual.com/de_DE/21SWPK134141.html

On the original question, pointy toes and all-black aren’t me, would probably make me feel uncomfortable.

Not to take too dark a turn, but my son and I were recently discussing the huge percentage of women who have been raped and how I’ve escaped that, given the stuff that I do. We came to the conclusion that a lot of the advice about how to comport oneself—head up, not afraid to look people in the eye, big strides, etc—is just my natural way of moving in the world.

Maybe it works for other kinds of @$$-holery too. Really, the only people I have problems with are the “mean girls” who roll their eyes when I don’t know about the latest whatever, and then get agitated if I ask. But I’m not about to dress to suit them.

3 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I do plan outfits specifically when I am going to be dealing with landlords or leasing agents or just really want to be taken seriously for whatever reason. I will wear either an outfit I have that is all shades of olive green, or black/brown. I feel like these somber shades read more serious and I always feel more in control with a touch of black somewhere, even when dressed more casually.

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3 years ago

Preppy Pear

Veteran

This thread makes me keep thinking of Joan Crawford in “Mommie Dearest” at the Pepsi board meeting, lol. Definitely more tailored silhouettes and dressier shoes when going in to battle.

3 years ago

Anonymous

Thanks for the laughs all

In this context "messing with me" are the people who: think the laws do not apply/ lie/withhold info, talk my ear off nonstop/conduct themselves chaotically, get "too friendy", blame everyone else for everything that's gone wrong in life, wait til the last minute and have an "emergency," ...stuff like that. Basically the times I have to be a beaurocrat :/ Definitely not my forte- but I have a mortgage...Usually no threat of physical violence- though not unheard of in that office. TBH taking down an attacker would take less out of me than an hour with a chatterbox. I'm very well trained for that
Luckily there have only been a few real doozies over the years- but it was timely!

3 years ago

kkards

Veteran

Mostly i just put on my RBF (resting b**** face)…

3 years ago

Anonymous

Not sure if I have RBF! Not sure I can pass for Grim Reaper either! I did like the dragon idea though
*moves furniture in cubicle to accommodate the uhh...therapy dragon*
*rents out said dragon to officemates as needed*

3 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Glad you aren’t in physical danger. I think the things that spare me from that, say when I walk across town after dark or live in an area guidebooks say not to go, also block a lot of the other BS as well. So when I smile & am friendly, I think people are … relieved.

3 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

If I bring along Supersam and Wonder Jo, I can kick arse in anything.

3 years ago

Tanya

Veteran

I am with Gryffin -the right jacket/suit in a dark neutral, and the right shoes. After a lot of thinking, I splurged recently on a pair of booties with a primary purpose to add edge to work outfits, but they can work for this as well (below).

Nordstrom

Alexander Wang Lane Square Toe Bootie

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3 years ago

nemosmom

Veteran

"taking down an attacker would take less out of me than an hour with a chatterbox."

*spits coffee on keyboard* YES! High five!

I have pieces I consider my armor I will wear if I feel like I need extra protection - usually emotional - but I don't know that those pieces really say anything...

3 years ago

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