"You look witchy" and other comments - YouLookFab Forum

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"You look witchy" and other comments

Jonesy

Veteran

Yesterday something happened before class started that I just had to share. A student noticed my new haircut, then told me I looked like I could teach at Hogwarts (the magical boarding school Harry Potter and company attend).

Me: Where are you going with this? (with a smile)
Student: You know, you have the hair, and the glasses....
Me: So you think I look sort of witchy?
Student: Yeah.
Me: Well I do love me some Hogwarts! (with a laugh)

Was it my almost-all black outfit? My witchy attitude :)?

Another time, long ago, a young teenager I was working with at my internship told me I looked like a "gypsy." I was wearing a very boho look (lots of bracelets, a scarf in my hair, etc.) and it was a very out-of-the-ordinary look for the context (small town, mid-'80s).

Do you ever get these sorts of comments? How do you feel about them? I tend to find these types of comments amusing, and chalk it up to my overall look appearing odd/eccentric to them, so they tend to think of me as a character of some sort.

General

43 replies

Latest reply was from Sally

rute

Veteran

Thos are stupid comments of people who don't know nothing about fashion! Some one told me that I was dressed as a bear when I was wearing my faux fur vest.. I laugh and went away.. that doesn't bother me!

Queen Mum

Veteran

I think when those comments come from children or students it's sweet. You are obviously an approachable, hip, and like-able professor. I would take it as a compliment that your student felt connected enough to tease you like that.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh goodness. Am I very old fashioned?? I went to a strict schooling system and university was also quite formal. I cannot appreciate comments like this. It's too familiar and not respectful. I cannot imagine any student saying that to any teacher or professor without it appearing rude.But that's my formal upbringing I guess!!

How old are these students, Jonesy? I hope that you are okay, Jonesy. Know that you DO NOT look like a stereotypical witch! You are gorgeous! I do love Hogwarts though

kellygirl

Veteran

I think it's kind of funny. Mind you, you look nothing like anything out of Hogwarts. I think your style is immaculate with "arty" tendencies--Kim sums it up well with "hip and approachable." Perhaps your student was giving you a compliment and expressing appreciation of your sense of style?

ETA:To answer your question, I was once told (by an adult male) that I looked like a Japanese anime character. I had no clue what this person was talking about but I guess when I wear my MizMooz Ambers, I look like I could kick some butt. I laughed and told him to watch out.

bella

(website)

Veteran

Angie's comment reminds me: I lead workshops for international TAs, where I explain them about the campus culture in the US. This is precisely one of the things that I tell them not to be offended by - that US academic culture is much more casual compared to rest of the world. We need to explain international TAs that students are not necessarily being insubordinate, rude or undermining their authority when they behave in ways that would be considered rude, etc. in other cultures.

Jonesy

Veteran

Rute: the bear comment is classic--like you were wearing a costume of some sort! I think sometimes people just don't know how to categorize something that is very far removed from their reality, so they come up with something like that (and then they blurt it out!).

QM and Kellygirl: yes, I think she meant it as a compliment, certainly. This is the same student who complimented me on a pair of shoes I was wearing earlier in the year.

Angie: you are too kind--I didn't feel put-out by the comment at all! I felt a mix of things: I thought it was kind of funny, wondered about this student's lack of a "filter," and felt a teeny bit startled at the witchy image. These are grad students, so people in their mid-twenties and older (sometimes older than me). I had this student last semester too, so I think she feels extra-familiar with me, or something like that. I do appreciate your perspective; I try to balance warmth with authority, which can be tricky. In the classroom, I am informal in some ways, formal in others.

Do any of you get these sorts of comments? It's funny to me how "daring" or "eccentric" is really context-specific. My clothes aren't that weird at all to me, but maybe relative to other social science profs in the Midwest that students have come into contact with they are a bit unusual :).

ETA: yes, exactly Bella. There is a definite "casualization" going on in the classroom, right along with the same trend in fashion/self-presentation that Angie has blogged about (and we have all weighed in on).

crwilson

Veteran

Bella - I was thinking of that exact thing - I remember teaching that in the international TA orientation. Jonesy - I just think it means that your students have a certain comfort-level with you, and that's not necessarily bad. I'm kind of used to students saying random things, so I mostly just ignore it. One of my students recently observed that I've apparently worn some form of blue or purple every single day of class throughout this quarter. I wasn't sure quite what to think, except that I thought it was a bit strange that he was paying such close attention to my wardrobe.

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

People can make the most curious comments! I suspect that you dress in a way that your student likes but is unfamiliar to her. The brain makes funny connections!

I used to get comments like that sometimes but not recently. I don't appear "dressed" in public much where I have a lot of contact with people who are familiar enough TO comment but not close friends. The last time I did get a funny one, it was a 19 year old telling me that she thought it was cute that I "dressed like a kid". I decided to take this as meaning I was on trend rather than mutton dressed as lamb. (I was probably 36 or 37 at the time.)

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Oh yes- my neighbor told me recently that I have "such a DIFFERENT style!"
I don't think about it most of the time, but in my neighborhood I do stand out, I guess. I just assume it's meant as a compliment and take it as that. I've had some odd comments since I moved to this community, for sure.

Tricia

Veteran

I get these comments all the time! I do stand out at work (not in a bad way, just different) and especially since I started wearing berets a lot, I get teased about it in a good-natured way. My closest office friends are all in the design department, so they get the arty thing and appreciate it. The art director calls me "Shoes" and when I wear a hat my next-door-office-neighbor calls me "Bonnie."

I don't mind it, since it's clearly in fun.

lpr200

Veteran

I teach residents and when I first started I dressed way more formally to be the "authority". I'm much more relaxed now. If I get a compliment or comment, I take it as I'm more approachable, and a person as opposed to an authority figure- I think we learn best from people we like and admire.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I wore a leather vest to work yesterday, and someone said I looked like a biker, just come in off my Harley. Thing is, the vest was brown, with very little hardware, worn with a calf-length skirt. I wore red/brown once, and the same person said I looked "like Christmas." Both comments were pretty confusing to me, but I wrote it off as narrow associations on their part.

Diana

Veteran

Every time I wear my emerald green shirt dress, one of my co-workers says something like "oh, I didn't know it was saint patrick's day." I think he thinks it's funny.

Ljubica

I am sensitive to inappropriate comments, even when I know for sure that they don't mean anything.
When they come from kids, I take them more lightly, because children make that sort of remarks during classes when they are bored and distracted, just to amuse themselves.

But when it comes from grown-ups, I'm much less forgiving. I never comment on people's looks unless I can make an honest compliment, and I expect the same from other people, unless they are my close friends and family.

And, very honestly, you are beautiful, your style is very attractive, and there's nothing even remotely witchy in your appearance.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I would agree that sometimes people who have a narrow field of experience often make odd associations when confronted by something they are not familiar with. when I get comments in this vein I feel pleased to have helped expand the person's horizons. LOL...

Patty

Veteran

Witches are cool and hot at the same time these days!

Bluebell

I'm way too sensitive and think you took it with awesome humour and good spirit and I have learnt from that lol! I'm sure you looked very beautiful and not at all witchy... though I bet being a bit witchy would be pretty darn cool *ponders*....;o) You could cast spells on your class and everything!

Haha re: the bear comment... I am now re-evaluating my own comments as I told my husband he resembled a bear because he has a lot of body hair *giggles and wonders if my filter needs to go in for repair*...

I don't get comments in that way however I do get strangers ask me what I've done (I use crutches and a chair). When I tell them it's permanent they gasp and say "but you can't be disabled!!? You are far too stylish!". I've never been sure whether to take that as a compliment or just be plain shocked!

Deb

Last summer I wore new platform sandals (*love*) with skinnies to a Book Club meeting. Several of the women went out of their way to come over - as a group, mind you - and comment about them in a negative way, as in "Oh, I would never wear something like that!" and "Can you *walk* in those things?" and "I will never wear shoes that aren't comfortable!"

I simply responded that neither would I ever wear shoes that were uncomfortable or that I couldn't walk in - and the sandals were easy to walk in and comfy as hell. Then I dashed my wine into their faces and hobbled away.

(*kidding*)

Bluebell

Oh Deb actually I get that... I still wear heels even though my body is knackered and sometimes people actually comment and say "you shouldn't be wearing those with bad legs, you should be making life easier for yourself!". When I started to use crutches and a chair 90% of the time I had to sell on all my really high heels and I was gutted. However now I realise I was an idiot as in my chair I can wear 20 inch heels if I want as I'll just be sitting lol! So I am now on the look out for some seriously sexy high heels for wheelchair outings ;o)

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I'm not sure it's in the same vain but when I return to my home town people comment that I look posh (associated with the upper classes) or have money, as I have been brought up with very working class principles and shop on an extremely tight budget I'm always a little confused by the comment but never offended.

Jonesy, Hogwarts would be a great place to teach, I'm glad you have enough confidence in your own style to brush the comment aside.

OT but I'm taking the kids to the castle used as the set for Hogwarts to have lunch in the treehouse and I'm far too excited. The castle was also used to film the first series of Blackadder
http://www.alnwickcastle.com/
http://www.alnwickgarden.com/e.....-treehouse

Jonesy

Veteran

Such fascinating comments! I love reading these. Some of this really does boil down to subjective interpretations of perceived difference or even incongruities (such as the anecdote you mention, Bluebell, about someone's faulty perception that a physical disability somehow cannot coexist with stylishness, or your comment, Julie, about how for some people, stylishness has to = money). Of course, someone can *think* one thing, but choose not to blurt it out! I really like the idea of expanding people's horizons a bit, as you state, Jenava!

One thing I really appreciate about YLF is the support for trying new things and being adventurous, while developing your own personal style that is true and genuine. Then we can all step into the "real world" which may not quite get what we are doing, and know that we "make sense" despite the sometimes wacky or downright rude feedback we receive.

Okay, I am absolutely jealous that you will be lunching at the castle, Julie! I am a devoted HP fan!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I got told I look like a witch once. It was many years back during my goth phase. I took it as a compliment of the highest order. That said you don't look like what I looked like that back then.

catgirl

Veteran

I know when I wear my Indian clothes I get a lot of assumptions, the biggest being that I don't speak English. And a friend of ours told me that because of my Indian outfits, he had expected me to be very meek and soft-spoken - HA!

catgirl

Veteran

And Bluebell, I love your revised approach to heels - I say go for it!

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Fascinating thread, Jonesy!!
I grew up in the more laid-back academic setting that Angie never experienced. I was on first-name basis with most profs, and when I ran into one of them a few weeks ago, I was greeted with a bear hug (which was warmly returned). Viewing Jonesy's encounter through that lens, I would be inclined to take it as a complement. A first-name basis is one thing, but discussions of personal style imply a whole other level of familiarity and comfort. The fact that she felt comfortable saying something like that suggests to me that she likes you a lot, assumed you'd take her remark the right way and appreciates your individuality.
Now, call it a double-standard, but something like Bluebell's experience raises my blood pressure. As a blind person, I encounter similar attitudes. People are sometimes astonished that I wear clothes that are clean and don't clash, so actual style is totally unexpected. Such thinking is based on such repulsive assumptions about disability that I try not to think about it if possible. Tacitly I've internalized their thinking, though, since I've made it my mission to dress to my standards rather than theirs. More power to your approach, Bluebell, rock those heels!
Julie: SO JEALOUS!!!! Love Harry Potter too. Have a great time!

Jonesy

Veteran

Michelle, I absolutely agree: comments that are rooted in prejudice or negative stereotypes about groups of people (related to, for example, ablement, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity) can certainly be distinguished from kooky, well-meaning ones, and judged more harshly, IMO.

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Oh, Julie, that is SO COOL! I'm a complete and utter Black Adder fan as well as enjoying HP quite a bit. I did not know they were shot in the same castle! I'll have to go dig out my season 1 DVD and have a watch.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Julie, may I join you for tea?

This is a fascinating thread. Oh, how we are shaped by our surroundings.

Jonesy, you are a sport for sure! Kids in their 20's aren't kids anymore. I'm going to be stubborn here (I hope that's okay!) Despite the cultural differences - "kids" need to develop a filter, and that starts in school.

I had an experience with a very young sales assistant at Nordies a few weeks ago and I ended up calling his superior because he thought he was being "cute" - I thought he was being really rude. Again, no filter. I sound like such an old sour puss

Lisa

Veteran

I've been told I look "so dressed up" on a daily basis in my casual work environment. This cracks me up because I wear jeans very close to everyday which I do not consider dressy for work at all! It must be because I wear layers and have a love of blazers.

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