Cropped wide leg jeans. wiw 7/5/19 two ways (I have no idea what I'm doing anymore) - YouLookFab Forum

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Cropped wide leg jeans. wiw 7/5/19 two ways (I have no idea what I'm doing anymore)

Anonymous

I seem to have lost my sense of my own style. I think it has to do with not understanding how to dress my post-menopausal body.

Anyways, I saw these cropped wide leg jeans at the beginning of Spring, on a mannequin , and thought they were the cutest things ever. By the time I got around to actually wearing them, I've been struggling with them . There is absolutely nothing flattering about these jeans, which is a whole different topic , and trying to figure out how to wear them and feel ok has been challenging. They are SO comfortable and easy to wear - which is the irony and the conundrum.

Look 1 - citron top (cheap, and the fabric is bad , what is WRONG with me?) bought for the colour, to work with the two pair of shoes I have in this shade. Plus, I'm always attracted to a wedge shape for camouflage. The top is la little long- and I fussed with semi tucking, folding, blousing etc. I don't know. . I don't care for dainty, thin, ditzy jewellery and this piece made me feel really unstylish. Let's just say the following 2 hour period out and about were miserable.

Look 2 - the minute I got home I took off the citron top and tried this navy paisley print side tie blousy top. I like the fit and the comfort, and the colours are a bit different, which I like. It seems to do a better job of camouflaging my stomach than the citron one did - especially in profile (DEADLY in these jeans). Plain gold hoops, same sandals. Felt a lot better in this version.

Is one outfit much better than the other? Is there anything I can do to make these jeans look more "me"? Or do I chalk this one up to insanity and give them away? The whole issue of JFE is bothering me - I can't get away with JFE, it doesn't make me feel great.

jeans - JAG
citron top - Dex
navy print top - Melanie Lyne
sandals - Fly London
work tote - Kate Spade

Your honest opinions are more than welcome. Sorry - photos are in random order and I'm incapable of sorting them out here.

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Dressing

54 replies

Latest reply was from Jorja

Anonymous

Hi! I understand your emotions and I agree it might have something to do with learning to dress the "new normal." That said, I genuinely like these on you. Based on the pictures, they are very much better than JFE. I would keep them and experiment with them through the summer. IF you cannot make peace with them within 30 or 60 days, then donate them. Do not keep something in your closet that makes you miserable.

It is hard for me to see top detail to determine if one is better than the other. It does seem to me that you are adding volume on top of volume with both tops. Is it possible that is the problem? Do we have any other tops that are bit more fitted that might work?

Adore the shoes and the bag. I have never bought Kate Spade but have always been very interested in that line.

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, I'm not sure how informed I am, but I am really not seeing what you are seeing. To me, both these outfits are stylish, modern and flattering. Your figure looks curvy and feminine - I certainly don't see "short and heavy" here. I think you are way too hard on yourself ... But at the same time you need to feel good in what you have on, so whatever pieces are giving you grief, let them go (or tuck them away for another day).

nemosmom

Veteran

You may FEEL unstylish, but you really look fantastic! The darker top looks more elongating than the citron top, but I like how you bookended the shoes with the citron. I am not much help; I think you look great!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Oh Lisa I don’t understand the depth of your self-criticism. I am also a short woman with a thickened post-menopausal body. I fully know and realise that nothing looks on me like it does on a mannequin. Deep down I am mortified about my body and badly need my husband, who has in the past 6 months gone on a fitness and cycling jag and lost a heap of weight, to be kind. Which he generally is. Most of the time I try to forget about what I used to look like ( in relation to your 10 years ago feeling) and just enjoy the colours and fun of the clothes I’m choosing. There is so much that’s great about how you look here. The colour match is fabulous in the citron. The jeans look really trendy. Your haircut is sharp and your makeup beautifully done.
Over time, could it become that those good points, which everyone on the forum constantly says- this is a recurring theme- could somehow become enough? I am not sure but I am sad for you on how bad you seem to feel about your very attractive self

rachylou

Veteran

I have to say these outfits look great, you look great in them (citron untucked), but my second thought was this is not the style I associate with you. To me you are more... Blade Runner 2049 (its Corporate look not Street ) Edgy Polish... I’m thinking it’s the tops not the pants...

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Anonymous

Agree with RachyLou. I think it is the tops, not the pants.

LaPed

Veteran

I like the yellow top untucked best! Shame that it feels cheap. And the FL's are super. Both the tops and the sandals seem to represent a boho turn for you (like Rachy notes, not quite as urban/edgy as your usual). Is this a new direction, or maybe a seasonal/summer thing? I always find my summer style takes a bit of getting used to after months of layering/bundling.

KMM

Lisa I don’t at all mean to minimize your feelings about these outfits, but my reaction to the photos after reading your post was surprise, because I think you look fresh and on trend. As others have said, I don’t think I see what you’re seeing. You are lovely.
As for the clothes, the most important thing is that you feel confident and like yourself. Donate or put away for another day.

Anonymous

Jenny - thanks for the verbal smack on the head - I've edited out my whining and self-pity and tried to focus on the task at hand: how to style these god-d&*( jeans. I still see them as inherently unflattering - as they are on most women who aren't very thin and tall. Why I succumbed to this trend is another issue.

KMM - thank you for understanding a bout of misery for what it was. I've since edited out my garbage brain dump.

LaP - I do tend to go boho-ish in the summer. Camouflage of upper body ,ease of wear and a cool-feeling silhouette etc. Sandals are a comfort issue: Fly are uber cushy and give me the height I like without the discomfort of a heel. The citron top isn't quite as bad as I made it out to be - I think I was having an extremely bad day It's better with slim bottoms.

Rachy - Sterling - good point about it being about the tops and not the jeans . But I have no idea how to wear a fitted or more body-con top . None. I am not comfortable in them - and am not sure what the solution is other than NOT to buy bottoms with volume that require new tops?
nemosmom , Helena - thanks for the kind words You both have that body type that would wear these jeans well. Grrr.

Column

Veteran

Lisa,
I feel your pain; I just transitioned out of the twenty-year fashion era of tunics, skinnies and hip-huggers that did me no favors.

Now that high rises and corresponding tops are back in stores, I feel both lucky and like a fashion genius—even though the truth is that off-the-rack fits and flatters me again. What I learned from this is: DONT try to make trends work for you if they don`t! </p> <p>Maybe it is easier to change your fashion moniker for silhouettes you like rather than change silhouettes to fit your fashion moniker? Boho works. I also really, really see you as arty: Angie`s Artful Home post today offers a look. We have talked Me and Em, and OSKA is a real possibility.

That said, I like both outfits for all the reasons already stated. But if you do not feel fab, go for one outfit where you do and build from there.

Anonymous

Me again For as annoying as I can be on the forum with these kinds of posts, I do hope you know that they end up being very helpful and insightful - to me, anyways.

Rachy and LaP hit it on the head : these jeans and the two outfits do not project the kind of look I want everyday (work, social, or casual) , which is one of some degree of sophistication and edge. I'm veering off course, and this happens time and time again. Once again, a great example of the value of having a style goal or aspiration in mind when looking at new clothes and when putting together different outfits. Nothing wrong with the outfits, per se, but I really felt decidedly unfab in both of them. Not myself, and not confident. Carla knocks me over the head quite frequently about not using style monikers or ideas when I get stuck, and she is SO right.

Roxanna

Veteran

Honestly, as a fellow Fabbers who is hard on herself and insists on flattering proportions - I must say, I think these jeans look very flattering and current on you. The dark wash, the rise and the length really work on you. I honestly think they look great!

Both these tops look great on you in my opinion, though I do agree that the first one could be french tucked or bloused out in a way to give you more structure.

I can understand not wanting to go to knit tops, and I am with you on having given up on flimsy overly drapey t-shirts as they look sloppy. I think these tops are good alternatives. Also maybe a top that is more structured but not necessarily clingy might work well? Tailored on top? I'll give it some thought. But honestly - I think you look great. And your eyebrows are always so perfect! (I'm a sucker for great eyebrows)

kellygirl

Veteran

Just chiming in to day that I love these. The FL are awesome with those pants! Admittedly, these are totally my style though—more casual than what I’ve seen you normally post. Fun summer casual looks for sure!

missvee

Veteran

You may have inadvertently come up with your style moniker - Edgy Sophisticate. What do you think?

ophelia

Veteran

I like both tops on you, but you seem to absolutely glow in the blue print one worn with the hoop earrings. That to me looks sophisticated, and also very flattering, in both colors and style.

Carla

Veteran

Okay, Lisap - tall and thin is overrated and would never look as good as you do in these outfits. Yes - REALLY! These two looks remind me of the blogger you identified with a while back who had a very athletic background and was quite small and curvy. (Sorry. Can't remember her name.) These are perfect 'I'm out for tapas and a sparkling mock tail '. or running errands in an upscale kind of way look - while avoiding a 'ladies who lunch' vibe. I'd call that a WIN! I pesonally like the yellow top look best. (Sorry fabric is poor.) The dark top is more 'column of colour' so maybe appears more streamlined to you? Yes - you could wear slimmer bottoms, but then you would loose the modern/trendiness of the outfit in favour of a more classic look (like mine! ) you have nailed hair and make-up as usual. Actually, hair looks particularly beautiful. I like the 'baby blonde' VERY much.

Note: You look very APPROACHABLE in these outfits - FWIW - like you might laugh with me if I was with you eating those tapas and drinking a spritzer!

JAileen

Veteran

I really love the crops and the shoes. I love Fly London’s off beat look. Of the two tops, I prefer the paisley one. To me, there’s nothing wrong with the other one, but I love paisley and the column of color. The other top, which you hate with a white hot passion, does not look bad! No, it doesn’t!

Echo

Veteran

Okay, if you know anything about me (which you might not, as I'm not on as much as I once was), you know that I normally despise cropped wide leg pants. Poison eye.

However, I actually really like these on you! They are actually quite flattering (I say in surprise because I am surprised!). I don't see anything wrong with the tops you have paired them with, but if you are looking for more structure, you could go with a similarly colored tank or slim-fitting tee and then a cropped button down, worn open like a summer "blazer". That might provide more structure and make you feel more like yourself.

Either way, I genuinely like these jeans on you, and I think you are far too hard on yourself regarding your body and proportions. You really do look great - trim and healthy and fashionable. It may not be what YOU see in the mirror, but it is what I see looking at you.

Kate

Veteran

Those crops are cute as all get out Lisap, and I really like them, adore the shoes—so much in fact that I searched for them, and aLmOst ordered them from Amazon!—and prefer the citron top on you. I'm a sucker for that color, which is quite flattering on you. It's an attractive outfit, and attractive oN you.

That said, I do understand what a whammy to the pysche the post-meno body can be. Any extra pre-meno pounds I gained used to land in a nicely proportional way; decidedly not so after menopause. They all landed at my waist. And I never had much of a waist to begin with. I struggled with it for years, before finally figuring things out.

My solution, which might well work for you, is to look for tops (or hem existing ones) that hit you at the smallest part of your waist when wearing bottoms like these that appear to be fairly high waisted. I discovered that lots of fabric and drape around my waist was definitely not my friend. I thought I was covering things up, but instead the folds of fabric made me feel blowsy, dowdy, untidy and uncomfortable. Yuck! Tops that are gently tailored are best. I never tuck, but I have learned over time that I need fabrics with structure. Sometimes I can do simple tailoring fixes on tops myself to correct length and add shape—as long as the fabric has some structure—but if not, I take it to my tailor.

I'm not letting any top ever again do that wretched blowsy thing at my waist. However, if I happen to want volume, I go big with it, and wear volume over volume, dropping my top's hem wellll below my waistline. I like that look. It's a JFE look, and that's fine by me. It pleases me no end when I'm in the mood for it. It's sure not DH's favorite, but he's learned not to mess with my happiness! I'm reasonably tall, but I have seen women way shorter and curvier (I have a significant curve lack) than I am carry off that look. Sometimes it just takes a few extra steps to get the right fit.

Tina

Veteran

I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you what comes across to me from your posts, style wise I really can't offer you advice as I really think you know what works and what doesn't.

It's hard for me to read the angst that comes through in this post. I am likely about 10 years behind you in age and the changes in my body at this point are still subtle- but I know they will only become more apparent as the years pass and I hit menopause. Are you at the point where you can accept this is your new body and you have to learn to dress it?
I can see myself having these same issues when the time comes, at this point I am bucking it every step of the way. Looking good in what we wear is a big deal for some of us and trying to dismiss it as vain does nothing to quell the feeling of dissatisfaction and general unhappiness that comes from it. I know that you have said you really don't like to spend a lot of time thinking about and shopping for clothes but I wonder if at this point you would benefit from a thorough examination of what you have, what fits and what you feel good in. Get rid of the ones that you question and see what's left.
You really do have innate style and you don't need to second guess yourself. I do think that you may need to invest more time (and possibly money) to get to where you want to be with your wardrobe. I think once you have the ground works in place you won't need to spend as much time.
As we age, I think it becomes more important (at least to some of us) to where nicer clothes? Maybe it's because we don't have the youthful fresh face and figure we once did?!
I clearly have more questions than answers but I do hope you can find your happy place with your wardrobe!

Your hair and make-up are perfection as per usual. I like both outfits but I actually prefer the yellow top with these bottoms. I love the paisley shirt though!

Bijou

Veteran

Lisa I did not read your first post, but I do sympathise and find your posts and the wise words of forum members to be very valuable. I just love JenniNZ.

This ageing process is not fun and when I see what my parents went through I am not looking forward to the physical changes that the next 30-odd years will bring - but there is no alternative - accepting the changes with humour and grace is probably the best we can get. That said, I intend to put up a fight. I went to see my dermatologist about a spot on my back and was quite upset to be told it was nothing JUST an age spot. When he saw the horrified look on my face he wisely offered to burn it off and then found 3 others at the same time...

As for the jeans, I like them. They are cooler to wear in warm weather than skinnies, so whilst not as flattering you need to weigh up the alternatives of what you would wear. For me, cropped light weight jeans don't make me feel fab, but they are cool and comfy to wear on days when I am just running around and are practical for chores.

Wear these jeans with your McQueen scarf draped around your neck to add sophistication and your happiness factor. You are indeed a beautiful and stylish woman, hang in there.

anchie

Veteran

You must be a real talent in taking flattering photos because I don’t see any flaws. You look slim and trim. It is probably just that your eyes haven’t adjusted yet to this proportions. I personally love cropped wide leg jeans, this is the only type of jeans that I can wear in summer because I can’t stand tight jeans in heat. I think you look great in yours. Can I just offer piece of advice that I hope is not uncalled for. Maybe it is just camera angle, and I connected it to your comments on my thread about bra shopping, that you don’t like shopping and investing in bras. But I am so glad that I did, I feel much more youthful and streamlined when girls a sitting little bit higher. Maybe something for you to consider too? I am really sorry if I am out of line here.

kkards

Veteran

Very late to this post. Wishing I had the right words...actually wishing you and I could go shopping together. Anyway...I get it re cropped jeans, they do make us look shorter, and as someone who’s fashion goal for years was to creat looks that make me look tall, I get it. But for what it’s worth, I like these on you. The shoes help to add height, and the add sooooo much interest. As for the tops, I’ll say up front that I prefer the darker one, but that’s my own personal fashion believe that a “column of color”=longer tall. This has not been statistically proven, but I dress like it had lol.
I have more to say, but little time, as my mom is visiting for the weekend. & I may try to post more on that & how it relates to this in off topic next week

Mainelady

Veteran

Lisa P, your feelings are paramount here. Perhaps your summer style is evolving a bit and will take some getting used to. Give it a time. I am short and wider than I used to be. It is taking me time to accept that the body shape I have is likely to be the body shape I will be dressing. My skinny days are well behind me.
Looking at your pictures (and understanding where you are coming from), I really think you look great! I like the cropped jeans on you. I think they are flattering. I don’t see midsection. I also like both of the tops. The citron is a fabulous color for you and I love the tied blouse. Personally, I don’t think they create too much volume on top. The fit of the jeans is nice and tidy looking and I think the fabric lends to some structure. Your sandals and bag are fab and would be huge happiness factors for me.
I think trying these jeans with a variety of tops may help you to soften your view of yourself. Maybe this style will prove to be too far of a departure from your usual style. You get to decide. At any rate, I think summer is the best time to try new styles and shapes.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Lisa, I’m late to this, but you already know that I hav problems with this pants silhouette too. I’m long-legged but they mostly make me feel wide and stumpy and decidedly NOT FAB. So for the most part, I have decided to defy trend and avoid these styles. I often relate to this statement of yours: “I can't get away with JFE, it doesn't make me feel great.”

That said, I like the version with the dark blue printed blouse. I feel like the only person on this forum who does not love citron, so I may be biased against that top for the color alone, but i agree that the blue top seems more you and creates a nice long streamlined look, which definitely makes me feel better too. I am generally not comfortable with high contrast top and bottom combinations unless all the other flattery details are in my favor, so often simply switching a top out for something tonal with the bottom half makes me feel much better.

Your hair and makeup and accessories are fab, as always.

kkards

Veteran

just coming back to add that i for me, ironicaly enough, cropped jeans are easiest to style in the winter with mid or high shaft boot and sweaters.....

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I'm kind of with Janet on this - it's not my preferred silhouette but with the blue top I actually kind of like it. And your accessories, hair, makeup and shoes are fantastic so it comes off as a very polished look. I've opted to skip out on the wider leg pant trend but I did chop off an old pair of off white BR jeans that are boyfriend style (a little loose) and I like those.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

The wide crops are SUPER CUTE. KILLER with the shoes. Looking Euro Chic.

I much prefer the navy blouse to the chartreuse top - although the chartreuse top looks great with the shoes. The tonal-ness of the all blue creates an elongated effect, and it blousons better in a woven fabric.

Try something more fitted on top with the culottes.

Marilyn

Veteran

I'm really liking the outfit with the blue top as well. I'm a fan of column of colour because it's so streamlined and it especially helps with styles, like wide legged crops, that are trickier to style. Like Janet, I'm not a fan of citron so I could be biased against that one.

This menopause thing really does a number on us, doesn't it. Honestly, I feel like I'm coming unhinged half the time. I'll be 56 in September and I'm starting to think I might be the only lady in nursing home still getting her period. I went a whole 6 months period free (and was feeling pretty good), then it came back on the regular. WTF??! I'm in hormonal h*ll half the time. I'm only up about half a size but I see my body changing and it scares me. You aren't alone in this.....many of us here understand where you're coming from. I'm having a lot of freak out moments lately with clothes too and honestly I think it has more to do with perceived body image than it does with the clothes.

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