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Closet Edits

Anonymous

When I first came to YLF, I had a severely bloated closet with no rhyme or reason that reflected a lot of sales shopping and impulse buying. There I said it.

Since joining YLF, I ruthlessly edited my wardrobe. I developed capsules based on activity and sometimes color. I learned to stop shopping sales all together. I am serenely happy with my wardrobe at this moment.

But truth be told, there are still some garments in my wardrobe that are orphans. There are any number of reasons for their status (i.e., bought multiples of the same garment; changing styles tastes; changing color palettes). These orphans still have a place in my wardrobe because each of them is a really high quality and special piece (imho). The thought of donating them actually hurts my soul. I would gladly give them to friends if I knew those friends would use them, but I haven't found that exact friend just yet. Well, maybe one. One friend has specifically said she wants everything in my closet that I plan to give to the Goodwill. But if she is one size smaller than me, how does that help?

I am having a hard time taking the next step and editing out pieces that I remember loving or that were expensive or that I think I might need "some day."

Can anyone help me?

Shopping

41 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I am the worlds worst person to give advice on closet editing, but in this case, I'd say try it on, IN SEASON, and if your gut reaction is "nope, don't feel it right now" put it in a pile, and get it out of the house asap. I truly think you won't miss, or even think about, these items once they are gone. It's a bit like ripping a bandaid off, putting them in "that pile". But once it's off, it's off.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I am right there with you! I have some things that don't exactly spark joy, but I keep them "just in case," whatever that means! I guess in case my feelings change? Sometimes I do warm back up to a piece that I was formerly on the fence about, or something starts trending and makes me pause (I have a tiered bell-sleeve top in that category right now).

But I have been making an effort to wear some of my unworn pieces to see what is keeping me from using them. Two days ago, that included a very loose top that I like when viewed from the front. However, it has high divided side seams and the wind picked it right up and made me feel like it was going to expose my bra every time I stepped outside. I'm going to launder it and then put it in the giveaway bag.

Keep us posted with any specific examples or successes you find! Other people's editing stories help me identify strategies for myself.

Murph11

Veteran

My trick is to visualize a shopper's sheer delight as they find my once coveted special piece at the local thrift shop and loving it 10x more than I ever did! Done!

Anonymous

Thank you, Murph11. That was what I needed to hear. I can imagine how happy they might be because I myself have felt that thrill (and thankfulness).

JAileen

Veteran

You described how I feel. I hate giving away special items, even if I don't wear them. I have a really great duffle coat in camel. The inside is cream. It looks great, fits great, and is warm in winter. I don't wear it though because the colors don't work anymore with the rest of my grey based wardrobe. I should get rid of this coat, but I can't. I don't know what the solution is.

Penny

Veteran

Totally been there, and I think those things are so hard to get rid of until you're in as good a place as you are. What prompted me to finally donate / consign these items? To release myself from the guilt of NOT wearing them. I feel so much better when every item in my closet is something I love and want to regularly wear for its appropriate occasion.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I know a lot of others say they don't re-wardrobe items from their holding zones, but I happen to do it quite often so I'm not an advocate of donating or giving away things I still like but don't wear right now. As long as they still fit, I'm holding for a year or more in some cases. I have a pair of "Nantucket Red" shorts back in my wardrobe after I think two years in holding (I'm finicky about color I guess because they fit well and suddenly seem right), I've added back in a dusty hot pink tee that I thought for sure was not a good color on me last year but somehow seems just right this year, and I've also added back in a couple of other tops that I *thought* weren't right for some reason or another but it ends up that I just have just been in a different phase.

So - I'd say not to give up too quickly, esp. if it's a quality item that fits.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Can we see those pieces? And have you recently fitted them on?

Carole

Veteran

Oh I'm so glad it's not just me! These closet edit blog posts make me feel like a loser because I've never completed one....i have visions of grandeur and start out with gusto but then get sidetracked with feelings for the orphans like you have. I hate wasting things and I guess that's what I feel like I'm doing when I single out perfectly great pieces to be eliminated. I'm a much better shopper these days, with the exception of buying too many shoes.

Anonymous

Thank you for asking, Angie. The items I am thinking of are not in Finds. These are all older pieces.

I guess I am not asking for recommendations on specific items. I was asking in more of a general sense.

What happens when you know you are not wearing something, but you are having a hard time letting it go because of the expense or the waste or the "maybe some day?"

Anonymous

I make like a buttercup and suck it up!
It feels good to get the "guilt items" out of my sight and out of my life.

However...There is one particular item that was very expensive to me, that I don't love, BUT I do continue to wear, because I can't find anything better, and don't want to take on the expense of replacing it. (Was that a real sentence?)

I think I would feel bad purging this item because it's still in use, even though it's not my favourite thing, and even though I still have guilt feelings about it.

If I weren't wearing it at all, that would be another story. I would axe it!

On another side-note: I have noticed that I am a forward-looking person, and not everyone is like me. A lot of people look to the past, recount stories about past events and things,enjoy reminiscing, and so on, and I think for these "storyteller" types, it is probably a lot harder to purge than it is for me.

Sisi

Veteran

Sterling I commiserate because I am exactly like you. Of course I know I am of no help saying this. I will follow this thread with interest. Smittie I think you are right: I am in fact a person attached to the past.

Anonymous

I am not overly sentimental about most of my wardrobe pieces if I am not feeling the love anymore. If it's something I truly believe I will wear again, that's different. I see it as - the longer I wait to donate/rehome items, the less they are potentially useful to others. Part of the reason I donate so freely is because I believe others can make good use of the items.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I think Janet's solution is on the money. Purposely wear your unworn items, and it might become clear why you aren't wearing them regularly. Maybe those pants are a tad tight and uncomfortable. Maybe that pretty blouse has bra exposure issues. Maybe you don't have one single top in your closet that works with that orphaned skirt.

One caveat: formal wear and very fancy shoes don't necessarily fall into this category. You can have those things in your closet for "just in case". Just make sure you pull them out from time to time and make sure they still fit!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Oh yes, I agree with Janet too to purposely wear some of them and see if there is some other issue - like pulling or wrinkling or whatever.

Christina F.

Veteran

I'm one of those who keeps things in holding for a year or more. Some are gear like hiking pants that don't fit right now and were expensive and infrequently used. Others are things I love that I hope to fit into again, but I try to keep this category very small. Mind you, I do regularly donate clothes - we even have a box in my building's basement for the purpose. I've updated my wardrobe so much this year that I have no choice but to have a one-in-one-out policy.

Sometimes, when I reevaluate items, I find that they look really good on me, and yet I STILL don't reach for them. But then every time I evaluate, they look so good that I keep them. This is one of my big obstacles to editing. Anyone else experience this? I guess these clothes may look good but aren't what Tim Gunn would call "soul stirring" for one reason or another. I also think Janet's solution might work well for me for these items - maybe there is a reason I don't reach for them.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

"Sometimes, when I reevaluate items, I find that they look really good on me, and yet I STILL don't reach for them. But then every time I evaluate, they look so good that I keep them. This is one of my big obstacles to editing. Anyone else experience this?"

YES! I have been doing this for years with a couple of nice, classic button-front shirts. Well, this spring I finally took them out, tried them on and said, yes, they fit and look *nice*... BUT they didn't fit my current style and when I tried to come up with an outfit using those shirts that I actually wanted to wear out of the house, I came up empty. Those shirts are now in the donation bag, and I have a twinge of anxiety about letting go of them, but I literally have not worn them in over three years. It's time to move on.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

"Sometimes, when I reevaluate items, I find that they look really good
on me, and yet I STILL don't reach for them. But then every time I
evaluate, they look so good that I keep them. This is one of my big
obstacles to editing. Anyone else experience this?"

OMG, YES! I'll start on a pile of things I haven't worn for a year, or two, or three... and start styling them and it becomes "oh, this is nice, I should be wearing it", and put it back....

I was able to do a jeans purge this spring by consciously saying "yes these are nice, but I like those other ones better, and they are the same cut, so out goes the ones that I'm not reaching for". And out they went, the next day. Otherwise they'd be rehung by now!. With jeans it's not always fit, it can be fabric, or how they feel once they've been on for hours. There are a gazillion more categories that need to be tackled though. So hard... (well, for some of us)

Love these type of threads, thanks for starting, I hope can get motivated by it.

JuniperGreen

Veteran

Oh Sterling, I'm glad to have found a kindred spirit. I could describe my closet the same way: "severely bloated ... with no rhyme or reason" and definitely the product of lots of "sales shopping and impulse buying." Hearing your story is motivating, thank you!

I only joined the YLF community this spring and it has DRASTICALLY changed the way I shop in a few short months. I am noticing this as I put together outfits. I regularly weed out items but need to do a large re-assessment soon. Two things are happening that are motivating forces for my eventual Big Closet Edit:
- I'm tired of sifting through lots of less-than-stellar options.
- The "good" stuff is getting lost amid the rest.

LaPed

Veteran

My worst habit, closet-wise, is thinking that something that doesn't fit me well will fit better if I gain/lose weight. Most of the time, when something doesn't fit, the issues are proportional -- waist too big/legs too skinny, torso too big/shoulders too narrow, etc. -- and I tend to gain/lose weight pretty proportionally, which means that even if I go up or down a size, those things I'm hanging onto in the back of the closet still won't actually fit because they're just the wrong shape. I've gotten a lot better about saying no to things with fit issues, and identifying specific features that just never work for me (looking at you, low-rise pants!). Pants are still hard, though, because if I only keep the perfect ones, I don't have enough. I wage a constant battle with my placeholder-pants...

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I guess that's the value of a number based goal - if you decide you'll only keep x woven tops, then it's easier to get rid of the x+1th one, even if it is perfectly lovely and fits. I mean, you can think of it as making it easier, more joyful and less stressful to get dressed, because you're not overwhelmed with 'almosts ' anymore.

Style Fan

Veteran

I have a box of holding items. It is getting smaller. Very slowly. The good news is that I rarely add items to it since I joined YLF. But it is painful to donate those items. I gave up on consignment stores.
I shudder to think of the cost but I look at the items and realize now I will never wear them.
I try to donate to organize like women's shelters or hospital emergency rooms.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am a pretty ruthless closet editor because the guilt of not wearing/ enjoying clothing that I can see every time I open my closet tears at my heart more than my guilt about sunk costs.

In general, I feel a sense of relief when I get rid of expensive mistakes. Out of sight, out of mind...and meanwhile, I can also indulge in Murph11's clever visualization. Imagine how great this item is going to make someone else feel!

But Smittie might be onto something; this may have to do with temperament.

And there are a few items that I have a harder time getting rid of, no matter what. Most of them fall into the "special occasion wear" category. As others have said, this is a particularly difficult category to feel any sureness about. You never know what special occasion is going to arise and I know for a fact that there are few things that bother me more than not having an option or two at the ready for a fancy event. I used to find myself in that position quite often and it bothered me much more than it bothers me to have a few extra possibly extraneous items hanging in the closet. That, again, might relate to temperament and circumstances. If I felt confident that I'd be able to go out shopping at a moment's notice and find a great new outfit should a special occasion arise, I might not need to do this.

Laura makes a good point. If you have a fair idea of how many tops you need, then keeping too many over that number is just a mistake. In cases like that, I try on in different outfits and see why I am tempted to keep them...perhaps one works especially well with that jacket or this skirt, for example, while another works really well with jeans, in which case maybe it makes sense to keep both if I do wear them.

Elizabeth P alludes to this when she talks about organizing her jeans by cut. I do that also. I will only wear one or two favourites of any particular style (e.g. slim straight, BF, culotte) and it makes no sense to keep extras on hand.

Having said that, "need" is elastic. How many spring weight silk blouses do I "need" when I only wear them about five times a season? Possibly none. Or maybe 2, one light and one dark or one patterned and one plain. Or maybe five, for variety? Hmmm. It's tricky. But if I consistently pass something by in favour of other items and never really enjoy wearing it, well...that's a signal.

I also think trying outfits on helps you determine if something actually meshes with your current style direction.

Christina F.

Veteran

Suz, boy are you right about sunk costs. I definitely keep clothes for that reason, even though I can usually dismiss it in my personal life as a reason for doing stuff. How funny.

One way I get around holding on to too many special occasion clothes is to use Rent the Runway. (Don't know if other countries have it or an an equivalent; I know Canada has a company but apparently the dresses aren't too nice?) I have a fancy event I attend each year, so it's a constant need of mine. This solution won't work for everyone, but it helps me keep that capsule to a minimum - I do have a couple of backups and one pair of silver heels that's comfortable and goes with EVERYTHING.

Anonymous

This was an incredibly HELPFUL thread. I forgot something very important. I don't have to donate everything to the Good Will. I can donate to Women's shelters. There is literally a shelter on the way home from work. Thanks, Style Fan, for the reminder. Such an obvious solution and one I just completely missed.

And Smittie, I am going to suck it up this weekend. All my really nice stuff is going into a pile. I will take it to a consignment shop first. Whatever doesn't sell will be dropped off at the Women's Shelter with my blessing.

And Janet. I once considered getting rid of all my button down shirts. I just haven't be able to do that. I am still not ready to do that.

Suz -- Sunk costs are the exact issue with some of my more emotionally and financially expensive items (e.g., Coach Briefcase that I just had to have in ~2000). I found it was too heavy to carry. I also found that it wasn't of much use when carrying reports/laptops/etc. It was a complete waste of money. Yet ..... sunk costs.

Wow. This post was more emotionally than I thought it would be when I originally wrote it. Thank you everyone that posted your thoughts.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thank you Sterling! I will be able to think and write more at the weekend. Going to work this morning. I finally joined YLF for this type of post ( Rachy's one on her sweaters was the clincher!)
Smittie has it bang on in my case. Total "storyteller". I now have 36 years of clothes stories since age 20 and still keep and have worn my mother's 1964 vintage coat which I first stole from her when I was 21. Culling is very hard for me. I do do it, but stuff with more good memories that is not worn is more difficult.

Anonymous

Sigh. I have re-read everyone's comment with careful consideration. I am not a sentimental person. In fact, it frightens my BF just how unsentimental I am. So that is not the problem.

Comments about sunk costs resonate the most to me. It is coming to grips with sunk costs that is my obvious next step in my fashion journey.

JAileen

Veteran

Suz mentioning sunk costs - that's a big concept in cost accounting. She's absolutely right. And in business I was that way. But I'm not that way with my own closet.

Liz

Veteran

Sterling, don't forget that you can also use Style Exchange here to sell or give away your items.

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