Can discovering your style be hindered by lots of shopping? - YouLookFab Forum

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Can discovering your style be hindered by lots of shopping?

Gigi

Veteran

I've been reading YLF for about a year now and have gone from knowing nothing about fashion to knowing lots (thanks, Angie and fabbers!). I had no idea what my style was when I started, but now it is starting to take form.

I had an extremely limited wardrobe when I started (maybe ten outfits total, five for S/S and five for F/W, plus five pairs of shoes), and three quarters of that didn't fit right (was too big), so I basically had to build a wardrobe from scratch. So I shopped and shopped and shopped.

As I shopped, I would find my "style antennae" being drawn in one direction for a while, then another. So I would change up the type of clothing I was shopping for. I went through four or five different styles in a year.

Well, money finally became a problem, and I had to dial down the shopping A LOT. So I started to play around in my closet instead. By this time, I had developed a decent medium-sized closet with a few different styles of clothing. So now I had lots of building blocks to put together to create outfits. And when I started playing in my closet and stopped focusing so much on shopping, I started discovering what I think is my "true" style (feminine but with a bit of sass and a classic, tailored fit).

Anyway, the point of this thread is that if I hadn't stopped focusing so much on shopping and had kept creating a large influx of new purchases, I don't know if I would have had my real style start to surface. I feel like our inner workings can get overwhelmed and "clogged up" with too much information. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

rabbit

Veteran

YES. I think we may have had a somewhat parallel experience, and you are a bit ahead of me.

I think experimenting is valuable, and I've been experimenting. It's been really fun. But I've also discovered that reincorporating the 'special occasion' clothes I already have in new ways, plus a flurry (or snowstorm ) of new purchases, I really have plenty to work with, and now I just need to work with it.

I think I need to do one more purchase - I need to get our camera fixed or buy a new one. Right now I'm limited to my husband's smartphone when he's home, so the very useful step of photographing outfits for myself to relook at proportion and fit on my computer screen (the mirror lies) is kind of limited.

carter

Veteran

For me, I think one begets the other until you hit the point of saturation on either. The average age of clothing items in my closet pre-YLF was probably 6-8 years. It's no wonder I was bored out of my mind and felt like I was no longer able to express my style. I've done a ton of purging and shopping in the past 6 months. There've been plenty of mistakes along the way, and much more returning than keeping, but I feel like every purchase has led me closer to my style, even if something only taught me which direction I did not want to go. I expect my evolution to continue as I discover new styles that work for me, but I do feel like I've reached a point that my closet now feels totally like me.

unfrumped

Veteran

Short answer: yes.
I can turn it around and say not- wearing can hinder. So it's not just buying-- you have to wear whatever it is you have, and included in that is, or decide to NOT wear something, and the cull it, in order to make progress. So if you spend too much energy on new items or you don't immediately wear them, you may not learn how a new item does or didn't work and then make similar mistakes.
I (think) I wish I had more access to interesting B & M stores because ice gotten to appreciate " research" more-- trying but not buying.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, maybe. I think that all the trends in stores can pull you in directions that you might not go on your own. Some of those will be distractions and some will be new discoveries, but I'm not sure that you can know that ahead of time without some experimentation.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Angie's take on this - the review process is for both before & after you buy.

http://youlookfab.com/2012/08/.....et-review/

This is helpful for finding your style too imo

http://youlookfab.com/2011/06/.....our-style/

Joyce B

Veteran

Yes, absolutely, but fashion is always in flux and so is my styling of purchases and items in my closet so it can get overwhelming at some point and money can be an issue, too.
One thing I have done well is that I no longer feel I am wearing a uniform every day so there has been progress here.
You posted a great topic, Gigi!

gryffin

Veteran

Gigi - I think that's very insightful. Personal style comes from withiin. Assuming you've selected building blocks that really call to you and have enough basics and statement pieces, I think it's in the mix that we find out how we want to represent outselves. If we are always focused outward (searching/shopping) we are not focused inward!! That's a really important point and a crucial place on the journey!!

Sarah A

Veteran

Yes, in my experience as well. I have found this particularly true with off season sale items so i really try to avoid buying anything i cant wear right away to evaluate. I have also found the huge variety of fab styles i see on YLF pulls me many directions so i sometimes need to take forum breaks too. Of course i miss everyone here when i do but i have found the breaks to be necesary for me to focus and slow down shopping.

April

Veteran

I will answer with a quote from French interior and product designer Andrée Putman:

“I love America, and I love American women. But there is one thing that deeply shocks me - American closets. I cannot believe one can dress well when you have so much.”

I have definitely found this to be true.

celia

Veteran

This is so true...
I find that I see either items or full outfits here in the forum that call my attention and I build a wardrobe that matches and have outfits that appeal to me but....I don't wear them, I just keep buying to fill this perfect wardrobe that I have lined up in my mind.
The process gets very expensive and stressful. In hindsight the happiest times I spent dressing myself( as in getting outfits out of my mind and the house) were the ones where I didn't make new purchases but just played around in my closet.
On those occasions I would get to make my own outfits and get the happy feeling of expressing exactly what I wanted to express.

Helena

Veteran

April, that is a great quote!! I'm a less-is-more girl too so I love that.

That said - Gigi, when I read your post, the first thing that popped into my head was that you had to shop, try different things, experiment, and build up a bit of a stockpile to work from - as you said, you didn't have a lot of stuff and weren't really into fashion, so it makes total sense that you went for it for a bit. It's great that you are now at the stage where you are ready to focus in on a particular style, but I don't think you could have gotten there without that interim step. So, to make a long story short (too late!), sounds like you are right on track to me

Jules

Veteran

Oh definitely. But I'd call it "the experimentation stage" and it is valuable.

There's also the matter of filling holes you didn't know you had. For example I had very little transitional footwear, it was sandals or boots and mostly in black. So there's been a LOT Of shopping this past year, but I am hoping now that some holes have been filled there will be less going forward. In fact I already feel that I have summer sandals covered from purchases I made last year. Because I bought a couple of pairs and they were on trend but still me, they will work again this year. Meanwhile I can buy spring shoes instead, filling that hole. In the past I would have one main pair of sandals last year, worn them to death, and would have needed to replace them this year.

There's also definitely a closet turning point, where you bring home something new and instead of needing to buy other stuff to make it work (beginner phase?), or having one or two outfits (novice?), you actually find it opens up mutiple possibilities in your closet, maybe even bringing out some items that have been neglected (intermediate). I notice that with the very stylish members they can usually bring something home and style it half a dozen amazing ways right off the bat (advanced!). I'm somewhat minimal and I don't need 6 ways to wear everything, but having options feels amazing and does require a certain minimum amount of clothes in your closet.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You have to enjoy your wardrobe items - otherwise, what is the point? The best part about acquiring them is WEARING THEM. That's why I periodically and gently remind the forum and my clients to stop shopping and wear the heck out of your clothes.

Shopping is sweeter when you are starved of it for a while. Just like food tastes better when you've been deprived, and money earned in more appreciated when there was effort involved.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Caro. xo

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Wow, what a good question... particularly for a lifelong recreational shopper like myself! I'm not sure how true your theory is for me, but I tend to go in waves in my shopping habits anyway. I didn't buy much for the last few months, and now just in the last week I've added a half dozen new items to my closet. After I find my new nude sandals and try out the flare jeans that are on their way to me, I'll probably take another break. I'm *really* happy with my closet right now, but I always have the mentality that I'm keeping my eye out in case interesting things pop up on my radar.

Come to think of it, I'm like that about other things in my life too. I'm not very good at putting on blinders -- I suppose some of it is FOMO (fear of missing out), but I seem to operate in a perpetual state of research, whether it's considering my next destination for a trip, a purchase of camera gear, planning a home renovation project, or yes, considering a new pair of shoes.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oops, cross posted with Angie and Jules. Jules, THIS:

"There's also definitely a closet turning point, where you bring home something new and instead of needing to buy other stuff to make it work (beginner phase?), or having one or two outfits (novice?), you actually find it opens up mutiple possibilities in your closet, maybe even bringing out some items that have been neglected (intermediate). I notice that with the very stylish members they can usually bring something home and style it half a dozen amazing ways right off the bat (advanced!). I'm somewhat minimal and I don't need 6 ways to wear everything, but having options feels amazing and does require a certain minimum amount of clothes in your closet."

Yes! The things I brought home from Boston are getting immediate wear and have already sparked a bunch of ideas on how I can wear them with what I already own. They've also probably sparked a mini closet purge.

shedev

Veteran

I bought over a hundred things last year. This year I'm on a 2 item a month plan so that I can slow down and spend time evaluating each purchase. So far it is working out really well.

Jenny H

Veteran

I completely agree! I think I'm already getting a reputation here as someone who keeps a small closet. In addition to taking a break from shopping, narrowing down the number of clothes in my closet has helped me become more stylish (and I hope the fab folks here will help me continue this journey!). I still have a lot of clothes, but I only keep a small portion of them accessible at any given time (I've used Project 333 as my inspiration, despite having more than 33 items). I've gotten a lot more creative in crafting my wardrobe.

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

I agree with so many here. I've definitely been overwhelmed with fashion info at times and couldn't find my way. The worst times (as in so many other aspects of life) were always when I needed things for a purpose but didn't have the resources to process the choices, so PPP was out of my reach though I shopped pretty often back when it pretty much had to be done in person, and happiness factor was often low.

Thinking back over the past decade, I know something else affected me--we moved to places that were nice enough but didn't suit my style. Ohio is too mainstream for me and Silicon Valley is too "casual all the way down." When I got to the PNW, t took me about a year to start bothering to think about the whole subject. I didn't have an urgent need to buy anything. Now I'm having more fun, and after a modest and intentional buying jag, I'm probably going back to my now-normal very restrained levels and might not add any more than a handful of things the rest of the year.

Hanging out at YLF has definitely helped me get a sense of what's out there. At my point in life, I am generally pretty clear on what I like and what should work for me, so I don't feel pulled in as many directions as I could be in the past. I can happily pass on lots of things that look fab on others.

Good thread!

rachylou

Veteran

That's an interesting question. Sometimes I feel I'm not adding enough of myself in, because I've just bought everything ready-made. But then other times, I feel I don't have what I need and am just making stuff look as good as it can, whatever style that takes.

Gigi

Veteran

Interesting that many of you had had the same experience. And I think that it is true what many of you have said, that until you do quite a bit of shopping and supply yourself with the building blocks, you will have a difficult time pinpointing your style. But once you have those building blocks, you have to step back and start playing around with the clothes to get your enjoyment out of them, like Angie says.

It really amazes me sometimes how a top that I feel "ho-hum" about suddenly comes alive when I pair it with something different than I was pairing it with before. And I wouldn't have noticed that if I had just said, "Oh, that top is only so-so; I want a replacement," and kept shopping and didn't play around with it.

Jules, I love what you said about there being a turning point in the closet, a point where you have enough items to create lots of new outfits with a single new purchase. I just bought a coral cardigan the other day, and I was skeptical about what I was going to do with it because I really have nothing like that color in my wardrobe. I was so surprised to find that it went with quite a few bottoms! It was very versatile. So yes, I suppose when you get to the stage where you have enough building blocks, you should cut back on the shopping so as to put those blocks together in various ways.

Gryffin, you are wise as usual! I love what you said about shopping being a focusing on what is outside of you, whereas style is interior, and that it is in the mixing of things that we discover our personal style. I think you are so right that it is not just a general style that each of us has—girly, or tomboy, or urban—but is how we like to pair things (girly with tomboy; urban with feminine; etc.).

Janet, I am big on the fear of missing out too! I have to remind myself that if I miss out on something now, it is incredibly likely that something similar or even better will surface eventually. But FOMO is a big tempter to overshop. I think being perfectionist is too, as some have mentioned. That is me to a T also!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gigi, to your last point -- I had that kind of fear, too, when I first started shopping after years of not shopping. I think it was due to a lack of exposure to the whole fashion cycle. If I saw something that looked good and fit I thought I just "had" to snatch it up! And in a way it made sense because I truly didn't have enough clothes in my closet when I started out. I had enough not to go naked, but not enough to create real outfits.

But a couple of years later, that fear or impulse has definitely quieted down. I've been able to notice that (even within just a few years!) items or colours or shapes will cycle in and out. And if I hang tight and don't "make do" a better version will eventually come along.

I do think that slowing down the shopping helps with figuring out your style -- but as you said, you do need enough there in the first place or else playing in the closet is kind of fruitless.