I've had bunions for a long time (>20 years?). I have a pretty strong opinion that it's MUCH better not to get surgery. In fact, I would say that in general people shouldn't get bunion surgery without trying non-surgical alternatives for at least 5 years. Doctors always recommend surgery - that's because surgery is what doctors do. They tend to be pretty unfamiliar with non-surgical options. I've looked into the surgery, and it has a lot of disadvantages. The recovery is horrible, and unless you really follow the recovery instructions well - meaning literally no walking other than going to the bathroom for many weeks - the results from the surgery aren't that good. And even if the surgery is successful, it permanently messes up the range of motion of your toes. This may not seem like a big deal, but having a bunch of yoga poses off limits for the rest of my life isn't so appealing. And finally, surgery always has the potential for serious complications and should be treated as a last resort. And from what I've found, most bunion surgery can be avoided.
When my bunions first started getting painful, the doctors I talked to recommended surgery. Then I found a good pedorthist to make me custom orthotics, and my bunions have (a) stopped getting worse (stopped "growing") and (b) stopped hurting (as long as I wear the orthotics). I can't recommend enough finding a really good pedorthist, preferably one who works with athletes because most athletes beat up their feet a lot but don't want to deal with surgery. A good pedorthist should be willing to not just make the orthotics, but work with you to adjust them until they are perfect. I recommend a pedorthist rather than a podiatrist because making orthotics is the focus of a pedorthist, so they usually are more experienced at it than many podiatrists. They can correct the support problem that's leading to your bunions and make the pain go away.
If you want dressier non-painful shoes, there are two key things you need to do.
#1: Learn about shoe stretching. Either find a good cobbler who can stretch shoes to accommodate your bunions, or buy a good shoe stretcher and do it yourself. Most shoes can be stretched to accommodate your bunions. You can wear almost any shoes if you have them stretched to accommodate your bunion. This is like magic, it feels so good. You'll be wondering why you haven't been doing this your whole life.
#2: Try on lots and lots of shoes. It's a trial and error process and everyone's feet are different. At this point I have several pair of dressier shoes that work with my orthotics, including Oxfords, flat boots, and a pair of low heels. Boot or booties tend to work better with orthotics because there's more shoe to still support your foot once it's raised slightly by the orthotic. In my experience ballet flats and orthotics don't work at all. I have found ballet flats that are comfortable to wear without orthotics for my bunions, at least if I don't do too much walking. They are Me Too Swanns and Eccos.
I can tell you lots more about the specific shoes I have, but I don't know that it will help you so much because people's feet vary. And once you get a shoe stretcher, you'll have TONS more options.
