Author Linda, I agree that when the item is wonderful for you, you rarely feel regrets about it, whatever the cost. In fact, the low end items often look a lot more expensive on the right person.
Maneera, I understand your feelings, too. In my 20s I had very little and wanted so much. Sometimes my mother would take me shopping and buy me a few things, and I would just hope that she would keep buying me more and more…I really enjoyed the indulgence that otherwise wasn’t available. What you said about spending on the “stars” though — I think this is a really interesting point and goes to a distinction I’ve been mulling in my head. I will save that for another thread!
JAileen, your husband is lucky to be in a relationship with someone who cares about his needs and your future together.
Vildy, I have a feeling you probably do rescue those “unwanted” items and put them to creative use. The story about the lipstick is interesting. Sometimes it is our associations to an item that matter. But I think lipstick is a great example because it has a distinct texture. The more expensive ones probably do feel better.
Astrid, how lovely that you’ve had such an effect on your mother, opening her up to the pleasure of nice clothing.
Angie, that makes complete sense. Of course! It must have been devastating for you to see your mother go so very quickly. And naturally it would increase your desire to live for today!
I need to correct a possible misunderstanding, though. I may have made myself sound like much more of a saver than I am. I'm not really at all tightfisted by nature.
It is just that for most of my life I’ve had very little money for clothing. I tended to spend what I had on education, books, travel, food, and especially our house — which was our really big expense. It is only in the last few years that I had enough left over after that to buy what amounts to a middle-class wardrobe. And I found that after years of self-denial in that area, this was more difficult at first than I would have expected!
Vix, I’ll go off to read your thread — fascinated to hear.
JAileen, yes, I was raised to be mindful of this, too. My parents were both savers.
Sterling, I think it is a question of balance. Some on YLF come from a background of having scrimped on ourselves a bit (or a lot) and some have the opposite pattern, and probably all of us need to meet in the middle!
Smittie, I agree that it is important to know how to be frugal. Some of my family members lack this trait and it has made the rest of us suffer.
Jenn, yes — that was Gaylene’s idea, too, although she wasn’t keeping an exact budget. The idea was simply — spend the budget you have, but on fewer items.
BC — you absolutely should baby your feet!
Staysfit, that’s a really great way to approach it. Keep a budget and select what you can of the higher end things without going over.
Lisa, what you said about dressing for your professional life made another lightbulb go off for me. Not only was I unable to do that (because I had no income for it) but also — it didn’t matter! I mean, in the various kinds of work I was doing there was no need to impress anyone. (Teaching, mostly, and editing, and then working from home). So there was less “justification” for spending on myself, or rather, it was harder to justify it to myself as a need. Interesting….
