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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Boredom: Real or Manufactured?

Gaylene

Veteran

As some of you know, I've recently gone through a massive wardrobe cull because of our move to a tiny condo in a different part of the country. Now that we are getting somewhat settled, I'm trying to collect my thoughts about what it's like to lose 80% of your wardrobe--things I loved that fit, flattered, and last, but not least, represented a significant outlay of money and time spent searching for that elusive "perfect" item. I have realized a couple of things that I thought some of you might find interesting:

Oddly, boredom isn't much of a problem and neither is adopting a uniform with a small closet--at least for me. If anything, I am getting more random compliments from family and strangers on a daily basis, and getting dressed is both easier and more satisfying. Weird but true.

Working with a restricted color palette of solid neutrals Is easier because it forces me to concentrate on fit, texture, and small details--the thickness of the leather in my belt, the exact shades of olive green and charcoal in a silk scarf I'm contemplating purchasing, and the precision of the line in a pair of slim charcoal pants. Cream and toffee might be "in" but I don't want to give over the space it would take to add these shades to my wardrobe. Same goes for pops of color--a pair of gloves or scarf might be OK, but I can't afford the room for a top or sweater.

And, strangest of all, I'm rekindling my love of fashion now that I spend more time admiring instead of trying to figure out how to emulate or source something that catches my attention. I'm slowly realizing that staying up-to-date isn't about trends, that it's all too easy to confuse novelty with creativity, and that wardrobe "blues" aren't always resolved by whipping out my credit cards--although retailers would like to have me believe all of these are true.

Anyway, those are some of the ideas that have been rattling around in my head. Deliberately choosing not to add to my wardrobe, though, has made me wonder about participating in a fashion forum where many members are still working on developing their wardrobes. I know that several forum members have opted out because they were taking a break from buying, but I've been around here long enough to know that some of the most interesting discussions aren't about buying so I'm not quite ready to cut the cord.

Dressing

53 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

unfrumped

Veteran

Gaylene, please keep posting your experiences with your new abode, downsizing, and stylish dressing!

A while ago I posted something about what one would do in current wardrobing if you thought there might be changes in lifestyle such as retirement or change in job and possibly relocation just a few years from now--meaning, how to think ahead but still have today's wardrobe? What if you're still kind of building but not for a 10-20 year stretch?

You and others were a big help in introducing ideas of running a leaner wardrobe overall, so that there wasn't so much depth invested that it'd be a huge waste if change occurred.
I'm still thinking in that mode as I try not to overduplicate and also to think, what items would still be useful? What items would still be most "me" in different situations? What compromises would I be happy to make, for special occasion-dressing, in order nto to have wasted outfits just sitting around for "some day" but still be able to dress appropriately?
(The potential for grandchildren kind of has me flummoxed, because washable and even expendable seem like they would become paramount!)

Beth Ann

Veteran

Excellent way to say it:

"It's all too easy to confuse novelty with creativity."

That's true for music, art, writing... not just wardrobe creation. I will never be a minimalist, but I've found myself in stores reaching for things that, in effect, I already have, by which I mean I have a similar piece that fills that "hole." I could go in a whole diffferent direction, of course, but that would require a whole 'nother house, let alone another closet, and a trust fund to go with it! And would I be happier? Not likely.

I am trying to learn how to keep adapting and morphing from one place to another with my wardrobe. For example, I've been moving into more fluid fits, but now I'm at the point where I need longer first layers (shirts and tees), which are hard to find, particularly to fit my long torso and size 14 shape. I also would like a coat that accommodates these items.

I find it hard to focus on the items that matter most: that fill my wardrobe holes and move me forward in my style. Instead, I get caught up in too much "reinventing of same wheel." Now -- replacing knitwear, and refreshing a familiar silhouette with a few new woven tops? That's inexpensive, easy and fun. Still, I have to make sure I keep the outlay of money and energy (and space) reasonable for these items. And, now that I have a wardrobe that works, I find I'm buying less! Perhaps now is the time to focus more on quality.

Sounds like you're mastering these skills, and finding contentment in the process. Brava!

Deborah

Veteran

Gaylene, thanks so much for sharing:). I am nodding along with you. Having a smaller wardrobe, a small intentionally selected colour palette and specific style aesthetic has only served to build my confidence, nurture my creativity and increase my passion for style. When I do encounter boredom, it's usually associated with things like dissatisfaction at work, season changes, and the big one for me is when I feel tired and run down that niggle of feeling bored with everything sneaks in and new purchases don't fix it;).

I believe there is a place for all of us here, no matter what stage of our style journey and I would be very sad if you were not participating. I enjoy greatly your contribution here.

Anonymous

Please keep posting. I've made a conscious decision not to buy for a while, and I appreciate posts that address creative uses with less. I also find it helpful to discuss buying strategies--what to add, when to add, and why.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for sharing, Gaylene. I definitely agree that it can be challenging to know how to participate on the forums when you're not buying much or anything at all, and sticking with tried and true silhouettes.

As re novelty and change, sometimes new fashion trends are change for change's sake, in order to get people to buy. I think there's a tension that you can see here at YLF between the desire for new and the desire to be thoughtful and follow each of our own aesthetic preferences. Most of us, I believe, want to be aware of that cycle but still participate in trends somewhat. It's a tricky thing.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I agree with the others that you need to stay- if this forum was just about accumulating more (albeit Fab) pieces - I think a lot would be lost!

rabbit

Veteran

I was in a wardrobe building phase this year, and looking back I made many many more purchases (and in retrospect, less great choices) at the very beginning of the year. As time went on, what I wanted to wear sharpened in focus, and I stopped duplicating anything so my choices became much more selective, specifically designed to fill a hole that I nothing I owned would work to plug or add a wild-card that worked with a bunch of plainer basics that needed zing.

I quite like variety but I found I didn't necessarily need a lot of pieces to create it, I just needed to tick several boxes with one piece. So I would try for a new piece that both offered color or pattern, texture, and a silhouette contrast from what I already had, and the effects of recombining that piece many new ways would ripple out through my existing wardrobe.

I also found the shopping diets (buy nothing for a particular month) worked really well to ensure that I doubled down and focused on recombining and wearing/updating what I had in this way.

I also acknowledge that for me clothes/fashion is a hobby right now, rather than a need after the minimal uniform requirements have been met (although like you say, advertisements beg to differ). So like any hobby there is a certain amount of time/money investment that brings joy, and if I exceed that, the joy diminishes or isn't worth the life energy diverted from other things. (And for me, the overall budget I follow is in line with other hobbies, not necessities.)

What I find interesting is that I work in a visual field but I'm kind of the opposite of the fashion designers, I work in one medium, a distinct style, and in only one color for the most part, so the creative visual play of clothes offers a nice balance to this for right now. But like you say, you don't have to OWN something to enjoy it visually, you just have to look at it.

Classically Casual

Veteran

I too selfishly hope you stay with us, Gaylene. You always have interesting points of view to share.

I'm curious to know how you're managing your outdoor gear as well as four seasons of apparel. I don't have a lot of space either, but I still haven't figured some of this out. We've had a cold snap here. After several consecutive days of being cold, even indoors, I'm finally warm today. My outfit, however, would qualify as strange to just about anyone: layers upon layers culminating in fleece.

How did you decide which wardrobe items to keep ( besides color)? Did you mentally try to think through most scenarios in your new life including weather related situations?

kkards

Veteran

Gaylene, as you say, your interest in fashion has not diminished, just you buying of clothes has. For that reason alone, I think it benefits us all to have your voice hear here.

unfrumped

Veteran

Angie does some occasional re-mixing posts and there are bloggers who have a large emphasis on that.
I think we could almost use a category--or at least I know I'd like some "alerts" to issues such as, "how to wear last year's ____ in new ways" !
It might be color--how to wear that old dark red thing with a new color!
How to wear BF jeans not rolled the same way every time!
How to wear that older tailored fit sweater you paid $$ for and not look uptight/dorky.
Oxfords--again?
Or what I'm expecting--why are you wearing your clothes so big! How to rein in fluid and oversized sweaters (actually that's on the runways now, apparently).

That sort of thing.

There is a lot about modern classics being actually continually updated versions of a classic style, but that can't be do-able for every item every year (new version of blazer, coat, leather jacket, tennies, and on and on).
Also what bettycrocker said--keep distilling what are strategic purchases.

I think there are a lot of posts in the blog actually about that, but you kind of have to look for the elements that don't require a new purchase.

A lot of this leads me to give more thought to the very limited number of new items per year--I think you discussed that once. I'm not yet at the French 5 pieces per (2) season, but really I can almost see myself there as I'm getting closer to understanding the strategic, outfit-making/changing items.

Elly

Veteran

Gaylene, I agree that the forum is a wonderful place, and not just for those who are adding. I know I am in acquisition now, but for many years I sat here and talked ideas and played in my closet because of space and budget concerns. I'm currently adding to get my outfit numbers up high enough so I don't have to stress about pre-planning laundry. I'm thinking 9 outfits (and by that I mean 9 tops, since I rarely re-wear a top without laundering) is my magic number 7 days in a week plus the dirty shirt from last laundry day and the shirt I need while laundry is drying slowly during the winter. Unlike a lot of other ladies here, I have noticed I need more toppers and shoes to prevent pain and boredom. I finally figured that one out --- because my office is 65 degrees on a warm day I wear my topper all day indoors and so my toppers were getting a lot of wear and tear and I was feeling cagey. I need a 4-5 shoe rotation just to keep my feet happy. Still, I love my solid neutrals and am very into textures and the details.

rachylou

Veteran

I feel so inspired by your post, Gaylene. I might need to save your post and read it every day. It's everything I aspire to.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I really enjoyed reading your post! And it ties in with ummlila's link to how often fashion creatives dress themselves in their own 'uniforms' of fashion basics.
I have years of serious under-shopping in my past and I have to say I only recently identified how the whole schtick of shopping, trying things on, taking my clothes on & off again and again, returning, and then integrating new items into actual outfits with new fabrics & fits can become really over stimulating to me. I'm a little aspergersy that way. But I'm probably just an outlier for how many people feel.
Yes, I agree a person can appreciate & even love fashion without over consuming it. And why not hold onto clothing that works and integrate it into a personal style statement that evolves across years rather than weeks or months?

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Oh--- and I believe I have found my magic 'bingo' number of acquisitions per year. I have three capsule seasons: spring Jan-April, summer May-Aug, and fall Sept-Dec, and in each capsule I try to add no more than 12 and no less than 6 new items. Each shopping capsule needs to include one new topper or dress (my hardest items to fit), one bottom (usually premium denim in jeans or a skirt), a pair of shoes or a bag (my favorite items) and either a woven top or a quality knit (because I will avoid these due to their being pricey)... The rest of the items are usually tees (which I LOVE), accessories, and more shoes. Less than 6 items means I'm under shopping and that will ding me down the road when things wear out & I'm left with gaps; more than 12 and I run the risk of over stimulation, lack of attention to detail and general dissatisfaction with my choices. It's great because there are lots of pauses built in that allow me to just wear my stuff and live my life and not think about shopping!

amyjo

I enjoyed your post. I believe that being on a very tight budget when I was in my twenties and early thirties (I'm 44) allowed me to develop a habit of shopping as a type of research on fashion rather than shopping for consumption only! Sometimes I would shop thinking, "what would I get if I had $500". Rather than make me unhappy and give me a bad case of the gotta-have-its, my virtual shopping gave me a sense of peace to think I was investing in and defining my sense of style... without actually spending!

Every so often now I will challenge myself to "dig deeper" in my closet and pull something out that I tend to always wear the same way and do it differently. That's why Angie's blog and site is so helpful for all the great ideas! Today I saw her post on Toffee and Lilac! Love it. I've got toffee and lilac hanging out in my closet and they have never met on my body! But they will soon.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, as usual, you are so wise.

"It's all too easy to confuse novelty with creativity."

Guilty, guilty, guilty.

I find myself incredibly torn. One part of me is easily bored, loves novelty. As Caro has said many times, I am more open to trends now than I was as a younger woman!

For me, that was largely because I could not afford to "indulge" in much as a younger woman. The last few years were the only time in my life when I could enjoy fashion as a genuine hobby.

And I've loved the chance to play with trends.

At the same time, another part of me craves the uniform. That set of pieces that make me feel fabulous all the time and simply "work" for my life and express who I am.

How to reconcile these sides? I honestly do not know.

I need you to help me figure it out!!

When you chose -- how did you choose?

I already have the relatively limited colour palette. As I'll post later in another thread, I suspect that narrowing my silhouettes too far is far more boring for me, personally, than narrowing colour choices -- and this inevitably leads to more clothes because even with a relatively small palette, it's as Beth Ann says -- when you switch up silhouettes, you need the things that "work" with the new silhouette.

It's a serious conundrum. I feel my very best in very simple, streamlined outfits. So this should, in theory, lead to a lean closet.

Yet I get bored with the same items again and again. .

Or do I? Perhaps if I truly had the "blank canvas" uniform -- I would accessorize the yin-yang out of it. Fifty scarves and even 30 pair of shoes are a lot cheaper than an endlessly churning closet....

Caro in Oz

Veteran

"...I've been around here long enough to know that some of the most interesting discussions aren't about buying so I'm not quite ready to cut the cord."

I've been through a similar process as you know. It was obviously fuelled by me BUT many forum members really helped me crystallise my thoughts & helped me put them into action. So I agree that the forum is not just for those of us who are buying.

This Dorothy Parker quote comes to mind whenever boredom is mentioned

“The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.”

Meredith

Veteran

Your post helped me finally summarize what I want from my closet. I want a focused wardrobe filled with items that bring out the best of each other and me.

Tania

Veteran

Thanks for your post. I'm at the beginning of building a small wardrobe, so your words were meaningful to me.

abc

Veteran

Thanks for sharing. I hope to be moving and will be downsizing like you. You give me hope though I must admit right now I feel a lot of anxiety. I always liked your point of view in different threads so it would be a shame if you gave up ylf but of course it's your decision! Thanks again.

Dimity

Gaylene, I would be glad to share thoughts about clothing with it necessarily being a conversation about acquisition. Clothes are a language that expresses our sense of self as well as our aspirations and I wouldn't want that to be drowned out by buying. I love Unfrumped's comment about the usefulness of a category for re-styling older clothes. I would appreciate that.

I understand what it's like to lose a great deal of a well-loved and thoughtfully put together wardrobe, as I moved from one of the coldest climates to one of the hottest and most of my clothes, even the summer ones, were absolutely useless. Then I moved from a place with a walk in robe to a tiny one bedroom apartment and had to get rid of new things I'd just bought. Then I left a high-paid job to become a graduate student and my professional clothes were inappropriate, but my budget is minuscule and I don't buy a lot but I do try to learn more about what I like to wear and what works for my new life.

Sal

Veteran

What a well thought post Gaylene. You put down in words so eloquently what I think. It sounds like you are in a great place!

I personally don't add a lot of new pieces each year to my wardrobe, one pair of shoes this summer, and one pair of boots this winter, and probably about 18-20 clothing pieces per year. I am not including exercise gear and underwear here. I think I could do better, to get down to 12-14 but I am not quite there yet with my base pieces to allow that.

Thanks!

amiable

Veteran

Great post, Gaylene - thanks for sharing your insights. And I agree. A smaller wardrobe makes it easier and more fun for me to get dressed too! But I find that I want something new and interesting to add to it at least twice a year. (A current fun print, I think, is what I want to add about twice a year - since most of my wardrobe is solids. I think I missed my chance though for this fall/winter).

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

An excellent example of one of the interesting posts that is not about buying. The tension between acquiring and minimizing and dressing as a necessity and a hobby seems to fuel a lot of great discussions here. Add me to the list that very much appreciate your posts and hope you stick around.

Carla

Veteran

My relocation earned me a walk in closet, vs the tiny one I had before. However, due to putting a lot of energy (and money!) into the new house...the one we expect to be our last...I haven't added much (other than low heeled shoes). Furthermore, DH and I have picked out our retirement dates, so I really need to think about clothing differently.

That said, I am still griped by a passion for fashion as a way of creative self expression, and I am inspired daily by what I see and read in this forum!

Gaylene, I hope you continue to participate. I appreciate your wisdom and insight, and would be interested in learning more about your pared down and carefully curated wardrobe.

catgirl

Veteran

This is a fantastic thread and I will come back and respond in detail - running out the door to dinner. But I just needed to say: Don't leave us! Pleeeeeeeze? You are a major part of our best philosophical discussions here.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Una said. That, too.

Elly

Veteran

See Gaylene, I think this has already turned into a fabulous thread. While we all love fashion and many ladies are excited about new color combos and trends there are also lots of threads about wardrobe management and celebrating finding the perfect item we've carefully been searching for. I'm interested in wearing my clothes out, and definitely will be experimenting over the next few seasons with how much I need to keep my turnover at a happy level while maximizing comfort and variety.

Adelfa

Veteran

In terms of the forum--a few months ago I felt my wardrobe was just where I needed it to be (for Summer) and I took a little break from the Forum because I needed it to stop buying things. At the time it was necessary. A month or two later I was able to come back and enjoy what seemed relevant to me, without restarting the buying cycle I'd been in.

I think participating here is not an all or nothing thing, fortunately. I am happiest when my wardrobe is on the small side, and I can keep it that way if I'm careful about the time I spend here, and the type of post I focus on!

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