"it's all too easy to confuse novelty with creativity"--This passage spoke to me in particular. Couldn't agree more.

Gaylene - I'm selfish. I hope you don't leave. I too am pretty much here for "the chat." I too keep a very limited color palate (black/gray/denim and a hint of white here and there) and I'm a total uniform dresser. My style choices are not the most popular - long jackets, leggings, tunics/minidresses) - I'm not looking to change, or seeking permission, or wanting to be trendy. I'm trying to figure out how I want to express myself with my clothing. I want to feel great in what I'm wearing and (okay I'm just going to lay this out there) I don't really care if others like it - if I feel the outfit is appropriate/professional/elegant/authentic, I'm good. I am just looking to be my own best most authentic self. No one can help me with that but me - so wiw, yay/nay/k/r - are not my focus. But I do find the conversations we've had on style so helpful. Everyone makes such excellent points and helps me sort out my own thoughts - which helps me progress on my journey. I think the forum is an extraordinary sounding board and your comments have always been incredibly insightful and thought provoking. Waves to Caro! So I hope you'll stay and I' hope we can have more thought provoking and fascinating conversations!!

Oh please don't cut the cord! You are such a pillar around here and add so much to the discussions. I really appreciate your thoughtful threads and responses. Your analysis of your closet now and how you are feeling about it is so thought-provoking. I'm not nearly as well spoken or well written, but I can say that I appreciate your presence here so much. The philosophical aspect of fashion is just as important (or more so) as posting WIWs.

Yes, like gryffin I can see that I am dressing more and more to please myself. The first time I participated in YLF about 4 years ago I really was here to glean new insights into dressing for body type, hemlines, proportions, etc. But I began to be annoyed when I would post a WIW in my favorite 10-year old Fryes and someone inevitably would say 'Have you considered a more delicate and feminine boot?' Umm, no... I'm the girl who's all about the not feminine & delicate boots thankyouverramuch!! To the forums credit, I think people have become much more open minded over the years and I love the new directions like JFE that allow for different goals than rigid figure flattery. Anyway, I try to remember that a lot of online fashion is about acquisition & commerce, but the heart of real life fashion -- for me -- is on POV and retention. And discussions on this forum about brands and choices continue to enlighten.

Styles,in my opinion, is not about acquisition. The fact that you have closet nirvana with a smaller wardrobe is testament to that.

Frankly, sometimes it is a breath of fresh air to hear you say "No, I am not adding that to my closet." Toffee and cream may be on trend, but I am not making room in my closet or budget for it.

I know I have personally confused the thrill of the hunt with the joy of owning and wearing. That really came home to me this year as I managed a small maternity wardrobe. I can get by with a lot less. And fit and comfort are paramount. Or should be.

I do hope you will stay and continue to share your wisdom and insight. I fear this is selfish on my part as I have learned much from your posts even though I have not been able to give you the same back.

I've had similar thought, Gaylene, so I appreciate you sharing yours in such a thoughtful way. I am really quite happy with my wardrobe, though it is larger than it needs to be and larger than I ultimately want. But I'm not going to get rid of anything just to reach an arbitrary number. I'm not moving (yet) so I don't have a need to downsize right now!

I believe that you are more disciplined than I am in that I am still tempted by things I see posted here. In my time here I have tried styles that others wore, some successfully but probably more that weren't right for me. I've made progress in not buying just to add variety. I want my closet to be filled with things that I love, feel like me, and enjoy wearing. And I think I'm there.

I too have thought that it might be better to not participate here as I am not in the wardrobe building phase and I've moved away from posting WIW. I don't post K/R items because I know if I really want something or not.

But as others have mentioned, there are some good discussions here and those keep me coming back. Yours is a wise and thoughtful voice in those discussions so I hope that you will continue to participate.

Susie, I was missing your WIW posts.

Ultimately, we all need to do what works for us/ is right. But I think there is a place for more than acquisition talk on this forum. I hope there is!

We're all at different places in our style adventures. Some are building a wardrobe from scratch and need to buy a fair bit. Some are switching styles or life has thrown the a loop and they need different clothes to adapt. Some enjoy variety and buying is a hobby. Some have limited budgets. Some are young or new to fashion and need to play with trends to discover "their" look. Others are older or more experienced and ready to hone in on a signature style.

It's all good. And interesting to discuss.

I'm totally gonna steal thimbelina's idea about number of items to aim for per season, btw.

I think it is hard to know how to participate on the forums when your interests have shifted, but I for one am glad that we have active members with such diverse backgrounds of budget, wardrobe size, and lifestyle.

Sorry for not getting back sooner, but I got up a bit earlier this morning so I’d have a bit of quiet time to respond to all of you. Thanks for all the support—and for finding out that I’m not the only one who is redefining the role that YLF and fashion is playing in her life.

First let me say unequivocally that I don’t think that a small wardrobe works for every woman. Same goes for a restricted colour palette—it works for ME, but certainly wouldn’t satisfy everyone. I think sometimes it’s too easy to give off the implication that small is better, or that monotone is more stylish, or quality trumps quantity—in short, that some choices are better than others. It took severe downsizing to make me realize that I really am happier with fewer choices at this stage of my life, but I suspect that my feelings about this are as much due to age and lifestyle as to any personal philosophy.

I so appreciate all your comments; there are a couple of comments, though, that I’d like to respond to in a bit more depth, if that is OK.

Thimblelina: It was Ummila’s post about fashion creatives that made me want to put down some of my thoughts. I originally was going to reply on her thread, but decided that it might be better to start my own. And you, Amyjo, Gryffin, Gradfashionista, Susie and Thistle make me feel I’m not alone in thinking that making a distinction between acquiring and admiring might be a reasonable way to indulge my interest in fashion and participate in a fashion forum. Some of us need, and love, both, but I think equating the two might be one of the reasons that people leave forums like YLF. That seems a shame since Angie has never been one to encourage overconsumption. I also like your emphasis that real-life fashion ought to be about POV and retention, not acquisition and commerce. Wise words!

Unfrumped: You’ve astutely hit on exactly what has happened to me over the past couple of years. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s possible to know what will fit your future needs—which kind of puts a big dent into the idea of “investment” dressing. I suspect that following your heart is probably as good a guide as any; I know that the pieces that I couldn’t bear to part with are now in regular rotation because I now consider them everyday wear. If they get dirty, they get cleaned; if torn, mended—having a tiny closet means wearing everything constantly. Quality pieces do stand up better to this treatment, and I’m much more apt to consider cleaning as part of the cost of owning a piece. A bargain piece isn’t a bargain if I can’t wash it or have to worry about getting a spot on it.

Beth Ann: I’ve really been trying to avoid too much duplication. It really seems true that one colour gets worn more than another, and I suspect that I’d get bored more easily if all my tops were more or less the same shape. Finding a new style is more work, but, ultimately, seems more satisfying because I get to choose between a woven shirt, a V-neck sweater, or a polo neck—to say nothing of possible combinations. But Elly’s example is exactly what I was trying to say earlier; lifestyle, work, and age play a huge part in determining what constitutes a reasonable size wardrobe. I know that when I was working, I could never have reduced my wardrobe to half a dozen tops—duplication was a necessity, not an indulgence!

Rabbit: Ticking several boxes with one piece is a good way of putting it. It’s harder and takes more time and effort, but I keep thinking isn’t that what a hobby ought to be? And I’d never feel I needed to OWN every book or painting that intrigued me or grabbed my attention.

Suz: It’s strange how much more I enjoy getting dressed now that I don’t think of “holes” or “needs”. I just wear what I have—anything else is a “want”. I think it works because I’ve culled to only the items that flatter me and make me feel like me when I wear them. Actually that ended up being my litmus test when I sorted through my previous closet. If something made me feel good about myself and my body, it stayed; if I had to pause to think about it, off it went. Oddly, when I looked at what I kept using that method, everything more or less flowed together almost seamlessly at the end. I’m sure logical analysis and quantifying work well for some people, but obviously those methods ended up being less than helpful for me when it came to wardrobe building. Maybe it’s just too easy for me to turn a “want” into a “hole” and then a “need”? I’m pretty good at rationalizations.

CC: Yes, the outdoor gear was actually harder to cull than skirts and shirts because much of it was bought for specific situations and purposes—and the connotations and emotional ties were much harder to ignore. I tried to be realistic about what activities were likely to be part of my future and to give the nod to things that could be worn for more than one activity. I also realized that I didn’t need to be so specialized—I’m wearing cashmere on ski slopes!

Rachylou: thanks—and you know that I love anything that you say on this forum! You make me laugh more than anyone else I’ve ever met. And Bettycrocker—can I say how much I giggle at that image of the perfect 60s housewife that pops into my head when I read your name! And thanks for the words of support, kkards, abc, and jackiec-- they mean a lot to me.

Deb and Caro: Both of you have been such an inspiration to me because I know both of you have chosen to work with a small wardrobe and limited palette. And Dorothy Parker hits the target with that quote!

Laura, Lyn D., Kiwigal, Amiable, Shevia, Carla, Una, Elly, Adelfa, Susie, Meredith, Tania, Dimity, Suz: Isn’t it interesting how we all need to figure out for ourselves what is “right” for our lives and closets—and how helpful it is to watch others work through the process. I know I’ve learned so much from all of you. That’s why it makes me sad to see members leave the forum because they wanted to restrict their purchasing. Everyone has to do what is right for her, but it still leaves a hole.

I’m also so glad that many of you support my feelings that YLF isn’t just about acquiring more stuff, but, instead, is a welcoming place for all of us to play around with fashion—even if some of us are just wanting to window shop for a while.

I loved reading all the wisdom on this thread! Gaylene, I nodded along when you said this to Suz:

It’s strange how much more I enjoy getting dressed now that I don’t
think of “holes” or “needs”. I just wear what I have—anything else is a
“want”. I think it works because I’ve culled to only the items that
flatter me and make me feel like me when I wear them.

I'm down to very few pieces right now and it's not really a workable wardrobe because it takes too much planning and laundry for my taste, but I'm feeling very happy wearing most of the few pieces I have left. I enjoy just getting dressed and concentrating on what I have and what I can do with it, instead of worrying about all the replacements I "need". That's not to say that I will stop looking for them, but I think I can take joy out of my wardrobe all the same until I find them.

Add my voice to the chorus of please don't leave. It makes me sad that people feel the need to leave just because they aren't doing a lot of acquiring. It's nice to see new stuff, but it's the philosophical discussions and analysis posts that keep me coming back.

Thank you for sharing your insights, Gaylene. I too hope you don't leave. Analysis, wardrobe management, and style refinement posts - in short, being able to discuss style - are what interest me most about the forum.

Very good insight! I definitely hear you on the whole need vs. want issue, definitely a reminder to someone like me who is trying to build up a wardrobe (without going broke) to step
back and really look at my purchases and maybe even stop buying for a bit.

Gaylene: I just wanted to say "thank you" and to acknowledge how interesting and thought provoking this post is /has been. I've read through every comment, and thought a fair bit about what I am looking for from this forum and what my role will be. I am not going to be a k/r poster and like you, I like what I like, and feel I have a pretty decent handle on what works on me and what doesn't. What draws me here is the dream of having the perfect wardrobe. In my wildest dreams, I'd have a vintage rolling rack in my bedroom with about 15 pieces of beautiful clothing on it. Each piece would be the best of the best. No more decisions, and no more worrying that a better white tshirt or pair of jeans were out there somewhere for me to find. I don't have the self-confidence however to sit comfortably with my choices and worry that I don't look as good as I could if I had the right colours in my closet. But I don't want to fall into the acquisition trap - it doesn't make me feel good, and it only adds to the confusion. So - this is a long-winded way of saying i haven't figured out why i am here and what I want of it - but I do enjoy the more philosophical and real-life conversations that you and a few others contribute here. Thanks again.

Gaylene, thanks again for bringing up this topic. I continued to think about this thread all day - climbing, errands, making dinner.

Honestly I think everyone has different areas in which they are at peace or restless. I have a friend who loves to travel and never wants to visit the same place twice. Meanwhile, her husband is of the mindset that it is more meaningful to live in one place forever and get to know it intimately. Neither is right or wrong, of course. It's all in what makes your heart sing.

As with documentaries, I think you can go wide or you can go deep with a closet, but to do both requires a lot more money, effort, and time than most of us would find worthwhile.

There are no other parts of my life in which I'm as fickle as I am with clothing. I've been with my husband 21 years. I have a pretty solid number of friends that have remained throughout the ages. I love to travel but am content to be home also. I have passions and pursue them as best I can. The ONLY area where I quest, endlessly and mostly with joy, is fashion. You gotta run wild somewhere, and this isn't the worst way to do it, as long as it's fun and not breaking the bank.

Not that I don't admire and envy those of you who are content with your closets and style - it must be quite a place to be.

Chiming in late, and with nothing insightful to add, but just to say my giving up on my pants/boots project tonight fits in so well with your point. I was quite content with the few pairs of pants I found last year and they worked perfectly in my life. So why, now that flares, boot cuts and wide legs are finally showing up again, do I decide that I really "need" to find some skinnies that work for me?!

Supremely manufactured, I'd say. Just born of looking at so many Fab fabbers and wishing for a fantasy life where I have no limitations and can be more stylish than I am.

So I get wondering if it helps me or anyone else for me to be here...but I can tell you that it helps me for you to be here! I love your kindness and great insights and always enjoy your posts and contributions.

I find it disappointing when people decide to leave the forum due to lack of constant acquisition. Many people (i.e. ME) could learn a lot from those with smaller wardrobes and being happier with less. Additionally, I think it could teach me a lot to see WIWs from those with smaller wardrobes, just to reinforce that smaller doesn't mean boring or constant repetition of the same things.

Honestly, I do not have a small wardrobe, and yet I feel like I wear many of the same things over again anyway. Pieces I was so sure about when I purchased them just haven't worked out the way I had hoped. I think I really need to take stock of what I have and not keep shopping when I don't even really know what I am looking for.

I hope you stay involved in the forum. Always enjoy reading your thoughtful comments.

Great thread.

It's fascinating to read your experience with downsizing your wardrobe. As always, I find your observations so wise and your writing so engaging. You really have a way with words, Gaylene. I like your acquiring versus admiring rubric. Indeed, the most interesting threads to me often have little or nothing to do with acquisition.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for starting another thought provoking thread, Gaylene.

As others have commented, when I feel bored with my wardrobe it often reflects dissatisfaction with another area of life. That said, I do like a little fresh something occasionally...... Giggle. I love the satisfaction of mixing up old and new to create something that reflects me!

Gaylene, I would also like to hear more about your specific choices for your " keepers" and their multitasking.
I liked the part about deciding how an item made you feel, but sometimes I'm even stumped there until somehow I figure out what was confusing me. Sometimes it's thinking how I OUGHT to feel, or ought to look like, instead if listening to the real inner voice.
Those types of insights help me with my existing wardrobe and purchases as well thinking longer- term.

Once again, Gaylene sparks great conversation! I hope you're realizing just how much you'd be missed here if you did decide to leave. But of course, you need to do what's best for you.

One thing I really appreciate about this forum is its openness to people in all stages of their journey. And I also appreciate insight into the smaller, not-purchase crazy wardrobes just as much as the K/R, WIW, "look what I found" posts. In fact reading posts about purging and curating smaller more functional wardrobes helps me a lot in realizing that all wardrobe problems are not solved with a credit card. And like many have said, I'd LOVE to see more posts by people who do repeat a lot. I think it would help see what pieces are proving themselves to be workhorses, and why certain things seem to have more longevity.

Love threads like this

So much to think about here.

Gaylene, I really hope you won't leave YLF either. Your insight would really be missed so much. Of course it is understandable that we all have our real lives to live and have to do what we feel is best for ourselves.

I wonder sometimes if I should limit my YLF viewing to "People I Watch" so that I can better relate to those going in the same direction (or those who have already succeeded and are willing to share their wisdom.) Sometimes I too am swayed by "new" things as opposed to things that I should be paying attention to for myself. But I feel like I "need' to respond to some of the new members because when I was a new member I would have felt left out if the older members never responded to me.

I've been working on building a small wardrobe myself. Culling things every few months for the past couple of years. My closet is better now, but I still find days when I stand there wondering "what do I *feel* like wearing today...?" I may not ever be able to get rid of that feeling as it might just be part of me, but I still dream of that *perfect* set of clothing where everything is so wonderful, that's it's really just a question of "what color do I want to wear today?" I don't really want to have to think about skinnies versus BFs and what shoes will work with them. But is this really even possible? I don't know yet.

Gaylene, please don't leave!

I too come here mostly to chat. Like you, I've limited my colour palette and pared down my choices, and while I don't have a ban on purchasing, I very seldom acquire new things. I literally never try to emulate an outfit I've seen another woman wear on the blog or forum (although I admire plenty). Also, I almost never post WIW photos (partly because I still can't get my head wrapped around the idea of taking selfies -- something I'm deeply uncomfortable with --and posting them on the internet), so I'm not really participating much in that regard. But I've found, as you've said, that "some of the most interesting discussions aren't about buying". We have all kinds of neat conversations here, on the topic of style and just about everything else. It's like a virtual coffee klatch with intelligent women who want to talk about things besides the prices of products at Costco. Your contributions are always insightful and valuable. The forum would be poorer without them.

As I sit here and type, I am wearing my uniform of jeans, boots, black tee shirt, and belt. What you say is so true: "Working with a restricted color palette of solid neutrals Is easier because it forces me to concentrate on fit, texture, and small details". My current outfit sounds boring, but includes a perfectly-fitting pair of jeans, a top that drapes just so, a high-quality thick brown leather belt with subtle and elegant buckle, and a kick-ass pair of boots. Throw on a stylish coat and I am ready for anything. The devil is in the details, and the total is greater than the sum of the parts.

I also like what you said about novelty not being the same as creativity. I'm going to go one step further and suggest that it is the presence of limitations that actually leads to creativity. I'm not just talking fashion here. It's true of almost everything. Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where a menacing Arab wielding a machete makes a great show of his prowess, spinning and slicing in an intimidating way, and Indiana Jones just pulls out his gun and shoots him? It was actually supposed to be a hand-to-hand combat scene. Unfortunately Harrison Ford was really ill with the flu that day; he was all sweaty and shaky and wasn't up to a vigorous duel. He suggested, why don't I just pull out my gun and shoot him instead? And the result was probably one of the best scenes in action movie history. Harrison Ford's solution was more creative (and humorous) than a been-there-done-that sword fight scene, but it only happened because of the limitations he faced on that day of filming.

Anyway, this is all by way of saying that I'm totally in the same mood you are, fashion-wise, and I hope you choose to keep contributing to the forum. Also, I hope you are enjoying your new home!