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Body Acceptance

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I've had weight issues since I was 12 and body acceptance issues for just as long. I've been every size from 6 to 22 back to 6 and currently back up to 14. Thanks to my PCOS and endocrine imbalance losing weight and keeping it off is difficult. Oh I can do it if I focus religiously and never slip but I love to get together with my BFF's for happy hour or cake and coffee and I don't want to have to make constant sacrifices.

So you know what Shannon's body? I'm going to accept you. Your constant negativity is wearing me out and I'm sick and tired of hating myself. It doesn't help me one.darned.bit!

Now don't mistake this for letting myself go,giving up and buying xxl no name sweat pants to live in. I will continue to try and be healthier. But in the meantime I'm going to love myself, smile, and strut my stuff.

Just sayin'...

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41 replies

Latest reply was from BlondeAmbition

Anonymous

Same. Thanks for this.

marianna

Veteran

Love this. I'm not quite there yet but hope to get there one day.

Colette

Veteran

I can totally relate.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm working on it too. It's certainly a one-day-at-a-time kind of thing, isn't it? Some days come easier than others.

Sally

Veteran

Ditto. I can relate to this. As I said in another post I'm embracing health whatever that looks like.

Momo

Veteran

Perfect.

Angela K

Veteran

Perfectly worded. Thank you. I'm at this point in my life as well. Trying to see my body through eyes of kindness and acceptance. I'm a work in progress, both mentally and physically. We all have to learn to accept ourselves without giving up or giving in. With encouragement we can all succeed! ☺️

Aziraphale

Veteran

Shannon, well said. Acceptance is the only thing you can do, and it is good for your soul.

If it helps, you are one of many women who struggle with body issues. I've thought long and hard about why this might be so, and I don't think the answer is as simple as "society makes us insecure" (although that may be part of the reason). I struggled with body issues too -- and I have been underweight my entire life. (Being underweight yet seeing a fat body in the mirror is a different, special kind of hell). Acceptance was key to moving forward. Pregnancy challenged that. Aging is now challenging it again.

One thing I have learned in art school (after drawing an awful lot of nudes!) is that there is no one type of beautiful body. Also, the female form is more fun to draw than the male one, lol -- no matter what her shape.

catgirl

Veteran

I posted this same quote a while back, Shannon (probably while you were gone) because I totally agree. My body and I are out of sorts lately because of issues that I'm hoping surgery will fix, but I look at that as part of being friends.

My BFF and I were talking about how we just can't seem to lose those impossible clinging pounds, and really it's because we'd rather be with each other laughing and eating spicy cashews after a long walk than starving ourselves and being miserable. So I look at the extra bits as the price I pay for a little more joy.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YES. YES. YES, Shannon.

Life is too short to not have tea and cake with friends. Finding that sweet spot between "not letting it all go" and "obsessive comparing and despairing" is what self-acceptance and leading a happy life is all about. Much love to you and your body, Shannon.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Well said!! Your body is giving you a hug right now.

Anonymous

I shared this with a friend just this morning, and I'll share it again here too , if you don't mind

I read something on Facebook over the the weekend - a post from a mother witnessing her daughter (age indeterminate but irrelevant) expressing hate and /or self loathing over her body. It was a staged/Dove commercial type of thing, but anyways....

The mother was absolutely devastated that the daughter she "created" and gave birth to was unhappy with herself, that self that the mother gave to her. And I just about died. It broke my heart. It also reminded me of when I blithely informed my mother when I was about 32 that I didn't know if I even wanted children. And she was devastated. I didnt' get it - until many years later . But this was kind of the same thing - rejecting that which your mother gave you. I have made it my life's mission to NEVER discuss nor think aloud about myself in front of my daughter (or my husband, who hates that kind of talk too) but overnight , but because of this on-line post, I vowed never to disrespect my mother like that again. Sure, she isn't at "fault" for me eating crackers and nuts and drinking wine, but she gave me the gift of this body, and I cannot hate it. How could we do that? I won't.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Beautiful just like you Shannon.

catseye

Veteran

Love your post. Cannot say it any better.

Aziraphale

Veteran

LisaP, I like what you said about not complaining about your own body in front of your daughters (and trying to not even think it!). In my personal case, the woman who "gave me the gift of this body" also gave me away to strangers at the hospital, so I'll never know what she thought. The kind strangers who adopted me tried their best, but my real (i.e. adoptive mother) hated her own body, and was vocal about it. It sunk in. Nurture counts for a lot.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Just running out the door and will comment more tomorrow. I appreciate your replies.

When I think of all the time and energy I have wasted over the last 40 years engaged in self talk - what a disservice to myself.

unfrumped

Veteran

Right on.

That's one reason why I like healthy programs that focus on what TO do rather than not do. Such as , eat 7 fruits and vegetables daily, instead of, don't eat that. Same for modest exercise and drinking water. I can drink more water daily and not just " instead of" something else. Overall it will add to health but less sense of deprivation.

Deborah

Veteran

I want to give you a big hug! (Hope you're a hugger lol). You are beautiful inside and out no matter what number is on you clothes. This is such a hard lesson to learn. Some days I'm good with it, other days not so much xx

amiable

Veteran

Thank you Shannon! I'm almost there myself. I decided this year that I didn't want to be obsessive about my size any more. And that resulted in my gaining weight really quickly, which I wasn't prepared for.... Now I'm always hoping that I don't run into someone I know, in fear that they'll just be thinking "wow, she's gaining weight really quickly". I know what I want to do - watch what I eat, but not be obsessive, and exercise because it feels good and makes life more manageable, not to beat my body into shape. And I'm getting there in thinking that way, just am not quite all the way there yet.

Thanks for setting an example!

Nebraskim

Veteran

I admire you for this. In my world, if I could just get to "hate my body less," it would be a breakthrough. I am lucky to able to have incredible almost eating disorder like discipline about food and exercise. Otherwise. Well, I shudder to think of that.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Oh Shannon this is absolutely beautiful. Be kind to yourself. Love it.

Chris987

Veteran

Such PERFECT words. Another thing to print and hang up on the wall.

It all boils down to treating yourself and your body the same way you treat your best friend, lover, child, or anyone else you truly love and cherish. It just seems to be so much work to turn that inward

I have found that the better I am at accepting/loving my body, the better I am at accepting all the other aspects of myself.

Traci

Veteran

Shannon, we have similar petite builds, with you being a size or two smaller than me most of the time...so you've been my role model for many years. Reading this from you reminds me how easily we look at a smiling picture and impart confidence and joy, when there's likely lots more than that going on.

You are beautiful and inspirational just the way you are. Congratulations on finally seeing that for yourself!

Anonymous

Those are words to live by, Transcona Sharon. I've come to think of my body as my servant. I get a lot more loyalty out it when I love it and care for it, rather than curse it and punish it. I try to appreciate it rather than criticize it (although it does let me down now and again). Thanks for a thought-provoking thread.

RobinF

Veteran

Love this! Good for you. I am always fighting this battle myself and agree that it is easier some days than others. I'll add this to my encouraging thoughts for those tough days.

Sara L.

Veteran

I love this! I decided there was a quality of life factor that I needed to take into account. I can keep the weight off but I can't drink any liquid calories (soda, wine, beer) and I have to work out 5 times a week. While I generally don't mind exercising, I start to hate it when I work out that often and really enjoy the occasional glass of wine with dinner or beer on the patio. I've come to terms with gaining some weight in exchange for that quality of life.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Sara - you have really hit the nail on the head regarding "quality of life". When I lost 75 pounds 10 years ago on Weight Watchers, I'll be honest - losing it wasn't that difficult. Keeping it off? That was another story. For anyone who remembers the old WW points system, I could only eat 18-20 points per day in order to maintain my weight. I was hungry all the time and more than a bit miserable. I got so tired of saying no to everything.

Obviously I've gone too far the other way but I'm working on finding balance. I'm never going to be skinny - my body just isn't built that way and doesn't work that way. It's like trying to put a round peg into a square hole.

But I'm working on getting myself to a healthier me. And that's what it's all about.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Shannon, I've heard that it's near impossible to maintain a body weight that's more than 10 or so pounds off the "set point" that your body wants to be at -- although that set point can change (upwards) as we age. So you're right; struggling to be a shape your body is fighting against is a losing battle.

Not that we shouldn't all try to eat healthy food and exercise, of course!

Thirkellgirl

Veteran

Let me preface this by saying "I know what I look like." I'm not oblivious to the tens of extra pounds I've put on in the past decade since my mom became quite ill and passed away. I've fought fifteen-ish back off a couple times. I can't say "I'm trying and making progress" all the time, so I won't. Sometimes I try harder to fight some weight off than at other times. But I can say that I am accepting of my current body and all its flaws in a way I never was when I weighed 120 pounds and ran every day. I've looked at too many photos from the past and remembered how terrible I thought I looked at that time, and now think "you didn't look bad at all," and I no longer avoid having my photo taken the way I used to. It is what it is, I yam what I yam, and I have permanently silenced the voices in my head that accused me. Yes, in some ways I *have "let myself go," and I'm ok with that.

You are absolutely on the right track. Good for you.

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