Recently someone did a big study of the "Biggest Losers" and what happens to them afterwards. Almost all of them gain it back, and it's not just because they lost it too quickly, apparently. It seems the body simply fights to keep the weight on. Their metabolisms slowed down; they had to eat less than most people of their weight to keep the weight off.

Those people are probably at an extreme end because after all, they had more to lose than most of us. But for anyone who has lost significant weight, maintaining is a heck of a lot harder than losing. Most of us can make a "project" of losing for a time. It's a goal and we work towards it, and man, does it feel good to achieve it! But unless we commit to major lifestyle change, we go back to our former habits and then the pounds come back.

The thing is, there's a reason we have those habits, right? They support us in some way. Nobody can give up all her supports and little joys and feel okay.

I want to be healthy and fit but I also want to be happy. For me, happiness includes cake with friends, wine with dinner, delicious meals out once in a while and never ever thinking about calories or counting them. It also includes regular but not obsessive exercise. Lately that has fallen by the wayside because I've had so many different health and family issues going on. I am mostly at peace with the resulting weight gain. I was scheduled for an exercise class this morning and woke up still feeling gross from the dental surgery and I said, you know what, body? You're going to rest today. And my body said thank you!

Well said Shannon. I too have fought my body for decades. Diets have made me miserable and they have never worked long term. It wasn't until I discovered Intuitive Eating that I started to feel healthy and normal around food because 2 decades of dieting had made me develop a pretty frightful eating disorder. Now all that is different. Am I skinny? No, and I probably never will be. But I love my body, I love to dress it fashionably and all because I've learned how to accept myself as I am. I have learned that beauty does not come in only a size 6. I am no longer a slave of the scale and I have learned that I am quite a healthy person - I exercise because I love to move, I eat healthy foods because I love how they taste and make me feel, and I eat cake or ice cream without an ounce of guilt. I've gotten rid of all the guilt associated with eating, and have learned to embrace my body as it is. Because it is so much easier to take care of a body that I love than a body that I hate.

Something that has helped me tremendously is to get rid of fashion magazines and even health magazines that are all geared towards skinny beauty. If you look on instagram there are thousands of beautiful women of ALL sizes that are fashion bloggers that inspire me daily. It was very difficult for me to accept my size 16 body as beautiful when all I was looking at was mainstream media. So stop looking at the mainstream fashion and take a look at the real women who are making a real mark in fashion and beauty on social media right now.

I was also going to reference the Biggest Losers results and news reports; thanks, Suz.

That is a real eye-opener and also points out need for more research and
methods on weight maintenance. We are still just in the weeds !

An important point about those data are the effects of shame. Because society is judging all the time and assuming that all affected people are just lazy and eating loads.

When instead we are learning that there are actually severmetabolism problems, the person may be eating way less than a normal diet and exercising more and still not maintaining and IS hungry all the time--for real--due to ramped up other hormones that function to make you eat more to regain the weight.

Whereas all the routine diet hype is saying, "eat our diet plan and you will never be hungry!"

Again, the point was not to just give up healthy habits, but that barring some new breakthroughs, some kind of balance and moderation is needed, and self-acceptance to keep an even keel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLNTb2zfh3Q I overheard my daughter listening to this video yesterday. Thinking about this video and this thread made me wonder how women would react to this same experiment? Would we realize we actually DO prefer the way we already look? or would this just affirm our wishes to look "better"?

Traci, I think the Korean-American guy's statement that he still thought he looked fat post-photoshop says it all. Body dysmorphia is obviously an issue for guys, too.

That was great, Traci. (I love those guys!) Thank you for sharing.

What a great conversation! So true that I look back and think I looked great when I felt like I looked fat! Too bad we can't go backwards.

Traci, that video was fun. I guess guys go through it too. Although I still think society is easier on guys regarding weight.

I was watching a Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks last week --- sorry, no Canadian parks were included, although I'm a big fan of the ones I've visited! I noticed that the Edwardian turn-of-the-century photos revealed women that would be considered, even without the corsets, plump by modern standards. They were hiking through mountain passes in their woolen skirts and high button boots. I realized in that moment that, while it's true that obesity is a cultural problem, women's bodies are strong and beautiful, and often grow a bit in midlife.

I will eat well, move well, love well, and let the rest go!

Such wisdom! You have all given me much to think about and I am grateful for your input. It helps to know I'm not alone in my mid-life journey

Beth Ann - "I will eat well, move well, love well and let the rest go!" This is going to be my new mantra - brilliant.

I have been struggling for the past 2 years to lose the last 10 pounds or so of the "baby weight". A few weeks ago I took a work trip with 2 coworkers, who are nearly 20 years old. They spent the majority of their time bemoaning their bodies, criticizing themselves for indulging in dessert with dinner, etc. I texted my husband that night and said "I don't want to be them when I reach that age". Since then I haven't stepped on a scale and instead am approaching the day with the question, "Does this honor my body, and make me feel the best me?" And some days, dessert does honor my body - after all who can say no to sharing a sundae with their adorable 6 year old. Other days, honoring my body is skipping dessert and enjoying a hard workout instead.

I'm not 100% there...but I am better than I use to be. Your post, Shannon, just encouraged me to keep striving.

Yes Shannon and Beth Ann-
that line is all the good reasons for us to 'Let Go' rather than "Let Ourselves Go'

Kimlee, it is very fashionable to put ourselves down, you don't hear men do this but for women it's almost mandatory that you put yourself down. Every compliment that someone gives you must in turn lay out one of your own perceived faults. If someone says "You look great" you immediately say "Oh thanks, I wish my stomach didn't stick out so much though." Sitting around with girlfriends the conversation inevitably turns to diets, cleanses, and the latest workout trends. Even the way we talk to little girls sets them up for this mentality. We tell them how cute they are and how pretty their hair is. The message we give them is "your looks are the most important thing about you." It's not hard to see how we've become a society that scrutinizes women so much that we end up pummeling our own self worth.