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Better quality clothes?

Erikajl

For everyday casual dressing I'm trying to change my habits and buy better quality items, but I have an issue. I am always afraid to wear nicer items because I'm afraid I'll get something on it, or ruin it in some way. So, I end up reaching for the not as good items in my closet and I feel safer, but don't feel as refined, savvy, sophisticated, or chic as I would like. Does anyone else have this problem? If not, how do you deal with wearing nicer clothing to casual stuff like errands. I work from home, so I am on the casual side unless I'm networking.

Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from Thin White Duchess

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Good question Erikajl. I do this too. I'm so bad, I even wear t-shirts I don't like around the house because I don't want my newer, nicer ones to fade or lose their shape quicker from washing. It's ridiculous.

Peri

Veteran

I do this too...I won't wear my favorites out to eat because I'm afraid I'll spill or splash something. And yet, out to eat is when you should look nice. I know what you mean, but not really what to do about it!

MRL

Veteran

I used to save things, but them found that sometimes nicer items were only worn a few times and somewhat wasted. So now, if I buy it I wear it.

rabbit

Veteran

Out to eat I've been known to take off a silk scarf and put it in my bag, and do the full tuck napkin into the neck of the shirt thing occasionally if there is red pasta sauce or messy shellfish or something involved that might get around my best attempts to eat neatly. That probably is horrible in terms of table manners, I'm not sure.

I honestly think it's sometimes just practical to wear more worn out t-shirts around the house, depending what you are doing. A tee shirt has a limited life in great condition after all, so I want to be efficient with it.

For me, tracking CPW has helped, because once that has gone down for an item to a level I'm more comfortable with, than I feel like I can wear it around the house more, since it's gone past the period where if its ruined I don't get a good return on investment. Also, the process of getting the CPW down within a reasonable time period forces me to either wear or return clothes more quickly. Sometimes I put clothes that really need to be worn more on one side of the closet for this reason.

DonnaF

Veteran

I started one day at a time, one outfit at a time. I've taken to buying only washable items and skip the DCO. When I'll be eating in a situation where I might spill or get splashed on, I wear more easily washable items. And I wear an apron a LOT at home. I tend to keep my clothing for years and YEARS, so I think it would actually be a good idea if I had to get rid of them due to wear!

I think because I was taught to change into play clothes as soon as I got home from school that I have become a clothes *saver*. It is not really that my play clothes are necessarily more comfy. Those habits and mindset are tough to break. I just have to remind myself that I deserve to look nice and that everybody else in the general public also deserves to see me not looking like a slob.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I used to do this until I bit the bullet & only kept the best stuff. Then I had to wear it I also wear an apron for cooking, washing up etc.

Like Rabbit, the other thing that has been helping me see things differently is keeping a record of the number of times I wear clothes. It's amazing how low the CPW of each item is when you have a small capsule of great clothes. In my case it is a lot cheaper than having masses of fairly ordinary stuff that I only wore once or twice a year. The JPW (joy per wear) is so much better too - something that I now think is THE most important thing

shedev

Veteran

at I wear the item at the first opportunity. The longer it sits in the closet, the harder the concept of this is what I wear and not what I save is for me.

jackiec

Veteran

I get it - absolutely. As a SAHM I'm pretty casual. I find regardless of brand, if I'm wearing knits - which I do every day practically. A I always pull a little hole around the fly of my jeans. No point spending the money on James Perse or Vince when the same thing invariably happens - or a grease splotch or whatever. I stick to basic Gap/Old navy/BR for basic knits etc. You can still get up-to-date silhouettes at a good price there. I'll spend good money on denim b/c I wear it to death. But I get what you're talking about. Today. For example, I was wearing a silk blouse and dress pants since I went to 2 separate Mothers' Day Services at my boys' school. I was home in between for a couple of hours and did not change. I did manage, however, to somehow get a couple of little splotchy stains on the front of my blouse - likely just hand lotion as I fiddled with static cling issues. I thought what the &@%*# point of dressing up when I just ruin it?? So no real solution here but I totally understand.

Carla

Veteran

So, Monday I wore my white jeans for the first time, and got spaghetti sauce on them. Put them in the wash, and they came out clean. Wore them again on Wednesday, somehow managed to get a small drop of wine on them. Put them in the wash....

You get the picture. I do normally like to get more than one wear out of my clothes before they go into the machine, but I do like these new pants...I say, don't save the good stuff. Wear it now. Replace it when you need too. Life is too short.

carter

Veteran

Like Caro said, you just have to get rid of the old stuff. I do change into one old shirt when I cook or clean, but otherwise I feel like I look pretty good. I also radically upgraded my loungewear, so I can relax around the house and still look put together enough if a neighbor rings the bell. This helped me a lot because I always want to up my game to leave the house.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I am trying to buy better quality fabric these days, so even today am wearing a long sleeved silk tee to do errands.
It really does boost my mood to be wearing 'the good stuff' more often!

E

Veteran

Yes, about 4 years ago I realised I had all of these beautiful clothes in my closet but was wearing loungewear frequently, because I spent most of my days at home! I just decided to start getting dressed for myself every day and not worrying about ruining things, and honestly, this many years later, I don't think I've permanently stained a thing yet! I do always make sure I'm wearing an apron (the kind with a 'bib' up top as well as a skirt) when I cook (and rinse dishes! otherwise I always manage to splatter my shirt and have to take immediate frantic anti-stain measures-which just means immediately soaking the area in water to try to stop the fabric absorbing anything), and if I'm doing heavy duty cleaning I'll wear my jeans and a sturdy cotton top, but otherwise I just live my life without getting too hung up on things. I go for walks, including off paths into woods, I play with my crazy niece, my dog jumps up on me, etc., and my clothes don't put up too much fuss. My woolens are fabulously durable, my cottons, even the thin ones, are similarly easy to maintain, and my silk/cotton blends are as easy as cotton. I wear 100% silk blouses in everyday life too, although they are definitely more prone to sweat stains & have a slightly trickier stain removel procedure, so I won't reach for one if my plans for the day include anything with a higher-than-normal mess or sweat potential. My 100% silk knits don't seem as high maintenance though. Regardless, pretty much everything comes clean in the wash (although I launder as infrequently as possible and line/air dry everything it prevent it wearing out)!

Which is a long way of saying, just give it a go wearing your nicer things on a daily basis. I'm willing to bet you'll decide it's worth it, and that it's rare for an unfixable problem to arise (I just use one of those pre-treat sprays on any spots I see before laundering & have always had good luck). After all, clothes are meant to be worn, and if they hang in your closet long enough, they might end up dated or your tastes might change, and then they're 'ruined' for you anyway.

Marillen

I do the exact same, although I'm enabled by hanging out with equally casually-dressed people.

When I get home I immediately change out of whatever I'm wearing and into old t-shirt and beat-up jeans; I care that much about wear-and-tear that I schlub around the house looking like a completely different person!

What helped me is to take the plunge with individual items that I was fretting about; wear one new, nice thing for a day to prove to myself that nothing catastrophic happened to it and it's still in great shape. After two or three wears it becomes less of a big deal.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I find a happy medium with this. I don't have 'grubby' things anymore. That leaves me with only decent options even for lounging or chores.
But . . . I don't subscribe to wearing, say, my DVF silk jersey dress just to sit on the couch and have the cat on my lap. I'm not afraid to wear my clothes in non pristine environments. I've worn my white jeans to a wine tasting, and dribbled red on them (hi five Carla) but it washed out. But I also don't see the use of over washing some of my nicest or more delicate items simply to sit around the house and not be seen by anyone.

unfrumped

Veteran

What Mo said , and also, I learned that if I saved stuff it might no longer be what I want after awhile and then it's lifespan was longer but useless.

You may need some happy- medium items that you can learn are not fragile but still nice. Not indestructible or worthless , either.

Even for " good" items for work, I've learned that they need to seem reasonably durable, and not outrageously dear in cost, or it's not
comfortable to wear them- plus then they would not be good value. They have to still feel like, hey, clothes, and not precious gems.

Windchime

Veteran

And closely related--why oh why do I only stain/rip/otherwise ruin the clothing items I love?! And why are items which I don't care about still in great condition after years of washing and wearing?

I definitely wear my loved items, even if they're more fragile.

Two things for which I reserve not-good-quality clothing: gardening and painting.

Zibbets

Veteran

I've been this way in the past, but I've watched my sweet mom buy too many beautiful clothes, save them for "good" and then either the styles change, her body changes or she just feels like the cut is too young and she doesn't wear them anymore. So I wear my cute stuff for my husband or to work at home or pick up the kids.

Life's too short to wear ugly clothes and/or drink bad wine!

Dee

Veteran

I've also just started buying better quality items over the last year or so and I went through the same dilemma. Honestly, my lifestyle isn't super hard in clothes (no kids, pets, rough job) so the big factor is my own clumsiness. Now, after wearing many items regularly, I've never had anything catastrophic happen, just small problems. Like others mentioned, most stains will come out in the wash or with some gentle scrubbing. Small holes can often be fixed. And I love how some of my nicer items make me look/feel when I wear them. I don't want to end up saving them all only to eventually find that they no longer fit or are in style when I finally wear them.

Sorry for rambling! Mostly, I just kept pushing myself to wear them and found that it got easier.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Bumping what has been expressed already. I only keep clothing that I absolutely love. Not just special occasion outfits. Everyday is a special occasion going to the store shopping or just because. I used to treat my life like this. I think a mindset has to change. Once I began to think I was worthy and stopped waiting for that special occasion things started to fall into place. Life became more than mundane.

Greyscale

Veteran

I used to save nice clothes. Three things I've tried to do:

1. Buy clothes for my actual, cool-casual lifestyle, not an imaginary fancy office job. Then I don't end up with fancy pants that are never worn, which helps me avoid thinking of things as too nice to wear.

2. Buy consignment? If I buy a designer jacket for $50, then I'm ok with treating it the same as a $50 jacket from Target. This is good, because I actually wear the stuff. Eventually it let me ease into buying new high-end clothes.

3. Go for wearable fabrics. I hate wearing synthetics, so I do have a lot of delicates or dry clean only. But if I'm choosing between a fancy lace top and a fancy wool top, I'd go for wool because it's more practical and will last longer - and it's way more my style.

LoriCo

I too, have purged the items from my closet and drawers that were no longer presentable. If I wouldn't even donate it due to a small stain or a hold then I decided I would no longer wear it either, even to work out or clean/cook. Many of these cast offs were cheaper so it wasn't too difficult to turn them into rags.

To get myself to put on nicer outfits, I put off doing my laundry a couple of days to force myself to wear items I'm skipping over.

Someone mentioned aprons for cooking. That's totally on my want list.

Karina

Aprons!!! I often keep my apron on during family mealtime at home. And to echo Greyscale, consignment. Knowing I paid less for an item makes me less frustrated with myself or children about mishaps. I also try to buy trendier items in lighter colors (like a white high/low top) and more "classic" pieces in darker neutrals (such as a black cashmere sweater). I have a reliable stain remover and I even wear white skirts/ dresses/pants at home with a toddler! Only in the last year or so have I made the transition to wearing "the good stuff" at home and I am never going back. It feels great!

rachylou

Veteran

Buy quality rugged items? I have to admit that I won't wear delicate things for hard-wearing tasks.

Cerinda

Veteran

I think I'll steal Greyscale's phrasing, and concentrate on embracing my "actual cool-casual lifestyle."

Deborah

Veteran

I have never saved my 'good' clothes. I am not sure why but I just wear what I love when I want to. The fact that I wear so much black is kind of good as stains and what not don't show up so much!!

Erikajl

Wow, the advice/opinions are amazing here. Well, I now have some new goals;

-- to start wearing my nicer clothes NOW. I have experienced saving something for special times only to find it doesn't fit or is out of style as mentioned here. So no more of that.

-- I'm going to purge my closet even more ruthlessly to weed out the mundane, mediocre, flat, items that I wear because they are safe to ruin, but don't feel good wearing.

-- I'm going to only buy clothing that fits my lifestyle. I am still guilty of buying for a lifestyle that I don't live anymore.

-- I will buy better pieces that suit the task. No need to buy a beautiful silk blouse for walking in the park, but yes to buying a nice fitting updated cool relevant exquisite cotton t-shirt that's in my budget and that can stand up to the task.

-- I am going to put together some outfits based on my activities so I don't get so frustrated in the morning trying to figure out what to wear and then end up wearing the same old boring safe things. I'm a mood dresser, so I'll need to have several to choose from at each activity point.

-- I will strive to believe that I'm worth it to wear nicer things and not hear my mother telling me "don't wear that, you could ruin it" The answer to that is "Yes, but I can fix it, or buy another one" As pointed out by some of you, these are clothes not precious jewels. They need to work for me, not the other way around. This all needs to be comfortable and fun. (with maybe a bit of a stretch at first).

--Continue to seek advise here on this board as you are all amazing and so very helpful!!!

May

I work from home as well and quickly realized that I'm more productive when I dress as if I'm leaving to go to the office. Wearing an apron is a must when cooking, didn't women wear housecoats back in then when they cook and do housework?

As for avoiding spills or stains, I tend to slow down and be more careful while eating. Accidents happen but they happen less when I'm not in a rush to eat or do something. Spot treating a stain right away is also great at keeping my clothes pristine.

I love wearing silks and delicate wools even if it means handwashing them. They do feel so much nicer than synthetic materials.

Helena

Veteran

Hi there, I second JackieC's approach, which is that as a SAHM, everyday is cleaning day, cooking day, running around at the park day, etc, at least for some portion of the day and I am not one to change 5 times a day - so I wear a lot of stuff from Gap/BR/Old Navy or Target and then nothing is precious. It doesn't look as good as designer wear perhaps, but they do have nice styles that are also lifestyle-appropriate. I will spend a little more on certain things e.g. a leather purse, which can stand up to the inevitable abuse it will take. My experience has also been that spending more on casual clothing does not always make for better quality.

That said - wear what you love!! No sense saving the good stuff. It's like the good china - that we all seem to save so we can ... pass it along when we're dead? What's with that? Use it and enjoy!!

Did you recently go through a lifestyle transition? Sounds like maybe from less to more casual lifestyle maybe?

Erikajl

Torontogirl, yes, a slight life change. I'm just turned old, and I am trying to de-stress my life and scale way back. At the moment, I work from home part-time at my own business, do a bit of business networking (trying to step up that clothing game as well), lots of errands, and going out to eat too much. I'm trying to take walks everyday and learn to breathe. I'm toying with retiring early, but I hate that word. It sounds so dull, frumpy and old. I'm just not ready for that. So, I want to look good, in more polished clothing choices, but still hip, edgy, and up to date. Yet casual.

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