Balancing professional, personality and practical in work dressing - YouLookFab Forum

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Balancing professional, personality and practical in work dressing

Sal

Veteran

Back in the dark ages (1990s) when I started work, it was a bit clearer what to wear to a corporate office job.

My friends working in law or large accounting offices wore suits, shirts/blouses, heels and hosiery. In HR and sales I had a bit more flexibility and wore dresses, suits, blazers and pants, pencil skirts with sweaters etc.. I definitely had a work closet though with very little cross over into my life outside work. I had my work wardrobe, my casual wardrobe and my party wardrobe.

Over the last 20 years the rules have changed, and the nature of work has changed. I now work from an engineering firm, mostly in the office, but sometimes from home. I can wear denim and sneakers and tee shirts, and could be more casual than I am for 90% of my work days. As a result my closet is much more blurred (and more comfortable) with many pieces being worn at work and in the weekend. I would wear jeans and blazer looks to work, casual weekend and a party.

So now I can wear most things to work (putting aside being tidy and generally work appropriate (eg ripped jeans, short shorts, covered shoes etc).

But should I?

I don't wear this dress to work because it feels more like a weekend or casual dress with the bright pink flowers. It is dressy enough, appropriate and comfortable. But the vibe feels more fun than professional?

For those in a similar position, what do you do? Wear the fun stuff to work, or save it for the weekend? Run a professional and a weekend wardrobe separately?

No right or wrong answers, and I like the ability to DYOT, even if I don't take it up.

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Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from Sal

Runcarla

Veteran

This is a tough one. Personally, I didn’t deal well with the transition at my place of work that had me going from an outward facing in-the-field worker (suits) to an inward facing resource (casual Friday everyday!). I tried all kinds of things but always felt best when I could don a blazer jacket.

I’m betting it’s even harder now post Covid with work from home and hybrid situations.

I’d think the dress you show would work - if you could layer a blazer jacket over it and wore shoes that weren’t sneakers or boots. My thinking might be old fashioned, though. I’ve been out of the workforce for 6 years now!

Sal

Veteran

Carla - it's funny where the line lies - I will wear a merino, puffer vest and jeans to work, but not a large loose sweater. Many of our team wear uniform shirts or polo or fleeces, which I could too, so the puffer vest feels quite similar.

I have been looking for a new work dress as I have a conference in a couple of weeks, and my simple work dresses have all worn out or become dated. In looking for one, there are lots of dresses that I could wear to work, but to me feel more like weekend dresses. When I used to mostly work from home I was happy to wear a sundress or similar, but not so much when I go in (but I think nobody else cares aside from me!!)

Star

Veteran

The dress is work appropriate probably but very feminine. I know you are in a male dominant environment. I am not sure I would want to look 'girly' while being the boss. Of course there is room for femininity but more subtly, a feminine blouse or scarf, etc. It could work in a different field and/or different role. I would keep the dress for social activities.

bella

(website)

Veteran

That dress looks totally work appropriate to me. But I think, the most important factor in this case is how you feel in the outfit. If you feel confident, at ease, ready to your job efficiently when you wear the dress, by all means, wear it to work! On the contrary, if it makes you feel unprofessional, uneasy, anxious, preoccupied with your outfit rather than the work itself, then by all means, save it for the weekend.
I teach at college level. Certain things in my wardrobe would still be 100% appropriate on teaching days but I personally would rather save them for a different day (meetings, committee work, work from home, etc) because I feel a little less at ease in them in front of a large crowd of young people.

Star

Veteran

Perfect advice Bella! It really depends how an outfit makes you feel in a particular setting.

Helena

Veteran

Navigating this right now! I agree with Bella too and suspect that you have excellent instincts for what works. Perhaps you could create a work uniform (your jeans and a blazer formula, say) just to take the thought out of it?

At my workplace there are everything from the executive director who is more business-casual (not suits but not jeans) to the gallery assistant who is often in painting gear as she prepares walls between art installations. My way is to mimic my boss' dress code. Perhaps that is also relevant Sal depending if you're meeting with engineers, external folks, etc?

Dee

Veteran

You described the exact corporate wardrobe I wore back in the early 90s, where I worked in the male dominated field of aviation. I generally wore a specific uniform but we could deviate more as time went on. I always felt the need to not look too girly-girly in order to be taken seriously by my male counterparts.

Again, in the mid 2010s I began working at a college library until I retired and although we were permitted to wear jeans , there too, I wanted to present an air of professionalism and authority that would separate me from the college students.

All this to say that I think it depends on what message you want your wardrobe to say about who you are while you're at work.

Kathie

Veteran

Lean into what makes you feel comfortable. I've tried to blend my work and weekend wardrobes, and finally decided that it's not the direction I want to head, even if it might result in a smaller wardrobe. I really enjoy having both an architectural, more formal look for work, and a breezy, clogs/Birks/linen/jeans look on the weekends. I've also always worked in more male-dominated fields, and while I could wear just about anything, I found that pink, small florals, and the combination of the two never felt comfortable for me in a work environment. (To be clear, for a good chunk of my career I worked with male engineers, and I doubt they even noticed my clothes, so this was about my comfort, not anything they said.) For a while, I also tried having a "work-from-home" wardrobe, but now I just wear my regular work clothes, even if I'm sitting at my desk at home. As for your floral dress, if it feels like more of a fun, weekend piece, then create the occasion and wear it!

RobinF

Veteran

I am an accountant and back when I started my career (in the 80's!) it was suits every day. I shook it up a little with blazer/skirt combos but no pants or dresses. Not even casual Fridays.

Now I work in a manufacturing facility where I am the only woman and can wear what I want. I do tend to a uniform which is mostly pants, shirt/top and cardigan/jacket (even in summer for the AC), or sometimes pants with pullover sweater. I guess it mimics my suits but much more comfortable #nopantyhose!

I don't have a lot of overlap for some reason. I could, my work clothes are really as comfortable as my weekend clothes and definitely not dressy. I guess it is a mental thing.

Liz

Veteran

I, too, used to have a separate work wardrobe. Now, my entire life is casual, and I've realized that I now have varying kinds of casual:

everyday casual - I feel good wearing it to work, to have lunch with a friend, etc. I literally have a half-zip sweatshirt in this category.

festive casual - has an extra something that I need for going out to dinner, going to a casual party. My sweatshirt doesn't get worn here.

elevated casual - this is the hardest one. It's for when I want to look great, but also need to be sure not to appear at all "dressed up." It might be a work event where I'm traveling with my very casual coworkers, but am going to be very seen. Or when I'm the speaker at a super-casual event, where I don't want to be more dressed up than the attendees, but I still want to look very pulled together. My sweatshirt can be worn here, if the pants I'm wearing it with are pristine and fit great, and my sneakers are pristine.

weekend/home casual - throw it on and wear it to the grocery store, clean house in it, run out for coffee in it. My sweatshirt is too nice to wear here!

The dress you're showing would fit my festive casual category. I certainly could wear it to work, but I'd feel too "dressed up" for my work place.

Cookie

I would wear that dress on the weekend but I would also 100% wear it to work … it seems very Mary Tyler Moore Show professional lady to me. However, I work in an environment where there’s really no stress about what impression my clothing will make. I’m probably more “dressed up” than most where I work, both in the sense of less casual and less business-y (and really only the publisher ever dresses really business-y). I have clothes that are too casual or too festive or too cleavage-y to wear to work (though I guess I’m willing to go further in the festive or cleavage-y direction than some!), and clothes that call for shoes that are impractical for my walking-based life but fine for wearing around the office. Other than that, I wear things wherever. I guess I just don’t have much reason to be super concerned what, if anything, anyone thinks about it.

Lisa

Veteran

That's a lovely dress and in a business casual setting I think it works just fine. But Bella had a great piece of advice, how would it make you feel to wear it to work?

For myself, I favor layers for work, so a dress like this one I'd add a short cropped jacket or blazer (I think a jacket is probably better with this dress, maybe a moto style in suede for fall) and then go sans jacket for a more casual vibe on the weekend.

cat2

Veteran

I worked with tech companies. Engineers don’’t get fashion. I did best with my version of what they were wearing: if they were a business casual workplace wearing sport coats I would wear a more fashionable wool jacket; if they were wearing polo shirts I would go with a different kind of solid knit top, etc. Basically, work camouflage? But not men’s cuts or fabrics, I look truly grim in them.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Wear the fun stuff to work! That dress is gorgeous, and totally appropriate.

If the item makes you feel comfortable, powerful, confident, energized, and does not deter from doing the job - why not!!! Life is too short.

cat2

Veteran

Oh, Angie, that’s such bad advice for a corporate environment.

Jules

Veteran

I wear some fun stuff (today working from home I didn’t dress for the office, but did put on this Marimekko tee specifically for a zoom call with the boss where I wanted to make some strong points). This particular dress would be a bit femme for my current office preferences. In a way I do maybe prefer to reserve special, ‘pretty’ stuff for my personal life, come to think of it -because it makes me happy to have nice items that are specifically *not* for work.
In the past I did wear more stereotypically feminine stuff to work at times so it’s really down to current personal preference in my particular environment as nobody much cares! I am trying to establish a bit of a brand for zoom and I think it might involve wacky prints and big earrings. It’s about making a bit of an impression and not being afraid to stand out the way I may have been in the past, while also maybe rejecting or at least playing with assumptions about any perceived need to look younger or very styled (eg. hair and makeup).
Context is a male-dominated tech environment with no agreed upon level of dress (other than ‘not great’ in my humble opinion, lol!)

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Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Interesting thread. I have worked in NYC in various non-profits and here in hi-tech and again various non-profits and for about 5 minutes as a lawyer so I don't really have anything relevant to add but I think bella's advice sounds perfect.

Sisi

Veteran

I agree with Bella and Angie.
The most important thing is how you feel in the outfit. I understand what you mean about the floral dress but I would wear it to work with no problems - why not to add a fun note to the work environment?
To answer your question, my wardrobe is so small that all my clothes multitask. Some clothes feel more fun and casual than others but I wear them at work as well.

Suntiger

I'd wear the dress to work! I have always hated the thought that we have to dress more masculine to be taken seriously at work.
My summer wardrobe basically completely crosses over for any occasion, except that I don't wear heels on off days anymore.
My winter wardrobe is mostly any occasion, but the dressier pants are just worn to work. But I'm in an office 3 months in winter, and in the field the rest of the time now. There was less crossover when I was in the office more year round.

AviaMariah

Veteran

I'm going to jump in on this convo because I have had the same thoughts and questions rolling around in my head. I'm an accountant that started with clients, wearing the female version of a suit. I now work in industry and there is no dress code. Plus I now work from home part of the time. So I feel like I can be as relaxed as I want to be. But I find that I'm not happy with being that relaxed when I'm in the office. I also work in a male dominated field and I have at times shied away from anything too feminine for that reason. But lately I am rebelling against that idea. I AM a female professional NOT a female professional that is trying to by a male professional. So I have just started wearing my dresses to work. I'm probably the only one who even notices the difference but it does matter to me. So that's a long way of saying that I think that dress is totally work appropriate and I think that you should wear it as long as you feel comfortable. And maybe if you don't feel comfortable, a little internal dialogue as to why that is.

Murph11

Veteran

This whole thread makes me so grateful to WFH 100%!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That dress is gorgeous! And perfectly appropriate for work. But I think Star hit on something when she said that it might read or at least feel a bit feminine for your office, unless you adapted the outfit with a blazer etc. And I think Bella was wise to say, go with what makes you feel appropriate in the setting. If the dress feels good there, wear it, but if you are hestitating, there's probably a reason.

I mostly work from home now so my situation is entirely different. My wardrobe is almost entirely casual or -- I don't know what to call it -- fit for juxtaposition? That is, I have casual items, more structured but still not "corporate" type items, and dressier items, that I mix together. All the time, whatever I am doing. At home, at work, and going out or for presentations.

But on my public facing teaching days, I tend to dress slightly differently from my purely "at home" days. I will wear jeans to teach in, for example, but usually with a silk shirt / blazer or something structured or a bit dressier up top. Like Bella and Jules, I have some clothes that would be entirely appropriate (in the sense of modest enough and dressy enough) for work that I prefer to save for fun occasions, just because! Other items are just too dressy -- maybe what you would call your party wardrobe. I *could* dress the item down, but when I have options, I don't feel a need to.

avicennia

Veteran

I’m with Cat2, Star and Bella. If you are hesitant, don’t wear it The dress is very feminine. I’d only wear it with a blazer or even a jean jacket, something to take off the feminine edge. Just yesterday, I changed out of an outfit because it didn’t feel right to me for work.

Sal

Veteran

Thanks all! I seem to have a virus so not quite up to a lengthy reply.

I did wear the dress to work for a Friday.

bj1111

Veteran

How did you feel when you wore it?

Sal

Veteran

It was fine although a day of just desk work and no meetings online or in person. I am in aviation engineering - our firm.

I have found a lot of dresses over recent years to be more feminine - tiers, puffed sleeves, ties etc. I have found it hard to find work dresses that get the balance right of practical professional and stylish!

Echo

Veteran

I agree with previous posters and Angie in that it is all about how it makes you feel. If it feels fussy or too feminine, it doesn't matter if 100 people on this forum say it is fantastic because you won't feel your best in it for work.

This is where things get tricky. Unless I work in the same office, in the same city, in the same country that you do, I can NOT feel the same way about an outfit. I teach in a small, rural, US town. Virtually anything goes in my building, but I choose to dress up most of the time. Yes, that includes chiffon skirts and dresses and blazers and sparkly jewelry. Despite the majority of my coworkers wearing school sweatshirts, pants and sneakers, I feel out of place wearing jeans. Looking at my coworkers and my district, it is likely that 100% of people would say there's no reason I should not wear jeans. But no matter what anyone says, that doesn't change how I feel in MY building, in MY town.

Yes, it can be confusing when "anything goes." But we all have some sort of gut feeling as to what works and what is appropriate in our places of work. While we can tell you what works for us, we cannot tell you what works for you because it is all about how something makes you feel.

There's nothing wrong with saving certain dresses or outfits for days off. Indeed, sometimes it makes them feel more special, and makes your days off feel that much more NOT work-related. I love the dress, and I would not feel uncomfortable wearing it to MY workplace, but that does not at all transfer to your workplace or how it makes YOU feel.

Staysfit

Veteran

Sal, you articulate a difficulty I have struggled with my entire career due to a very non-traditional work setting for a physician. Over time, I have experienced a transition to more casual attire by the other professionals in my workplace. Maybe this has been dictated by the cultural norms and also by the changing nature of the students we serve. I currently work a hybrid schedule, 2 days WFH and 3 in person. I have drifted towards a more casual style on WFH days, and maintain my previous standards on “in person” days. I still maintain a separate dressy capsule and I also have separate gear/casual clothes/lounge wear capsules for after work and weekends. I enjoy the separation of workwear from the rest of my wardrobe. There is something about dressing for work that makes me feel ready to take on the stresses and unpredictability of the role. My outfit serves as body armor and to use a reference I have made in the past with long cardigans as super-heroine capes, it’s a costume. Changing clothes after work and wearing different clothing on weekends provides a physical indicator that I am leaving these stresses behind and I can relax. Not everyone needs that, however, I find it to be an important part of my self care. It enables me to recharge and continue doing the work I love.

Having said this, I love the dress. In addition to what everyone has said, I think whether or not you wear it also depends on if you think it would somehow distract from any message you need to deliver to people or client's in your work setting. You want them to remember what you said not only how you dressed.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sal, hope you feel better soon. Rest up! Glad you wore the dress. There was only one way to find out how you felt in it - now you know

Echo and Bella, such wise words! Thanks for sharing.

I have a lot of experience with this challenge - which in short, is not that much of a challenge. Things have changed, and in our favour, actually.

FWIW, I have clients who hold extremely powerful executive positions in finance, law, medical research, healthcare, fashion, HR, and tech. The way they dressed even 10 years ago is very different to how they dress now. Things were relaxing before the pandemic - and COVID took things many casual steps further. These clients are generally dressy is a more relaxed and on trend way.

As Staysfit mentioned, enclothed cognition is real. What you wear to work has got to work FOR YOU, and the job at hand. If the outfit makes you feel authoritative, competent, at ease, in control, comfortable, and great on the inside - wear it. If it makes you feel self-conscious, uncomfortable, out of control, unprofessional, and you wish you'd worn something else - don't wear it. Follow your feelings.

What these items are will differ from person to person.

Clients in top tech and HR positions have worn dressy floral ruffles, brights, and pastels to a presentation and commanded the room. A male dominated audience too.

Some clients in sharp black and navy pant suits have felt awful on presentation day and wished they'd worn something else. They missed their colours and patterns.

My law clients and medical research clients kick it up a notch with fun patterns, layers, shoes, accessories, and all sorts of colours. They are sooooo confident and awesome!

The one thing these clients have in common is that they dress modestly. The palettes, patterns, and silhouettes are more playful and relaxed. But they are professionally covered, items aren't too tight, and there is a whole lot of polish. They wear beautifully made items that fit very well. That makes a big difference too.

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