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At a Style Impasse

rae

(website)

Veteran

I'm starting to realize that changing jobs so frequently over the past year has affected my wardrobe needs even more dramatically than I'd thought. When I first left the conservative bank to work at The Rack, where denim was part of the daily uniform, it was an easy transition to wear my existing denim collection.

But now, I find the need to be much more dressy at work (denim is not allowed) and to also be fashion-forward. This puts me in a strange place, because I've saved a bunch of clothes from my office job - and many of them technically are brands that come from my store - but I no longer feel fresh/fashion-forward/chic in them. I feel like a banker! My style has definitely evolved, plus Fashion is not in the same place as it was a year ago, and I think I must just also have bad associations with some things because I wore them while I was unhappy. Conversely, my weekend capsule lacks the polish for Nordies. I keep straining to think of ways to dress up my boots and tough jackets.

Currently, I DO like feel good wearing my two pairs of slouchy pants, black ponte pants, charcoal Really Skinny pants, knit midi skirts, pullover sweaters, and Nexx blouses. My three blazers feel okay, but then they don't layer well over the Nexx blouses or pullovers.

I don't want to rush into anything, but it looks like more work and analysis has to go into my professional capsule, and I have to re-learn how to mix and match certain things. There is probably a capsule here already, even discounting the bankwear.

Do any of you have thoughts or experiences that might be helpful for transitioning? What kinds of strategies did you use to shift to a different dress code? How soon could you tell if there was a wardrobe hole versus a "learning hole" where you just hadn't figured out how to work it yet?

44 replies

Latest reply was from rae

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Your clothing needs are changing abruptly while your style is shifting. That can be hard on the wallet and the psyche! Refresh my memory, what are the dress norms where you work?

catgirl

Veteran

Rae, I gotta go root my child out of bed (it's a day off school here today) but I want to respond in detail at some point, because I am going through the same thing, as well as a possible job transition that will affect my wardrobe. Ugh, it's not easy. I see you getting more polished, and me getting more streamlined, and yet I still love my old UWP ways - am wondering how much is natural and how much forced.

Sorry to psychobabble, more later.

Thistle

Veteran

I can't really offer a lot of advice on this. I have always been an Accountant, so a pretty conservative field.

The hardest thing for me was leaving Public Accounting. I was in the Big 4 and at the time, suits were the norm. I had a closet full of them and shells for underneath.

Moving from that "uniform" to business casual was really, really tough. I wore a lot of my suits just replacing the jacket with a cardigan for quite a while. But I was not in a fashion field or even a field where I was expected to be fashionable. I also had no bad feelings toward the clothes. Yes, I wanted out of Public, but I was still an Accountant.

Wondering if there is a way you can make your banker clothes work by mixing them in with other pieces. Stretch them out of their banker comfort zone by mixing with more edgy pieces.

Tina

Veteran

It sounds like you have it figured out. From what you say about what you already own, I would add some spring pieces that go with your current pieces. It will breathe new life into your outfits and maybe you will see some of what you own in a new way. Your new hairdo may also be what is throwing you off. My experience has been that the state of my hair is probably the biggest indicator of my style direction. Having said that, you may want to start with some new tops/toppers.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Rita, there is no hard dress code. The managers usually wear a blazer over some kind of shell and either skinny dress pants or a knit pencil. On of the older SAs typically wears a collared Foxcroft type shirt with slacks. One SA can be found in black leggings with black knit blouse and scarf and boots. One younger SA wears skinny trousers, flats, and a blazer.

Una, that is interesting! I hope it is a good transition for you. Selfishly, I'm kinda glad there is someone else going through this, so I can take notes. Very interested to hear what your take is on all this.

Anonymous

What about the stripey Anthro dress and the blue one? Those with jackets and boots I think would be great. Or are they ones that make you unhappy?

Thistle

Veteran

I can't remember the name of the line, but are you liking where you are working o are you still pondering a move to the new young, hip affordable Nordies line?

rae

(website)

Veteran

Tina, tops may indeed help. I do feel more pressure to wear blazers, so it would be nice to layer those over something less formal than a collared shirt (no one does that here).

Ceit, I still love those dresses! I feel like my current jackets don't work as well with them, though. I'm struggling with them...

rae

(website)

Veteran

Thistle, getting dressed would be way easier in Savvy, but there are no openings. Plus, they sort of frown on moving do a different dpt. before 6 months. This department is busy and I like the clientele, so I my plan is to stay and work toward being a Personal Stylist one day.

Anonymous

First, do you feel you can make do with the existing stuff for a bit? I think observation is key right now, then you can start shaping your wardrobe a bit. This happens to me too, to some extent, with each new case I start. I initially go on recog mode at the site's cafeteria or whatever.

I think you will go a long way if you can add a couple more refined choices for footwear. I am a firm believer in that shoes really set the tone. Also, if you can find three or four refined tops for your rate jackets, you will see a much more polished result.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I echo Zap --- my first thought is to not rush the transition --- to allow it to play itself out naturally over a few months time. By then, you'll know the expectations better, but you also may well find that you're emerging as a positive leader on your team, but in terms of client interaction and setting a tone in your dress. In other words, people might start to dress like you!

Also, keep your long term goal in mind --- to be a personal stylist. What items will you want in your working wardrobe then?

I wish you were her in Chicago. Looking for white jeans is gonna be a bear.........

unfrumped

Veteran

Rae , I think that is really tough so agree to take a deep breath and not feel like all is wrong. Otherwise you will leap into stuff too willy-nilly.
I also get a bit frustrated at the pressure that seems to be on fashion jobs because I think it pushes people to over-invest in clothes vs. things like--retirement! vacations, family, other pursuits.That would especially steam me if one moves up or laterally in different departments in the store and is made to feel that a whole new wardrobe is needed.

This is where a lookbook or file, Pinterest (I'm not on, so not pushing) may help so you can see what you've got that is close enough to the looks you think are best for your job. You know, like the copycat posts--what items do you have that evoke the look without having to always buy something else.

Also frankly, price point seems important if you think a year from now you might find you need another look. Not quite disposable fashion, but keeping in mind that some of the time you're dressing for the job. You might find you need to keep your "casual life" capsule leaner so you can put more toward your work looks, but cross those items over and dress them down.

Echoing alaskagirl--if the job has a true expectation of dress code or style, then it's harded to think of simply evolving your own "style persona" and buying all your clothes to fit that.

Banker's clothes can be hard to work in and I'm sure you've already assessed them, but it could be that 1) jackets are getting longer so suit jackets work more often 2) if you have skirts that were more conservative but still nice fabrics, some form of tailoring might work (shorten & wear with tights; make more pencil-y). Or they might just be unworkable.

Tops are a good refresher and are more available in a range of price points so you can keep updating.

I would think you would need to be the master of re-mixing--adding a scarf, wearing the sweater with belt or without, wearing jewelry in a funky way, all of that sort of thing. And you already seem to be a wizard at vintage or thrifting for items to add character and save $$. Who can buy whole new outfits every month or quarter just to look "new" in their job? I have really loved all of your WIW's and think you have great style!

Raisin

Veteran

Gosh I can't offer much advice since I have never had to deal with this issue. I sort of hate working in uniform sometimes because I don't get to dress up or wear my nice clothes out, but at the same time I guess it does make it easy.

I think you should just take it REALLY slow. Incorporate a few new items at a time, and see where they go. Until then, keep wearing and remixing the ones you feel comfortable in. Is there anyway you can get some help from a professional like Angie? I bet a few sessions would help tremendously. Or go see Angie!! Road trip to Seattle!

Kalli

In my opinion if you aspire to be a personal stylist someday you will come across this issue with your clientele. Unfortunately we spend most of our days at work and do have to fit within a work decorum. I would build a work capsule and then save the fun stuff for when you have your own time. Part of working means that you are getting paid for your time which means a shifting of attitude. That's why capsules are so fun.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I WISH I could afford Angie, that is a dream within a dream within a dream, lol.

Like I said, I'm not rushing into anything. It is weird to feel stressed over outfits again. :T I like the idea of using Pinterest for work as well as personal style. Watching is good; I just don't want to fall into the trap I sometimes have of copying others and losing myself. The pumps I just got will hopefully help some of my rugged jackets look more dressy.

I really need warmer pants, though. The silk ones are so nice and current, but so cold! I wonder if I can taper my Sloans, because right now they only work with high heels.

retailgirl

Veteran

Hi Rae! When I first worked at Nordstrom, coming from
Macys, where suited looks were the norm for managers, (I wore a lot of Jones New York and Talbots, this was before Macy's assoc. had to wear black), I found it hard and felt like I looked like a "hick". I added to my wardrobe bit by bit. I don't know if they still do it, but there used to be a 40 per cent discount for employees on Nordstrom private label several times a year. One thing you'll find: you are strongly discouraged from wearing spring/summer colors and styles after NAS starts, which is July, so having a summer work wardrobe is a waste of time and money. Think seasonless. Accessories are a great way to update, and the accessories at Nordstrom are fabulous. My wardrobe ended up being lots of black and grey, which suit me, great shoes, handbags and jewelry. And I was even voted best dressed manager by my peers one year! You'll figure it out. I hope you are having fun.

rachylou

Veteran

A darn good question.

I can give you a "what not to do": Don't be like me. As a contractor, I move on to new projects and workplaces every two years. I am so guilty of mad shopping sprees and overspending with every transition. It's sad because, as mentioned, I have this impulse for visual integrity with my built environment, the spiritus loci. I don't even care that much about blending in with my co-workers. I mean, you may think being part of the nameless, faceless crowd is chicken, but it's a time-tested survival strategy. My clothing money really should have been doing more than it was doing.

This is what I think led me to looking into personal branding and truth in advertising, which in turn led me here to YLF. I started to recognise a need for more consistency and more me in my wardrobe. Obviously still working on this; it's very easy for me to get distracted and veer off course.

Ya, so I'm all for not rushing, so long as you are not feeling shabby. Look at what you've got v. *your brand* v. your parameters (like the need for polish at work). See how you can nudge things up to par. Avoid a style white-wash if you can.

Oh, I have to add that I do think you have a unique challenge re. UWP style. I worked in women's boutiques for a bit with my RATE style. If I have one piece of brass tacks advice, my opinion is that the one place you should limit the RATE-ness - it's in the shoes. *Distressed* shoes upset people.

Anonymous

I am *hardly* the person to be giving you fashion advice, but I can really see your style evolving FORWARD. If you agree this is the case, I wouldn't buy things to make the old bank clothes work (thus throwing good money after bad), but take the few loves you have that are appropriate for your new job and buy them some new friends that a fashion forward, fabulous and that make your heart sing.

Oops a friend of mine just stopped by. To be continued...

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I would imagine it does feel really challening Rae - I mean you are in a job where you are sort of expected to look a certain way by the very nature of the job. But I've seen so many great outfits on you, so I know you are definitely up to the challenge.

And the advice of "taking it slow" is really good, even though you might have to buy a few "fillers" if needed until you can get it figured out a bit more.

For me (and probably many people) shoes seem to be especially hard - style plus comfort is that ever elusive thing we all want. I recently got a catalog from a company called Comfortology that seemed to have some decent options in various styles. Maybe it's worth looking at their web site.

I love jackets (even though I don't get to wear them as much here in Texas) and have seen you with some really great ones, but I know some may be a bit more UWP than you want for every work day. I wish there were more affordable jacket/blazer options in better, more interesting styles.

I guess I don't have a lot of advice - I'm still trying to figure out my own style and I don't even have to worry about work place acceptance since I office at home for the most part. But I DO want to look my best.

Can't wait to see your continuing style journey - so far it's been really fun reading and seeing your posts!

Gaylene

Veteran

I just wanted to jump in to echo Claire's advice. After having been in your position more than once for various reasons, I think it is important to focus on the future instead of trying to re-work the past. My solution has always been to design a small, core wardrobe that incorporates items in my current closet that I still find workable with a few new, carefully selected items. A few well-chosen tops, bottoms, and accessories can go a long way to create a different style statement. I've also found, since these new items need to be workhorses, it pays to spend a bit more to make sure that each item fits perfectly and looks good on my body, especially if others will be judging you by looking at what you are wearing.

Personally, I think the hardest part of the whole process is letting go previous certainties, as in "x is my style". It's not easy to substitute "was" for "is", but stubbornly holding on to past loves can prevent you from embracing your new direction.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I agree with Claire & Gaylene. I don't think it is always advisable to try to make things work. Especially things from a time when you weren't happy.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Rae, I'm not the best example, as it seems to be taking me ages to figure out the best way to create my various capsules (work at home, appearances, city visits, MOTG, etc.)

But Claire's advice makes an enormous amount of sense to me. Truly, it's time to move forward, and this is your chance. I like the idea of building a small but high quality capsule for now and adding to it gradually, as Gaylene suggests. You don't need a LOT of stuff for work, but you do need stuff that makes you feel fantastic. If the banking clothes don't , and can't be repurposed in a way that feels true to your current needs, well...you know.....

I also agree with those who say that the change in your hairstyle may be key. For me, necklines that worked well with longer hair did not look so great with shorter hair -- and vice versa. It threw off my proportions and caused me to reevaluate almost every top and topper in my closet. This is partly because I have a big (long) head and am also a bit long from chin to bust (or at least not short there) but I found I really needed to do different things in that area. If you are discovering something similar, that may be another reason to bid goodbye to items you used to love.

You are so very stylish that you will certainly find your way. But I know the frustration and feel it, too. Hang in there!!!

Tina.b

Veteran

I read your post before I went to lunch and didn't respond at first because I wanted to think a little. Still don't know if I can offer any substantial advice as I've never been in the same situation. You've received some great ideas above.

I see you in the midst of a style evolution and that is an exciting place to be. A lot of it is an external force with the new job. I would say definitely create a work capsule with the existing pieces in your wardrobe and then plan additions from there. Again, I would view if as a gradual process, not reactionary. Because you already have a great wardrobe to work from.

I might even consider devising a "work uniform" sort of strategy. Focus on high quality pieces that you will be able to get considerable wear from. I still think you could take an interesting black blazer and create so many amazing looks with it, considering your amazing intuition for style.

Deborah

Veteran

Rae I don't have much advise but it sounds like the SA's are free to express themselves stylewise. If that's the case then can your capsule encompass your UWP stylings with perhaps additional polish? You have a new haircut, which can affect how our clothes work and perhaps you are in a personal style evolution phase. My question would be how do you see your work style persona. How do you want to look and what do you want to communicate?

Anonymous

Okay, I'm back now! As others have mentioned, your hair transformation has been hugely important (you almost look like a different person) and that can change the way your old things look on you. Like Suz said, you may be rethinking things at the foundational level, such as necklines and scarves or even earrings.

From there you can assess style and what's coming down the pike that you feel drawn to. There is probably a work-appropriate version of most things you like, save for the super-rugged UWP combat gear. I think if you dig deep down inside you might already have the answers to where you want to go next. And don't worry what any of us think about it. There is no right or wrong here, we just need to be able to have fun!
You are so insightful, helpful and professional that I have NO doubt that this will translate into some super fashionable, appropriate outfits that will take you exactly where you want to go in your career.

I was at such a loss when I started volunteering at DFS more than a year ago. But a funny thing has happened. Instead of having a capsule of ugly but serviceable (and cheap!) business casual--sort of like corporate drag--my whole wardrobe is a little bit nicer, better quality and dressier than it was then. I have less denim and more transitional, smart casual pieces that work for my real life and for volunteering. I found that I was absolutely miserable wearing things that were appropriate but "not me" to work. It was better to upgrade my clothes in general than to keep the two categories separate. Now I feel like I'm my genuine self at DFS, and like I'm better than before at home, not that I have arrived yet, heh!

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

You've got great advice, Rae, and I don't have much to add. I think your style muscles are more than strong enough to pull off a new direction pretty painlessly for you, maybe utilizing only a few of your classic pieces from back then, paired with something fresh, modern, that feels very much like *you* now. Your new hair (which I adore), your new job - everything falls into place eventually.

Anonymous

Rae, I just re-read this entire thing and had a couple thoughts.

Re. blazers: I actually gave away a lot of 2011 blazers because they felt either too cropped or too small. I know I'm 5 pounds heavier now than then but I don't think it is what caused it. We were buying these things too darn small. Could that be the issue with your blazers not layering well?

Skirts: I actually lowered the hem on a couple of pencils shirts and they feel a lot more modern. Do you still have the rust colored, brocade skirt? I love that one. You can certainly put together a very sleek, fashion forward look with a simple blouse, tights and a more sleek pair of boots - booties, which I think you should look into.

Pants: Yes, you can taper the sloans. I actually tapered some navy blue pants a while back, but I'm waiting for warmer weather to sport them. I don't like how they look with any of my winter coats.

How are you with blouses? silk tunics are life savers for me - like the snakeskin I posted about- you can do so much with them. Perhaps you can invest in a couple.

Oh, I'm totally rambling.

rachylou

Veteran

I like how you put that, Claire. "Appropriate but me" was what needed to happen to my wardrobe personally (and I'm working on it, lol).

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Okay, it is in my nature to deal with the practical first, are you working four day Rae and how often are happy to repeat an outfit?

If I where in your position I would be examining your existing wardrobe and looking to create eight solid outfits to wear whilst you adjusted to the new environment and changing style. Once you know more of your desired outcome then you can begin to purchase.

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