Asking for help: breastfeeding references in pop culture? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Asking for help: breastfeeding references in pop culture?

Aziraphale

Veteran

So, this is way out of left field, but I was hoping maybe some of you out there have some ideas that will help me out! I have to write a paper for this annoying cultural theory class that I can't avoid. Can anyone think of any good references to breastfeeding in North American pop culture? What comes to mind first for me is that Friends episode where Ross is grossed out by his ex-wife's breast milk, but is eventually persuaded to taste some. There's also an episode of Sex in the City, if I remember correctly, where Miranda can't get her baby to latch on.

Any other bright ideas?

Off Topic

42 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

elpgal

Veteran

The motherlode of breastfeeding info, Kellymom, had these on their FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/kelly.....8582703177

https://www.facebook.com/kelly.....4291895139

Aziraphale

Veteran

Awesome, thanks so much elpgal! I'm not actually all that invested in the current dialogue about breastfeeding, so that page is a gold mine. (I mean, I breastfed both my kids because I made a lot of milk and it seemed like the sensible thing to do, at least for the first few months, but I wasn't a martyr about it).

To be honest, I was quite alarmed to discover the lengths women will go to breastfeed under adverse conditions, and also how freely some women shame other women for not breasfeeding! Why do women care what other mothers do? While it's true that breast milk is a little healthier than formula, it's not like formula is made of mashed bugs and arsenic. It's a perfectly good substitute if a woman can't, or doesn't want to, breastfeed. And why do we have to be so focused on providing the VERY VERY BEST OF EVERYTHING for our babies? Talk about pressure.

I also think it's interesting that on the one hand, we North Americans are "officially" pro-breastfeeding (breast is best, formula is evil, etc) but on the other hand, as a culture we seem so uncomfortable about the actual act -- especially if it involves toddlers. Popular culture shows this. After a quick read through of the comments on that Facebook page, I could see that most TV and movie scenes that involve breastfeeding (a) involve a newborn or young infant, and (b) are played for laughs.

pil

Veteran

Edit

elpgal

Veteran

I searched on Kellymom just for you otherwise I steer clear of that site While I breastfed my son till he was almost 2, KM caused me much stress in the early days.

Aziraphale

Veteran

pil -- "assault with their breast milk"? What the? I have no idea what that means! lol

elpgal -- thanks again for the resource. I had never heard of Kellymom. I sometimes feel like I'm a little disconnected from the "popular wisdom" that surrounds parenting issues. This started out as a deliberate choice back when I had my first child 11 years ago. I got a little stressed out by all the "expert advice" during my pregnancy, since the experts seemed to advocate so many different (and contradictory!) things. I got fed up and decided that there's got to be more than one "right" way to raise a child. I've been winging it ever since, lol.

Jules

Veteran

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw3UA7OEiQ4

elpgal

Veteran

You did yourself a great favor, then. Kellymom is a mix of great but unedited advice and zealotry - it is very confusing for a new parent to figure out what's what.

Helena

Veteran

There have been some high profile celebrities who advocate for breastfeeding, in positive and less than positive ways (imho) - e.g. Salma Hayak and Gisele Bundchen.

pil

Veteran

Edit

catgirl

Veteran

I don't want to get into an argument about this issue but I find it amazing the way this culture can make the biggest conflict out of anything - breastfeeding, SAHM, public schools. I find all sides equally strident and judgmental, to be honest. I don't find North American culture to be pro-breast feeding at all. It purports to be, but the constant kerfluffle around it takes away so much of the joy and wonder. I just tuned it all out and nursed my son. It wasn't always a picnic but it was my choice. Others choose differently and more power to them. It's when I hear women say that another woman's choice disgusts them that I lose my empathy.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Una -- I know! That's what I'm saying. There's such an ambivalence about breastfeeding here. On the one hand, there *appears* to be a lot of support -- the medical system pushes it hard, and there are lots of breastfeeding advocates. And in my social circle (mostly white, middle-class, admittedly) it's by far the norm. But on the other hand, you don't see a lot of women out in public breastfeeding, and there is lots of discomfort with it -- jokes in pop culture, etc.

Anyway, that was what I was so astonished about -- the fact that so many people seem so invested in other people's parenting choices. I'm focusing on breastfeeding for this paper, but I've read lots of articles about other parenting issues, too, like those for and against daycare. People have OPINIONS. And it's actually more about mothering than parenting. Maybe it's just another way of policing women in our society. Anyway, when anyone is really judgmental about another woman's mothering choices, I think it actually betrays an insecurity about their own choices.

karymk

Veteran

I love this topic. We say we are "pro breastfeeding" in North America, yet doing it in public is still taboo in most places. I just don't get why women have to smother their babies with "privacy" towels or blankets while nursing in public. I nursed two of my three kids. My middle child I had in Norway, so I had this wonderful breastfeeding experience there where I could freely breastfeed anywhere I wanted without any "shame" or embarrassment. It was normal at a party to let your child nurse while you sat around a table or fireplace. When I got back to the States and then nursed my third child in public I didn't hide a darn thing. I felt so militant here about it, like "dare me!" It wasn't like that in Norway.

Our culture is so "progressive" , allowing just about anything, yet we still are afraid of nipples, breastmilk and suckling infants. We are uncomfortable with breasts anywhere outside the porn context! So warped. We have a ways to go...

Aziraphale

Veteran

Karymk -- well done! I always feel happy to see a woman breastfeeding without those silly tents. I never used one. I admit I avoided nursing in public if possible, but if I did, I just lifted my shirt (and tried not to expose too much). Perhaps I'd have been a little less bashful if I'd spent time somewhere that you actually saw public breastfeeding (like Norway!).

The thing about breastfeeding is that it's a deeply personal choice -- just like all the other choices we make as parents. We should be perfectly free to breastfeed whenever and wherever. But we shouldn't pressure mothers too much, either. Early motherhood is hard enough to navigate without a guilt pile-on.

Daria

I have nothing to add in terms of pop culture, but I would never call a country without any sensible maternity leave program "pro-breastfeeding".
Also not sure if it makes sense to put entire North America in one bucket as far as breastfeeding is concerned. My children were born in Quebec in NJ, and the amount of support available was quite different (Quebec is very pro-breastfeeding).

columbine(erin)

Veteran

Babycenter.com has a lot of articles abouts celebrities who breastfeed. Sorry I can't link, I'm on my phone.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Darla, you're correct that you can't really put all of North America in one bucket. I find cultural attitudes are similar in the U.S. and Canada, but from a practical standpoint, we have it better north of the border. It's a one-year maternity leave in B.C. What do they get, six week in the U.S.? Something like that.

Columbine, thanks for the suggestion. That's a good idea. I think I saw something a while back about Beyoncé breastfeeding, and she's a pop culture icon for sure.

abc

Veteran

What about that scuffle caused by the US military women and their breastfeeding pic? I don't recall a lot of it - admittedly I tuned it out. Maybe they were in uniform or something? Honestly, to each her own. A very personal decision. NO reason on EARTH why one woman should shame another for her decision.

And HALLELUJAH to all who agree that the US claims to be so bf-friendly yet to do it in public yields reactions like it's offensive. SIGH. FWIW I live in Mexico and see women here bf anywhere and everywhere without anyone batting an eye. Refreshing for sure.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Strictly speaking, there's no nationwide mandated maternity leave in the US. If you work for a company that's covered under the FMLA (family & medical leave act, passed only a few years ago) *and* you've worked there long enough (at least a year full-time or equivalent part-time hours, I believe), you must be offered up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave - a quick web search suggests that that covers about 60% of American employees (not workers in total, I presume, since so many people are contractors or small businesspeople now - they're SOL). Some states have passed paid leave requirements, like California, but again, they only apply to certain employers and employment situations. And of course, some corporations offer paid leave and flex work situations above the governmental requirements and have done so for decades.

Still, it's pretty horrible, in my opinion, almost as bad as our completely morally indefensible medical / insurance situation. {steps off soapbox}

Daria

Maternity leave laws vary, but in NJ it's 6 weeks of STD postpartum (partially paid by the state), and 12 weeks of FMLA (unpaid). The catch is that only large-ish companies (50+ employees I believe) are obliged to offer FMLA protection, and many companies run STD and FMLA concurrently, so 12 weeks postpartum is the maximum you can possibly get. How is that breastfeeding friendly?

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Sorry if this has been mentioned in one of the links already.

Game of Thrones has an episode were Lady Lysa Arryn breastfeeds her tween son Robin Arryn.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Sorry, Jules, I missed the Maggie Gyllenhaal link you provided upthread. It's an excellent example of how, in pop culture, extended-breastfeeding mothers are portrayed as overzealous and a little nuts.

abc, I looked up the military women who breastfed in uniform for a photo shoot and yes, there were some reactions of dismay. Again, I think it's a result of the Puritan heritage -- American culture has a weird relationship with nudity, and what can only be described as confusion about sexuality and sexual imagery.

Laura, Daria -- yep, that's pretty bad. So much for "family support", eh?

RoseandJoan, thanks for the suggestion.

Jules

Veteran

Aziraphale, agreed. If you watch the whole movie that character is pretty crazy. I personally did EBF (3 years each kid) and I still enjoyed the overall sendup of extreme AP-type parenting. But I tend not to buy in wholly to anything and just pick and choose the stuff I like.
Also, having had difficulty establishing breastfeeding with my first (resorting to formula top-up and various measures as prescribed by a LC), I will never again judge how anyone chooses to feed their hungry baby.

rachylou

Veteran

Does anyone remember the formula scandal of the 70s? The Wikipedia entry has a few mentions of the issue in the media (the scandal continues).

karymk

Veteran

Oh man, I would never pressure someone to breastfeed. I bottle fed the first child and he turned out to be the healthiest of all! The two that were breastfed had earaches, tubes, and horrible asthma!!! Go figure!!! The Similac kid had nary a cold his whole childhood....

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Having personal experience, but one person from my high school is very pro-breast feeding (La Leche?) she also knits...this was a similar project for her local group.
http://www.theguardian.com/lif.....singly-use...

Aziraphale

Veteran

Jules and Karymk -- just to be clear, I wasn't suggesting that either of you would pressure someone to breastfeed! I was making a comment about some of the comments and opinion articles I'd read while doing research.

Anna, that link unfortunately doesn't work.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

http://www.theguardian.com/lif.....singly-use...

Aziraphale

Veteran

Nope, still doesn't work. It says 'page not found'. Maybe it won't work from Canada? thanks anyway!

Scarlet

Veteran

I caught a bit on some movie on T.V. I don't know what it was called but it was with Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. They were in a R.V. and the Ben character complained the milk was sour, which turned out to be breast milk for the baby. The DeNiro character had a prosthetic boob with which to feed said baby, I suppose? I didn't watch further.

12