Ask Angie - not sure I know what essentials are, for me. - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Ask Angie - not sure I know what essentials are, for me.

Anonymous

Angie offered to help me with this, so I'm posting it here. I do NOT expect anyone else to read or care- because who would? lol.

I am not sure I understand what essentials are , for someone like me who dresses in what seems like statement items all the time. I think its because of the way I choose to dress for work: I don't layer, and am usually wearing a coat most days, so my clothes need to fit under and look good peeking out from a coat, or when i take my coat off. I don't own a single long-sleeved t-shirt, or a single turtleneck, or even a plain merino-type knit sweater. Plain t's are not even plain in my closet. I don't own or wear plain shirts or blouses. Am I missing the point? I suppose this could explain why I don't have a great , cohesive wardrobe ...instead mine is a collection of random things .

Thanks in advance for your help !

Dressing

47 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lisa p, I'm going to give it more thought tomorrow (a little hectic today!) - but off the top of my head, I see 10 VERY clear "Lisa" essentials:

Trendy blue jeans
Black work pants/trousers
Casual olive pants
Trendy black shoes - different styles for different seasons (you like to change them annually just about)
Some type of sleeveless top style to layer under blazers
Black jacket
Olive topper of sorts
TNF Puffers
Watch
Stud earrings

Something to build on.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I add: Jackets that work under said coats

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

UmmLila, the jackets you are describing can be statements too. The essential has to be more specific.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think Angie's list describes it as I have seen it.

One way I think of it (in part) is to name those items that you've had (or tried to have, or wanted to have) in some iteration or another for your entire adult life. The things you have trouble getting dressed without.

For me --

ink or navy blazer (often this was black in the past, but black does not look as good)
"of the moment" jeans (the cut and style will change but is whatever the moment considers current but not uber-trendy
refined footwear in core dark neutral (again, they style changes...and even what is considered "refined" changes...but it will be some version of a boot or bootie for winter/ fall and some version of a sandal in summer.)
turtleneck in dark neutral (for winter) and shell or linen tee in same neutral for summer

Etc.

I mean, I've been wearing these things since high school! And I'll bet you've been wearing most of the items on Angie's list for most of your working life.

TNF puffers are a bit of a signature item for you, and even the ones that make a statement are pretty core to your (winter) weekend style.

A FAB coat for every season might be another, esp. if you do like to have a coat for each season in one of your key neutrals. For me it is boring navy. Which is not to say I don't love my red and lilac coats and even my grey mixed media -- I do! But I do love to have the navy also.

Anonymous

Suz - I wanted to give you a comedy badge for the "a coat for every season". I have more coats than I do clothes. No lie. But that's not exactly something to be proud of, just easier to buy .

But I get it in terms of pieces you've always owned and wore. Again though, I struggle a bit with the concept of essentials vs basics, and maybe that's where I'm confused. Why this is taking up even one second of my time is beyond explanation though.

Lisa - I see jackets/blazers as essentials too, even though mine would almost all qualify as statement pieces. I don't really want or wear plain suit jackets.

Deborah

Veteran

I care :). On Phone but will pop back later x

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Basics are: panties, bras, camisoles, socks, sleepwear, loungewear, hosiery and thermals.

I'm here to help if it tickles your fancy - hence I started an essentials list for you. If you don't want to spend more time on this - no need. It's all good.

Anonymous

Angie - I totally care. I just don't expect anyone else to - I'd have pm'd you , but for some reason didn't think to. I look forward to your help. I also always feel guilty for spending time thinking about clothes - when the world is falling apart around us. It's just a thing.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My dear Lisa, this is a fashion and style forum! This is what we talk about No one is judging you about how much time you're thinking about fashion and style here, and Fabbers want to help out. In fact, they learn from your threads. You know I suggest not to take it too seriously either. Absolutely, I'm with you. In the big scheme of things, it's just what we wear....

The goal is that you have it figured out so that you can forget about your style and get on with life.

Carla

Veteran

Everyone who participates in the FORUM can benefit from your thread, Lisap. I would DIE if Angie volunteered to help me out, but I expect, she would tell me I'm already sorted on the identification of essentials, and that there are other issues I need to address!

I agree with the list that's forming for you - essentials are your bottoms (slim or straight fit) in Jean, black, olive. I totally get your collection of coats as well, and suggest that you are entirely justified a collection larger than most given the nature of your work AND our Canadian climate. I get the black footwear as well. I think you have a 'sugar eye' for anything leg lengthening and dark bottoms with dark footwear is the way to go.

The take-away is that tops are your statement items. So be it!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Carla, please live! And I'd love to help you out. All you need to do is ask.

Anonymous

Carla - tops being statement items is how I see it too. I wasn't sure if that was considered "possible" , but as fashion is specific to each one of us, I think it is, in my case. And why would you die? Or should I be dying ? lol.

Roxanna

Veteran

FWIW, Lisa, I struggle with making my essentials list too. I decided to just abandon the exercise, but then I saw how identifying essentials it's really helping @torontogirl and helps @suz create a cohesive wardrobe, so I'm thinking about whether I want to identify mine.

Anonymous

Ok - anyways, in all seriousness, here is another question : is there some guideline for what percentage of one's wardrobe these categories should represent? More essentials, only a few statements?

Sal

Veteran

I think Angie has your essentials pretty well sorted... and maybe fashion sneakers?

WRT there being more important issues than fashion - of course there are - and I know the feeling of wondering why worry about this. And I justify it the following ways;

1) I have to get dressed every day- it is a cultural norm around here.
2) In that case it takes a similar amount of time to put on nice stylish clothes as poor ones.
3) How I dress does matter - for work, in social settings and towards m own self esteem.
4) When things are chaotic in my life (first six months of 2017 were really rubbish for me) having some control and order around my clothes helped me.
5) I am using some new planning tools in my work and family life this year and in a way they are similar to how I started planning my wardrobe. I saw the benefits I gained and realised that I could improve other aspects of my life using a similar process.

Hope this helps:)

Bonnie

Veteran

My list was pants and shoes = essentials. Tops and Toppers = Statements and Angie said it was fine. You dress for your job and weather and what you wear works well. Be kind to yourself.

Deborah

Veteran

Lisa if it makes you feel any better I get confused over my essentials so I have narrowed it down to one.. black lol, I kind of joking but half serious.

I like Angie's list for you and I like what Suz shared. I would agree that the items I have worn all my adult life are probably my essentials, for example black jacket, black pants, chunky footwear etc.

I'd love to know what you come up with.

Lynn

Veteran

I care too I also get the "feeling guilty for spending time thinking about clothes - when the world is falling apart around us". But as Sal says we do have to get dressed everyday so why not have it bring us some joy. I am now trying to view it as part of my self-care.

I too struggle with understanding essentials so yoru posting this has been very helpful to me. I also tend to wear a statement top + pants as my primary uniform. I have just begun adding some outerwear toppers but my climate is more forgiving than yours.

Thanks for sharing your struggles.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

For me getting my clothing more sorted has been of huge psychological help. I really like what Sal wrote. I think it gives me something small to control when there are so many things I can't- the political situation worldwide being one and the future of my adult children's lives is another, being unsure when/whether they may have excellent long-term relationships, could buy property or not, etc. I think I'm learning to accept all these things but having a bit of a hobby like this is not so harmful? My husband plays computer games instead and we accept each other's relaxation.

Jane

Veteran

Just saying that I’m enjoying this thread very much. Thank you Lisap for starting. I will watch with interest.

(Thinking about clothes stops me from over thinking on everything else!)

Aquamarine

Veteran

I am also enjoying this thread, and learning a lot from everyone, so thanks for starting it Lisa.

When I wonder why the heck I am concerned about clothing, I remember the challenging times in my life when I was thankful my wardrobe was sorted. Those challenging times were a tiny bit easier because I could focus on the task at hand.

kkards

Veteran

lisap...the world is spinning out of control...and ylf is one of the places i come to give me a little relief from it...actually a big relief...here is a group of people, most of whom have never meet IRL, many from far away places, forming bonds over shared interests....its the spirit of the Olympics but without the podium LOL!
anyway....i hear you on the struggle of defining your essentials...the line between essential and basic can be fuzzy.....i'm afaird that i will be no help there....

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What kkards said!

I’m glad you posted this because I get a little confused around “essentials” too (I feel like I tend to want some statements to be essentials).

Amy Isabella

Veteran

Absolutely what kkards said! And thank you for posting this - I learn an awful lot from your threads.

Helena

Veteran

Men have exactly 0% guilt about having hobbies that don't directly improve the state of the world ... Just sayin' ... Talk on Lisa!!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Lisa --

Angie gave you a great start so maybe use that for whatever classification system works for you at whatever percentage.

I can't do the basics/essentials breakdown because I have statement hosiery, essential stretch slips etc. And then some of my statements are workhorses blah blah so it gets tangled in my mind.

Don't know if it's helpful but for me it's:

-- backbones (will buy over and over -- sometimes plain, sometimes more detailed -- generally cannot put an outfit together without involving at least one of them)

[ex: black and grey knit skirts and dresses; B&G merino sweaters; streamlined B&G pants; metallic shoes; stretch silk slips; black knee high boots and booties; deep blue and purple tops/sweaters/scarves; shell-based jewelry; sterling drop earrings; plain black hosiery of 20 different weights + microfishnets; streamlined dark wash jeans; black leggings]

-- in-betweeners (bridge pieces that work with backbones and / or statements)

[ex: shoes/boots in color-color or with interesting details; shoes in "expanded" neutrals; solid color-color dresses in all weights; print silk jersey wrap dresses; various jewelry; textured hose and tights; print jersey skirts; trendier jeans/pants; print scarves]

-- statements (a lot of my statements are also workhorses and I generally make sure they work with my backbones and in-betweeners)

[ex: print silk tops and tunics; high-drama color-color raincoat; OOT jewelry; attention-getting hosiery like black and silver herringbone tights + black with silver overlay fishnets]

Anonymous

Thanks all. I must sound like a whiner for attention . In my world/family/uupbringing etc, being interested in clothes relates to spending $. And that's the issue. Buying clothes has always been the way I dealt with loneliness, low self-esteem etc....and it can get out of control very quickly.

Anyhow - I find these essentials the hardest things to buy. I can pick out a statement sweater or jacket in less than 2 minutes , but try to buy a pair of work pants, or even a pair of khakis, or a plain cashmere sweater etc and I'm stumped. It turns into a frustrating quest (see a recent plea for help post regarding work trousers) . It's not necessaril about fit, but that IS an issue, it's more about not being interested in very plain essentials. Even my work pants need to be interesting and not just a straight cut dress pant. I wonder if this indicates that I should not try so hard to find uniqueness in every piece, and that for these essentials, go with very traditional and basic designs?

There has been a noticeable flip-flop of how I view basics now vs when I was in my 30's. Dressing traditionally, and with quality basics looked good when I was younger, now - it just makes me feel plain and dowdy. I fear I may be seeing myself in the mirror differently than others do, and for all I know, I look crazy ! (I keep hearing a recent comment made by my daughter with regards to a joke I was making about "old people" - Mom, I don't know what you and dad see when you look in the mirror but.......). That still makes me laugh.

unfrumped

Veteran

I might distinguish between super-statement tops vs “ interesting, stand-alone tops” which are an Essential. You can’t get dressed without them. You have to shop for them to have a certain number, replace worn- out ones, match to bottoms. Amongst them might be a range, some more memorably statement-y than others. Perhaps I’m in the weeds, though. I don’t want to confuse thing more!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, Sal, this is brilliance, here... LOVE!

"1) I have to get dressed every day- it is a cultural norm around here.
2) In that case it takes a similar amount of time to put on nice stylish clothes as poor ones.
3) How I dress does matter - for work, in social settings and towards m own self esteem.
4) When things are chaotic in my life (first six months of 2017 were really rubbish for me) having some control and order around my clothes helped me.
5) I am using some new planning tools in my work and family life this year and in a way they are similar to how I started planning my wardrobe. I saw the benefits I gained and realised that I could improve other aspects of my life using a similar process."

Plus, #1 wins the comedy prize today....along with TG's "men give zero you-know-whats about spending time on hobbies that don't benefit the world!"

This is totally beneficial to the entire forum.

Lisa, I have the same question about proportion of essentials to statements. I suspect it would differ between individuals. But I really want to find a way to figure out what the optimum balance is for myself. And intend to do some more serious analysis this spring to get there.

12