kkards, I am nowhere near a specialist in this kind of thing. From what I've read, cotton uses more water in all its stages than any other fabric, including wool. I'd be interested to hear what your mom says about the comparison between them. I think the link I posted above references cotton initiatives that focus on the processing as well as initiatives that focus on the growing (but I just plucked it from a search result and skimmed, so might be wrong--for some reason I read your question as a very naive one, which made me wonder, because I thought you knew more, but then I shrugged and incorrectly assumed naivete. Sorry). I don't think there is one label that encapsulates all the issues entirely. BCI doesn't trace the entire chain for each item. Oeko-tex is focused more on the consumer than on the production. Cotton made in Africa doesn't have as stringent of controls as other programs. There are others, each with their own benefits and drawbacks too. I don't think I can find the perfect solution, but I do know that cotton as it is typically produced for our consumption, even though I love the feel of that fiber better than any other, with the possible exception of silk, isn't something I want to support. Doing a thing, even if it's not all the things, is better than nothing.
BTW, for Christmas from family, I've requested a big white fisherman's sweater of organic cotton. They have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'm trying to explain it to them clearly and gently. If any of you have ever done this successfully and have tips, I'm all ears.