You look great! I'm glad you tried that look.
I don't think I dress to hide anything. I my mid teens I made peace with the fact that I have what I would call a "visible" body. I wear a 28J bra (28M in US sizing) and that attracts a lot of attention. But I like my body, and I like my small waist and I wear things that highlight my body. I do avoid styles that "fight" my body type, but that often means avoiding things that conceal my form and sticking to things that emphasize my curves. I know that I do get stared at more often than my friends, but I'm also more modest than many of them. I just have an unusual body type that stands out in the crowd and I've learned to accept and then embrace that.

Day Vies - I have spent a lot of my adult life fighting my body and believing the way I look doesn't translate into lots of current trends. As an example, I think that whilst I love things that are geeky cool, hipsterish type stuff, they look fab on skinny young things, but on an overweight mid-thirties mom, they will just look frumpy and awful. I have only just gotten brave enough to try a semi tuck!!!!

As you point out, it takes a certain bravery to try things that run counter to that internal voice and risk a potential negative encounter with someone who helpfully wants to "police" what we wear. I suspect for many of us the solution is to find certain situations where we can feel a bit freer to express our personality. That's one of the reasons I like to travel; in situations where no one knows me, and where I am unlikely to meet the people I encounter again, I don't hesitate to show off my athletic calves in a skirt. The funniest part of this was the admiring looks that I got in some of the Mediterranean countries where a solid-looking leg was obviously not considered to be totally unattractive by at least some of the men that I encountered.

@Hil - I'd love to see you rock some geek chic. And I bet if you posted an item or two that you really like, the ladies of the forum would happily help you figure out how to style it so it flatters. I'm even volunteering to lead the charge! If you post it, I will help (or try).

Hil - I love Florence's suggestion. I think you should post somethings and we (the forum) can help you figure out how to make it work for you. No sense in denying yourself what you obviously like because you're not young and thin. There is no rule that only the young and thin get to enjoy great trends while the old and fluffy are relegated to frumptastic offerings. I would have to empty my closet if that were true.

This is tricky for me. At what point do the realities of my body become my personal beliefs or perceptions? I would dearly love to rock the kind of detailed and interesting pants I see on slimmer-legged ladies, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. I gravitate towards looks that are worn by willowy types (after all, rock chicks are usually pretty skinny), but I'm pushing 50 and decidedly not willowy. I've got boobs and I've got hips, and there are a lot of looks out there that appeal to me that just don't look "right" on my body. I try to push my limits but sometimes that results in some unfortunate mistakes. Other times I manage to push the boundary of flattery and get the balance right enough to make me happy.

Other women with bigger bodies than me unabashedly wear bolder looks, it's true, but I have to stay true to my personal combination of aesthetics and emotional comfort.

But enough about me! DV, this look is fantastic on you and I cannot imagine why you would not wear it and enjoy it often! You have a wonderful sense of style.

You look really good in pants and skinnies. I think these types of outfits work well on you. You have toned, straight and long legs. I have never seen you look bad in pants or jeans.

I have a feeling I don't think in terms of complete looks or outfits so much. I have just started on Pinterest and so far my only board is one that I used in searching for handbags. I haven't gotten to pinning looks yet. I think more in terms of specific garments and try to envision how I might wear them with things I have. And yet, I do see complete looks or outfits and think I'd like to wear something like that. I don't usually get around to intentionally copying the look; my inspiration is more amorphous or perhaps even subconscious. You have me thinking about trying to use Pinterest to gather looks I'm drawn to, as an aid in evolving my style.

Meanwhile, what I've come up with for a look or style that I have avoided is skinny-heeled shoes. I just bought the Donald Pliner Tillie boot at NAS, and it's pretty much a departure for me. I have avoided this heel profile--in favor of thicker, blockier, more substantial-looking heels--because of my calf shape. I always felt little heels looked out of balance and just not pretty with my calves overpowering them. (I did buy one other pair of petite heeled shoes about a year ago, some brown Cole Haan pumps that I unfortunately do not wear because they turned out to be uncomfortable. I just need to do Angie's wet-foot trick, now that I know about it, but haven't gotten around to it.)

Now, I'm not sure that petite-heeled shoes are part of my authentic self-expression, but they are a style I have admired on others but avoided for, like, forever. Until now.

P.S. Also, I wouldn't have dreamed of even trying on a high-vamped shoe like this with a dress, until YLF.

DV this is a brilliant thread and I have been pondering your topic question for a few days now.

I have a lot of beliefs about my body that have caused me to create a lot of personal rules about what I do and don't wear. Some are realistic and help me to dress the best for my figure, some are are restrictive and unnecessary but birthed through the belief that if I can't look as good as the model wearing it, then I shouldn't bother.

Thanks to YLF, I have slowly been breaking free from some of my own rules, and have started to embrace the body I do have as opposed to the one I don't have

You look great! I like the oversized look of Marni (such as in the photo below) but I definitely have in my mind that it is a 'skinny women' look. I am very large chested and know that those oversized unstructured lines don't look best on me. Still I am drawn to the look but I have never tried it. Such a great topic. We will all learn so much!

Gorgeous!!
I believe we can always find a way to make a trend work for us!

Thank you for this post. The limitations we set upon ourselves due to our personal interpretations of our bodies can do a number on our minds, I agree.

I needed to hear it articulated this way today.

Janet - I think your outfits are amazing and your shoe collection is the stuff of dreams (at least it is for me). I am not sure I would have know that you believed your body type did not fit the style of clothing you loved. I know we all live in out heads and believe that I'm the only one who can't wear ____ but this thread had crystallized that other people think it about themselves too (albeit a different body part and article of clothing).

Firecracker -- I love those booties on you! I am so glad you posted. It's so great to see women breaking free from these self-imposed rules (especially when there's a really nice pair of booties involved).I think if you love the shoes get them and use muted color on your legs to distract you from your internal dialogue. I found nothing objectionable about your legs in skinny heels. I do in full disclosure have a strong bias for refined footwear.

Deborah - I think we're in the same boat. I have now become hyper-vigilant looking for the the next rule I impose on myself that says I can't wear ____. I haven't found it yet (probably because I'm still reeling from this) but I am sure there are still more I have not yet become aware of. I just love that YLF is a wonderful safe space to debut those looks that make us insecure.

Jeanie -- I understand about volume and a chest ! I agree with Rute now that there is a way to make look work for any body shape. I just think it's a matter of finding volume + shape.

I so appreciate everyone's input to make this an interesting thoughtful discussion thread. Thank you!

Appreciate this thoughtful post.  You look amazing in that outfit.  Double take worthy. You are so good at creating beautiful lines with well cut items that fit perfectly.  Elegant.
 
It is interesting to see the responses because the bottom line is we all have body characteristics to stir into our efforts to create a functional wardrobe that is happiness inducing.  We can be so hard on ourselves, following rules and assumptions that often mean we miss opportunities. Thanks for another wake up call.

I've definitely felt that way before.

I'm fairly tall, broad shouldered, and built on the muscular and curvy side depending on my activity levels.

I'm not into the overtly feminine, but I find many of my favorite looks either come off as "in your face curvy" on me, or simply make me look big/frumpy/chunky.

I don't change my style to reflect what flatters me persay, but I definitely am guilty of not figuring out how to wear things I do like in a way that doesn't make me feel self-conscious. I need to work on that.

For example-- I would love to work a pair of skinnies to show off booties, but can't get over the fact that I tend to look like a hip hop music video extra in them. I also struggle with the "roomy" trend, because although I like the look if the styling isn't just right you totally loose the fact that I am not as big as my shoulders and hips are all over, and one wrong piece can make me look more "mommy of 3 who gave up on my appearance" than "young, cool professional".

Such great insights here. In a way it's comforting to see others here whose style I admire have some of the same kind of concerns I do. We all adjust our love for some styles to suit our bodies.

The look below is a great example of something I wish I could wear. But I can't imagine that style of short/skirt looking right on my body. There are a lot of looks like this that make me sigh. I don't wish to be 20 years old and a size 2, but it sure would make it easier to wear something like this. I'm pretty sure that if I posted a pic of me in this, the feedback would be kind but not encouraging (the last time I bothered trying a miniskirt and posting it for feedback, even with tights, taught me this). I don't believe this is an issue of age-appropriateness, because I can think of a few 40-somethings here who would get the green light to wear this. So, it comes down to body type. I just have to find other interesting cuts that work for me. Hence my love for jackets.

You look great, DV! And isn't dressing-up a lot about experimenting!

I have tried trends that I thought wouldn't work for me -and they didn't. Like tucking tops (short torso, long legs and big bust... just no) into pants or trapeze dresses (hello, tent-shapeless-woman). But then again, I am a perfectionist.

Btw, you look FANTASTIC in that outfit.

Irene I think we have the same body (short torso, large bust, long legs) !

Outfit by outfit you are knocking me out with your style. I appreciate your courage in trying different styles that should be against the "rules" that have been drummed into our heads through magazines and books.

I love this outfit! Those red skinnies look awesome with your jacket. You look well put together and stylish....not well put together for XYZ shape or size.

I personally have been trying to get to the point where other people's problems are not my own. I have (what I think) is a gigantic butt. The butt Sir Mix A Lot wrote the song about, and no hips...it's all out back! I am also busty on top and I feel like I have spent my life minimizing myself to not be offensive looking or attention grabbing to others. I'm sure lots of you ladies know how hard it is to hide bustiness in today's age of *fitted everything* and hide your butt until "boot legs come back" LOL!!

I'm sloooowly getting to the point of accepting what I have (great curves!) and feeling like it's OK not to dress like a dumpy frump every day at the office in order to look like I'm straight built, because there's no hiding that I'm not!

I say rock those red skinnies! I hope you did wear that outfit out, or plan to in the future.

You look great. I just got some red pants. I am going to try and put together an outfit based on yours.
Vickie

Von -- I completely get where you're coming from. It's hard to not feel as if you should conform your body to the standard when that's all you see -- especially in office environments. I did indeed wear that outfit on Saturday and I'll wear versions of that outfit from now on because I know that I can.

DV, you are an articulate and inspirational lady and I always enjoy your posts. I'm not around much because my husband is deployed and baby is having medical issues but had to say that.

DV this is such an interesting post and thread and I have been following it closely.

Columbine - I hope all is well with you, your baby and your husband. I'm glad that this thread can be a bright spot for you.

Thank you DV.