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An inescapable color epiphany

viva

Veteran

I've been off the forum lately -- not feeling great about my look, my body, my style, the world, etc. - but had a color epiphany I wanted to share with you all.

Two days ago I went and had those head shots taken for my new website, and I took with me several different tops, all business casual since that is where my work lives. Anyway, in looking at the untouched proofs, what I found is that I look MUCH better in deeply saturated color than in anything pale. Also, navy may be my best color.

I want to ditch my chambray (one of the shirts I brought) and anything else in my closet that resides in that "neither here nor there" zone. I may need to move completely to fully saturated color: optic white or deep color. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this, as is illustrated by my historic ambivalence about cobalt: I know I look good in it, but I can never seem to fully embrace it. But this time, the evidence was really clear: same pose, same lighting, different top = completely different me, with one being more vibrant, more alive, more THERE.

Have you ever had an epiphany like this?

General

47 replies

Latest reply was from Quietgirl

skylurker

Veteran

Mmm, no, I'm not a sudden epiphany kind of person, more a slow distiller.

Anyway, I wouldn't throw away the chambray or other pale colours.
You also have to consider contrast, so, even if a chambray shirt feels off on its own, it may feel right again with a black, or fushia, blazer, you know?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with skylurker about not being so quick to jettison those other colors. After narrowing down my palette a few years ago, I started to get a little bored of the steady diet of blues and greens and have started inviting other colors back into my wardrobe. Sure, not all are as flattering as others, but I think we notice these things in photographs (especially head shots) more than IRL, and I don't mind a little bit of sacrifice in color flattery to shake things up in my wardrobe from time to time. As long as it's not a horrible color on me (like yellow).

Carla

Veteran

Don't be too quick with jettisoning your clothes - your feelings about them might be a part of your general malaise. Maybe give them a 'time-out' and work a small capsule of those saturated colours for a while to test your theory.

My closet is small, and mostly dark blue/navy, grey, black, and white with cognac, however a couple of outliers (olive, blush, apple green (!), purple and red) are represented and give me the break I need when I'm not feeling the neutral uniform.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am with Skylurker here. Yes, you look wonderful in saturated colour and I know for certain you shine in navy. But. As Isabelle said, you have to consider contrast also, and your feelings about a colour matter and signal something as relevant as skin tone flattery. There are more kinds of flattery than one.

For example -- theoretically I should not look great in high contrast since I am a low to medium contrast person. And it's true that a large black and white print near my face would probably make me disappear. But a navy sweater or jacket with a white or off white top? That is an entirely different matter and brings me to life more than either a lighter colour on its own or a darker one.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

ETA -- You always look beautiful, thoughtful, capable, energetic. As for the state of the world....can't go there.

Belladogga

Yup. About 8 years ago I wore a new shirt to work and a coworker said, " You should not wear that color." I thought she was incredibly rude. Shortly after I was trying on stuff from an online order of very casual pieces- tees and tanks, so all similar in style but in a variety of colors ... and it hit me as I looked in the mirror that I just looked so much "better" in some of them. I heard my coworker's comment in my head and realized that because I liked a color didn't mean I looked good in it. Light/silver grey, "dusty" anything, "milky" colors- nope. Clear and warm work much better on me. So that's something I pay attention to now. I do wear light grey bottoms but not tops.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Ditto what everyone else has said. I am sure that color is your season but it gets old fast and you may have only one notes instead of a vivid colorful wardrobe.

Anonymous

That's really interesting. But now that you mention it, I can see how the saturated colours would be your best. Hmmm. Kind of an interesting opportunity to have had to figure these things out.

As for the rest - we all hear you, been there, or are in it now, etc. Well, I shouldn't speak for anyone other than myself, so *I* hear you etc...

And as for the state of the world? You're living in a country full of turmoil right now - and I can only imagine how deeply unsettling it is to deal with it. I was reading a report from a journalist who attended a Trump rally yesterday (the reporter tweeting the experience) and it was so horrifying I went back to see if it was a joke/satiric news site. Anyways - deeply thoughtful people - and I'm one of them- find general world discord really upsetting , and it only feeds into our state of general misery. Big hug from me .

Diana

Veteran

I agree that you shouldn't ditch all the other colors just yet. How you feel about them is important too. And you can always "rescue" less flattering colors with a flattering colored scarf or necklace.

It kind of relates to Angie's post yesterday about whether you dress for yourself or others. I fall squarely into the dressing for yourself category so I think you should wear what makes you happy. (So, no cobalt for you!). That might take the form of the most flattering color, but then again it might just be the color that makes you happiest. It's all good.

I'd also repeat this exercise in the winter. Not only is most people's coloring paler in winter, the lower, more diffuse light in winter also makes a difference. And photos, esp head shots, exaggerate color affinities and dis-affinities (is that a word?) so I agree with choosing the most flattering colors if you're going to be photographed... But irl I bet most of the "unflattering" colors are just fine.

My epiphanies mostly are of the "oh, so I CAN wear this color after all" variety. Inclusive not exclusive, I guess.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I echo everything Janet says.

Like you, I look best in saturated colors. Optic white and blues as well as saturated purples & blacks are great on me. I considered donating all my beiges and tans and other not-so-great colors. Then I tried them all on, and some just *looked and felt nice* even though they didn't photograph well at all. But I "liked what I saw in the mirror". I kept these select few tops, Viva.

My honest advice: When you're feeling just bleh and want your clothes to give you a boost of confidence, wear your best colors. Really. It's awesome therapy to look stunning even though you feel like shit. But this too shall pass, Viv. You will feel better one day and then you may really regret giving away the chambray top.....especially if you like it.

Anonymous

btw- I have the same ambivalent relationship with cobalt. I like it on others, know it works for me too, but just never feel very "hip" in it. Not that I think I'm so hip, but I do strive to at least feel that way or imagine what a hip woman would wear ...;)

Peri

Veteran

I agree with the others that photos tell some truth but not the whole truth. As in, whenever you know you will be photographed, wear the colors that show you best in photos. For real life it's another story.

Once when I was doing a ballroom show I had my makeup done because I never know how to do "stage makeup". False eyelashes and everything. I felt so silly I got my DH to take a close up to send to my BF so she could have a good laugh. Well, not so much...it was the best I've ever looked in a photo. Not even kidding. You could barely see the makeup that IRL was so intense. I just looked bright, fresh, awake...just actually natural but way better than usual.

Moral of the story...things need to be intense to read well in photos. Doesn't mean less intense things don't look great IRL. And just imagine how much makeup is on those models in ads and magazines!

JAileen

Veteran

I narrowed my wardrobe to grey, blue and olive, because they were my best colors. It does feel constricting though, especially in summer. If you just can't stand the "bad" colors, put those clothes away, out of sight, and see if you change your mind. I haven't been buying other colors, but I still have plenty of them in my wardrobe. I wear some of them, but definitely avoid beige.

BTW, years ago I had someone tell me to never wear navy and white. I was never color tested, but it was pretty obvious that autumn colors were good on me. I think my coloring may have changed since then.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Viva --

I'm pretty militant about colors compared to most YLFers because I've seen over and over (on myself and others) how flattering colors seem to take on a life of their own -- hair looks better, skin looks better, eyes look shinier, joy wafts down from the sky....

And then I've seen the reverse.

So I say ditch the chambray or never, ever, ever wear it on its own again.

If you're hesitant, pull out everything in your closet that's in those warm/neutral deeper shades [and worn near your face] and try them on and see how you feel in them. I know you have a lot of great things! Then try on the others, ideally alone and then with something in the deeper shade (scarf, sweater, jacket).

Some people are fortunate in that they have a wider range of "really good/great" shades as well as a wider range of "really not bad, especially when combined with XYZ."

You may be one of them, you may not be (I'm not, though a lot of my good shades work better in prints where there are dark/light tones).

I have colors I love that don't reciprocate at ALL, and when I go there I regret it. Unless it's a bag.

But I'm really sensitive to color -- have been since I was a kid -- and have stopped fighting that sensitivity.

Cliff Notes: Yes, I'm very conscious of color. I don't want to spend money to look haggard.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I echo Janet and Skylurker, 100%. YES, you look amazing in saturated colours, but you need to find that sweet spot that is called balance. You also look great in high contrast. Don't pass on too much yet.

Sweet Viv, what is going on? Why are you so down on yourself these last few months? And can we be of support? We are here if you need us. Much love to you.

L'Abeille

Veteran

That chambray shade of blue is probably my most loved colour but it does me no favours. My parallel epiphany took place after a night on call. I'd packed my favourite top to cheer me up the next morning. Actually had a good night with a decent sleep. Got dressed, even a bit of makeup. The reaction? "Wow, that must have been a really bad night."

I didn't get rid of the chambray. But I always add some colour contrast next to my face and tweak till I like what I see. One reason I love my vast scarf collection. And on post-call mornings I stick with black which conversely creates the illusion of vigour.

catgirl

Veteran

Well, you've gotten great advice already but I'll chime in to say I don't regret limiting my colors to those that are my best AND that I love (add me to the cobalt struggle). I know just what you mean about feeling alive in the right colors. It's like that first thing in the morning lipstick test - if it instantly perks me up, it works. Though I don't quite have Vix's fortitude and discipline!

As an "all over the place" shopper, I need rules and limits to keep me on track, and this color palette thing is a good one. There are still plenty of colors I can and do wear but I don't struggle over the ones I "can't", like lavender or peach. I think of it as an unfortunate allergy.

I'm sorry you are frustrated but to me you look as amazing as always!

As for the world, I can't even begin.

Anonymous

I have the same issue as alaskagirl, so I also limit my colors. Like her, I try not to struggle too much over the colors that aren't perfect on me. As long as they're not way off the mark (like colors that wash me out or make my skin look yellow), then it's okay. It's good to have limits to stay within a budget and be able to coordinate outfits, though.

rachylou

Veteran

I had this sort of epiphany in Dress Barn. They tend not to do clear colour. And murkier colour drains ME of colour. I'm distinctly not an Autumn. I purged olives and oranges - I never would wear them anyway. Altho, admittedly I've brought back a bit of olive because it's sorta appropriate for my style.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

The color backdrop, lighting and makeup might affect your perception of colors. Don't people often get advised to wear jewel tones on tv? Not that you don't look good in them, but don't rush to change. Be well.

unfrumped

Veteran

I get this totally though I'm striving for balance. I target a few light neutrals that are good for a fresh change and more summery vibe but try to do so in pieces that have some other value as to what they bring to outfit creation or completion.
But medium- dark rich colors are my best, not pastels.
So I'm not articulating a detailed color plan very well here, but I have gotten more focused on " best" colors" plus "strategic" other colors to accomplish certain outfit or style goals.

catgirl

Veteran

BC, to clarify - when I said I don't struggle I meant I no longer try to wear those colors that are a little off for me anymore! It's like having a structure for a poem - I try to stay within the color haiku.

Anonymous

Thanks for the clarification, alaskagirl. I figured you meant that you don't sweat it too much. I somehow find a way to make the not-quite-perfect but still-in-the-ballpark colors work. For example, if I have a blouse that's best for soft summer but I'm a cool summer, it's okay because it's still a summer color. I don't stray beyond summer, but don't fret if it's not one of the absolute best colors for me. There's usually something in my closet that will work with it.

Sal

Veteran

Sorry to hear things are not quite right for you Viva. It is a period of great uncertainty and mistrust of others. It is hard to fathom.

I suggest putting in a holding zone the items you are not feeling right about at the moment. Keep the pieces you are enjoying and keep it simple. In a week or month or two you may be able to look at them with clarity. I a a bit all over the place with colour so I do wear black and charcoal knowing they are not my best, but liking the vibe they create, and I have got better at making them work for me.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I hear you Viva- I have found it very difficult lately to shrug-off what is going on in the world, so sad, so sad!
Cobalt is too 'bossy' for me so it has been evicted from my wardrobe.
Other not so great colours that I still like are worn with scarfs or toppers.

I have to add that I do so love and admire your style, and always enjoy seeing you when you post!

Brooklyn

Veteran

I agree with Vix. I don't want to spend money to look haggard. And certain colours make me look just that. I just can't wear them near my face unless I wear a LOT of make up. And I like to look healthy without the addition of makeup. So I try to avoid them in tops. I don't think it is that limiting because I can still wear them in bottoms or bags or as part of a print. Even a jacket if I am wearing a good top colour. Or a sweater if I am happy to wear a scarf. But I do apply a scale of flattery when it comes to colours. I will wear some colours near my face that I am drawn to but which are not my absolute best (black is an example) but will try to avoid colours that are my absolute worst (eg pale blue). I guess you have to know your spectrum. I suspect what you were seeing in the photos was that some colours were better than others. That does not mean the others were all bad. So that's something to think about. You always look fab Viva.

Aida

Veteran

Sorry to hear things feel down Vivian, things will turn up! *hugs* Having met you I can vouch that navy is a brilliant shade for you. I can see how those deeply saturated shades would be great, too. I don't think you need to limit yourself to those colors, though; they can easily be paired with neutrals, or muted/pastel versions, while still keeping the "brightness" for you. I agree with others to set aside some of the muted things for now, and return to them when you've got more energy for it. And add me to the group which feels eh about cobalt for herself!

Brooklyn

Veteran

Oh yes, and me too about cobalt. We can become a vocal minority here on the forum

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Not sure if it would help but when I feel at odds with the world I try to get back to nature - more time walking on the beach, or gardening or just sitting by a river - somehow it always re-connects me to the good in the world.
As for colours I'm with Vix. I look terrible in black - sure I could make it work but why? There are so many colours & neutrals that look so much better than black so it isn't like I don't have a choice. I'll join the anti-cobalt minority too

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