Hello wise ones. I have a delicate situation. My auntie on my mum’s side, by marriage, passed away a few weeks ago. My mum’s side is quite… odd about these things. And somewhat atheist. My auntie was Catholic. She *was* born in China, tho, for what it’s worth. They are not going to do anything religious. They weren’t going to do anything at all, but now have decided to burn some incense in the backyard… and it has to be said we don’t know anything about being Chinese. So extremely awkward to be honest. She was over 80, which is significant: I could wear black or brown or white or a little pink or red. It will be cold.

What would you do? I’m tempted to wear black and brown and show up with red, pink and white flowers…