Another one, though she might be cusp, judging by some of the designers she wears
@scarletthalo_

Anyways really fun style with lots of red

Hi Kari,
I used to feel more like you, not left out here at YLF as much, but at B&M stores, and I complained in detail about it in a post a while back. The replies were actually comforting to me when I found out that I was not alone, that many, many YFL'ers were sized out for other reasons, such as being too small, too short or too tall.

I have also been grateful to see Angie's efforts to include inclusive images and clothing.

As I only follow family and friends on Instagram, and rarely read a blog other than this one (except the emails I get from the stylist whose blog led me here) I won't be searching for examples. I will consider posting photos, as I rarely do. I haven't been taking photos as most of my photos are to try and style new items and I haven't been shopping. I'm also pretty private and don't really don't post photos on Facebook either. The few there are ones others posted.

Actually, I have gotten jealous when I see how good you look in your outfits, and that I can't wear them as I don't wear shape wear and my lumps and bumps won't work in those clothes. I try to remember to check that disappointment with positive self talk. Also, I usually don't find that plus size bloggers fashion works for me as they are usually either younger and in better shape than me or so significantly larger than me, with similarly outsized style and personality, that I wouldn't wear their outfits. I find the examples here are more useful.

I guess I'm here for the style direction advice I get from Angie's posts, and the encouragement and sense of community I get from Angie and Forum members. And the new perspectives. I still remember my surprise that someone said that they didn't wear color because they didn't want to stand out. But I knew this person to be quite fashion forward silhouette wise. I would have felt like I stood out in their silhouette but I wear color all the time without a thought and thought that I blended in. I love forum posts like that that let me think or rethink something, along with the personal ones.

I'm glad you post photos, even if I can't emulate your looks.

I hope you read this as supportive, even if I didn't post any links.

Capitol Hill Style usually mentions plus-size options in posts.

On IG I really like the Canadian bloggers

mycurvesndcurls

Kari, thank you for posting. This and everything else you do. I find your style inspiring, and your voice is interesting and thought provoking. I hope you know how much you are valued.

Kari, I love your style and your WIWs. I am inspired by your color palettes and silhouettes. I love how you dress up and down outfits to make the most of your wardrobe. I generally lurk between meetings and rarely have time to post, but I always read and love your posts even if I don't comment.

I come to YLF because it features real women with style budgets. You all are *my* inspiration. The common thread every one has seems to be facing their personal challenges with style, from identifying it to finding it -- that's what I find appealing about YLF. I have limited interest in looking at other sources and even usually skip past the featured blogger posts because to me it rarely represents real life, and I can see how not seeing yourself represented can feel exclusionary (one of the reasons I ignore most fashion bloggers). I rarely dig through the round ups because it is hard to identify which have petite options in clothes or wide width in shoes (my current personal challenges). But every day I am inspired by the real life WIWs of YLF posters.

I have been a range of sizes my whole life. I was fortunate that my mom taught me that regardless of my size I could look great. The most challenging time was as a cusp size petite (P16/P18) at 225 lbs. Talbots became almost my only source, yet it was not anywhere near my style. In addition, although I was plus size, it didn't work for me for how I carried my weight. So I do appreciate how having one's size available doesn't actually mean it works and how challenging having a limited number of clothing sources are and having no brick & mortar options. I am excited and grateful to see many brands extend their size range in the past couple of years. Though I agree with you it remains way too small.

In a follow up post on moving to rebuilding my wardrobe from a weight loss journey to avoid a family history of diabetes(https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....g-wardrobe) my key take away was: Weight loss doesn’t magically solve my shopping challenges. My success rate did not improve. A small number of options opened up, such as Boden, but many petite options remained a bad fit for my body shape (i.e., J. Crew). I still cannot find brick and mortar stores that stock my size with any variety and order almost exclusively online now. Going to a boutique, it's an exception if I find something that actually works, because proportions of straight sizes look like I am a kid playing in her mom's clothes -- close but not quite right. I have almost zero option for investment or high end style (not that my budget would allow it). I have an extensive necklace and scarf collection because that's often all I can find in real world shopping.

Let's celebrate our similarities -- we each care enough about our style to seek out a likeminded group to help us work through our personal style challenges.

Let's all keep sharing whatever sources that worked for us … because it could help another even if not relevant to all for a variety of reasons (size, geography, ethical philosophy, price range). Through YLF I've identified some new to me options that I would not have otherwise known about and have been inspired to experiment and test my assumptions.

I may not be fully able to participate in your challenge (since my own list of possible sources is so short to begin with), but I appreciate your intent and your challenge to us to consider the implicit bias in our choices of our inspirations.

ETA One of my personal athletic inspirations is Mirna Valerio (The Mirnavator, an ultra trail runner). I follow her on Instagram and have read and loved her book A Beautiful Work In Progress. Without a doubt she has inspired me to dream big in my athletic endeavors despite not feeling like I look like an athlete (ie not having the road runner slim physique). If you aren’t aware of her, please look her up.

Thanks so much for starting this discussion, Kari. I think it’s a really rich opportunity for all of us to find inspiration in dressing bodies that are different from our own - size, shape, race, mobility, etc. I am in!

I have a four year old daughter and I don’t want her to have to unlearn as much bad information as I have had to (and I’m still unlearning!) about which bodies are fashionable and upheld as ideals.

On another note, you and your outfits have been inspiring me for years. Thank you.

Kari, thanks so much for starting this thread. You have given me a lot to think about. I am really, really on board with the goals you suggest of increasing the inclusiveness of fashion/style and celebrating the beauty of fat, disabled, and otherwise underrepresented bodies.

I am struggling a little bit with how to put this into action in my participation on YLF. As some others have commented I don't use Instagram much nor do I follow many outfit bloggers. My interest in YLF is less about shopping than styling. And since I shop mostly secondhand* I don't make much use of finds. (*I acknowledge the size privilege that makes this a viable strategy for me.)

When I take inspiration from YLF posts it tends to be oriented not around a specific item but an idea -- a styling trick, an approach to thinking about wardrobe structure or color palettes, etc. I don't think I've managed to comment on your recent WIW threads but I've been really inspired by your casual-dressy ensembles this holiday season. That is, you seem to be able to *make* occasions to wear your dressy items, and combine them with more casual pieces in a way that looks festive but not overdone or out of place for our casual city. I hope to work on my dressy capsule in the coming months and will come back to your posts to take notes! So, I hope you'll leave your photos up.

I can say that this thread has made me think differently about the fashion-related content that I do consume -- for example, I'd been thinking about how a certain blogger never seems to mention women with kids. Well, now I realize nor do they ever highlight plus-size or disabled or gay women.

But I understand that just thinking differently isn't enough. Allyship has to be visible or audible in some way. So, like I said, I need to think more about how to do this.

That Japanese comedian lady was on Queer Eye Japan. Great style!

Kari, I appreciate the vulnerability it took to post this thread. I hear your frustration around only wanting people to contribute if they have a resource or comment that is in keeping with the original intent of your thread. I wish I had something more to contribute but I do follow individual fashion bloggers, nor do I use Instagram, etc. My thoughts are in line with Echo, Toban and RunCarla. I personally worry about comparing myself to the unfair and illusory standards set by the pictures posted in social media (blogs, Instagram, FB, etc.). Most social media pictures pictures show unusually attractive people, posed in engaging ways, particpating in fun or amazing activities. They close out reality. It's hard to remember that these pictures represent a fiction, a brief instant of time, posed for effect, and designed to leave out any moments when the person pictured has any unflattering facial tics, mannerisms, or emotional stresses. Their deception leaves us feeling inadequate. I beleive comparison to an impossibe or unrealistic standard is problematic and am aware that it happens regardless of race, size, orientation, ability, etc.

I do not disagree that there should be more variety and availability of sizes. I worry there could be false hope in thinking that increasing the numbers of diverse style icon options will decrease the negative feelings that come from social comparison. A social medica post from a diverse style icon is equally likely to have all the problematic factors present in one that you have termed non-diverse (ie. caucasian, thin, non-disabled, etc.). They will pose, their pictures will represent one moment of time, the will be particularly attractive and engaging and still cause one to feel inadequate in comparison. It's addressing a gushing wound with a bandaid instead of at it's social comparison source.

I don't think Kari was trying to level critique at anyone.

I know we hate to think that some may feel excluded from something we feel so included in, but it happens. A lot, in fact. If you want to know what can we do to make it better let's listen to what those who felt that way say. We don't really need to wring our hands so much as just listen and act differently.

I know it's super easy to have a defensive reaction. I doubt Kari's request is meant to shame anyone.

If you don't enjoy looking at inspirational style photos/blogs/etc, that's fine. I didn't take this post to be trying to get someone to do so who doesn't.

I haven't been around this forum much, busy with kids, but I do love how Angie tends to post at least a small amount of body diversity in her posts. I'd love to see a wider range of that everywhere.

I'm super excited to check out some of the bloggers others have posted, to the point that I may actually start looking at blogs again.

So thanks, Kari. I'm sorry you got sort of attacked and had to step away. You also got a lot of support, so I hope you see that.

Kari, Toban pretty much said everything I’d say (except I’m definitely not petite!) and I doubt that my list of Canadian designers whose clothes I pick to fit my 70-year-old body and style preferences would be of much use to you.

I’d like to direct folks to the earlier article I linked to about thin privilege and actions straight sized folks can take if they want to be allies.

https://medium.com/rachael-wri.....f55a6dd573

I can assure you there’s a lot of cruelty directed towards fat folks that makes this issue way more painful and complex than height or geographical location/market, though I appreciate those issues are also complex.

I am disappointed that some took my open invitation to be more inclusive as an opportunity to argue whether inclusivity is necessary. This is my experience as a long time forum member who is plus sized and has been much smaller and also larger than I am today. If you are straight sized, I can’t convince you that marginalization exists in the fashion world as well as here to a lesser extent, but my experience is that it does. Please listen and think about your privilege if you are someone who can almost always rely on your size being made, or on not being the butt of a joke because of your size or shape.

Angie and Inge, I’d like to close this thread as I’m not interested in arguing with folks who are challenging whether this is necessary. While I appreciate the majority of comments are supportive, I’m re-thinking how and whether I want to engage with the forum in the future.

Again, huge thanks to those who listen. I can assure you I’ve done a lot of privilege-assessing too and it is definitely uncomfortable at times. I appreciate the interest in sitting in a bit of an uncomfortable space and thinking about if there are ways we can do more in the future.