2023 reflections - YouLookFab Forum

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2023 reflections

rachylou

Veteran

Hello everybody! I thought I’d make a 2023 reflections post too. I started to say in LaPed’s thread:

I’m personally in a tug o’ war with myself re shopping. I don’t want to waste money and materials. On the other hand, it’s been a little too easy to buy nothing these days. I’ve been uninspired.

My life has become exceedingly casual. Formal dining is six-feet under. Everyone is so old in my family, Christmas dinner has become Christmas luncheon. I was never so happy as when the SF Ballet did an online season during covid because I can’t take the perfumes anymore going in person. I really love working in a bakery manufacturing plant and dread the idea of ever working in a corporate office setting ever again, but the best thing to work in a plant is in fact leggings. I’ve become more sensitive than ever to the economic and climate issues out there and to the fact that I’m old enough now myself that it’s time to start thinking about lightening the load of my material possessions. As in, I’m starting to loathe my queen-size bed and 96” sofa when it comes to cleaning. And my feet are super super athletic-shoes-only fussy now. Plus, if I’m not working, I’m out with the dog slogging through the cold mud.

Except I also love fashion. Here too though - I feel like I spent 2023 scrolling and scrolling for inspiration. I think basic *is* the trend and that’s… that’s not trendy! Lol! Not to be a downer, but I also don’t feel I see the quality or even design there in higher priced items much of the time.

Ok. That all said, I made my first fashion purchase of the year and am feeling perkier about it all. I have spent some money on these ski pants. Lol, not gonna ski in them. Gonna sit in an office that’s between two room-sized freezers and then head out for winter hikes. I skipped the matching short puffer because I don’t wear the short ones I have as is. Maybe I should get the fleece though.

If it proves not to be too stupid, maybe I’ll get some blue ones. Lol, trying to strike a blow for fashion. We’ll see if I regret it

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35 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I'm glad you found something cute that makes sense with your life. It sounds sooo cold at work.

rachylou

Veteran

It *is* sooooo cold at work! Last year, I bought a whole box of shoe warmers. This year, I * have* been making gear purchases and now have an array of insulated puffy shoes lol I don’t count this as ‘shopping’ because they’re pure gear and uGly ugly.

Also: I’m slightly tempted by the short puffer. I’m telling myself it will make me look like I’m wearing my jammies to work as well as trying to remind myself I don’t like short jackets. I do need my hand slapped here, lol

Joy

Veteran

I have enjoyed various winter coat lengths my newest coat is a 2/3 length that does not get caught in the car door
. It is black and has removable parts to make a black plain coat for warmer weather. I need to play with it.

rachylou

Veteran

This coat interests me, Joy! Do you have it in Finds?

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

Yayyy to shopping for the life you have now! I've started doing the same - I finally caved and also bought athletic shoes (lace up trainers) this month, to wear casually/ everyday (not at the gym). I've already decided to dress down for Chinese New Year this year l, since everyone else does - I don't mind being a little overdressed but I think there comes a point where it starts to look a little out of touch with everyone else around... Like you said, casualisation is technically the trend these days, so incorporating *some* of that helps us to look a little more 'current' at least.

Yayyy to also dressing the way you know you like & want - if you know you don't wear short puffers, then don't buy them! You can always layer a longer puffer over your ski pants OR layer something else underneath a shorter puffy (like another gilet or raincoat)? No need to spend money unnecessarily just for the sake of spending it, lol!

rachylou

Veteran

No, you’re right Zaeobi. I have an existing short puffy, should I feel the need, that will do. It has some light pink, so I could do a pattern mix and it would look less like pjs.

You’re also right about Chinese New Year. Another occasion that no longer needs fancy. I’m pretty sure my cousin doesn’t want to see us again after Thanksgiving and Xmas. She’s the only one with a house accessible to people with limited mobility, and those with limited mobility aren’t up to hosting in their own homes. So it’ll just be me and my mum having our own meal.

Also, lol, while I don’t mind being the only person dressed to the nines, I admit it feels silly to do it for lunch, especially when I’m just gonna come home and go back out for a hike with the dog. Too much fuss, ha!

Anonymous

You know I'm on Team Dress Up and environmental norm be d@mned Why on earth should I go out of my way to look worse and feel self conscious all day?
Hope the pants are a good solution for you! Could you keep a heater by you at work?
I'm with you about wanting to minimize shopping and clutter, and uninspired by most of what's out there at all price points too.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

@ suntiger
I don't think we have to deliberately 'uglify' ourselves lol (re: looking worse), but I think everyone has their own inner compass when it comes to where the line between overdressed & 'out of touch' lies. It's up to @rachylou to decide where that is for her. The goal is for no one to feel self-conscious, at whichever end of the spectrum!

I brought up Chinese New Year because I remember the last time I visited my husband's family, people were literally in windbreakers & jeans whereas I was wore red lace trousers, a silk blouse and heels - lol! I was still comfy (block heels & an elasticated waistband) but looking back on photos, I do look slightly mismatched next to MrZ (who literally wore an orange Adidas tshirt & flipflops when we visited family last month, lol). So whilst I haven't started wearing cargo shorts like him (chuckling at the thought), I did wear flat sandals with a dress & leggings last time. Only to then have my cousin's (new) girlfriend show up in a wool coat & trousers with belt loops, lol! I felt happy being at least somewhere in the middle though. @rachylou I imagine that's how it'll be for you & your mum's CNY meal?

Anyway @rachylou the pattern mixing sounds like an interesting idea, but I think you'd need to test drive first just it to be sure. Maybe that's just my own bias speaking though, from childhood memories of people making fun of me & my mother for wearing shalwar kameez outside because they 'look like pyjamas' (how I quickly learnt that western style seems to favour contrasts rather than head-to-toe print, lol).

Helena

Veteran

Rachy I resonate so much with this!!! My natural style sensibilities makes more sense in smart-casual midtown than in uber-casual suburbia. I recently watched a few videos about casual style-leggings-sweats style and how freeing it can be to embrace it and find ways to express oneself within those parameters vs always fighting with reality and it helped. For you - what about particular colours or prints to add to the mix? There is a lot you can do with trendy sneakers and those probably need regular replacement if they are your primary shoe, meaning you can keep them fresh? Xx

Helena

Veteran

And also, these ski pants are fab!!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

OMG, those ski pants are great! They are perfect for your needs, too! And pretty! I think you might need two pairs, and okay, the fleece, too.

I hear you on the necessity of dressing for real life, especially one that is active. I feel this especially in biking season. I don't want to wear pants that will get caught up or flap around, or coats that get in the way, or bags that won't fit in my panniers or work as a backpack, and on and on. It's a constant dance between gear...or regular-that-can-crossover-into-gear.

Runcarla

Veteran

You’ve described the angst I’ve been feeling, but have been unable to articulate myself. I’ve been on an inadvertent ‘no buy’ for two months, and don’t see that changing since I don’t have any needs, and the ‘wantsies are non-existent at the moment.

I’m stimulated by colourful items, but repelled by awful fabrications and shoddy workmanship. Like you said, it’s easy to buy nothing these days.

rachylou

Veteran

@ suntiger - I do have a heater. Even got a cool new one! But I spend a lot of time not at my desk, even on office days. I’m actually still ‘excessively’ creative even in leggings; it’s just fine fabrications are really out.

@ zaeobi - my CYN is gonna be exactly so. The fam used to wear suits and gowns, now it’s fleece. Dinner used to go on for hours, now everyone needs to go home and have a nap after two hours. Fancy still works, but dressed up is kinda out of touch. In my head, dressed up is a dinner gown - so over the top. Also: pattern mixing, with contrast, I feel will definitely go down better than pattern matching with a ditsy floral. I don’t know why, but if it isn’t a suit or a two-piece dress, two items in the same print run the risk of giving vibes.

@ Helena - soo… I’m told I still look like I’m on the catwalk with my Puma athletic sandals and leggings lol I suppose it’s an emotional thing. I don’t feel I’ve been participating in fashion…

@ Suz - It’s a total dance. I’ve been wearing my suit trousers to work on office days, trying to mix it up… lol, it’s so cold, I’m still wearing leggings underneath. Anything too architectural is straight out with all that flapping cloth, even though it would be cool.

rachylou

Veteran

@ Runcarla - right? It’s too easy to buy nothing. It does give angst. It’s really, I want to buy something but I’m being blocked by circumstances! Lol

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Loving the pink ski pants!I don’t think having some no buy time is a bad thing then when you see something you like you can have it guilt free.l hear you over the casualisation of life and trying to find that balance between fitting in but still ,as a fashion person ,honouring that side as well.There is no easy answer but l hope you find your fashion mojo as l always enjoy your posts.

lyn67

Veteran

I feel the same about "basic *is* the trend and that’s… that’s not trendy! Lol! Not to be a downer, but I also don’t feel I see the quality or even design there in higher priced items much of the time". Whatever you decide for slowly(or abruptly?) adjusting your sartorial prefferences to you actual life....but those new pants look gorgeous, Rachy! Enjoy!:-)

(ETA-was a bit sad to hear that your familly is so old now:-(...I still remember the times when you reported us on all those posh events you used to have in your family all dressed to the nines...Those were the times--but I also agree that one has to have their inner instict for how to mantain it's personal style with changing times and...levels of dresiness, too-amd I advice to not aim overly shy....:-))

rachylou

Veteran

@ Cardiff Girl - I’m probably unreasonably afraid of becoming a medieval peasant - fashion styles lasting centuries. Or more accurately, I have internalised the medieval peasant aspiration of new clothes once a year from too much historical fiction, lol! I also have this impression it was easier once upon a time to find inspiration and be impressed by what fashionable people were doing.

@ lyn - I’m loving the term *shy.* That’s what I don’t want in one word. I need to find basic that doesn’t work like an invisibility cloak. And ps, those times *were* the gilded age. When there was a Season and Summer at the Beach Club. One does miss it. I have one old friend who calls me up to reminisce about it. He took up cooking to try and relive it at least a little bit. Haha!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

It is depressing not to be interested in anything out there. I hope it is more of a mood than a permanent state, although I hear you about the state of the world. But the new ski pants look fantastic.

rachylou

Veteran

@ Jaime - I hope it’s the state of fashion and not me… although I suppose it’s my fault I live so far from Stanford mall now, lol

Indigoprint

Veteran

I hear you fer sure. I think you are on the right track to find the fun/ fashion for what works for you. Love those pants. And did you not recently get a Fab hat?
I work with toddlers and they are messy and on the floor so I have to always consider washability and clothing that allows lots of movement yet still look professional. Always a balance

rachylou

Veteran

@ Indigoprint - good memory! I did get a hat and matching gloves, scarf. It was spur of the moment; I was caught out in the cold without. Got two other hats too that way. Don’t know why I try to do without a hat!

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

Oh wow, that's quite a shift in dressiness levels - & event types! How do you feel about the change? Can't tell if you're stoked or miffed to go home for a nap after a 2 hour event lol?

Yes, what you said makes sense RE: matching prints. I think I just have a completely different point of reference that I have no idea... I remember trying to wear shalwar kameez the 'western' way when I was younger (with trousers in a tonally similar print/ colour) & my father thought I hadn't finished getting dressed yet. -_- So I'd trust your judgement much more than mine on this one, lol!

We also have the same 'new clothes once a year' mindset in my culture (though for us it's for Eid), so I understand it can be hard to shake. My mother was visibly disappointed when I told her I wore something I already had in my closet this year, lol! But these are folk who also won't shop secondhand (will donate clothing directly to those in poverty instead) so I believe this mindset partially comes from this different way of living (most folk don't live in such communities in the west &/ or outside of medieval times anymore).

rachylou

Veteran

@ Zaeobi - I both miss it and cannot find it in myself to do it anymore. Besides the perfume at the opera, it has become a nightmare to go into the city. I had to leave three hours early to go to dinner with above friend the last time he visited. You add the two hours it takes to dress properly then the time to actually have dinner - all the way to armagnac at the end - it’s been like 12 hours! And lol, re your dad! My dad used to very annoyingly pick at me for lint! Lol!

ChristelJ

Veteran

I really relate to what you say re: the casualization, the need to be practical, pare down possessions, and also need for some fashion-related excitement. Your pink pants seem like a fantastic response. I am searching for my equivalent. And the suit pants with leggings underneath sound excellent! You have great instincts.

Ket

Veteran

Oh Rachy, the ski pants are SO YOU! They give me Betsy Johnson vibes for some reason.

I have been feeling my way through making my fashion more practical -- moreso than ever. Somehow I kept my clothes quite dressy or higher maintenance when my kiddo was a baby and toddler. Now that we've entered 1st grade, I find myself needing practical, secret comfortable, and the like. We will be commuting 2-3 days a week for various lessons and events, which is far more than ever. I still love a good heeled boot and will never entirely be sweats 24/7. But comfort has a new appeal to me.

For me, love it or hate it, polyester has been a great help in my journey, mostly for bottoms. I need technical type fabrics that look dressy but have stretch and ease to them. Fabrics that can take some abrasion and wear without wearing holes in them 6 months down the road. Natural fibers are also in my mix. But for bottoms, polyester has been a godsend. Down the road I might invest in some high tech wool leggings. But for now, polyester crepe slacks, polyester Ponte skirts, and some cheap denim jeggings are what I'm making the most of.

Not sure if that helps at all. I feel your plight. I am slowly finding my groove with fashion and making it wearable again for this current season. I pray the same for you <3 xo

rachylou

Veteran

@ ChristelJ - I am slow and blind. First, only today have I understood that’s an L not an I in your handle And second, it’s been five years since the bakery took over my life and only now am I starting to think of it as not a hobby job. I need to reinterpret!

@ Ket - I do love Betsy Johnson. And yes, also *guilty* of polyester. It’s just easier to get dough off, warmer in a cavernous place that can’t be heated and easy to move in. If I just had a task that worked my abs, it would be a complete gym workout.

Joyce B

Veteran

I am loving your new ski pants. Who says they are only for skiing, anyway .
I am with you on the part about athletic shoes. Ever since I found good jogging shoes, I have not enjoyed my leather shoes that I used to love.

Sal

Veteran

Interesting and honest reflections. Getting real about what you want and need can be confronting.

Temperature variations at work are hard. And in a hands on job you need practical clothing.

Love the ski pants - let us know how you get on.

rachylou

Veteran

@ Joyce - my leather shoes injure my feet now... it's pretty terrible

@ Sal - it's a reckoning. I need to start lightening the load before I'm too old to want to lift storage crates. I mean, I already don't want to

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