Practicing Self-Acceptance

I’m generally a happy, satisfied, confident and positive person, but I also have sad, vulnerable moments, and times when feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt come to the forefront. When I catch myself feeling negative, I make a point of practising self-acceptance. This creates positive energy that affects what I do, how I think, and how I interact with those around me.

I remind myself to let go of things that I cannot change, and focus on the things I can change. I try to reframe negative situations to see the opportunities they represent. I set goals to solve problems or seize opportunities, and work towards them in some big or small way each day. As I make progress towards reaching my goals, I’m rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

I identify my strengths, realistically appraise my capabilities, embrace what makes me unique and eccentric, and give myself a big pat on the back for what I am doing right.

I identify my limitations and weaknesses, forgive myself for past mistakes, and embrace the fact that with each new day I can improve my behaviour and make better choices that positively affect others and me. I fully accept that I can’t please everyone, can’t be popular with everyone, and that imperfections are okay.

I compare, but do not despair. We all have our challenges, big and small, even when we don’t speak about them openly and publicly. There will always be someone who is doing better than you by some measure, and that’s not a bad thing. I try to view others as inspiration, not competition. I’ve found this liberating, and believe it has made me more accepting and tolerant of others.

I embrace an attitude of gratitude.

As far as I can, I try to remove the negative influences of my life, and surround myself with supportive loved ones — human and canine — who are wise, soothing, kind, affectionate, funny, and make me feel like what I say and do matters.

I give myself permission to dream, because that’s the first step to making a so-called impossibility a reality. Taking steps to actualize my dreams — no matter how small those steps are — is very fulfilling.

And last, I make fun and relaxation a priority.

For me, self-acceptance is therapeutic, calming, strengthening, and sets me up for constructive improvement. It creates positive body image, helps me identify and prioritize what is important in life, builds my self-esteem, protects me from harsh criticism, and makes for a much more fun and relaxed style journey.

White Outfit Components and Grey Hair

I’ve noticed how fabulous white outfit components look on people with grey hair, and my clients generally feel the same way. By white, I mean shades of white, which can range from cool-toned optical white, off-white and bone, to warmer off-whites, ivory, cream, and a very light tan. By grey hair I mean any shade of salt and pepper and darker grey, to all sorts of silver, light grey, and white. 

Here are some examples.

The pairing of a white outfit component with grey hair is especially fab to my eye when the whites and greys match in tone. For example, matching cool whites with cool grey hair, and warmer whites with warmer grey hair.

The white components of the outfit can range from subtle to bold. A solid white top or topper that is closely positioned to grey hair, thereby strengthening the colour match and repetition, is a bold approach. A more bookended approach of white bottoms and footwear can be equally effective, but less bold. There’s the more subtle approach of wearing white components in patterns and textures that pick up the white bits in grey hair. And there’s the subtle accessory in a shade of white, like pearls, handbags, belts, eyewear, and jewellery, that reinforces the aesthetically pleasing colour match.

1. Cool Tones

Here the wearer has cool-toned white hair that works beautifully with the cool-toned optical white topper, and white soles of the shoes. Beautiful.

Cool Tones

2. Dark and Light

The wearer here has darker cool-toned grey hair that is combined with cool-toned white bottoms and a pattern with a cool-toned greyish white embroidery. Smashing matching.

Dark Light

3. Warm Tones

The wearer has warmer grey hair making the warmer, off-white bottoms a super match. The bookended white footwear is cracked with gold, which softens and warms the starkness of cold white. The necklace with white stones and gold metal are a fabulously warm and matching finishing touch. Gorgeous.

Warm Tones

Over to those who have greying or grey hair. Do you enjoy incorporating shades of white in your outfits because of the delightful colour match? If so, do you do so in a bold or subtle way?

Fashion News Roundup: April 2021

Plans for the Met Gala, a certain sandal making a comeback, a new suit rental service, and other news from the style trenches this month.

Fun Fashion Quote

I’m still thinking about this quote on aging from Suzanne Moore I read in The Guardian a while ago:

“A lot of rubbish is talked about getting older. Nora Ephron is the go-to person for women with crepey necks. Me? I prefer Ursula K Le Guin: ‘I am not ‘in’ this body. I am this body. Waist or no waist.’ That is a life lesson I would like every girl to learn. Le Guin also said: ‘Erase my age, you erase my life — me.'”

Roundups

Simpler Items

This week's list of top picks list is about basic pieces.

Read More

Assorted Items

Items for Summer, both in and out of air conditioning.

Read More

Casual Summer Vibes

This week's top picks are good for a casual Summer vibe.

Read More

Summery Earth Tones

These items are for those who like to wear casual earth tones in warm and hot weather.

Read More

Hints of Spring

Some tried-and-tested winning items to refresh your style for Spring.

Read More

Dressier Items

An assortment of dressier top picks might be just what the doctor ordered.

Read More

Outfit Formula: Summery Long Tank

This formula is for Team Untucked Top because the long tank, or sleeveless blouse, looks best when it’s worn over bottoms. The long tank can be a useful Summer addition to your wardrobe, because it’s fluidly breezy, forgiving on the midsection, very comfy, dressier than a T-shirt, and layers well under cardigans and jackets. In its most basic and quiet form, it makes a good wardrobe essential. It provides an effective blank canvas for neck and arm candy too.

Long tanks can be knitted or woven, simple or more styled, and come in all sorts of patterns and colours. Lengths vary.

Here’s a good assortment:

You can pair long tanks with most bottoms. They look good with pencil skirts, although that’s not shown in the outfits below.

1. Two-Piece Jumpsuit

Combine a long tank with a pair of pants in the same colour, or a very low-contrast colour, to create the effect of a jumpsuit. I love the silhouette and movement of the wider pants, but choose a narrower silhouette if that’s more to your taste. Finish off the look with warm-weather shoes. The trendy classic white sneakers here look great too. A denim jacket is a nice way to top off the look if you need a little insulation.

Two Piece Jumpsuit

2. White Bottoms

This is the more familiar long-over-lean look, which continues to be popular because people tend to feel streamlined in these proportions. Combine a long tank with a pair of narrow white bottoms, and finish off the outfit with metallic sandals and jewellery to match. You can create a low or high contrast with the top, and throw in a pattern if you like. The hem on this long tank is straight, which might create too much of a horizontal line. If that’s the case, choose a long tank with an asymmetrical hemline.

White Bottoms

3. Long Shorts

Here’s an A-line version of a long tank with an asymmetrical hem, which adds a good bit of outfit interest because of the magical diagonal lines. For those who like to wear the long-over-lean look, it looks fab over a pair of slim long shorts or clamdiggers. Add slides, mules, Birkies, or sandals, and jazz things up with some bling.

Long Shorts

4. Wide Crops

Combine a long flared tank with a pair of wide crops. The tank is a little shorter than the rest, which elongates the leg line a bit. Add Summery footwear, and a pretty bag to match. The pattern mixing is not essential. The top would look great with solid white bottoms. The black sandals bookend the model’s hair, which works well. I can see pink flats that match the bag work well too. Add jewellery, watch and eyewear as desired.

Wide Crops

Coincidentally, these looks have been styled with sneakers and flat footwear. Throw in heels, platforms, flatforms, and wedges if that’s more your vibe.

Link Love: Aging Your Way

Writer, director, and producer Justine Bateman has a new book out, Face: One Square Foot of Skin, that delves into why she, and other women, must grapple with the “imagined reality that older women’s faces” are often thought of as being “unattractive, undesirable, and something to be ‘fixed.'”

In This Guardian article women share why they stopped dyeing their hair during the pandemic, and what it means to them.

Noon, a new multimedia platform, is all about empowering women in midlife, and has enlisted fashion expert Stacey Duguid to regularly share her two cents about style: “Stacey believes in fashion at midlife being a positive part of our daily experience– not about trends, do’s and don’ts but about clothes that enhance our lives and make us feel amazing.”

Fab Links from Our Members

Minaminu loves Bjork and her quirkiness. This article tells the story of her famous dress sense, including the famous swan dress.

Really Though, What Jeans Are in Style Now?” Shevia found this funny and accurate.

Nuancedream directs us to this fascinating blog post on the YKK zipper. She says: “I had no idea about the history of the YKK, but now understand why it is the gold standard for zippers.”

Marlene enjoyed seeing which must-haves stylist Kate Young has at the ready in her fashion tool kit.

Why Is No One Talking About 1930s Shoes?” Vildy recommends watching this YouTube video, and adds: “Have a look at those curved
arched outsoles on the heels.”

Runcarla finds the topic of ‘revenge shopping‘ — buying a bunch of new clothing to celebrate the waning of the pandemic — quite interesting. She wonders how this will square with a desire for ethical and sustainable acquisition of fashion items?