RachyLou, still don't think that makes the word unfeminine. Maybe negatively feminine, but not manly.

AnnaG, you really irritated me with that note. It may be how you feel but I wholeheartedly reject that pregnant women or women with children expect others to "pick up their slack." As for not being seen as a woman because you don't have kids, I don't even know where to start untangling that. It was absolutely not my experience working when I was single nor is it an accepted approach now that I have a kid. Nor do I feel "more like a woman" now.

I know you're bitter about some personal experiences but don't tar all mothers with the same brush.

Who knew, certainly not me, that I would have a reaction to this term? I would prefer to be above such resistance, but the picture it conjured up was matronly. I know that I embrace femininity and use the term often... Of course I also use Sassy, so quite the opposite of my personal reaction to womanly... Such an interesting topic!

Over 20 years ago at the age of 32, I was in a crowd of 2000 people in one bar, 20 minutes until midnight on New Year's Eve. Suddenly the crowd parted (no logical explanation for this- freaked out the guy friend he was with ) and I was face to face with a boy from my teen years - who had been something special. I later asked him what was the first thing that went through his mind and he answered: "WOW! She's a woman!"

That word has no negative connotations for me. Doesn't seem to have any negative connotations for a real man.

I am woman hear me ROAR.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUBnxqEVKlk

Proud to be WOMANLY!!!!!

IK, I'll just shut up. My experiences are my experiences, and I guess they don't matter a whit.
I do find it interesting that even if they object to the terminology of womanly, most of the forum in dressing they want to play up some aspect of it. Figure flattering and all that. I have yet to see a Drag King on here.

So interesting! I'm not sure I had any reaction, either positive or negative to the word. And if someone called an outfit womanly, I think I would take it as grown up feminine.

I've just asked my husband his opinion on the term - what it would be used to describe - he said "older, dowdy, maybe without shape" - fascinating!

Just some side thoughts - gal is definitely an American thing - if I went around calling my female friends "gals", they would wonder what drug I was one. We do use the words lady and girl here a lot. So a ladies night, or a girly dinner...

In SA, it's common for Afrikaans kids to call adults, regardless of their relationship "Oom" for uncle and "Tannie" for aunt... I think I reacted visibly the first few times I was addressed as "Tannie" by some random Afrikaans kid. Even as an legitimate aunt now, I think prefer to be called Hilly as opposed to Aunty Hilly, although my nieces use the words interchangeably. I do love it though when one of my closest friend's 3 year old calls me Uncle Hil

I dunno, Anna, it seems to me that plenty of forum participants have tomboyish, "prince" or even knightly style personas.

But it is interesting that the term "womanly" is so loaded for so many. It does seem to imply an image more Joan Holloway than Megan Draper, to use some Mad Men examples. I also get an almost cartoonish image in my mind from the word. Who knows, maybe at some point it will be reclaimed and redefined by feminists.

The tomboyish, princely and knightly's on here are a far, far cry from truly androgynous dressing.

Hmm. Yeah, I guess I see your point. But I can't think of anyone I know IRL who dresses in a truly androgynous way who does it in an intentional, fashion-oriented way, much less participates in a style forum. Maybe it's different in Seattle.

IK - I think it does make it unfeminine. Because it's used to refer to a mock femininity. If it's mock, it's not.

I do think woman is a bit different from womanly. Woman can just be the label for the general category.

Also, I do think it's the term by-and-large used to describe adult females lacking in grace. I don't mean without elegance or daintiness, but with insufficient amounts of "religious" virtues such as patience and charity.

But that's by-and-large. A word is just a word. Words are tools that we use, bend, augment to convey our messages. I feel there's a wave of younger women these days coming to the term through motherhood. And I do think they mean something quite different. They're trying to express their wonder at nature, which they hadn't quite encountered before.

I have just realised I am a great big hypocrite! I say I struggle with girlish ness in my 40s yet my name is Kiwigirl on this forum. I should be Kiwiwoman.

This just shows how 'loaded' and complicated words can be.

Off to slink into a corner
Kiwigirl/ Kiwiwoman/Sally

I keyed in womanly and got this. I think it is very interesting.

Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013
by the Philip Lief Group.

Womanly - adj feminine

Relevance ranks synonyms and suggests the best
matches based on how closely a synonym’s sense matches the sense you selected.

Complexity sorts synonyms based on their difficulty.
Adjust it higher to choose from words that are more complex.

Informal words should be reserved for casual, colloquial
communication.

Synonyms for womanly

female, girlish, ladylike, maidenly, matronly, motherly, womanish

More words related to womanly

effeminate - adj. having female qualities

• epicene, feminine, womanish, womanlike, womanly

female – adj. having the qualities or
characteristics of a woman

• effeminate, fecund, feminine, fertile, maternal, muliebrous, womanish, womanly

womanish - adj.
feminine

• effeminate, female, unmasculine, womanly

ladylike - adj. feminine

• courtly, cultured, decorous, elegant, genteel, modest, polite, proper, refined, respectable, well-bred, well-mannered, womanly

unmanly - adj. feminine

• effeminate, emasculate, sissy, unmanful, unmanlike, womanish, womanly

feminine - adj. girlish

• dainty, effeminate, female, ladylike, soft, tender, womanish, womanly

distaff - adj. feminine

• female, femalelike, ladylike, maternal, muliebral, womanish, womanly

sissified - adj. effeminate

• epicene, feminine, sissyish, unmanly, womanish, womanlike, womanly

sissyish -
adj. effeminate

• epicene, feminine, sissified, unmanly, womanish, womanlike

Fecund! Now there's a compliment to warm any woman's heart! I'm not sure even the woman from 19 Kids and Counting wants to be called fecund.

Annagybe, anyone who says you're not a woman because you're single and don't have kids is a thoughtless moron. I'm sorry that happened to you. I do think that we're stuck in this in-between place with gender roles; supposedly we're so enlightened but really we've just made it so women can't win - either they're unfeminine if they prioritize their career or personal goals; if they prioritize having kids or taking care of a family, they're lazy and unintellectual.

When I think of 'womanly' in the context of figure type, I do tend to think of curvy, busty, thicker thighs and butt - everything that signals to our hindbrains that someone would be a good childbearer. I've got that general sort of body and it's one of the reasons I tend to avoid bombshell styles, or anything too girly and young - both tend to look risable on my body type, and lead to comments I don't appreciate.

I tend to use 'gal' or 'lady' as synonyms for woman, and yes, 'girl' (points to username). For a while I used 'chicks' in an offhand way but I know that that rubs some women the wrong way too.

AnnaG - I didn't say your experiences didn't matter. I said that I was irritated with your statement that pregnant women and women with children expect others to pick up their slack. Seriously, every single woman you know who's had kids dumps on you? I find that hard to believe.

Also, I think you're conflating "womanly" with "wants to be recognizable as a woman." I think most women on the forum very much want to be recognizable as female, no matter their feelings about different terms to describe that impulse. The (happily few) times I've been taken for a man, the men I've been with found it hilarious, and it wasn't nice at all. Claiming our femaleness is a source of power. Someone else taking it away is a way of crippling that person. If I had to choose between being described as "womanly" or as "manly," I'd rather be womanly. Damn straight.

RachyLou - I don't think it "womanly" refers to mock femininity either, really. It's more about a standard they're not ready to reach, like telling a beginning basketball player they're no LeBron.

Very interesting how a term changes from person to person.

OK i'm sticking with "muliebrous" from now on...

(Aside to Anna: Sorry if I set off a spate of bad memories with my comments... which really were just random ramblings; but from the perspective of someone in a once predominantly male profession, who gets paid only when I am working. Your work situation (shift work, and more women than men, I am guessing?) is different, and I think you have suffered from being expected to pick up the slack for others who don't want to pull their own weight. I think you rock!)

Don't know, IK. That sounds like a display of something mock to me.

Each their own, right?

To me "womanly" also speaks to personality: nurturing, flexible, warm, caring. I do not come across that way, except sometimes to my kids, and I wish I did.

Many years ago younger DD, maybe 7 at the time, took to calling me "motherly" and I was put off until she made it clear that by "motherly" she meant chic and well put together!

It occurs to me that womanly and wifely may not be able to share the same boat...

Ok, my head is spinning now.

I avoid descriptors like womanly, feminine, ladylike, matronly, and girly. They seem too limited to capture my experience of being female in America in the 21st century. They're too gendered for me to feel comfortable about using them (but that's for another thread).

Yikes, rachylou. I am taking a wild guess that "wife", let alone "wifely", is just as loaded as womanly and would have just as many varied reactions as this thread! From the very moment a woman becomes married, the expression "I now pronounce you man and wife" is SO loaded with objectification, loss of identity and autonomy and agency.

Can o' worm, Echo, can o' worm. And I just had to go there.

Where's Astrid? My authority on German. I feel like German has no separate words for husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. It's man, woman, boy friend, and girl friend. But I could be wrong.

RachyLou, I swear you have entirely different connotations for words! It's always so interesting. What words so you LIKE that might be in the same key?

Maybe it's because I'm so preppy, which are a rather androgynous lot. People who are identified by their sexuality or whose accomplishments come from it are low-brows.

So nurturing is nurturing. Grown-up is adult. Curvy is curvaceous. And motherly is a completely foreign concept

I think the Always campaign "LIke a Girl" video is brilliant and may just be a clue as to the programming that has led to my not so proud reaction to the word womanly...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs

*laughing* Oh, how you've nailed it, Rachylou.

"People who are defined by their sexuality or whose accomplishments come from it are low-brows." That message was delivered loud and clear throughout my formative years, usually with a accompanying sniff and look of disdain. Explains why the words "feminine" and "ladylike" fill me with a vague sense of unease when applied to dressing. I'd be mortified if someone described an outfit that I was wearing as "hot", unless I was wearing layers of wool clothing!

It sortof makes me sad that sexuality is so devalued in the States. It should be a source of happy power, IMO. Maybe not to the extent that Miley Cyrus claims it is - no one will see me nude on a wrecking ball anytime soon - but I do think the negative connotations of sexual success are more harmful than good. In other words, I DO strive to be sexy in my own, narrowly defined way, without being sexualized, and this makes me feel powerful, feminine, and yes, like a woman.

I agree, IK.

*Nude on a wrecking ball.* Lol. There's something for us all to strive for.

It's interesting. Sexuality is devalued in the States, but I shouldn't think most devalue it in the way preppies devalue it. I'd say it's devalued along the lines of cheap entertainment. People don't recognise it for the basic physiological function it is. People learn not to poop in their pants; they don't seem to learn to keep it in their pants. That fascinates me no end.

AG- you start such interesting, thought-provoking threads, with such intelligent, thought-provoking replies.
Kudos to the deep-thinkers on YLF