"Womanly": how do you feel about it? - YouLookFab Forum

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"Womanly": how do you feel about it?

catgirl

Veteran

I've seen a few sites recently where bloggers praise an item that makes them feel "womanly". I take this to mean sexy and feminine. But I have to admit there is an undercurrent of "matronly" or even more oddly, "busty", in my mind, and I don't know why. I don't want to feel "girly". but I don't want to feel "womanly" either! What's in between those two? Is it bizarre that I don't think about gender norms much when dressing? I tend to think "if I'm wearing it and I'm female, it's a girl thing to wear."

Anyone else have weird associations with words like this? We've discussed before how we want to feel in our clothes - I know for me it's strong, fierce, competent, and a little insouciant. Thoughts?

Dressing

131 replies

Latest reply was from Caro in Oz

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I'm with you. When I think "womanly" I think curvy and voluptuous. And motherly. And while I'm a mother, I don't want to look like one!

Ok, how much sense does that make? I guess it's dressing for a role rather than just to be me.

Interesting.

Echo

Veteran

Yes, for some reason I cannot quite explain, I have the same associations with the word "womanly". I associate it with matronly, and it brings to mind a "handsome woman" in my mind (which might open a whole other can of worms with that expression).

Joy

Veteran

Yes, I agree with your associations with "womanly". I'd prefer " feminine". It feels more right for a variety of body types and ages.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Reminds me of the first time in France when I was called Madame instead of Madamoiselle. Accurate-yes, pleasant-no.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Well my current status in life excludes all standard parameters of being a woman. So I would be either surprised or realize that they know nothing about me.

Quietgirl

Veteran

I agree with you, Alaskagirl. I personally read it Matronly.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I don't like it. I am not sure if it is the matronly connotation or the sexual one. Ladylike is fine with me as a description on the other hand, but means something totally different. Hmm.

Zibbets

Veteran

I hear "ample" and perhaps "Rubinesque" when I hear "womanly." I picture this gal...

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Vildy

Veteran

I quite like it and it makes me think of wisdom and also know-how, of any kind you can think of.

Nebraskim

Veteran

Womanly also, sadly, has for me a plus-size connotation. (Please, I'm not dissing those of us who wear plus!) But lots of sizing is Misses, Petites and Women's. (Or at least here in Nebraska it's that way). Womanly does not equate with feminine for me.

Echo

Veteran

^ That's an excellent point, Nebraskim. I wonder if that is how many of us developed our views on the word "womanly". And if it is, how sad that the association with sizes over 14 immediately creates a negative impression in many minds.

Runcarla

Veteran

Hmmm. I'll be the spanner in the works here, and embrace womanly since it evokes an Amazonian sensibility for me! The D&G adverts have a certain womanly-ness to them as do designs by Carolina Herrera and Donna Karan. Yes, womanly is more mature, but I don't mind owning my maturity! It does not have a negative connotation for me.

rabbit

Veteran

I don't have a negative association, but like several folks mentioned, I subconsciously equated it a little with 'busty'. I think that has to do with the plus department connection, and me trying on certain tops in that area and realizing I needed a little more up there to make it work.

ETA: after reading Az's comment, I also equate it with the kind of woman's body found in bodice ripper historical romances: curves in all the right places, or a classic 40's-50's bombshell figure.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I read "womanly" in a positive way, but it's not something I normally aim for when it comes to my personal style. I think it's generally intended as a positive descriptor, in the sense of "feminine in a grown-up way" (as opposed to a little-girl way, or an old lady way). I picture a "womanly" woman to have curves in "all the right places" (as they say), as a sexually appealing woman in her prime might have. When I hear "matronly", on the other hand, I think of those figure changes that tend to appear in middle age and onward -- a larger, lower bust, a thickening waist, etc. Matronly is definitely intended as a negative descriptor. Maybe you're conflating womanly and matronly into general bustiness, something which you're not a fan of.

Ladylike is a whole nother thing.

That said, I don't go in for "womanly" when it comes to my own style. I aim for "boyish" or "gamine", and try to downplay my breasts if possible. (Hips, breasts and womanliness tend to go hand-in-hand, don't you think?).

ETA if I were tall, I'd be totally into womanly for my personal style. I just avoid it because I'm so little. Tiny women can't be Amazons.

Gigi

Veteran

I have the same association as you. I don't mind "sexy" or "feminine", but womanly makes me think of "matronly."

It's funny how we have these associations with words. I can only imagine how difficult it is for someone learning English as a foreign language to figure it all out!

Thistle

Veteran

I think of womanly as more feminine with a dose of sexy tossed in. It doesn't make me think matronly, but it does make me think older than teenager. Which, I guess in our culture, starts to skew matronly . . . In some circles, anyway.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

To me it is to do with being an adult (not a girl) female. I actually like it & don't associate it with being frumpy or matronly. High five Vildy & Runcarla

My style mantra is womanly androgyny - I don't want to be a man but I don't want to wear a lot of traditional western female/feminine clothing either.

catgirl

Veteran

I have no problem with taking back a word and reclaiming it if needed! I wonder about "manly" too - I don't think of my ideal man as "manly' per se. Too much like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast?

Fascinating that so many others have similar associations, and glad to know that some do not. I am a feminist to the core, so it kind of bugs me that I feel a bit negative about it.

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deb

Veteran

I agree with Caro. I hate being called a girl and if I am called a girl I always respond that I am a woman. So, in that sense, being womanly means wise. Like I have earned these womanly stripes.

Echo

Veteran

Fascinating. I have a negative reaction to the word "manly", too. It almost creates a comical, one-dimensional image in my head.

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, I'd rather be called a woman than a girl. I grit my teeth every time I hear a group of 40+ females refer to themselves as "girls". I can't help but wonder if it springs from the same source as males who want to stay "guys" instead of being "men".

Angie_T

I agree with Joy that feminine is in between womanly and girly. Or how about fecund?

Just kidding.

Aubergine

Veteran

The word "womanly" doesn't really appeal to me either. Although I don't really have the matronly associations other people do. It's more that it sounds a little retrograde to me. Like, I expect to see it used in a discussion of how ideal womanly virtues include nurturing, modesty, and setting a good table for the menfolk.

I do like the idea of a term to convey feeling attractive in a grown-up way, not a girlish way, though.

Gaylene, I'm ashamed to say I've been guilty of using "girl" instead of "woman" sometimes in casual conversation. Not because I want to sound cute or young, but just because it sounds less formal to me. I'm trying to phase that out, though, because I'm getting to the age where it might sound like I'm aiming to seem younger.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I prefer "feminine," but I wouldn't be offended if someone called me "womanly." (I don't think I would, anyway; depends on the context, I suppose.) I do associate the word with more curves, maybe someone more amply endowed than myself, so I don't usually think of myself as "womanly," physically. But I think the word can have non-physical connotations as well.

Gigi

Veteran

Aubergine, I used to use "girl" a lot too for an informal term, but it does start to sound a little strange once you get up into middle age! I have switched to "gal." At least in my neck of the woods, that term is used quite a bit as an informal counterpart to "guy."

MsMaven

Veteran

For me womanly has connotations of a fifties housewife and Mom--well, my Mom. Not matronly but not stylish or chic either. And a soft pillowy comfy non-threatening body.

Marley

Veteran

I would like to embrace "womanly." I'm ashamed to say that there is something about it that makes me have a slight negative reaction - I'm not sure what it's about!

deb

Veteran

Per Mariam Webster

wom·an·ly

adjective \-lē\

.

: having or showing qualities (such as beauty or gentleness) that are expected in a woman

Neel

Veteran

For me womanly has to do with maturity. I would feel grown up if someone called me that. I don't think of it as a bodily parameter, sizing or anything physical at all. But I am not sure if I like feeling grown up! So I am a bit blah about the word

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