My daughter is starting kindergarten at a new school this fall. She is doing a camp this summer at the school to get to know the other incoming kindergarteners. Most of the time I have to work and our nanny is doing drop off and pickup, but when I can I try to take her there or pick her up if my schedule allows so that I can meet some of the other parents. So this morning I was wearing my floral pants outfit below, and after I dropped her off a few of the moms were talking outside. One of them I had met before and she was dressed in scrubs (she's a nurse). The other two I hadn't met before--one mom was older and I don't remember what she was wearing, something like a plain white shirt and black trousers, and another mom was wearing yoga or athletic pants and a turquoise athletic jacket (like Athleta or Lululemon type gear). We all chatted for about five or ten minutes. As we were walking back to our cars, scrubs mom said to me that she really liked my pants and matching shoes and said to yoga pants mom, "Isn't she cute? She's always dressed so nicely!" Then yoga pants mom said something like, "Oh yes, but I never try to dress up or look so snazzy myself. Snazzy is overrated." OK...I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt...I guess that could be taken as a somewhat backhanded compliment, but I sort of felt like she was making a dig at me and my outfit. I'd never met her before. Was she intimidated by how I was dressed or was she just expressing her own personal taste and stating that she isn't interested in fashion? Why would she say that?

I wouldn't have been dressed so "snazzily", but I was on my way to work so I wasn't wearing MOTG clothes. Even so, I don't have any of these popular/ubiquitous athletic wear outfits (because I'm too lazy to go to the gym or work out, LOL!). I really want to make friends with the parents so that my daughters will have friends to play with (because often times if the parents click then they'll make play dates for their kids). I'm just wondering if my fashion style is turning people off and/or intimidating them? Should I try harder to tone things down and blend in? I'm normally pretty shy and quiet so that's already kind of a social handicap for me. I try to smile and be friendly and most of the parents so far are really nice. I could see how dressing a certain way as some moms around here do (stepping out of their Range Rover, hair perfectly coiffed, full makeup and mani/pedi, designer logos head to toe) might give off a certain impression, but am I now lumped into this category because I show up in my $15 floral H&M pants?

Earlier this year when I was trying to set up a playdate to meet other moms from my online mommy board, several people said they didn't think they should come because they didn't have anything fashionable enough to wear (I post in the mommy fashion section on that board too so I'm sort of known as a fashionista there). I never said that was a requirement. I don't know if they were joking, but it ended up being only one mom that I met with. I don't want fashion to make me seem unapproachable or intimidating!

I know we've talked about this issue before--blending in with the environmental norm esp. when entering a new social group, whether at work or socially. Should I try to dress more "normally" or continue to follow my own personal style? I don't want to make this harder on myself socially! What do you do? Do you try to conform in new situations?

BTW Did I mention how much I hate the word snazzy? It seems like a putdown rather than a compliment. Definitely not one of my style aspirations!