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Parting of our ways - but where does it leave, or take, me?

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

This started as a long post about hows and whys, which I kept editing as it all distills to one thing:

I'm done with the tee shirts.

They are not flattering on me. Unless they have some little design quirk, I lose the little shoulder line that I have when I wear them and I always feel underdressed or like something is lacking when wearing them. They always look nice on the hanger in the shop or on the photo on-line, but in real life only a few keep their shape. Don't even get me started about the clinginess and how they ride up and I have to keep pulling them down my back all the time. So stylish and lady-like, right?

So, I'm not excited by them. I don't even know if I ever really was. Yes, they are quick and easy way to add pattern and color, but they never really felt like more than functional piece of wardrobe.

I have a stack of them that went untouched the whole summer - and I'm now MOTG and tend to wear tees under the cardigans as one of the main outfit formulas. Go figure.

I obviously have some favorites that I wear a lot and I'll keep wearing them, along with the others that will slowly find its way out of my wardrobe when suitable replacements are found, but apart from that perfect white tee (which must exist somewhere) made of thick cotton that will never lose its shape I don't see myself buying them any longer.

The fact is, I like structured tops (perfect example is my b&w Mexx top shown in recent WIW).

And, I like collars, I like my neck to be framed and feel supported somehow. That is probably where my obsession with scarves came from - I needed something to add to the tee shirt's plain neckline.

ETA: Actually, even if it is collarless, the top will work for me and I'll feel great in it - if it's woven, like the blouse worn here.

But.

I can't see what it means in terms of style direction and my current realistic needs. In another words, I'm now a bit disorientated and I need your help. I cannot wear the button downs that I do have (cotton, office-friendly) in the situations that require more casual outfits.

What style of top should I be buying now as my basic?
Some guidelines and illustrations would be very, very appreciated.

Thanks for reading

Dressing

27 replies

Latest reply was from Ornella

Mona

Veteran

Ornella, I could not agree with you more. T-shirts never appeal to me but I always thought they act as a great layering piece. I always wore mine with cardigans but still I dont feel fab in them. I prefer woven tops and blouses much more on me. The structured top from Mexx is so elegant.

deb

Veteran

Eddie Bauer favorite tees are the only ones I buy. I get the tall because I do not like the line the regular tees create, no matter what brand. They wash beautifully and keep their shape.

http://www.eddiebauer.com/cata.....etId=43963

Irene

Veteran

I think there are blouses and shirts that can work in a casual & comfy way, I own some myself.

I do wear racer back tees in the summer, but I don't love them and only wear them in extremely casual situations or when there's nothing clean left. In winter I opt for sweaters/jumpers and only wear tees under cardis, and not that much because layering doesn't work for my body and doesn't feel comfy, I much prefer a thicker top in the winter.

Astrid

Veteran

Ornella, I can understand! I also feel much better when I have some structure on top and I lately wore my cropped denim vest over all my tees because I just didn't feel that fab in them on their own anymore (although I still have a few that I like to wear). I still like my longsleeved jersey shirts though, the long sleeves somehow make all the difference. Like you I'm also not quite sure what to replace my tees with. Woven tops or button down shirts are fine in theory, but I have a hard time finding ones that fit into my style and fit me (too wide in the waist, too tight in the hips, too long). Or the color is wrong or I don't like the fabric.

I'll be watching this thread for suggestions!

Anonymous

Ornella, I had just about decided the same thing, but it sure is hard to find what other shirts besides the office-friendly button front to replace them with. I have eschewed them most of the summer because I hate how much they reveal every lump and bump. It seems like the other choice I have (in the thrift stores anyway) are the flow-y and low-cut boho inspired peasant tops, and they don't frame my long neck like a collar or scarf does. Let me know when you figure out what a good T-shirt substitute would be!

Anonymous

I stopped wearing tee shirts long ago for all the reasons you cited. I found some really nice button down sleeveless never-iron blouses at Talbots. The blouses are comfortable during the summer months and look really good for either work or casual. They are the perfect tee shirt substitute for me.

merwoman

Veteran

I've parted with Ts as well - I don't even use them as a layering piece since I've discovered that camis can fill that role even better. This summer I've continued wearing button down shirts with various sleeve lengths - and new for me this year - gauzy type tops, layered with a cami. Sometimes loose, sometimes tucked in, sometimes semi-tuck - really love it.

sarah

Veteran

I very much appreciate what you're going through.

What about blouses and other woven tops - sleeveless in summer, sleeved the rest of the year?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My basic button downs and turtle necks are "my t-shirts". I'll let you ponder that one although I know you are against the idea. Thing is you have them, so you could re-purpose them more casually.

I don't wear tees at all. I sleep in them so I associate them with sleepwear.

I do however think that a great striped t-shirt is killer because it's a true classic.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I understand.

I don't wear many T shirts any more, either. I do have a few long sleeved layering Ts for winter months...but I would always wear with a blazer or dress overtop and probably also a scarf. I also have a few layering tanks. Apart from one or two -- and those ones are not styled like typical classic T shirts -- the short sleeved ones are sleepwear.

This summer, instead...I have worn...woven tops much like your Mexx top (mine are Mexx, too, as a matter of fact). I am not sure this is a complete solution for me. I felt crisp and fresh...but a little...strict. Or something. Perhaps a bit too classic for me. I am not sure.

(However, they beat Ts!)

I also wore some regular button downs, rolling the sleeves up. I had linen, and light cotton ones. I wore these untucked, with bermuda shorts or jeans, or tucked into full skirts. However, in my summer climate, sleeved shirts of any weight can get to feel too warm in high summer. I don't know if this is true for Germany. Summers are HOT and HUMID in southern Ontario.

I have been watching Denise for ideas about what to wear. She has worn a variety of tops, some woven and some knitted, but none perfectly fitted... all a bit loose, yet with structure in the shoulder area somehow. This seems like a good direction to me. I don't own any such tops at the moment, but for next summer I'm going to keep my eye open.

Ornella, nothing says you need to wear T shirts. No reason you should, at all.

Jonesy

Veteran

I don't wear t-shirts much either, except to walk the dog. For summer I have worn lots of shirts that are shaped like a t-shirt, but looser/boxier and woven. They are lightweight and don't cling like a t-shirt does, so they are actually comfier too.

Scarlet

Veteran

I really think button-downs can be worn everywhere. I wear lots of button downs and I am almost exclusively casual. Also it's been a great year for blouses (non-button down woven tops), so there should be lots of options available on that front.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Some great advice here, thank you all.

I'll be back to comment in more detail later, please feel free to add more thoughts

Inge

(website)

In addition to all the great suggestions above, how about:

- A few denim and/or chambray shirts = easy to launder, a less dressy feel, very versatile.
- A boxy linen shirt in a fab colour.
- Or maybe something like this mixed media shirt?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/pl.....tback=6690

If you would still like to wear knit tops, perhaps you could try something with a bit more "hold" and structure, like that beautiful Vince Camuto top, it really does make a difference.
(like Meredith is wearing in this blog post):
http://youlookfab.com/2012/07/.....-ensemble/

ramya

Veteran

Ornella Kurtis are another option if you can find them.Now you can find all silhouttes in kurtis

Posted one of them today in my WIW thread

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

How funny you've posted this, as yesterday I was about to post something similar (but had to log off to do something else). I can't bear the clinginess and the riding up issues with t-shirts - I don't like having to fiddle with and rearrange my clothes. I don't wear button downs due to being busty, broad-shouldered (therefore having fit issues) and not liking the feeling of a collar at my neck (personal pernickitiness).

I love your Mexx top, I think I need to look for things like that. I just bought a loose-ish collarless cotton shirt from H&M to trial how I felt about wearing tops like that - and I like it. Being collarless makes it feel more suitable for my casual lifestyle.

You've had lots of good advice from others - I would just chime in for more drape-y 't-shirt type tops' in viscose type fabric - several steps up from a t-shirt, I think.

April

Veteran

Ornella, do you mean true "tee" shirts or just knit tops in general?

For example, would something like this meet your style goals: http://www.anntaylor.com/ann/p.....Color=1463 ? Seems like it would emphasize the shoulder line and frame the face as well.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I've been on this same style road Ornella! You've already made many of the same discoveries, but a couple of things that have helped me are:

1. Printed (not graphic) tees obscure little "bits," so they aren't as revealing, so I've included these in my hot-midwestern-summer casual capsule. I'm a little more "maximal," so this may be a better fit in my wardrobe than in yours.

2. Short sleeves are a bane of my existence (not yours, however, with your slender limbs). Sleeveless with a wide shoulder and 3/4 length are far better.

3. I'm looking for softer blouses, but looking for a little more romantic, a little less boho.

Now ---- even I don't wear hectic prints all the time. I'm trying to figure out how to bring these ideas into solids!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure I could give up tees completely. Maybe it's the type of tees you are wearing? Are you willing to spend $30 - $50 on more stylish ones?

I love a good slouchy v-neck tee and buy the slub cotton or vintage cotton ones regularly in deep, saturated colors (and overpay for them probably). I don't like "fitted" cotton tees unless I'm feeling at my best body wise. I did buy a few EB 3/4 sleeve tees to wear this fall and winter. They are slightly more fitted than I like but they are heavy enough for cooler weather and replace v-neck sweaters whie are usually too hot for my climate.

I like some henleys and other knits too, but I do agree that woven materials are more flattering in general. And I do like a collar.

I have several very light weight "lawn cotton" button downs that are great options to t-shirts. I also have a couple of light weight silk/cotton blend woven button downs that are lighter than most tees. None of these require ironing to look presentable but I do hang them to dry and sometimes bring out the water spray bottle to "iron" them.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Ornella --

I support anyone giving up anything for whatever reason, and get why Ts are not your thing right now -- but like others wonder why you feel you can't wear your "cotton, office-friendly" button downs casually.

Seems like anything that stained the BD would stain a T, and that accessories and partnering items would keep things casual vs office. Can you elaborate more on your thoughts about them not working?

You're already considering the other ideas I have, sorry!

[I do like my knits, and in cooler weather poly-blend ones in prints (good for camo) are becoming a staple.]

Aziraphale

Veteran

Ornella, I do understand where you're coming from. I like tee shirts myself, but mainly as a base layer for other things. A cardigan just doesn't lay as nicely over a collared shirt, and neither do some of my jackets. And I'm really picky about how the tee shirt fits -- the shape of the neck-hole, if it's fitted, the stretch and feel of the fabric, etc.

Having said that, I wear button-down shirts a lot these days. Could you not use the classic tailored shirt as your "new basic"? I wear mine even in the most casual environments without feeling out of place (I'm a MOTG too) and several of them are true "office wear" tailored shirts. Put a crisp tailored shirt on with some faded jeans and combat boots, and leave it untucked -- perfectly casual!

Joy

Veteran

I only wear tee shirts under a jacket, and knit jackets or jacket-like cardies are pretty casual, as are denim jackets. Yesterday I wore a man's polkadot tieworn loosely knotted and low over a striped tee. Small cotton scarves can work with casual tees too. As a young MOTG, that was my uniform because, like you, I wanted more neck definition. Maybe a casual necklace would help as well.

catgirl

Veteran

I detest t-shirts. They are incredibly hard to find in the right fit and quality for me. I just don't wear them, unless they are uber-casual. But I don't have the kind of weather that requires them either.

No suggestions, just total sympathy!

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

ooof! i've never cared for tees since i was small, i'm 50 now and still don't. you've got loads of great suggestions here, all i can add is just try a few things and see what works best for you. Best of luck - it can be done steph

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Thanks again for your replies and apologies for not being able to get to you with the comments sooner. This will be a XL reply from me, so I'm splitting it in 3 posts...

~ Mona
I too use tees as the layering piece and can see mine (stars only) staying in my wardrobe for that purpose too, especially now with the A/W approaching. But as the piece of clothing worn on its own only, I have completely changed my perspective and am even developing poisoned eye for some.

~ deb
Thanks for the recommendation.

~ Lemonade
I would be very interested to see some examples of such blouses and shirts.

~ Astrid
This is great idea - wearing vest to add that much needed structure to the top part of the outfit. I've always loved my vests, but this might actually be the reason why
I also understand the issues around the fit of those non-tees you're mentioning. And the fact that long sleeved tees feel a bit less like tees because of the sleeves.

~ Claire
I completely understand the challenges of boho and peasant tops, and I am not keen on them either. I surely plan to tackle this challenge in several stages and will hopefully post some examples I already have for the public analysis - hopefully I (we) can nail down what is that top other than tee that can do all or most of the jobs of a tee.

~ Mary
I like the idea of sleeveless tops and would need to spend some time seeing what can be done in that respect. I only have one that could do as my casual top at the moment.

~ merwoman...
Your gauzy type tops sound interesting. Without knowing more about them or seeing them, I'm interested to know what type of neckline they have.

~ sarah...
Sarah, as mentioned to Mary, sleeveless sound like an interesting option to explore.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

~ Angie...
I haven't even mentioned turtlenecks because I don't feel the same about them as I do about tees. I don't wear tissue-weight ones, but only thicker (made of all sorts of fabrics, from viscose to wool). Turtlenecks have - well, turtleneck - which regular tees don't and that makes a world of difference to me.

I also have a few striped tees, which are actually my favorites

Regarding the button-downs, here is my thinking:
- mine are mostly cotton, and except 2 BB non-iron ones they all need ironing. Big issue for me Of course, I am prepared to suffer a bit for style, but only a bit... but time for ironing is something I never look fwd to.
- I find button-downs a bit it restrictive for movement, and since I plan to get a bike soon I also keep that aspect in mind. Maybe it won't be an issue at all, but I have to see.
- Some of my button-downs need cufflinks Not sure how practical those would be - perhaps it's time to start being a bit more creative with them...

So, yes, I'm pondering that one.

~ Suz
This was one of my formulas: tee + dress + scarf. I always need scarf to build that missing support aspect that wowens have. Plus, they keep me warm, of course :-).
I was keeping an eye for nice linen shirts this summer, much like from Angie's July cover, although I wasn't actively searching. They would do the job for me, definitely. If this summer is a good representative of the climate I'll have, then it will be hot and not so humid.
Great point about Denise's tops. I am very drawn to her style, for me her outfits just work, but it never dawned on me that the shoulder line is well defined - I will now pay even more attention.

~ Jonesy
Thanks for chiming in. This sounds good - shaped like tee but woven.

~ Scarlet
Out of the two, I prefer 'officey' button-downs because I know what to look for in them, casual ones are a whole new world to me. I actually had a few cute ones from H&M a while back, but they have found their way out of my wardrobe because they had too short sleeves and small armholes. I'll more than welcome the recommendation for some casual button-downs.

~ Inge
Great points about chambray shirts. I actually have one, I wear it a lot as part of my take on "column of denim" but need to find way and be more creative with it.
I've also been on the lookout for the perfect denim shirt ever since Fernanda series and your fab submission for the blog birthday video.
Also, big YAY for the mixed media shirt and Meredith's top you linked. And yes, I am keeping some knits in my wardrobe for sure, I have a few pieces I really love, and they all have - more hold and structure. This is obviously the realization that will speed up many decision processes in the future.

~ ramya
Thanks for the tip. Kurtis come up on the forum every so often, but I haven't paid much attention as I've associated them with boho... I will check them and your WIW too

~ BL
We seem to need the exact opposite from our ideal tops - you like collarless, I like collars. I think these small realizations are important in helping identify those perfect pieces that work for out lifestyles.
I completely agree about the drapey viscose tops - those are the ones I hang on to and actually still enjoy wearing.

~ April
It's the tee shirts. Too plain and shapeless on me, hence this whole thread.
Nice, quality knit tops like the one you posted do still interest me

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

~ Beth Ann
Spot on! In addition to what i just wrote to BL:
1) Yes, printed tees - made of drapey fabric - are a whole different thing than plain cotton tees. Totally agree about obscuring the bits. This reminds me to post my favorite B&W tee soon.
2) There are short sleeves and short sleeves. I've replied to Scarlet about the button-downs I did have some years back the sleeves were the wrong length (or shortness) - which means that is just one more variable to master before identifying certain stye as my preferred one.
3) Ditto.

~ texstyle
Once I find that perfect white tee, I will pay good money for it because I do believe it will do the work I want it to do - hold shape, not look limp and lifeless, and be thick enough not to cling.
You are right, the type of tees and varying quality all led to various analysis' abut this garment, bottom line being that it's time to explore other options.
Thanks for the recommendations, the blends sound great, I'm not sure I know what "lawn cotton" is, I'll look it up.

~ Vix
As mentioned to Angie, my office gear either requires ironing, or might turn out to be bit movement restrictive and some even need cufflinks - which is cool, but fiddly and not very casual.
I'm not saying I'm against wearing them, after all I will and want to - that I what I own at the moment and want to make work, as I have no interest to replace large chunk of my wardrobe. It's the other options that I'm keen to learn to identify.

Regarding the accessorizing, that's something to think about, can I do like-for-like, probably not, but that adjustment is part of fun....

~ Elisabeth
It took me a long time to identify all those aspects that make up my perfect tee and now I'm steering the ship in another direction
TBH, there were days when I lived in black turtlenecks or white button-downs, jeans/pants and shoes/boots. That's one of the most classic looks in my book ... or safe, or boring, as I used to think when I had no style direction, but opted for the simple pieces as at least those were made long enough to fit me. Time to reprogram such thinking, I see

~ Joy
Scarves and necklaces are in my main accessories precisely because they give that neck definition. (Some warmth too.)
Your outfit sound so fun, I hope we can see it some day.

~ Una
The questions of fit and most of all quality were the very first things that triggered these thoughts. Then the clinginess and having to readjust them all the time. While I may change my mind at some point in the future, at least I've now come to the conclusion what it is that prefer and what makes one thing work for me and the other don't.

~ Steph
Thanks. I made my first step to change my ways