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Dressing

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What's your acorn?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

We quote lines from our favorite episodes of Peep and the Big Wide World often. This one has "It's the least a duck can do" and "You can't; you're a fish!" and "If this is a museum, you've gotta have an acorn". It's a sweet episode with a hidden little lesson on life possibilities (a fish *can* wear sneakers), but there are plenty of museums that don't have acorns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV5KV_5nrsU

I was reminded of this while reading Anchie's recent post, in which she considers that black essentials might not be essential for her anymore...maybe she doesn't need them at all. Cindysmith commiserated, saying "I used to think I had to have certain things, too. Then I realized that I never wore those things. Basic black pencil skirt, trench coat, white button-up shirt, red lipstick, basic black flats... "

That got me thinking if there is anything in my wardrobe that "has to be there" that really doesn't need to be there at all, because I never wear it. I think jeans come closer than anything, even though I wear them occasionally.

What about you? Is there anything you've thought you "had to have" in your closet that actually didn't need to be there at all?

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Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from anne

Liesbeth

Veteran

From time to time I get it into my head that I need a 'crisp white shirt'. From when I was trying to dress business casual to when I was inspired by the minimalists to my current forties tomboy moniker, the white shirt has always had appeal as a staple... but I haven't owned any in a while, because they are so hard to fit. And that's a good thing, because when I did own a white shirt it just went to prove that white so near my face washes me out and that I hate the ironing and the creasing happening after an hour of wear ;p.
Something that IS actually in my closet unworn right now is a pair of cream colored jeans... Feels sacriligeous to say it here but two years ago I got infected by the YLF white jeans vibe and impulse bought a pair. But I'm not good at keeping white white, and hate fearing sitting down on park benches. So I wore that pair maybe three times in two years ...

SarahD8

Veteran

I love this metaphor!

For me it’s probably solid, dark neutral tops. I am more likely to wear dark neutrals on the bottom or as a topper — and thus want to use my top to bring in lightness or color to the outfit. I do wear them occasionally so it’s fine to have one or two in my wardrobe. But I don’t need to just grab them when I see them and accumulate a big collection because they’re “useful.”

unfrumped

Veteran

Not sure I have felt I needed to fulfill any checklist items, but do have FOMO and imaginary lifestyle items.

I really don’t have any need for super dressy and/ or sparkly clothes. But have a slight magpie gene so collected some. I did wear them to gala type events once or twice a year, but if ever again have a chance after pandemic, would be better off either not going- this is a real and practical option for the benefits: burdens, or wearing much less dressy items , which is harder. But for now am keeping what fits— but do not need to replace, I think.

Similarly, dressy or semi dressy pumps. I did order some EF ankle strap low heels to have on hand.

Black blazer- haven’t had for awhile but have a few non- blazer black toppers.

LBD - for years i wanted the perfect LBD, but that is part of the imaginary lifestyle ( even when working) and imaginary footwear options.

Array of clutches- I like the idea , but don’t use them. But would keep most , for possible use for dressier events, where bag and jewelry add the bling rather than trying to maintain unworn clothing capsule.

Non- acorn— for me, black pants are still useful, though now can whittle down to few best styles and fabrics.

Leather jackets are probable. Especially “ “ black moto jacket“ , which I did figure out and didn’t buy. But have 2 non- black, non- moto leather jackets that are lovely but I seldom wear- it seems
I prefer fabrics.

rachylou

Veteran

A blue blazer and a chicken-dinner outfit - in this case, a purple topper+dress in one.

nuancedream

Veteran

I always thought I needed a white button down shirt, black blazer, and an LBD. I blindly bought into the "10 essential wardrobe items all women should have" mindset that used to be so pervasive. Solid optic white and black near my face makes me look ghastly. I never feel great wearing an LBD because I simply prefer wearing dresses with color.

Bonnie

Veteran

Loafers - I have two pair and never wear them.

PIKOLINOS PIKOLINOS Pyrgos Oxford (Women) | Nordstrom

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Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Bonnie, wow, the archetype you are going for is very clear!

Nuancedream, I’m so glad you gave that up—colorful dresses are great for you! I wasn’t thinking of those lists of “must haves” when I wrote this, but you’re exactly right that’s what it is.

RL, chicken dinners aren’t your style? I know blue blazers aren’t!

Unfrumped, I hear you on wannabe/wish it was my lifestyle pieces.

Liesbeth, yes! That’s exactly the kind of thing I was thinking of. How could we possibly not “need” plain white shirts? Amazing what we learn about ourselves, isn’t it?

Sarah, I think we’ve seen some of those on the forum, yes? I’ve fallen into the trap of unused “useful” things too.

This is fun. Thank you all for playing

Kate

Veteran

Dresses in general. They are the least worn items in my wardrobe. My lifestyle is casual, and getting more so with the pandemic. I removed about half a dozen from my closet about 6 weeks ago, and felt nothing but relief. A couple will be sold, the others donated. I’m eyeing a couple more to add to the six.

In the past, I have worn dresses in the summer, but not this summer. I finally found shorts I really like (Athleta’s Trekkie bermudas 2.0), and invested in the RipSkirts that Janet introduced us to, as well as Athleta’s Flounce skirt. The skirts are the most worn item in my closet this summer. Technical fabrics have become my new friend this year.

I doubt I’ll ever go back to dresses.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

I am with ND - no LBDs and very little black for me, either. Too high contrast- I steer clear of high contrast outfits in general, especially as I get older. Probably a combination of feeling like it’s even more harsh and being more confident of what works for me.
Have also given up on footwear that I can’t walk two miles in, and skirts and dresses that are shorter than midi-length.
Clutches or bags without a shoulder strap - hard pass.
Short outerwear jackets.
Knee boots.
If I have current acorns in my closet, I’m not aware of them right now, but I’ve really whittled it down in recent years.

rachylou

Veteran

Man, as soon as I got the outfit, the chicken dinner obligations stopped. Cousins went private sector. Well, sort of... so I keep hanging on to it...

Gigi

Veteran

A pair of classic black pumps. I figured that if I ever needed to go to something serious (a funeral, a job interview), I had better have serious footwear too. I had two pairs of black pumps (one was a pair of slingbacks), and I hardly wore either pair because they were so boring. I finally realized that it honestly would be OK if I wore one of my other, more loved, pairs of black shoes to such an event. I really won't look out of place.

I also had a pair of nude pumps, same style as the black ones. I hated those too. At least I was able to sell them on consignment.

Bijou

Veteran

Track pants. Even with the pandemic I am wearing dresses, trousers, jeans and skirts at home. I have pajamas that I change into as loungewear and so these track pants that I bought a few years ago are rarely worn.

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nemosmom

Veteran

What Nuancedream said! Those lists of pieces every woman must own were SO wrong for me! I had a closet full when I had an office job, and I still hold on to a few pieces in case I need a conservative/dressy outfit, but my lifestyle (and style preferences) currently don't require me to replace any of it.

Helena

Veteran

A black pencil skirt for me ... I have one that I keep "just in case" but I've worn it maybe twice in years (and only because I pushed myself to do so!)

always trying

Veteran

neutral flats, beige, black, etc. Have 4 pair. almost never wear them. When I need footwear other than sneakers, hikers, sandals, etc. I almost always wear booties, or shoes with like a 2 inch heel.

Kathie

Veteran

Same as Gigi- black pumps. I did have a pair, that I wore enough over 5+ years to justify having bought them, and was even considering replacing them. And then realized that my nude slingbacks, red pumps, or black booties would serve perfectly well, and even be more interesting, flattering, or practical than black pumps. It’s been three years, and I’m still glad I didn’t replace them.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Gigi, always trying and Kathie, yes, “sensible shoes” even have a name to try to guilt us into thinking we need them. But we don’t!

Bijou, trying to keep up always has that danger, doesn’t it? It can be so easy to convince ourselves that whatever it is is so “us”, or could be, or to get that FOMO that unfrumped mentioned.

Toronto, ohh, a black pencil skirt is a good one—a “classic” that I bet very few of us would wear.

Preppy pear, how much pressure to own that stuff do you feel??

Nemo, you have made an amazingly huge shift—real work figuring out what your actual “must haves” are.

Kate, wow, a whole category! But there’s no reason you need to have dresses if they don’t work for you. Well done!

cindysmith

Veteran

Beyond the previously mentioned black pencil skirt, button-up shirt, and etcetera, I would say cardigans and cashmere pullover sweaters.

Cardigans are just not my thing. I have one very lightweight AG linen and silk one that I wear occasionally. I also a Nicholas K swacket that gets worn frequently during cold weather, but only when I'm not DOING anything; I'll wear it lounging, or out running errands, but never to cook or clean or work, because it's a creamy winter white and I cannot keep whites white to save my life.

Cashmere pullovers don't get worn a lot because I destroy clothes at a frightening rate. My lifestyle is uber casual, my job is extremely dirty (and involves lots of things that snag/rip/tear garments). I also have trouble finding cashmere that doesn't pill. I've even tried vintage Pringle & Pringle cashmere and it freaking pilled.

I also just remembered that basic tshirts are another acorn of sorts for me. I wear them to work now that I'm back at the produce stand, because they're cheap and I don't care if they get destroyed, but wearing tshirts outside of work? As Arya Stark once told her father, "That's not me." They kind of bore me. I have a few cutesy tees: one from splendid with a cute multicolored band at the neck; one from costco that says hello in multiple languages; an oversized black cropped tee from Barbara I Gongini; and my Agatha Ruiz de la Prada tunic tee with smiley faces all over it. They don't get worn frequently, but when I do wear them, I love them so much. I'd probably wear them more often if we didn't have such stupid weather here in Texas; it's cold for about 60 days, then it skyrockets to "why can't I go nekkid?" temperatures that make even a loosely woven linen tank top feel like too much fabric on my body. My non-work tees are a prime example of my wardrobe schizophrenia because they are all over the map aesthetically LOL

My last acorn: polyester. All these stylists and brands declare it to be easy care because it doesn't wrinkle. Traveler fabrics, moisture wicking technical fabrics, easy care knits... it's all lies. First off, let's revisit texas weather, which is blazing hot for 9 months out of 12. Polyester in Texas heat is just being rude to my body and I positively suffocate in it, to the point of flaring my COPD so that I'm literally suffocating. And contrary to popularly held belief, polyester DOES wrinkle and it is an absolute nightmare to get those wrinkles out. I have a few pairs of polyester pants, but most of them are off to the side in a holding pattern (like planes stacked over a busy airport), and most of them will likely get donated because ugh they're suffocating in heat and they're freezing in cold. I can't even stand polyester in workout gear, but until I clean up some of my financial mess, I am not going on etsy or anywhere else to order some made from natural fibers so I'll cope for now.

I didn't mean to write a novel, but thanks for the opportunity to do some introspection about what does and doesn't work for me! Cleaning up my financial mess is making me want to avoid repeating the same mistakes, so it's good to look at what I DON'T wear to avoid wasting more money in the future.

LeandraofBleuAvenue

(website)

For me it's jeans. I used to wear them exclusively, but now I just don't find them comfortable anymore. I prefer nice trousers for work or loose fitting cotton or linen pants for around the house. I have kept a couple of pairs of jeans but I use them mostly for chores where I know I'll get dirty.

DonnaF

Veteran

Pullover sweaters. I'm not fond of pulling stuff over my head and smearing makeup/whatever on it and taking off my glasses or (more likely) keeping them on and messing them up.

Cashmere sweaters. Moths and other munching critters seek them out in my home.

I will keep my Halogen black pencil skirt that I gave to DD after it got too big for me. She never wore it, and it is now back with me but a bit snug. I go to a lot of memorial services, but it has been sitting in my closet since she returned it.

Dark wash classic blue jeans. I wear printed jeans and other colors a whole lot more. I must admit I had a pair of dark baby bootcuts in my Nordie NAS wish list until I got real with myself.

I have a crisp white shirt that I love but don't wear often because part of me wants to *save* it because it was so hard to find so I wear my other white shirts.

Anonymous

Most of the "must have lists" would qualify as acorns: white button ups, jeans and denim in general, ballet flats, plain white and black t shirts. And despite being "the shoe of our fashion era" - sneakers for anything besides fitness.
Eta- lbd's and black pencil skirts (in stretchy tube form) are absolutely essential for me

Cardiff girl

Veteran

This is a very good question.l did have a pleather moto jacket back in the day when you were no one style wise if you didn’t have one(at least according to the internet!)but I never wore it so gave it away.l think that was a lesson in wearing what suits you not in chasing the trends no matter how hard they are pushed.l still don’t have a little black dress either or a classic trench both of which are regularly deemed “essential”

anne

Veteran

Hmm, no not really. I do have the odd item that doesn't get as much wear as I had hoped it would, but none of them are from "must have" item lists.