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Your style "evolution"

NancyT

I think that's the right term for the question I want to ask.

How many of you ladies have actually determined what your style is, what fits perfectly, and what look you want to portray?

What I mean is, I have always loved the French fashion style i.e. Emmanuelle Alt, Ines de la Fressange) but I have no where near achieved a look that could resemble one or the other....does this take years of practice and a lot of fashion mistakes (and $$$) to get to where you want to be?

The other thing is, I do not resemble either of these women in body shape...I am an hourglass..am I trying to achieve the impossible?

I'm also 47...I figure I should have made some progress by now!

Your thoughts?

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I have decided what my style is, and where I want it to head. But . . . . I am still pretty far from my aspiration in my day to day look. 3 things come to me as to why:

budget - the more adult rock n roll look does not come cheap, if or when you can find it.
lifestyle - I'm on a bike or foot, and in hot sticky weather. Can't do many looks I'd like within those constraints.
availability - I'm having a hard time finding things appropriate for a 44 yr old who wants to embody this look. Many items are geared younger. But I'm not a mom, I'm not a suburbanite, I'm not that lady. Yet I can't seem to find things to express who I am at my age. Harumph! lol

Astrid

Veteran

I think I have a much better grip now on what my style is and what looks I like on myself. When I started here I felt totally clueless about everything, now I feel like I could do a good job to get to that look I want if I had the money to spend. This is definitely my biggest issue, I feel like I can just reach an approximation because I have to use what I already have and keep an eye on the budget. That said, I (hopefully) have the next big hurdle coming up in the next few years - dressing for interviews and jobs... I have a very casual student look right now, I definitely feel like this look will need some growing up. Although there's probably no need for super dressy in my field, so that's a good thing.

Susie

Veteran

I found it easier to determine what I don't like to wear- ie girly or cute looks, fussy clothes, ALGO, pastels etc. Then I focused on 2 or 3 silhouettes that work for me, like tunic tops and slim leg pants and pants with a layering tee and topper for instance. Sticking to a limited color palette also helps to develop a cohesive overall look.

One thing that has evolved for me is fit. I definitely embraced the more fluid, slouchy fits. I've become even more minimal in my styles, preferring pieces that are interestng enough that I can wear just a top (usually a sweater or knit) and a bottom, usually pants with an occasional skirt.

And I love shoes and bags and use them to add interest to or complete an outfit.

shedev

Veteran

I don't think that you need to be a certain body type to have a French chic persona. There will be versions that are cut for the body you have. start with the thing that makes you feel most in your element. I'll admit that I don't know a whole lot about Emmanuelle Alt, but from the pictures I've seen, she wears a lot of minimal pieces in neutrals, but the fit is spot on. I'd also pay attention to what other forum members with your style are wearing. I saw a lot of my favorite things here first.

As for evolution, I think we will always do that a little even within our personas. I'm drawn to avant garde in a way that I wasn't last year. I'm not thinking about a complete overhaul, but I want to add a little in to compliment the more classic pieces I have.

Sal

Veteran

I think I know what you mean Nancy - I feel very similar! I think you have to view it as an evolution though - I still wear things in my closet that are not quite my style now, but I have lingering fondness for, or due to budget or environmental reasons I am not yet ready to get rid of. I should clarify, these are pieces I like, that are a good shape on me, but perhaps not what I would buy if shopping today. I try not to get into the buy purge cycle so think very cautiously about buying anything new.

As an hourglass some of those cool/classic/simple/undone looks can look awesome on- great straight jeans with a blazer and heels for example, or a tailored shirt with a button or two undone with a pencil skirt. I wear black skinny jeans and very low heel ankle boots with a coat or parka and feel it is flattering (enough)..

Whilst volume is on trend I do have to be careful with it as my surrendering my waist my shape can just look bulky....

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Great question!

Most of us come here precisely for the reason you allude to -- we want to define our style. Many have undergone a big transition -- weight loss or gain, new baby, empty nest, new job, move to another part of the world, or any number of things. And one day we wake up, look into our closets and say "EEEEP!!!!"

I have been here for a little over three years. And my style is still evolving. It always will be. Work in progress!

Having said that -- when I came, I literally had no wardrobe. (Weight loss meant I had almost nothing that fit.)

And while I thought I knew what I aspired to...I didn't, really. I needed a long period of thinking, reading, looking, trying on --- before I worked out what my style is and where I want it to go.

I do think I know what my style is (Angie helped enormously with this!) and I know it is still developing (and I am in my 50s).

And in answer to your other question? An hourglass can wear a chic French style (if that is truly what she wants). But interpreted for her own body shape, not Ines's slim rectangular shape. First step: Check the body type recommendations on the blog, and (if not already done) get new undergarments and haircut!

DonnaF

Veteran

Well, Nancy, I did not even start to think about *Style* until I was 58 or 59, so you are more than a decade ahead of me!!! My impetus was that DD was leaving for college out of state, so I did not need to worry about embarrassing her in front of her friends or the other parents AND I was on my own in terms of choosing items.

In this three year journey, I have loosely defined my style ("fun, arty, urban prince"), realized that my outfit has to reflect only one or two of these aspects, and still feel that I don't always hit the mark. I also figured out that I define *fun* pretty broadly, maybe too broadly for my own good. OTOH, I think I've always been pretty good about rejecting items that don't fit, but getting proportions right is much trickier.

My biggest area of progress is that I do not *save* 95% of my clothes; I actually WEAR them! My second area of progress is that due to YLF, I am more willing to try new silhouettes and styles. Note I wrote *try*; it doesn't necessarily mean *buy*, at least not the first ten I've tried.

I find one of biggest challenges on YLF and the Nordstrom web site for that matter, is admiring how something looks on someone else, loving their style, and forgetting that it wouldn't look good on me due to body differences and/or is inappropriate for my lifestyle, climate, budget, or other reasons.

Karina

My aspirational style is very similar to yours. What seems to be helping me make the most progress is hunting high and low for perfectly fitting basics. I have finally found the right fit for denim (lucky brand Sophia cut, which has a higher rise in the back to accommodate my curvy rear but not have that awful waist gap). I now have this cut in several silhouettes and colors and feel fab every time I wear them. Everlane v-neck or Gap essential tees. Pencil skirts look great on me, but I often have to size up and take in at the waist to achieve a sleek look. All this to say, I think this look is more about finding pieces that fit your body shape well and then duplicating that silhouette with some variety. Being willing to spend the upfront shopping time and finding a tailor or learning how to make simple alterations have been keys for me. I feel like I'm finally getting traction. Hopefully this is helpful!

Deborah

Veteran

Here is my theory!! I suspect we all actually know deep down what our true style is but it still a journey to get there. I feel very certain of my style, how I want my garments to fit and what look I want to portray. I actually always have known what I like and black has been the mainstay of my wardrobe since I was a young adult, but I have allowed myself at various times to be swayed by 1. what I thought others expected, 2. current trends, 3. my workplacee and 4. a desire to 'fit in'. As I have gotten older (49) these factors are no longer very important to me. Angie and the YLF ladies have also been very instrumental in encouring me to simply be 'me'. As you have Emmauelle and Ines as style icons, I also have a couple of style icons. My body is not like theirs either but, the goal is to make the generic style I love and relate to, all mine. I embrace the aesthetic, but then the application of it is where I make it mine. Does that make sense?

Just editing to add that yes many mistakes have been made:) And recently. It can take me time to sit with an item to really assess how it will work in with my wardrobe and my overall style persona. There are many things I LIKE but are just not really me. I have had to train myself not to buy something just because I like it lol

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Suz suggested something that I think is key. Style is the interplay of clothes with your own very individual self - which includes your movement, shape, face, personality, etc. So you can't literally copy style but it can try to capture the something about your icon's interplay with her clothes - what is she using them to enhance, what mood is she projecting, why something works on her and how you can apply that to yourself and so on. Which (as may have noticed) doesn't negate the joy of lemming in my book!

deb

Veteran

I think part of every style journey is accepting the body you have now and embracing it. Then work towards the vision you have in your head. I stumbled on every one of these goals and am still learning. In fact, I do not want to stop learning because in my mind that means I have given up.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I have made a lot of style "mistakes" and I'm still learning from ones that I have made recently.

In terms of your question as to $$ ... uh, yeah; I've probably replaced all my clothes about 3x. It's kinda nuts. But I just chalk it up to a hobby expenditure and tap into my work fund as well.

I strongly feel that the "life phase" thing is why a lot of us turn and reflect on ourselves - for me, I found YLF when I started to work at the hospital and found everyone else had a personal style and looked really nice and I looked like a schlep.

I always have the "French Look" in the back of my mind, but I'm pretty sure that is something I will draw inspiration from ... no one is gonna think I come from France anytime soon

Alana in Canada

(website)

Veteran

I am here because I certainly had that "eeek" moment when I looked in my closet, but I have been out of touch with both fashion and my inner fashionista for so long, that I have no idea to what "style" or "look" I should aspire. The only word I have at the moment is "polished" -- so no ripped jeans and no peasant shaped blouses. But after that?
Wonderful to read and share in your style stories.

Gigi

Veteran

Oooh, the French style! I have admired it myself. I haven't yet tried to experiment with it, though. It's on my list of things to do.

Regarding your experimentation with French style, maybe you would like to start a thread specific to that. Maybe you could post some of your favorite pics of the designers you mentioned, plus a pic of yourself. Then maybe some of the forum members could offer advice on how you can duplicate the look or even have recommendations of what particular clothing items to buy.

I am still trying to figure out my style. I do think that it takes time, a lot of patience, a lot of mistakes, and a decent amount of money. The money, IMO, is dependent on what type of style you have and what your size is (e.g., if you are hard to fit, you may have to spend a lot of money on tailoring or shop higher-end stores with extended sizes).

I've been working on my style for a little over a year and am just now finding some key elements that appear to be pretty stable. Part of my "problem" (if you want to call it that) is that I think I am somewhat eclectic and therefore have a variety of styles, not just one. So it takes a little extra figuring out.

I personally think that "finding your style" isn't something that a person can just do. I think that as you try things on and experiment, you do not simply "find" your style, but you *develop* your style. I think that our style actually changes as we try new things.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gigi, I really like the way you put that. It's much more accurate. We develop our style or create our style -- we don't discover it in the cabbage patch (or, more likely, in the back of our closet....).

Imagine the scene: "Oh no! Don't throw that purge/ donate bag out!! I just realized that my STYLE is in there!!!"

Gigi

Veteran

Ha ha, Suz! I'm envisioning myself out in the cabbage patch...

When I first started trying to "discover" my style, I literally thought that was what I would be doing: trying things on until I found what seemed like "me," and that would be that. Well, I discovered (as probably many of us do) that after I found stuff that I loved and that made me feel fab, after about a month I found it wasn't doing it for me anymore. I was now attracted to something different! So I would buy the new style of clothing that I was attracted to, and the same thing would happen: I would be happy for about a month or two, and then I would feel bored and be drooling over something completely different.

I was quite nonplussed at this, because I knew I hadn't been mistaken when I made my clothing choices. It finally dawned on me that *I* was changing as I wore the clothing, and that my new style choices were the result of a new me. This had the beneficial side effect of helping me accept my so-called mistakes in purchasing, because they weren't really mistakes but an essential part of the learning process. Without the "mistakes," I couldn't have gotten to the point where I am now.

Alana in Canada

(website)

Veteran

Gigi--what you just said should be bolded, highlighted and sent to every new member of the YLF forum. I am so glad for your perspective. The money I spend on the clothes I love (and then don't love) are just a part of the cost of my education. There we go. Whew.

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

The most significant part of my style evolution has been recognizing the difference between loving an outfit or piece, and wanting that piece to be part of my style. I have a few items with retro patterns in purple that are becoming, and yet, I still gravitate toward solids. Maybe it's the student lifestyle, or the constant traveling, but I only want to see pattern in my accessories or shoes. And the money things, ugh. Better spent on clothes than the other options so frequently found in student ghettos.

Gigi

Veteran

Nancy...so glad I could help! We all have problems with blaming ourselves for purchases that didn't stand the test of time. I still get upset with myself, but I really do think that everything is a stepping stone, whether it has longevity in your closet or not.

NancyT

So much great information from you ladies! I thank you for taking the time to contribute. I think I'll have to re-read all the responses.

Gigi, I think you and i are in the same boat! One of my problems is I like too many different styles - so I tend to dither around, change my mind, and never seem to purchase anything - and then go back to what I was wearing before. I do love your suggestion of starting a thread about styles and trying to duplicate them....maybe i'll do that!

I just came back from Winners and took the time to purchase some skinnies a la Emmanuelle Alt....I'll let you know the verdict or may post here...when I get a good picture and am feeling brave.

Thank you, Deb, I am working on accepting my shape..i think that is one of my major obstacles. Why is it we never want what we've got!

Karina, I really like your advice about finding basics from a certain brand..this is a great suggestion.

I have much work to do

Gigi

Veteran

Oops, sorry, I see I wrote "Alana" instead of "Nancy" in my response! (I had just finished composing a reply on Alana's thread.) I've fixed it now. Argh.

Maybe you'd like to start with just one style and see where it goes, then try another. My concern about trying to indulge all your styles at once is that it will be difficult to put together outfits that are cohesive. Yes, styles can be combined, but it usually takes quite a bit of time to figure out how to do it well. I have only started to do it after over a year. So there's no rush.

So glad you picked up the skinnies! They sound great. We'd love to see a pic.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I love Gigi's replys. Without "mistakes" there is no learning.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

"It finally dawned on me that *I* was changing as I wore the clothing, and that my new style choices were the result of a new me. This had the beneficial side effect of helping me accept my so-called mistakes in purchasing, because they weren't really mistakes but an essential part of the learning process. Without the "mistakes," I couldn't have gotten to the point where I am now."

Gigi, this is pure gold. I just love it!! I wish I'd had this in my first year on YLF. I was so ashamed and embarrassed about my purchasing mistakes, even though some of them were not even remotely expensive, since at the time I was shopping mostly thrift and consignment, and I had even told myself that the first year would be an experiment. STILL I felt guilty for spending "good money" and wearing something only a few times only to pass it along. Such waste!!

I'm glad to say I have finally reached a more comfortable place. I expect to have many items in the closet that will last a year or two -- now I can more easily predict what those ones will be, and spend less accordingly. Meanwhile, I can also predict my workhorses with a bit more precision. Not always -- there are always dark horse workhorses. But I'm getting better at it. And, as you say, it's a constant process of evolution anyway.