You know you are an hourglass when... - YouLookFab Forum

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You know you are an hourglass when...

Irene

Veteran

Hah! Thought hourglasses deserved some fun (and some ranting) too!

You know you are an hourglass when you feel at a risk of becoming captured by skirts, shirts and dresses. I've found myself stuck in both tops and bottoms too many times. And dresses won't go either up or down, but will circle freely around your waist.

Most garments gap around your waist, unless they are clingy, in which case you become the new Pamela Anderson, but yours are real.

You can look effortlessly sexy in a fitted cotton t-shirt and a pair of jeans. That's useful for the occasional night out, and a problem in every other situation.

Everybody thinks you have 'the perfect proportions' and that you must be so easy to dress. They don't know you have problems finding both fitting tops AND bottoms, because you have curves all over. When you look good, people assume it's thanks to your 'great proportions'. It's not thanks to your patience and perseverance. You make the effort and your bodyshape takes the credit.

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39 replies

Latest reply was from TraceyLiz65

Parsley

Veteran

All I can say is, "I wish!"

Diana

Veteran

(I'm not really an hourglass but sometimes I pretend to be one, hope I can still play!)

...when every belt you put on that's not tethered in place by belt loops ends up at your natural waist within 10 minutes.

peacechick

Veteran

Everything is bombshell and when you de-bombshell you look lumpy.

You put on weight evenly all over your body, including your face, which means "Hi, double chins!" even when your figure still looks fine.

If you put on enough weight, you need to dress like a rectangle because your hourglass wardrobe doesn't work anymore. Then if you lose weight, it looks wrong.

You wish you had your own tailor for perfectly fitting clothes instead of living in knits.

And yes on the weird compliments and envy from other women... I would trade for a gamine figure anytime, but I gotta work with what I have.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

It took you years to figure out that dressing to hide your tummy meant you were obscuring your waist and looking like spongebob in the process.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Most of your wardrobe has at least some small degree of stretch to accommodate the hips and boobs while still having a hope of showing you have a waist.

You make friends with a tailor because most things need to be taken in at the waist.

Shift and sack dresses send you fleeing in fear.

Irene, yes to the fitted cotton tee and jeans! There's a reason this was my uniform for so long.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Your "tiny middle" means that you have to shop in the Kid's section for belts with holes that actually are small enough.

(I totally relate to being trapped in clothes that rotate around your middle!!! Happens to me far more often than I care to admit)

Von

Veteran

You know you're an hourglass when you have perfected your method of escaping from stuck on clothes in the dressing room without help. Shirts and dresses will always go on, it's only when you pull them down that you realize they may not come off! If you've ever had to sit down and give yourself the "ok, let's not panic" talk in the dressing room, you know what I'm talking about!

Liz A.

Veteran

"Everything is bombshell and when you de-bombshell you look lumpy" Lol so with you!

When you've pretty much given up on sheath dresses...

When you buy everything to fit your shoulders/chest, and then just hope for the best with the waist...

Elly

Veteran

I have a 13" or more difference between bust/hips and waist. Nothing fits off the rack. I look big all over all the time unless I tailor the heck out of things. It is very possible to be an hourglass and still have a tummy (esp. lower tummy) and saddlebags to hide while still trying to find a way to show off a waist without looking big all over. I work in a field where "sexy" is inappropriate but our workplace is casual. It creates a conundrum with the whole jeans and a top thing. I always loved v-necks and now don't wear them because it is very hard to avoid flashing cleavage. I love the slouchy and tomboy looks that are popular but can't figure out how to wear them without looking big all over (I'm a fairly large-framed person). Plus, looser blouses and shirts often slide around on me and end up exposing things.

I often get asked if I am a mother (since age 16 or so) or get propositioned depending on how I am dressed.

Oh, and despite being an hourglass proportionally, I also have a lot of IT problems because of my broad shoulders and long arms!

Gaylene

Veteran

These threads are funny, but really informative. For the first time, I'm understanding why my hourglass-shaped sister isn't always eager to wear fitted clothing. To my IT eye, her small waist and shapely proportions are exactly what I aspire towards, but I'm starting to understand how easy it is for her to project a bombshell vibe even in situations where it might not be very comfortable.

lyn67

Veteran

OMG, You girls are so hillarious! I used to be a pretty moderate hourglass in my youth, and pretend am still one (a grown up girl has to have confidence, isn't it?) but with broad shoulders, apple tendencies and a flat rear sice:-)

Can it be worse than that???:-)))

I can so relate with so many of you, esp. peaceschick's statements-but I love seath dresses for a matter... LOL again, I share all your mares, Von's too:-))

carter

Veteran

You know you're an hourglass if you have all the top half issues of an IT AND all the bottom half issues of a pretty pear.

Aubergine

Veteran

. . . . When you can't read advice about office-appropriate fashion that starts with "Just tuck a classic button-down into a pencil skirt" without hysterical laughter.

I think I'm more of a pear with a big bust than an actual hourglass, but can relate to a lot of these. In particular, I hate having to work really, really hard just to find a middle ground between bombshell (or, worse, looking like I'm trying for bombshell but just succeeding in looking tacky) and shapeless lumpiness.

lyn67

Veteran

Bruhaha, Carter(and Aubergine), really, my familly doesn't understand why am LOsoL for minutes, now!!!
:-))) OMG!!!:-))) It's better than a stand up comedy+ Thanks for the good laughters fellow hourglasses!:-))

Sage

Finally fellow dressers who know the feeling! I've had the best time reading all responses in this thread, especially:

Irene: "Everybody thinks you have 'the perfect proportions' and that you must be so easy to dress. They don't know you have problems finding both fitting tops AND bottoms, because you have curves all over. "

Peacechick: "You wish you had your own tailor for perfectly fitting clothes instead of living in knits."

Aubergine:
"I hate having to work really, really hard just to find a middle ground between bombshell (or, worse, looking like I'm trying for bombshell but just succeeding in looking tacky) and shapeless lumpiness."

Every fashion advice and any benevolent friend tells you that you can pull off anything, while off the rack clothing just turns you either into frumpy-lumpy or bombshell.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Oh man, I'm probably a bit more of a pear, but so many times I've gotten almost stuck in dresses in fitting rooms. "Maybe if I tug it over my head...Nope, OK, if I suck everything in will it go over my hips..."

I love it when you look down and realize that your skirt has flipped halfway around the circumference of your body and the back zipper is nearly at your belly button. :/

dustt

Veteran

you know you're an hourglass when....the IT's(that's me) are lurking with longing for a waistline... any waistline

Von

Veteran

Laura, The dressing room trick involves getting the garment at least over the big part of your busy, raising both arms straight up (squeeze in those shoulders!) bend in half and while bending arms only at the elbows, grab what pieces you can of the garment and carefully drag it down towards the floor.

It ain't pretty, but I've stopped my seam popping ways! Speaking of seam poppers...raise your hand if you know the sound of an hourglass getting into a rectangle :).

jayne

Veteran

when the good ol classic, the button down shirt, is the hardest piece to find. Fits your bust/shoulders, won't button properly without gapping, is too short at the waist (won't stay tucked) because it has to fit the top half and the material can only stretch so many ways,

Jeanie

Veteran

You have tried everything imaginable to get a button up blouse not to gape.

You buy the most conservative straight lined dress you can find only to realize straight lines only seem to emphasize curvy parts popping out everywhere.

Know that jeans are never going to fit in the waist.

KeepTheKey

(website)

I can't really add much, other than a hearty "I concur!".

rae

(website)

Veteran

... banded hem tops and bomber jackets always ride up into a big, inner-tube-ish lump around your middle.

... your DH refers to any garment without a tailored middle as maternity wear.

... your first aim at the relaxed "boyfriend" fit just made you feel like a doughy cross-dresser.

... you start to admire your husband's slim, boyish hips and think how much harder he could rock the new skinny jeans you've been eyeing...

Jeanie

Veteran

Rae, you crack me up! And how could I forget about the maternity wear. How I would love to wear a poet's blouse w/o everyone asking when I was due.

Ariadne

Veteran

Too tired to.craft my own quips, but "yeah, that" to this entire thread, esp. What rae said about bombers and banded tops!

Anonymous

You know you're an hourglass when you wear the same size top and bottom, and the following 2 things also apply:

You buy a top to fit your bust and it's too big in the waist.

You buy a pair of pants to fit your hips and they're too big in the waist

ramya

Veteran

You know you are an Hourglass when you keep nodding at each of the comment above

Man!!!! You guys rock

Oh Rae you must have been in my head

Von

Veteran

When the terms "relaxed boyfriend, sexy boyfriend and skinny boyfriend' all invoke bad dressing room memories, and you've decided to stay single!

Emily

Veteran

lol @ Rae - "... your DH refers to any garment without a tailored middle as maternity wear."

Here's what I'd add:
A bra meant to enhance rather than actively restrain your décolletage can pretty quickly turn a G rated outfit 14A.

Laurinda

Veteran

You buy "Tall" tops even if you are petite in height so they have enough fabric to stay tucked in front.

You know you can live a full and rich life WITHOUT a single buttoned woven blouse in your wardrobe.

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