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YLF is making me nosy

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I work from home, and live far away from most good shopping. So I'm a major online shopper, and in fact I find it better to have the item home and try it on with stuff in my closet.

The last few times I've gone out shopping IRL (like 2 times this summer) I find myself looking to see what everyone else is trying on, and mostly biting my tongue from offering unsolicited opinions.. When I was at the Tahari outlet store in Merrimack the other day, I told the manager to make one of the customers try on a jacket that she and her excellent shopalong husband had overlooked, and the manager gave me this look like 'why would I suggest particular pieces to anyone?' So if anyone is out on Newbury Street in Boston on Saturday and a nosy 'little white lady,' as my daughter calls me, butts in to their shopping, you'll know who it is!

Shopping

27 replies

Latest reply was from celia

donnat

Veteran

Hahaha! Nosey little white lady. I have been known to do that too, only I will jump right in and suggest. My daughter was sometimes very embarrased.

Susie

Veteran

Yes! And I often find myself wanting to suggest sizing up!

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

This is a clear contender for thread of the week. if you're ever in Toronto and see a busty blind chick (Tm) deliberating over clothes, please dive right in!

Jeweled

Veteran

LOL! I was a nosy little white lady today, too, UmmLila! My mom and I were in Kohls, and the lady in line behind us at the checkout was carrying two pairs of elegant black flip-flops - but couldn't decide which pair to get. She was shopping alone and didn't have anyone to discuss them with. I asked her to model both of them, and one pair was hands-down better on her than the other. She said that pair was actually more comfortable too. I was happy that my nosiness helped her make a good footwear choice!

And I also appreciate any nosy little ladies who share their opinions on things I should or shouldn't try on in the store.

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

You are so funny and I WISH I could go shopping with you. Yes, I've been on Newbury St., but it's been a while.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Ha. I've told the story here of how I made a comment on someone else's jeans they were trying on, and they were NYDJ, but she didn't know the brand name, so she thought I was commenting that they looked like she was wearing *her* daughter's jeans... We finally got it cleared up, I thought, but for a second I did wonder why I even opened my mouth...

I will carefully look over people I see out and about who are really put together or whose clothes are really nice. I try to be subtle about it but a few times I have caught people noticing. I want to tell them it's not that I'm rude, it's that I think they look really good, but usually it'd be too awkward.

shannon

Brand new here but this post caught my eye. I do this all...the....time in shops. ONLY if the person looks unsure, though. And I make sure to be constructive and specific.

I did have somewhat the opposite experience when going into an office building last winter. I was wearing a black Theory wool dress (very chic, at least to me) and black boots with a bit of hardware on the shaft. A youngish woman riding along me in the elevator took one look and said, "Wow, I'd never have the confidence to wear that." At first, I took it as somewhat of a compliment but later, I thought, "Was she insulting me?"

Anonymous

I do the same thing. I can't help myself - I stare at people in stores and usually have something to say. So embarrassing for DD.

deb

Veteran

I always start conversations in the dressing rooms. Usually it starts by my asking someone for their opinion on what I am trying on, then I butt in with my opinion about their tryon. I meet some very nice people that way.

Anonymous

I wish I could encounter one of you guys in a store! I would love it and would completely appreciate your feedback. I'm usually too shy to initiate...

shannon.stl: no. I'd say it was a compliment. She wouldn't have said anything had she thought you looked silly.

Sal

Veteran

Haha hilarious!

I normally will comment if I like it; if not I will catch their eye and maybe give an opinion, reading the situation.

Windchime

Veteran

I think stores should provide an area where customers can go to give and receive advice on items they try on. It would have excellent lighting, mirrors positioned at various angles, and comfortable seating. People would come and go as they were inclined and offer sartorial assistance to any fellow customers who asked for it.

Wendi1984

You would like my job, then. I work at a clothing store, and I spend most of my time in the fitting room area! People do ask me for my opinion sometimes. And, being an employee, I feel a bit more confident to make a suggestion unasked once in awhile.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

UmmLila and others, I invite you to come to Israel where this behavior is not considered nosy but normal. It is the land of unsolicited opinion for better or worse :-).

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Lol. I wouldn't call it nosy at all. You're doing a public service by giving away free fashion advice! I've noticed that many women, especially those without a shopping companion, are more than happy if someone helps them out.

Something similar has been happening to me the last 3 times I went shopping. Women actually come to me to ask for advice!!! It happens while I'm waiting my turn outside the trial rooms usually.

A young girl asked me to help her choose between two knit Blazers last time. She had one that looked a little tight and one that just fit. She tried to convince me she'll be losing some weight and asked me which one she should pick. Since the design didn't have any buttons, she was keen on the smaller size. I found myself giving her Angie style advice, telling her to shop for her real size and not depend on losing weight in the future as it may/may not happen.

The time before that, a very confused lady requested if I could check the length of her pants. Apparently she was trying on culottes but thought they were cropped pants and wanted to know 'are cropped pants supposed to fit like this?' I did tell her she had on culottes and not cropped pants, and they looked great on her. I also helped her chose the top to go with it. She looked grateful for the help.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

It would seem you are not alone. I have a tendency to give unsolicited advice too and it is sometimes when a sales person is trying to hard sell an item that isn't a good look.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Another nosy "little white lady" reporting for duty!

Mostly I tell people when I think something they are trying looks good. I never offer unsolicited criticism. But if someone asks me to help them choose between options, I give my opinion unreservedly, with reasons.

I'm like you in that I rarely get the opportunity. Not much regular shopping in my life, either.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Maybe we should start a shopping advice club. We could have local meet ups or post on Craigslist offering help to the clothes-lorn...

Anybody remember the stores like Filenes that had one big dressing room? Once I got used to them (shy Midwesterner by birth) they were kind of fun. I got some great advice in them, usually from grandmotherly type women.

tulle

Veteran

Ditto Suz!

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Honestly, I think this is part of the fun of the changing room. If I'm shopping alone I appreciate the input of others. It helps to have objective feedback from someone who isn't sales staff. Ladies of all colours and sizes should help each other out.

Beth

Veteran

I'm with approprio in thinking this is all part of the fun of the dressing room!

I mortified my dear husband once when we were in the Nordstrom lingerie dept. An older lady had just come back out onto the floor, caught my eye, and grinned that she'd just had a bra fitting. I'd actually already noticed her gorgeous, uplifted figure and replied, "I can tell! You look fabulous!"

She really did, but DH was a bit pink. LOL

unfrumped

Veteran

I almost brought told someone in LOFT that they ought to go to ____ to look for a type of item that they could not find here. Chickened out.

I am very reluctant to offer any negative opinion, even if could use the most delicate phrasing. So I hate being asked, if the item doesn't look good; I never know "what they are thinking". If something looks really fab, I will give encouragement, or if person is asking if it's too this or that, and it's NOT (to me) , I'll encourage.

Summer

Veteran

So funny, UmmLila.
I never give unsolicited advice,but do like to give a (genuine) compliment when I spot someone trying something that really suits them. These little encounters in the dressing room just add to the fun of shopping in my opinion.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I don't normally offer criticism either but sometimes make suggestions or comment on the fabness. I recall being in Melanie Lynn a few years ago and a poor young woman had tried on a dress that was wrong in every way. The salesperson was pushing it as the best thing since sliced bread and the young women was clearly not convinced and was not comfortable. When the clerk left, I offered an opinion and it was well received. Know your audience.

Carla

Veteran

DS#1 was in the change room at H&M when a man tried on an off the rack blazer. I was tucked out of the way, but near the mirror. He was quite a natty dresser but was hemming and hawing, and his (male) companion wasn't much help.

I told him the jacket fit beautifully across the shoulders, and through the arms, but was too short through the waist - which made for an odd look. Then I pointed out how, for him, he needed some extra length at the waist he understood right away. We commiserated on the great sale, price, etc. then I volunteered that a navy jacket is such a closet. workhorse that it really needs to be superb...I told him to hold out for 10/10. He liked that...and passed on the jacket.

Deborah

Veteran

I have "sold' more clothing in some stores than some of the SA's lol! Women trying on outfits often ask me what I think, which is really quite nice. I am honest and I have done the same thing as you UmmLili and selected things for women to try on:) It's all part of the fun.

celia

Veteran

Yes, I have done that some times. All of it.