YLF CAN change a life - YouLookFab Forum

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YLF CAN change a life

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I'm going to write about something other than fashion and style today. I'd like to thank you in advance for making the time to read this.

For months now I've been feeling lost and distracted. You might already know that I work from home by now. I live in a big city, have a hectic busy life, believe in having only a handful of close friends, and spend a lot of time by myself. While I chose this lifestyle for myself, there are days when I can't help but feel lonely. Days go by when I have no human contact besides my husband, and occasional chit-chats with my sister and best friend.

I'm a social person by nature, but I find that as I grow older, I have lesser patience with making new friends. Until and unless I know I have some shared interests with another person, I find it hard to work on the relationship to explore something we would mutually enjoy. I guess it's a shortcoming I must work upon in the coming months.

Since the time I joined YLF, these feelings have grown smaller and smaller. I suddenly have something to do with my free time that gets me really excited, and really look forward to that. I felt connected to other people, and I guess I feel like I'm a part of something fun. I really enjoy being able to talk to you all about style and fashion, as most of my friends don't share my passion for it. I've already found a kindred spirit in abc(Angie) and I truly enjoy my interactions with Diane G, Astrid, Kellygirl and Rachylou.

But YLF is more than just a style and fashion forum. Angie, if you ever read this, I want to extend a special thanks to you for creating this wonderful world within itself. To me, YLF is a place where creativity comes out to play, imaginations come alive, distances are bridged, and new friendships are fostered. In many ways, YLF makes me feel like the world is a smaller, safer place. It's given me a chance to talk to other wonderful women who live on the other side of the world; people who I probably would've never crossed paths with otherwise in this life. It's giving me a chance to be a part of so many style journeys, and it's a place with endless possibilities in my eyes.

YLF is a magical world where I lose all sense of time. The sense of camaraderie here is simply amazing....I honestly do not have the words to describe it into words....and believe me when I say it, I am good with words!

And while Angie gets the credit for giving birth to the idea of YLF, each and every one of you share the credit for building it into this welcoming, accepting and non-judgmental community it has grown to be.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Thank You. YLF is slowly changing my life. I don't know where I'll reach in my style journey, but I am simply amazed by the limitless possibilities infront of me. I might learn more about style, form life long friendships and get to live a different life through some of us. All of that is exciting, and I simply love it!

General

48 replies

Latest reply was from Style Fan

crutcher

Veteran

Manerra...What a lovely post!...So many of us feel just as you do about the experiences we have had on YLF...This is a very special place where fashion and style and caring come together to make some happy hearts...I hope you continue to enjoy being here and working with your style...There are limitless possibilites in this style journey and in life..Keep that glass always half full...Best to you!...

Joyce B

Veteran

I think you put it in the right words. I did not have a chance to welcome you before so welcome from me.

Summer

Veteran

What a lovely post, Maneera. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, many of which I can really relate to - not least your reference to losing all sense of time when you visit YLF!
I hope you continue to enjoy honing your style, as well as developing friendships here.

Anonymous

Are we twins or something?? I could have written the bit about life at home and sometimes only seeing hubby for days on end (or in my case you count the cat and DS as well, but the cat doesn't talk back :P). I also have just a small group of pals and non are interested in fashion. YLF is indeed a wonderful place and the world seems smaller for it.
Oh, and I meant to say what a lovely post you've written.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks for the shout out! I agree, it's a great place to explore fashion and style. I'm the only one in my circle of friends who is interested in clothes and style, so I don't have anyone to talk this out with in real life. And I can honestly say that YLF changed my life, too. I've been here for a few years and I would describe myself as a confident woman now, when I started out as a self-conscious awkwardly dressed girl. I don't think I would have managed that transition as well without the collective wisdom and advice of the people here.

Susie

Veteran

What a lovely post that I think a lot of us can relate to. This IS a special place.

deb

Veteran

You expressed perfectly what so many of us here feel. Thank you for doing it so eloquently.

MTBGirl

Veteran

What a beautiful post Maneera! My eyes are weepy right now. This is a special place that is changing my life too. Any many here I'm sure. I am not as good with words as you and you have expressed a lot of my feelings exactly! So happy that you have found us and that you let us be a part of your life too!

Anonymous

Very nicely written and articulated - and I agree that you speak for many of us here. I remember writing a similar post after my first month or so here, and feeling the same way you do! I'm sorry for not having connected with you yet, I have to admit I thought you were a blogger on here for other reasons - not sure where I got that idea from . Looking forward to getting to know more about your style

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I'm so glad to know I'm finally in the right place. Thanks to all of you for the encouragement.

Diane - how I wish we were twins! You have such an expressive face that I can almost imagine you speaking to me in person!

Astrid - the transition in your sense of style is amazing and very inspiring. You do definitely look 100% confident. I could never imagine you as a self conscious girl!

Deb, Susie, Summer and Crutcher, I'm glad to know we all feel the same way. It makes it that much easier to start connecting with people. And style is a great place to start! I think we can all thank our love for fashion for bringing us all together!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Aww Donna. I'm happy to be here too.

Lisap, I wonder what gave you that impression?! I do blog, but not about fashion or style! I hope to get to know you better as well

rachylou

Veteran

Well, I'm glad you joined us and am full enough of myself to think I speak for everyone What I love about YLF is how stimulating the conversation is - it's the Athenian ideal: lifts the human spirit, makes us more knowledgeable AND let's us all be more beautiful!

Alassë

Veteran

I agree, an eloquently worded post. Thank you for sharing with us!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What a lovely post! I think many of us share these sentiments. I know that YLF has made a HUGE difference in my own work at home life (and style) and I love coming here for my coffee breaks! I have tried to figure out what makes it so special and so different (for me) from other social networking sites like Facebook. I think the fact that we can have in depth conversations about a subject many of us love and can't share with others in our regular lives is part of the draw. And then the personalities of the people who are part of the community!

It is great to have you here and I look forward to getting to know more of your style.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Hi Suz,

I think you're absolutely right. Being able to have in-depth discussions about things we love and can't talk to other people in our real life about is another thing that adds to the charm of YLF.

And for people like us who work from home, it's sometimes impossible to have interesting (fashion related or not) conversations with another person...and social media sites don't always offer this kind of platform. Here we have a blog and a forum together---so we all see what Angie does and we also get to see how each one of us interprets that and makes it her own (for example - the grey, white and leopard print look). It only makes it all the more interesting and so fun.

kellygirl

Veteran

Well said! I couldn't have said it any better. You have managed to articulate what I have thought many times (but am too inarticulate to convey!) I've learned so much here and not just about fashion. I love this forum and the sense of community we have here. I can drop in and out and I always feel welcome. So glad that you have found us Welcome again!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Maneera, what a wonderful sentiment. I couldn't have said it better! I agree YLF is a magical place and it has certainly changed my life in many good ways.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

A quick note from London to say my goodness, Mannera. Greg and I are very touched. Thanks for taking the time to write this thread that shares your appreciation and feelings. Welcome, and I'm thrilled that you've found a happy place on the web. Look forward to hearing more about your style.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Thanks Angie. It's so good to hear from you! Hope you and Greg are enjoying London

Diana

Veteran

I totally agree with everything you've said, and have had much the same experience myself. =)

Marley

Veteran

I agree with you Maneera! Thank you for putting my feelings/thoughts into words!

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Maneera, thank you for giving voice to the way I've always felt about YLF. This community, and the ladies have comprise it, have been game-changers for me. And crediting their influence for my gradual style transformation drastically understates their collective impact. Intellectual stimulation, comic relief, sage advice and a virtual home are all things I've found here, and I'm thrilled to hear that you've had the same positive experience. I don't think you and I have interacted before, but allow me to belatedly bid you welcome. And thanks once again for this beautiful post.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Thank you Michelle, Marley, Diana, Firecracker and Kellygirl.

I do feel very welcome here

LACeleste

Veteran

You said what I think about YLF so beautifully! Thank you for a lovely post Maneera!

Robin

There's a little lump in my throat right now.

This is beautiful, and rings 100% true for me.

Thank you for putting your vulnerability out here for us to see - that's really trusting.

I especially liked this part of your post:

"To me, YLF is a place where creativity comes out to play, imaginations come alive, distances are bridged, and new friendships are
fostered. In many ways, YLF makes me feel like the world is a smaller, safer place."

There'd be nothing wrong with just sitting around and talking about clothes, but you've put your finger exactly on how and why YLF is more than that. When Michelle and I saw each other at the wedding the other week, Michelle was trying to explain to one of her friends why describing YLF as a place where we talking about outfits and style just doesn't do it justice.

And, oh yes, this feels like such a safe space.
I've marvelled in the short time I've been here about how noncompetitive everyone is here. Among groups of women, especially, there's often a little (or a lot) of scarcity thinking, where people are mean to or competitive with each other because they're sure there's not enough beauty, friendship, talent, success, or anything else to go around.

It's not like that here. This is such a genuine space, and the praise or constructive feedback always sounds heartfelt, and like it's really meant to support the receiver, not elevate or benefit the giver in some way.

Thanks, again, for summing YLF up so beautifully.

Your reply

Robin

I also wanted to add that I don't think that your preference for only working on relationships with people when those relationships seem promising, or are somehow rewarding, is a shortcoming. I think that, as time goes by, many of us realize that how we spend our time and energy matters, and that if we don't feel a spark or connection with someone, it usually isn't worth the energetic output to give them anything more of ourselves than whatever we give to a casual acquaintanceship.

About ten years ago I read a description of friendship in a self-help book (that was probably the last strictly self-help book I read!) that really resonated with me. The author talked about having bedroom friends (nothing to do with sex or physical intimacy), living room friends, and front porch friends, with different amounts of sharing and emotional intimacy with each group.

Now, of course, if you're feeling more confident, and want to meet more people and form deeper relationships with more people, than that's awesome. It definitely sucks to feel isolated. Been there, done that, stil there in many ways. I'd just hate to see you criticize yourself for the way you prefer to establish friendships. Your reply

Anonymous

Your post struck a special place in my heart. I love the camaraderie on this site and would love to know if any of you special ladies lived near me so we could strike up a friendship and I could have a shopping buddy!

Meredith

Veteran

Very well said! And do glad to have you as part of this community.

ramya

Veteran

I am in the same boat as you Manerra and echo what you feel

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