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YLF beyond the closet?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

So I was just cleaning out the fridge. Coming across two shriveled heads of Romaine, I was dissaplointed in myself and sorry I hadn’t made the yummy salads I’d envisioned them for. Then I realized the reason I hadn’t made the salads—I hadn’t ensured I had what I needed to make them. The one time I had a few appropriate things, it turned out pretty well, but that didn’t happen again. They were fridge orphans. Like closet orphans, but colder.

When have you found yourself using ideas from here elsewhere in life?

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15 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

anne

Veteran

Interesting. Menu planning to avoid waste is certainly something I do (not that I always manage to avoid it, especially since I don't do all the cooking). I hadn't really connected that to YLF though, and I'm not sure off the top of my head if I have used ideas from here elsewhere,

Except, I have appreciated increasing my empathy by learning so much more about people from YLF. I'll never again presume that a well dressed and groomed woman wouldn't want to talk to someone like me!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Yes, I’ve been a big menu planner at times. The concept wasn’t new to me, just the phrase, calling something an “orphan” in that context.

As far as empathy, this group is very hard for me, and I didn’t expect to be able to stick around as long as i have. This the longest I’ve ever lasted in a world that is so careful not to offend that it’s extremely difficult to figure out what people mean, especially if it seems that there might be a nugget of criticism in there. I’ve been in such places before, and they are really, really hard for me.

One person has flared out at me here, and when I tried to figure out /get her to explain what was wrong, she got Angie to tell me not to have anything to do with her any more. It’s especially sad because she and I are very much alike in some things and absolutely polar opposites in others, so I could see a lot of benefit in getting to know each other.

The fact that that has only happened once reads as success to me. Even better, she’s apparently unblocked me because I’ve seen her mention something I said in a discussion. Still, I won’t say anything to/about her, because she never did explain what was bothering her, so I wouldn’t know if I was offending her with something else.

If this translates to an ability to deal with such obliqueness irl, that’d be awesome!

ETA a couple positive examples. She’s sick of me quoting it, so I won’t, but last year when I posted a bunch of boots I liked, Jenni NZ had such a clear response it knocked me over. She knew exactly what bothered her about that collection and she said it in no uncertain terms. It was awesome! I knew exactly what she meant. I thought she was missing something, and I knew exactly what (because she’d been so clear). So refreshing! In a later discussion, Aida looked at that same group of boots and came up with most succinct and accurate statement of my style ever. Also very clear and very awesome.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

FashIntern, YLF should be fun, helpful, engaging and supportive. Not stressful and very hard! Yet you are still here, so YLF must be benefitting you some way.

Remember that the written word on a forum can come across very differently than face-to-face conversations. You mentioned to me here recently that you can come across as impertinent - (your word not mine!) - but that's how you process information. After having this forum for 12 years, I completely understand that, so there you go. Tolerance is important and so is giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I set the tone on this forum and work hard to create the ongoing safe and unoffensive corner of the internet. It's authentic, but awfully polite and cheerleading, which is just how I want it. It's not for everyone, and people come and leave all the time (they are very free to do so!). If YLF can help you in some way, that's fabulous and I'm thrilled because that's why YLF was created. If YLF has run its course, then it's onto the next thing, and we wish people that move on the very best.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Angie, I don’t want it to be stressful and hard! It’s your forum, so it runs your way. We are all different: veiled language avoids stress for some and is stressful for me, and always has been. It gives me HS flashbacks where I’m not sure what the “popular” girls are saying, and people think I’m saying things I’m not. If it gets to be too much, I’ll take another break. I think I generally do pretty well around here, and, as I said above, think/hope this experience will be helpful when I am in an “indirect language only” situation offline. Much as Anne feels more comfortable around well-dressed people, I hope I’ll be less uncomfortable and unsure of myself when people aren’t straightforward. Cheers!

Anonymous

Funny you should bring up food. I just did a mini kitchen reorganization after buying some new Pyrex storage containers. I have Tupperware that has seen better days, but I am still reluctant to get rid of it until I am sure I will no longer have a need for it. While this was the primary reason for the kitchen storage reorganization, I decided that I had to freshen things up with new shelf liners ( we did a complete kitchen makeover a little over 2 years ago). So while pulling things out of drawers, I made piles of stuff that I use all the time, stuff I use a few times a years, and stuff I have never used. Kind of like my closet.

So now I have put some new stuff into my cabinets, removed some, and found stuff that I don't even remember buying and placing them within reach so I will remember to use it. At least now I know what I have and what I need or don't need.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Danusia, you did a cabinet refresh! I can soooo relate to wanting to hang onto the Tupperware "just in case"--so many parallels in my life it's pinstriped.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Danusia, I'm impressed. GOOD FOR YOU. My toes are tickled.

FashIntern, to answer your question. I'm also constantly editing, cleaning out, and reorganizing our lives - like my closet! - am a bit obsessive that way. Too much of a control freak. I enjoy it though. From the fridge and our home, to our photos, garage, travel and my Dad's apartment. Don't me alone with the linen closet - I'll reorganize it all over again.

I am a chef in another life. I LOVE to grocery shop, cook interesting food, make food look gorgeous and taste delicious, and eat. I plan it all in my head although I should do it on paper. I absolutely use fridge orphans and am creative about it. I take an interest in nutrition too. It's another fun hobby that takes up a lot of my time.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

OMG, Angie, you and I are opposites in so many ways! I have all of those things perfectly organized in my head, I will reorganize them in my head, I plan out exactly the steps I'll take to clean a room--in my head. But actually doing the thing? Nah. Hardly ever happens, as my son can attest. I need to have you come spend a week--or a weekend, given your energy level.

But that second paragraph--food. Yes, I love to cook and to eat well! There was a time when I carefully plotted out the week's shopping, using half an eggplant here and the other half a few days later over there. That went out the window in grad school. These days I'm much more of an emotional food shopper. Sometimes it works well, but sometimes nope, not so much. Part of it, I think, is lack of support acts. When we've lived somewhere for a while, there are FFBOs for making a salad even if all I buy is lettuce.

Anonymous

I think as a whole the forum is very positive. I was reading for a long time before I decided to join, and i chose to join because of people's positivity. People here genuinely seem to want to help each other.
Theres a lot of conversations going on and things may not always come across perfectly as it is text based. And we dont see every post, so dont know the whole context. We may be responding and get distracted before completing the post properly too. I went off because i was afraid i had said something unintentionally hurtful (intended to be absurd) and felt really bad.
On a happier note, my fridge orphans go to the possums in the woods! My grandmother would always put her scraps outside and say "give it to the animals," instead of having food waste. Now mr suntiger and I do the same

Anonymous

Hi there . If this has to do with me , which seems likely , you are free to refer to me by name , and contact me if there is something concerning you .

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

This thread has gotten a bit off track. It was about things you’ve learned here that pop up elsewhere in life. Anne gave an example in the realm of emotions/social interactions, so I replied with another example in the same realm.
Lisa P, so is it ok now if I refer to you/your comments on YLF now? That would be nice! If you want to contact me directly, of course you can—I never blocked you—but honestly, I can’t remember any of the details, just that old confusion of trying to ask what’s wrong and fix the problem and being told that’s making it worse, so having no way to make it better.

Anonymous

I’ve sent you a private message .

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I get happy when dinner fixings are slim (due to not making it to the grocery store) and I pull out a new good meal.

Helena

Veteran

Definitely Fashionintern - I am constantly re-organizing, assessing, analyzing ... I think my interest in fashion is as much about that as the actual clothes and looks of things! I definitely have issues with 'fridge orphans', and am improving my meal planning and shopping as a result. I think of every aspect of our lives as a fractal of the whole, which is why nothing is superficial when done consciously, imo!

As to the feedback sidebar, can I suggest (and you might already do this, I can't remember), that you feel free to say in your post something like "honest, blunt feedback greatly appreciated" or similar - I know I try to always find the positive in every post, and am more likely to offer critique when it is specifically requested! And then once you've made that request, try to trust that feedback is honest, whether it's vague, specific, critiquing, or complimentary My experience is that just about everyone here is being honest, but will either emphasize the positive, or else maybe just is responding quickly and without much analysis, or else is offering critique in the most constructive way they can

rachylou

Veteran

I do have my ‘FFBMs’ - fast fall back meals

... but there are no food orphans ... ok. I lie. I won’t eat my Sky Queen cheese without my Trader Joe’s ‘European bread.’ Conceivably I could eat it with the apple that’s always in my fridge, but not really. Hehe

Also: I do like to apply PPP everywhere now.