Yes I want to hear Ms Mary's rules too. Don't take things personally. It is not about you. Another one of mine.

Style Fan, is that one of your rules - don't take it personally? If it is, it's a good one.

I am pleased you are going JAileen, I agree with what the others have said. Weddings are tricky with lots of people to please.

I am also interested to hear the rules from Mary. Thanks Style Fan for adding yours and Rachylou.

I'm here! Some of the rules are a little obscure but here they are:

1. Be kind.
2. Don't be poor.
3. Use it or lose it.
4. Have young friends.
5. Look where you want to go.
6. No chair noises (i.e. don't sigh when you sit down or get up).
7. Presume good intentions.
8. Do the right thing.
9. Never assume the ball is dead.
10. People are not improvement projects.

Mary, thank you!

Sally, thank you, too.

No chair noises?! Never heard of that before but it's a good one. I'm going to implement it, just for myself. Thank you, MsMary!

JAileen, I'm late to this round, but look forward to your outfit selection for the occasion.

Amy, I'll be doing an outfit post soon. I know, chair noises!

OT on OT - I'm such a smart aleck, I see this now. StyleFan - my version is 'Maybe it's YOU.' Lol.

So many wise women here, JAileen : )
So kind of Ms Mary and LF to share her rules. Now I want to know Rachylou's!!

I swear, "no chair noises" is the hardest one! But I think it's the most important because otherwise you end up like my mom, who moans and groans and sighs every single minute...

Helen, you're so right!

Mary, I generally don't make chair noises, but my Jack Russell does!

Mary this is so so so good

JAileen, you are already on the right track but I will chime in anyway.
I have a bad problem of trying to imagine what someone was thinking and imagining the worst, typically paranoid ! My DH cannot fathom it but he patiently says, I doubt that, probably not, that seems unlikely...to get me to realize that 1, it's probably not about me, and 2, it doesn't do any good to ruminate.

Anyways, the other thing that becomes more apparent as one, ah, ages, is that friends can be hard to make/keep and even a modest friendship is worth some investment of time & energy and that might lead to some good thing. Plus weddings are by nature likely to be happy--sorry about heat, though.

Hot, outdoor weddings seem to be all the rage with brides now, and my DD had one, though we got extremely lucky and it was only "warm" and the setting was quite picturesque, and there was an indoor escape available. So you may sympathize with the MOB that that may not hve been her choice!

Plus you started a great thread to get MsMary's list, and now I want to go work on creating mine, for what may be a next chapter in my life!

Unfrumped, yes, it was great to get Mary's list! Maybe you could start a new thread, asking people for their rules for life.

I just RSVP'd, and talked to our other neighbors who are in their 80s, and offered to drive them. The wedding is at a ranch an hour drive from here. Today isn't too hot, it's only 80, but 20 mph wind.

Invitation lists are so hard! I avoided having parties for my birthdays because I couldn't stand it!

Weddings are really hard. We weren't invited to either the wedding of our Best Man's son or our Matron of Honor's son. We were initially very hurt, but in truth, we were not close to those kids. And one of their brides wanted a very small wedding. And for the Matron of Honor's daughters, who I knew more, and whose wedding my friend had more control over, we were invited.

And for one of my Matron of Honor's daughter's wedding, there was a same day cancellation, and my friend asked my parents if they'd like to attend. My parents were thrilled, and I also think it was a non-political choice. She didn't risk asking someone who had just missed the cut.

So, I say, the choice is not whether to go given the late notice, but whether you want to go. Where are you on the desire to go scale and on the obligated to go scale? And if it's more that you feel obligated, examine if you should feel obligated.

I love the joyousness of a wedding. I don't do heat well, but it was worth it for the one I went to. Think about water, hat, fan, cloth that can be wet with water from your water bottle, etc.

P.S. I also spent way too much time stressing about what to wear to that outdoor wedding. I think I was the only one who cared/noticed.

I took so long to write my response, I hadn't seen that you RSVP'd. And how lovely that you offered rides.

Barbara, thank you for sharing your experience. When I talked to my neighbor she seemed very happy. She's more than my neighbor, she's really my friend.