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Worn out, but still works - time to swap out? Thoughts?

ironkurtin

Veteran

Ok, this is a bit of a tricky one.

My very much loved MIL gave me a pair of her own old ski overalls that I have used now for at least 8 years. They're getting older, they're pilling on the inside, and they definitely look loved, but they're utterly fine. I wear them roughly a week out of the year.

Now, a decent chunk of me would like to get a part of ski *pants* so I don't have to take off everything when I need to use the restroom skiing. These pants are definitely a little bit short on me. And I wouldn't mind getting something new just for newness, you know what I mean?

But my MIL died at the beginning of the year. (Skiing, as it happens, it was a real shock.) So I don't know. Is it disrespectful somehow to surplus these perfectly still-usable-but-definitely-used ski pants? My husband is not only thrifty, he mourns his mother deeply, so it's a bit of a landmine.

What would you do?

Shopping

16 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, well, part of me thinks that the ski pants/overalls from your MIL are hanging around for sentimental reasons. Personally, pilling on the inside makes me scratch like crazy so this would be enough of a reason to get rid of them...

Perhaps if you broached it as you need ski pants to better pee if your DH says anything? I would think the new ski pants are in order.

I used to have ski overalls. I was like 8. They were purple

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Hmmm....I would wear the old ones for at least this season, for your DH's sake. My MIL passed last month and little things can mean a lot to him at this time. Very sorry for your loss.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Nothing wrong with updating gear as needed, but the timing might be a little sensitive right now, no? If it's been 8 years, what's one more week of wear going to matter in the long run, just so that raw nerves don't get gangled?

rae

(website)

Veteran

Ski pants are a large item to keep around for sentimental reasons. And it's COLD when you go to ski - you don't really want to strip off every time you need to pee. Since you had a good relationship with your MIL, I bet you have some other things around to remember her by. And if it really comes down to it with the DH, that's what the storage box under the be is for...

ironkurtin

Veteran

Oh, sorry, I did wear them this year. I'm looking at *next* year.

I miss my MIL a lot, and part of me wonders if she'd rather have me hold onto her pants, or if she'd rather have me get something fab and new. She was a fab one, that lady.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'd buy new ones on sale in March. That's when all the ski stuff is a deal.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I think it would be perfectly fine to get a new pair for the next season (especially when it's sale time!) That was very sweet of you to wear them this past time....

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

IK, have you spoken to DH about this?

My condolences about the passing of your MIL. That's very sad.

lynne

Veteran

I'd go ahead and get a new pair. Can you alternate wearing old and new, or is packing an issue?

ironkurtin

Veteran

Angie, I did speak to DH but he is probably one of the very cheapest people alive (not to put a fine point on it). I literally have to destroy his ripped t-shirts to keep him from wearing them out in public. So for me, it's more about gauging his emotional response than his fiscal one.

I think the idea of getting a pair of pants and then alternating, then saying loudly, "Gee, it SURE IS EASIER AND FASTER to use the bathroom in the pants!" is a good idea. Because boy howdy, having to strip down to pee is noooooo fun.

I don't want anyone to think I'm "throwing out" my MIL by passing on her ski duds. I mean, she wore them, then I wore them *for years*, by anyone's standard what more can you ask from a pair of ski overalls?

qfbrenda

Veteran

Granted, I haven't skied for many, many years, but what I remember about ski overalls is that they actually stay UP rather than falling down. Ski pants would be a great thing to get in March, as long as you are sure they won't lead you to mooning anyone on the slopes.

I'm very sorry for your loss. That must have been a shock.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I know that everyone has different ideas of what is appropriate and the whole sentimental thing, but I'm not getting why one must hold on to something just because that person has passed on. Would you have been thinking of getting a new pair if she were still here? I honestly think I'd say to my own husband.. "if you want to keep your mom's _______ for sentimental reasons, feel free to in your side of the closet, but it's time for me to update/replace this item."

Charmian

Veteran

ironkurtin, I'm so sorry to hear of you and your husband's loss.

Aside from the issues of timing and broaching it with your DH -- which are big and will definitely affect your timing -- I would ask: of the things that you've inherited, do the ski overalls capture the essence of your MIL?

I ask because, when my sister passed (also unexpectedly), I held on to many of her things; I wanted to remember it all. As time went by, I realized that I didn't need (or want) to remember the annoying bits of our shared life, which helped me pare the items down. It's a bit like the closet purging threads on the forum: by getting rid of the cruft, I can truly focus on the treasured mementos.

If the overalls pass the "essence" test, then hang on to them with a clear conscience! If they don't, wait until you and DH are ready, and reconsider whether you want to let them go.

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

I would ask your husband directly if he would like you to keep the pants, not for thrift reasons but because of her memory. Can't you keep them and get a new pair? Keep them in the sentimental box or wear them if it would make your husband happy. I would also explain about the bathroom issue. He probably does not get that part.

Anonymous

You probably think of your MIL every time you use the ski pants. Maybe DH will understand if you tell him that the ski pants now make you sad, that they make you think of her death skiing when you see them. That's what they would do to me.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I lost my mom suddenly a little over three years ago, and I understand. I kept a few of her things, even though I could or would wear very little of it. During a recent closet review, I came across a sweater of hers. My main memory of this sweater was my wearing it on the last night of my mom's life, after we made the decision to remove life support and let nature take it's course. I felt guilty about getting rid of the sweater but I decided I didn't want to keep things around that reminded me of how my mom was in that very sad and painful time. I preferred to keep things that bring back happier memories.

Over the last few years, I've let go of a number of her things. The main items I've kept are her jewelry and her scarves. There are some sentimental items too, but we've been making efforts to reduce clutter in our house, so I've become more choosy about how much I keep.

I'm sorry this is a hard decision for you. Maybe hang onto them for another season if you're unsure. There is no right or wrong answer. Honestly, I don't think these things matter to our loved ones once they pass away. I imagine they would only want us to keep things in our homes and lives that bring us joy.

Coincidentally, I just got rid of my old ski pants. They were about 10+ years old, too big, and pilling! I decided that if we make plans to go skiing, I'll treat myself to new ski pants that fit!