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Words of Wisdom from Veterans needed and maybe and ephiphany

frannieb

Veteran

A somewhat long and rambling post after spending the day in my closet:

So I have now been on YLF for 1 year. I need to know that at some point my rate of shopping and replacing will decline and I will be more of a curator of my wardrobe.

I did a big purge or so I thought months ago - now I have done the Marie Kondo thing and still purged/edited out even more clothes (15 button down shirts)

I just built almost from scratch a bridge season capsule because I don't have one, rebuilt my workout clothes capsule (which I needed to do and love my new capsule) and now am in the process of beginning to build a summer casual capsule wardrobe.

I should say - I did end up with a winter capsule I love love love and get nothing but compliments on how I dress for work. Everything is worn and loved.

How could I have had a closet full of clothes and not a working wardrobe - I will answer for myself
1. I only bought clothes for work - Um yea one does need clothes for the weekend and camping and casual summer
2. ignored my style and what I liked - I will Never buy another button down shirt again after giving away 15 which I never wore but kept buying because I thought it was the thing to do
3. didn't pay attention to silhouettes that work best for me
4. bought for a fantasy life
5. Didn't think in terms of capsules

Capsules I still need to create:
- Summer work casual because it is just me and the secretaries and I don't need to dress really but can't wear shorts - Have some key pieces already - as seems with all my capsules have to find the building block pieces to cohesively bring it together
- Summer casual (weekends/camping/vacation)- going to follow Angie's building blocks post
http://youlookfab.com/2012/08/.....e-capsule/

At which point I will have basically recreated every season and lifestyle capsule I have.
I now have the following seasonal capsules

Late summer/Fall
Early winter
Deep winter
Bridge (spring into summer)
High summer

The following lifestyle capsules

Workout
Weekend - fall/winter/spring versions
Holiday
Camping
Summer Casual work (in creation)
Summer casual weekend (in creation)

So if you stuck with me through this whole post - I'm not sure where I was going with it all just some ramblings and would love any and all words of wisdom

General

23 replies

Latest reply was from Deborah

abc

Veteran

Instead of being disappointed that you still have work to do (aka spending, more shopping, since that seems to be part of the source of your stress if I read right) - focus on how far you've come in that year. YES, it can be frustrating. YES, we (all) make mistakes. YES, it is expensive, too. But...you are in a far better place now than you were 1 year ago, you have capsules that WORK, you have "trimmed the fat" (as in button down shirts) AND most importantly to me, you have done some inner reflection and identified the root causes of some of the errors in the past. To me, you are in a very good place for moving forward. Don't get down on yourself now!!!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like you are making great progress and getting to know yourself and your needs. I did the same purging on more than one occasion over the past couple of years. A few items I "purged" to a holding place and ended up putting back into rotation more recently after figuring out how to style them. Most of what I purged didn't fit well enough or the material was uncomfortable or I didn't love the color/pattern.

Summer casual for a very hot climate is continually challenging to me even with the YLF advice because we have 90-100 F temps for often 6 months of the year. Every. single. day. Then the indoors is cold AC - but it's hard to lug around a sweater/jacket on your arm when it's so hot outside (not to mention they get wrinkled). Shorts are the normal summer uniform for me - I came to the conclusion of why I don't like dresses in summer (as many others do). I don't like the feeling of my legs pressing against each other in the heat - like when sitting in the car or sitting outside, etc. Shorts are much more comfortable to me in that kind of temperature. Well, that and the fact that dresses/skirts get much more wrinkled when you are hot and spend any time sitting in the car.

Anyway - I wouldn't totally give up on button downs - I find them so useful in summer (as long as they are very light weight) because I can roll/unroll the sleeves as needed and with a semi-tuck in front, it keeps things breezy. I don't like button downs that are fitted in any way or that require ironing to look good. But that's just me - my style is super casual.

Sara L.

Veteran

It sounds like you have made a lot of progress and are close to finishing your main capsules. The summer work capsule and summer casual capsule may have some spillover which could reduce your shopping requirements. I realize you can't wear shorts to work, but maybe some of the tops could work for both capsules.

Alassë

Veteran

I think you've done a great job on your capsules. I'm sure the summer ones will come together well after all the practice you've had.

MsMary

Veteran

Yes, at some point your shopping and replacing and purging will go way down and you will be able to relax into your lovely curated wardrobe!

I came to YLF several years ago after a massive weight loss left me needing to replace everything from the shoes up and the underwear out. Oh my gosh! I bought so many things, and made so many mistakes, and made so many detours! I swear, I did nothing but shop and replace and purge for about three years!!

Then last summer I bought a house and started a big renovation project, and all the creative energy and money that had been devoted to clothes was redirected to house stuff, and guess what? My wardrobe was there for me! I had done all the work and my wardrobe was in great shape so I could put together a fab or nearly-fab outfit every day, even when I was living in a construction zone.

So I guess my point is it takes time, energy and money to get your wardrobe really up and running, but it's totally worth it. So hang in there and don't get discouraged!

Liz

Veteran

Yes, it will get simpler.

But I'd also encourage you to break down the barrier between your spring to summer bridge capsule and your summer work capsule. Just because "It's only me and the secretaries" doesn't mean you have to radically casualize how you dress. If you are OK going sleeveless, many of your spring bridge tops will work just fine for summer with one of your skirts and a pair of sandals or espadrilles.

Yes, you'll wear out those tops a bit quicker if you wear them all summer. Personally, I don't mind that. Because I always want fresh items in my closet, I'd rather wear what I already have and replace it, than have a bunch of limited wear stuff that I keep around until I purge it because I'm bored with it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It took me more than 3 years to get where you got in 1 year, so I think you are doing brilliantly!! Congratulations!

I echo what Ms. Mary said. I spent a TON of money and time last year building a cohesive wardrobe. I don't have that kind of money this year, but I'm pretty well set for this season, with a few upgrades. There definitely comes a time when you are well refreshed and you are now buying with purpose so you will make far fewer mistakes.

Louise

Veteran

This is brilliant, I've been here years and I haven't got this far as I'm a heart over head shopper. You've done an amazing job to create your capsules I think once each is complete you will then just need to purge worn out items or items you no longer love to keep things ticking over x

frannieb

Veteran

Thank you all for such great words of wisdom - I spend so much time thinking capsules and creating them. Just because I can spend the money doesn't mean I want to keep spending on clothes. So good to know a end to the purge and spend may be around the corner.

Liz - Thank you for the great wisdom on - I don't mind going sleeveless so many of my seasonal bridge shirts could make the jump and I do have a good base of clothes. It might not be as much shopping as I think.

Ms. Mary - I can't wait to get to that phase.

Texstyle - We are opposites in seasons - our summers are hot but relatively short depending on the year if you blink it is gone - No on the other end we have the neverending winter.

ABC - yes i have been learning learning learning and not making nearly the mistakes I have made in the past.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I think you re already in a very good place. You love your winter wardrobe. You have a good idea what were your mistakes. You also have a good idea what you need. This is an excellent place to be after just a year!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

You have come so far, Frannie. That's quite a list of accomplishments you've achieved. You are almost there with getting your wardrobe where you want it. Then you can focus on maintaining it, by replacing and refreshing items as they wear out or you get tired of them. I wish I were so aware, organized, and disciplined.

rachylou

Veteran

It *is* just totally fascinating how one can have so much clothing and nothing to wear. I had some great outfits and a totally non-functioning wardrobe.

I think the shopping does settle down. Or well, in my case, I spend less and get a lot more wear out of everything. The Lilypup and I *do* like to get out and about and see what's what.

My summer capsule I'm also still working on. This is the toughest season, if you ask me. We're talking hot weather, so every item has to be strong and stand on its own. It's also such a cheerful, pretty season - which is so at odds with the *grim and gritty city.* At the moment I'm thinking pale lemony yellows and chambray. I had been thinking hot pink and black... What I have is all 1950s, full-skirted sundresses.

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I'm impressed with what you've achieved already. I've been on YLF for almost three years now, and finally I seem to be more settled into my preferences and wardrobe. It's been a joyful roller-coaster ride with lots of experimenting and detours, just as Ms Mary and Suz are mentioning. My spending hasn't gone down (ahem), but I realize that if I want, I can go through the next six months and not miss a thing, and probably also continue into next fall. You have definitely done well.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I'm not a great exemplar because I joined YLF, went for a couple years gradually culling the crazy bad stuff, and then lost enough weight that I basically had to strt completely over, which turned out to be a blessing (albeit really expensive). Recently I've gained about half the weight back, so my skinny clothes don't fit right now and I've had to bulk up on larger basics. I'm a lot better at knowing what suits me and what doesn't, though. If I could manage to go a whole year without my body changing I'd be in excellent shape.

Here's the thing, though: I think there's a bit of the tail wagging the dog happening here. If you don't want to shop for a while, don't. Presumably you have enough clothes to wear so you're not naked. So stop and wear what you have. If certain outfits or items don't work for you, write that down somewhere so you have that info when you start shopping again.

At least for me, I have found that there will always be more clothes I'd like to own, more bargains I'd like to score. There is always a slightly better, more optimized wardrobe out there for those of us who are interested in how we dress. It will never be perfect, and if it ever is perfect for a day, something else will change and it won't be perfect anymore. That's just the nature of the beast. If you're a fitness enthusiast you don't expect that one day you'll get so fit you won't have to work out anymore. That's not how it works, and same with wardrobe building.

Ok, now I'm pontificating...

Jeweled

Veteran

I think that a major part of developing a personal style and wardrobe is trial and error.

I started my process by working out my style, capsules, and items to purchase by making lists on paper.

BUT . . . when it came to actual shopping and wearing, I discovered that most of what I had on paper didn't work for the real me and my real life.

Fortunately I didn't feel committed to what I had on paper (I often feel committed to things I've said or written).

And because there was such a gap between what I'd planned on paper and what worked for me in reality, I decided I had to see with my own eyes what kinds of clothing and accessories look good on me.

So I tried on tons of different things in fitting rooms, without buying anything - just to see what worked for me and what didn't, and why. That was tremendously helpful for narrowing down what I can buy that will work for me.

I still made some purchasing errors (I just don't look or feel good in trouser-style pants, which I discovered after buying 5 pairs of them), and like you, standard button down shirts just somehow aren't me (discovered after buying one, even though I love the color of it).

Purchasing mistakes are just learning experiences that give you insights into what to add to your wardrobe and what to leave in the store.

I think developing a personal style and wardrobe is an ever-evolving process of learning what actually works for you and your life at the current moment.

fuzzylogic

Veteran

Wow! Well done, frannieb! Impressive!

I suspect that your rate of buying/purging will decrease as
1. your wardrobe becomes more functional with all the great capsules you have formed, and
2. You love every piece rather than just having it there as a temporary filler

It will, as you point out, bcome a matter of 'curating' and not 'creating'.

Anonymous

You've achieved so much! I've been here nearly 3 years and I'm still refining. I think you need to give yourself a huge pat on the back. I have to say that I love how you separate your wardrobe into capsules and it's obviously working for you. Keep up the good work!

tulle

Veteran

I don't think you need words of wisdom as much as a big pat on the back and Congratulations! You're miles ahead of me, and I'm taking note of your decision making process. My only suggestion would be to consider skirts for Summer. They can actually be cooler and more comfortable than shorts, I find.

Gennifyr

"ignored my style and what I liked - I will Never buy another button down shirt again after giving away 15 which I never wore but kept buying because I thought it was the thing to do"

I think a lot of people fall into this. For me, I do almost all my shopping online. It helps to make a list, with rules for what goes on it, and stick with it. I also put things into the shopping cart (online) and then come back to it a couple of times over a week or two before committing to a purchase. I often decide that the item I put in isn't keeping me interested and I'll switch it for something that makes my heart sing.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Imo you have made huge progress, the lessons you've learned from your winter capsule should translate well to the rest of your wardrobe. My only suggestion is borrowed from Angie - don't forget to have fun Thanks for sharing.

unfrumped

Veteran

Sounds like you're doing great! Good idea to spend some time listening to your inner style voice now and note what things you really love, and focus on those. I think the building capsules is a great idea, but also try to avoid "checking all the boxes" on capsules or activities, if you haven't come across the right items yet. Multi-purpose some stuff so you don't buy things just to cross off your list.

Mellllls

Veteran

you're doing great! i think it takes AT LEAST a year to get to this point.

Deborah

Veteran

You are doing great! I have been here for 3 years and 11 months:) And I would say it has only been in the last 12 months that I have moved from shopping and replacing to more curating my closet. It's a lovely place to be, but I wouldn't be here if I hadn't put the hard yards in previously. And it does take work to put together a wonderfully cohesive wardrobe. Part of the process for me has been being real about my lifestyle and my needs, breaking bad habits and establishing newer healthier ones, valuing and appreciating what I have and making sure I don't forget that this is meant to be fun.

Well done. You are on what it is an ongoing and fabulous journey.