WLS Eating Out/Social Eating - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

WLS Eating Out/Social Eating

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

This was my downfall last week. We went out to dinner with another couple and ate (and drank) way too much. Wednesday I am going to visit my parents, and I will be eating both lunch and dinner out with them. I'm already dreading it. We've agreed upon the lunch restaurant, so I can plan what to eat, but I know that dinner will probably be somewhere not diet friendly (since it's dad's choice for his birthday).
It's really difficult to gauge the calories of restaurant foods. Often, that things that seem like they would be lo cal aren't, and the low cal options are surprising. (for instance, the restaurant that we are lunching at has several salads. The option with grilled chicken, walnuts, apples and bleu cheese is about half the calories as a Caesar salad with grilled chicken.) I know that 4 oz of grilled meat, plain rice or baked potato and steamed vegetables or a green salad with a viniagrette dressing are probably my best options, but that's not always available.
How do you cope with eating out?

General

30 replies

Latest reply was from Sihaya

Queen Mum

Veteran

eating out is tough. Do you ever just order a salad with dressing on the side and then eat a few bites off of hubby's plate? then you're getting to enjoy the yummy stuff without eating a whole plateful. When I am really trying to watch it that is pretty much what I do.
most restaurants can pretty much customize a plate for you with substitutions.

another idea is to eat something before you go (a half of a lean meat sandwich or something) and then again order a small salad and enjoy a bite or two off of hubby's plate. or take something descreet with you that you can supplement with if you need to (a small baggie of raw almonds is my go-to meal on the run)

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Hubby won't be there (and often is not there when I am eating out). And even if he was, I could never pick off of his plate. Generally, we eat out because we are away from home the whole day. Which also means that I don't get my normal snacks and I am starving by that time. I need a whole meal.

Maya

Veteran

When I met Angie and Greg on saturday, I knew I would be eating Chinese food and cupcakes later in the day (cupcakes didn't happen but that's fine). I originally opted for a salad with spinach and shiitake mushrooms and a sesame ginger dressing. They didn't have it that day though, so instead I got a much less healthy mozzarella, pesto, and tomato sandwich. However, I only ate half the sandwich and filled up on the little side salad of leafy greens.

You can usually tell if a salad is good or bad just by looking at the dressing. Isn't ceasar salad made with cream-based dressing? 90% of the calories are in the dressing. Better to stick with vinaigrettes and simple olive oil bases.

There are no redeeming qualities as far as high tea goes, nutritionally speaking, so I just saved all my calories for that on Sunday. Had some edamame and cereal as well but that was it.

Vani

Veteran

Khris, I do what Kim does - eat a small meal before heading out to eat. Also, at the restaurant I pick a salad with nuts, cheese, grilled chicken and veggies and order a vinaigrette type dressing on the side. Or go for a grilled, broiled or pan seared fish entree without the butter sauce with a side of steamed veggies.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Kim is right; getting salad dressing on the side makes all the difference in the world. And sadly yes, caesar salad is among the worst choices possible if you're trying to eat lean.

When I'm out I often will try to order an option that will still have health benefits even if it's not prepared in the most diet-friendly way. If I order a salmon dish, for instance, I'm resigned to the fact that I don't know if they're adding tons of unnecessary fat, but I also know I'm getting a great nutritional boost and a dose of fish oils that are great for my skin and hair. Most of eating out has become psychological for me, actually. I have to decide ahead of time how I want to approach the meal. Will it be an indulgeance where I let myself have whatever I want, or is it a sort of testing ground where I have to make prudent choices in order to stay on plan? Maybe take some of the pressure off yourself on Wednesday by approaching dinner as a treat to yourself. If you skip the alcohol entirely that night, you can minimize the guilt and still have whatever you want, then get back on plan the next day.

marianna

Veteran

I totally messed up this week too. I ate out a LOT and used barely any discretion. I don't know what I was thinking.

When I'm being good, I stick to soup and salad, usually. A cup of soup and a side salad is usually a safe bet. Even a small cup of a creamy soup isn't THAT caloric.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Part of my issue I guess is that I don't like what most restaurants offer as healthy options. I can't stand fish- so that's out completely. I like viniagrette dressings on salads, but it's the nuts, croutons/wontons, etc and cheese that drive the salads that I like into heavy calorie zone. Here, about half the places make caesar salads with an oil base, and half with a creamy base. In fact, you'll sometimes see it designated at "creamy caesar dressing" on menus.
On Wednesday, I can't drink anyway- I have to drive home with the kids, and it will take me a couple of hours.
I think another of my issues is that when I am eating out with others, they just don't "get it". My mother and I went back and forth over trying to find a restaurant for lunch (after she told me that wherever I wanted was fine). It's not just me, but my very picky vegetarian 10 year old needs something that isn't fried, full of cheese or white flour due to her GI problems. After a couple of suggested places being shot down I told that to my mom, and also that I wanted to be able to stay under 600 calories for lunch and my mom suggested a buffet. That's about the worst choice for us. My husband has a knack for picking the highest calorie foods, and then adding extra fat to them, so sharing foods with him is out. In fact, eating out with him is a nightmare, because even if I order healthy- I have to sit there and watch him eat that. When we went out to dinner with our friends I thought it would be ok, since the wife is also trying to watch what she eats, but that went out the window. We were eating family style, and even though I ordered a beef salad and told myself I would just eat that- I had some of their stuff.
I'm sorry- I'm just really frustrated right now.

rute

Veteran

When eating out I always go for the salad. When it's at someones home, I always fill the plate with vegetables and just a small bit of the main dish. For the dessert I choose fruit.
I understand your problem, it's difficult, I'm very lucky because I really love fish, vegetables, salad, vegetarian options.
My problem are the sweets, so once a week I go for a sweet, a small piece of cake, a cookie, a small piece of chocolate.

Maya

Veteran

I think your options are:

-Eat what you like (but what is not healthy), and not eat a lot of it
-Eat what you don't like (but what is healthy) and fill up on it
-Eat a bit of both

Am I missing anything?

Ele

(website)

Nah, I think you've got it Maya.

This is a problem I don't often encounter, since I rarely eat out. When I do, I'm inclined to view it as a "treat" and have whatever I want. As a vegetarian the options I gravitate to are often among the lighter on the menu anyway- I like a soup and salad combo, like Marianna. I mean, pastas are often vegetarian but it's rare that I'll have pasta in a restaurant- it's "home food" to me. Worst case scenario I'll be tempted by a delicious risotto, and in that case I'll try to pay attention to when I'm full, and stop eating then!

OT, but I feel like Caesar salad gets an unfairly poor rap- "real" Caesars are just egg yolk, olive oil, lemon juice and parmesan. Hardly virtuous, but not the worst thing you can do to yourself! It's the bastardized American (and I use that term loosely- many countries are similarly guilty) version with mayo that you need to watch out for.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Well honestly Maya you're missing the whole issue for me. I've been heavy my whole life. Obviously, I don't know what is healthy, what is a good portion size, what is a better choice, etc. I am still learning all of this, and I go through periods of time when I am so unsure about what *is* a good choice, that I will undereat, rather than eat something "unhealthy". Then I will swing the other way and buy processed diet foods (which I don't really think are healthy) because I am so tired of not having anything to eat. The problem is that if you start to read about nutrition and health, everything contradicts each other.
Food is a huge part of life. It's not like you can just put it on the shelf and deal with it later. You have to eat every day.

Maya

Veteran

I'm sorry if I said something to make you feel bad or if I'm just totally ignorant, Khris. I'm very new to this myself. I think you are underestimating yourself though. You have shed a LOT of pounds so you must have some grasp on good vs bad foods. Restaurants are always tough, because you aren't cooking the food so you have no idea what was used in it. It's not just you.

I'll add more soon but I just wanted to say sorry if I'm not really being helpful!

Vani

Veteran

Khris, I'm so sorry that this is so frustrating. Is there a menu for the restaurant you are going to that we can look at and work out a few options that appeal to you and are diet friendly?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My dear Khris, how about just going with the flow that day and doing the best you can. But stepping up the excercise regime both the day before and the day after. That might help relax the calorie situation on the big food day. Does that sound like a doable plan?

Dusty

(website)

The way I handle going out to eat (if I can't get calorie information - you'd be surprised at some of the restaurants that have it available if you ask) is to order what I want (within reason - some things are just completely ridiculous) and ask for a box right then. When the food comes I put half of it in the box right then and only eat what's left on my plate.

I also go by the 80/20 rule; as long as I behave myself 80% of the time, I don't beat myself up over the other 20%.

Lee Hovey

I think Angie and Dusty provided some great ideas.

Also a few things I try:
- When I meet a girlfriend for lunch/dinner we usually order one Appetizer and one meal and share both, or just order an appetizer and get small side salads. That way we both are mindful of our portion sizes and having the small side salad first helps fill you faster.
- When I go with someone I can't share with I am one of those annoying customers that asks to customize everything. An example is, I sometimes order a burger with nothing on it except lettuce and tomato, and ask for side salad instead of fries. I order almost any meal with either no toppings/sauces or get them on the side, and always have veggies or a salad as a side.

Obviously, none of this might work for you, but I figured any input could turn out to be hepful.

As Angie was indicating I think the most important thing is just do the best you can to make positive choices, and then just relax and try to enjoy yourself. Don't beat yourself up! Eat extra healthy before and after the social events and add a few minutes extra to your exercise routine for the week.

marianna

Veteran

I totally understand where Khris is coming from. I think it's really hard for someone who has been a normal/average weight all their life to understand what we go through with food. Those of us who have battled our weight all our lives clearly have deeper food issues than just "eat less of that, don't eat that!" Food is a hard *addiction* to break.

Dusty

(website)

Food is the worst addiction to break. With alcohol, cigarettes, etc., you can avoid them (not that I'm saying that's easy), but you can't just stop eating.

I'm not sure if this link works if you're not logged in to the site, but here is an eating out guide:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/res.....dining.asp

Carole

Veteran

I don't eat out much, but when I do I avoid bread, order something grilled that's not swimming in sauce or butter, and have wine instead of cocktails.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I really appreciate all of the responses here. I don't have time to respond to them all right now, but I am keeping it all in mind for tomorrow.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

You have received some fabulous advice Khris, I think the key is control what you can control and try not to worry about the rest. I would try to remember to chew your food properly which apparently aids the brain to register when you are full and to have a carafe of water at your table. I think the most important thing is to try and enjoy your day, even if you have the worst thing on the menu the damage is reversible.

medusa

Veteran

Khris, your comment about being out and about the whole day really jumped out at me. Could you bring some healthy snacks with you? I often bring some fruit (or dried fruit), nuts, and cheese with me when I know I'll be out running errands all day.

And what everyone else said is important - what happens one day is not going to make or break everything! It's your amazing long-term progress that counts.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Khris, how'd it go yesterday? I hope you're feeling ok about yourself and the day out this morning, because even if you couldn't snag the best possible option, one day won't break the bank so to speak. Hope your dad had a good birthday too.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Yep, I'm echoing Michelle here and hope you had a fabulous day.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Thanks for checking in on my Michelle.
We ended up eating at two of the restaurants that I had suggested, so I was able to get meals that I was completely happy with. (The Dragonfire Chicken from TGI Fridays- which is one of my favorite things, and the Apple Harvest Chicken Salad from Red Robin which is also really tasty). Of course, the TGI Fridays that we ate at was across the street from the shops at Knott's Berry Farm and we had to go get fudge for desert. Even that was ok, though- I was actually under on my calories for the day at that point and so I happily enjoyed a piece of fudge.
My daughter and I had similar meals, except that she has salmon instead of chicken (luckily she eats fish) . Our meals were probably half the size of everyone else's, though.
This is just an ongoing issue for me, not just this one day. I can't just let it go every time I eat out. I ate out once last week, and I gained two pounds. That can't happen on a regular basis.

elpgal

Veteran

Khris, Have you weighed yourself since the weight gain of 2 lb? To gain 2 lb, you would have to eat several thousands of surplus calories, so I wonder if it was just water retention or something. I weighed myself yesterday night and I was 3 lb plus which freaked me out. But things are back to normal today and I wonder if it will be the same for you.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I weigh myself every day, so yes I have weighed myself since, and it was not a one day fluke.

Rosie

Veteran

Khris, have you been more stressed than usual recently? I suddenly gained a few pounds literally overnight and was pretty shocked. Remember when we eat out that there is also much more sodium in the food than what we prepare at home. This could account for some of the weight, too.

Also, stress and lack of sleep can definitely cause weight gain/retention. I recently suffered a loss in my family and the stress from that has certainly affected my weight this past week. Maybe think about some of the stresses in your life right now and whether the weight gain could be related...

Anonymous

Khris, I just want to say that I empathize with your problems with eating out. With having to follow a strict low carb diet for diabetes it makes things difficult. Many places have menus and nutrition info on line that I try to check before going. I can't let it go for even one meal. Carrying some nuts or a South Beach high protein bar helps fend off hunger if necessary. Usually I bring most of a meal home, even if it is a salad (dressing on the side or just vinegar). You can't go too wrong with a salad with veggies and a little grilled chicken with dipping your fork in the dressing once in awhile for a bit of extra flavor. Wishing you luck.

12