* William Shatner voiceover *
Kirk: " Star...DATE ! 36-24-36-OH !-OH !-OHHHH ! "
" Our Chief Engineer, Mr. Scrote informs me of... an URGENT ! situation in the engine room ! "
Scrotie: " Capn'... Ah warned ye of this before ! Ensign Cox's brights are too bright an' they're interferrin' wi' the dilithium crystals an' they're aboot to go full Yorkie Reed Bull SUPERNOVA !! "
Kirk: " Scrotie... is THERE ! ...anyway THIS ! ...could be... avoided !? "
Scrotie: " Ah cannae change the laws of colour physics, Sir... AH CANNAE !! "
Ensign Cox: " OK ! OK ! I'll change to zer boring as bat poopen teal with the black coltrui uniform !! ...Sheesh !! " ( rolls her eyes, but manages to maintain a perfect glinty smile )
Scrotie: " It's our only hope, lassie ! It's our only hope ! "
Kirk: " Make IT ! so... ENSIGN ! Cox ! "
" Quickly... SCROTIE ! Open THE torpedo shute and load ENSIGN ! Cox's Christmas regalia... We HAVEN'T ! ...A SECOND ! ...TO LOSE !! "
Scrotie: " AHHH ! Muh whiskey soured eyeballs, Capn !! "
Kirk: " Oh, for the LOVE ! of all things Klingon, man... Just DO ! IT ! "
Kirk: " Happily Ensign COX'S ! ...calamity causing clothing WAS ! safely jettisoned into Halley's Comet where they would DO ! no further harm ( WE ! ...hope ) "
" These are the voyages of the Starship Oh, Myyyy-terprise... "