WIW: The daily drab - YouLookFab Forum

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WIW: The daily drab

ManidipaM

Veteran

Nothing special. Just something cobbled together from the limited choices that work in my wardrobe, between nursing and spit-ups and several extra kilos.

The fits are right for me. The proportions aren't best in this combination. The colours are... not bad. This is the kind of outfit, in fact, that says: "I'm nothing special. In fact, I'm a bit bore."

Well, I like it--no mistake about that. I'm comfy in it. It does the job for a day at home with a tiny baby. The SSB shirt is actually nicer than the matte mulberry silk ever photographs. I enjoy the self-check pattern and the slubbiness of the handloom skirt. But it looks like nothing special.

So why am I posting it? Because it is nothing special. And I'm fine with that. (Though I needed to tug that shirt straight!)

Because that and an entirely bare face represent a level of confidence and comfort in my own skin, in my choices both sartorial and otherwise that I did not have pre-YLF or pre-baby.

Which speaks to several threads that have interested me of late. The modesty experiment. What I expect fashion to do for me. And it's my shout out to Angie and Natalie---for delinking my confidence from appearance alone while making dressing up fun again and giving me confidence to go play, and for showing that every day's outfit has worth, be it never so casual. (Others are implicated in this paradigm shift too. IK, Mo, Shannon, Beth Ann, Sarah A...no, just too many to name. But thinking especially of Angie and Natalie just because it's(was) their birthday...

So tell me: did YLF do a tectonic shift on your world view too? Or at least shake up a few habits, shake loose some old hang-ups? Or did it just give you a platform to play with who you always were?

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19 replies

Latest reply was from

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Where to begin? You feel like nothing special but you look very special to me - great colors on you and together, and you have the spark and glow of an intelligent and confident woman. Quite special - can we have coffee (or tea)? I cannot even process how much YLF has changed my view of things. I honestly knew nothing about fashion before I started reading but that is the least of it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It's so wonderful to see you "whole" -- in more ways than one!

The skirt is beautiful, the shirt has a wonderful texture (I know, from your description) and it does not suck the soul from you. You look comfortable. Relaxed. Easy. Just as you should when caring for an infant.

What a wonderful birthday gift to Natalie and Angie.

It is a strange paradox, that focusing on our appearance (fashion) can bild our confidence such that we are no longer focusing on our appearance.

It is a bit like the paradox of art. To make art, you have to go deep within, and pull something out of yourself -- and it is you, you, you -- even if it is fiction, it is you. And yet...you also have to put yourself aside, get out of your own way, let go of your ego. Somehow, holding both in a delicate balance is the key.

It is like that here, too.

Thank you for this gift of yourself.

marit

You have colour, you have fit, you have comfort, you have confidence to share all of this - nursing and being at home with a baby! I can identify with this so much, and I love seeing it. Thank you.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Oh, yes, Mandipa, YLF changed my view on a lot of things, but I was internally ready to make the changes --- which is probably why I found and engaged with the forum in the first place. While I survived the early childhood phase with my two children, only 6 months apart in age (Thank God DH worked from home), I still am dealing with a body that is a bigger and older than the ideal, a limited budget, and a casual lifestyle when I'm a complete Diva on the inside.

Thanks for posting Real Life with Baby, Mandipa. I think you're doing better than you think. You're right that these fits are good -- and as a nursing mom, this is a big accomplishment. You are in a collared shirt and a SKIRT! Not yoga pants and a tee! The skirt has lovely color, and your hair is fashionable and chic.

I think formula dressing got me through the early parenting period of life. Right now, I rely on a session about every week where I play for 30-60 minutes in my closet. I usually focus on one piece of clothing and see what I can do with it. I say, stick with what works and gives you a little boost in the day, and wear it over and over again for the next few months!

Don't feel you need to have "special" clothing to be special, or even to look special. Basic items, worn well, with a warm heart and a full, if tired, smile, are far more appealing!

Anonymous

This is not drab or boring at all! You look balanced and happy, the skirt is a great colour and fit, and I think yor shirt is perfect. I lived in shirts like this when I had small babies. So much nicer than a tee shirt, and perfect to hide milk stains and barf

And your smile is the best accessory that makes this outfit.

rachylou

Veteran

We should all do drab like that. Excellent colours.

bj1111

Veteran

you have the cutest cheeks. outfit looks so easy in the heat. (self) confidence is a great thing to have.

MNsara

Veteran

Just got here from your haircut thread and I love how you're in a skirt(!) and how that's a great balance for the pixie I think those colors - light tan (NOT SSB) and teal -- are gracious and flattering with your hair!

SO much better than old sweats and tees - and most definitely not drab.

I'm enjoying your new level of confidence here!

catgirl

Veteran

If I lived in India I would so wear light colors. You look easy breezy fab.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Moni, don't be silly! You say you see nothing special. I say I see a fab new mom with dewy skin and rosy cheeks and pretty pixie and a heartwarming smile, wearing an easy breezy pretty and comfy flattering linen shirt and teal skirt combo. You even put on a bracelet! You should see what I wear at home! The minute I get home I change into pajamas. And not even nice matching ones. Tonight I'm wearing Curious George PJ bottoms and a Speedy Gonzalez Puerto Vallarta T shirt that I got 17 years ago on my last vacation with my family while my dad was still alive. How's that for nothing special! So cut yourself some slack, my dear. You are WAY too hard on yourself and I think you are awesome and very special--I always love reading your posts and seeing pics of you! Hope the little one is doing well! And thanks for your kind words about me!

ManidipaM

Veteran

Natalie, the interesting thing is 'nothing special' has also changed goalposts. And you are one of the fabulous reasons why! Two years ago, this outfit would have been pretty special---in fact, I used to save this shirt because it's silk! Oxymoron? Maybe. But I am made rather happy by the fact that my standards and confidence are now high enough that I can regard a silk shirt worn at home as 'nothing special'. Because I did not think twice about donning it!

I recall joining the community with one of my stated goals being to dress better and feel better about my everyday appearance, since I work from home. No more working in my jammies! No more hoarding the clothes that are too good for my everyday life! And I think I have achieved that, in good part during pregnancy and early motherhood.

My everyday has become both rather special and 'nothing special'!

Btw, my bangle is actually my breastfeeding mnemonic device, heh! Who'd 'a' thunk? Not me, not even last year, that's for sure!

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and thoughts, and the stories. Beth Ann, I have to single you out for a special salute! Babies just 6 months apart? (Well, I might have to PM you for coping strategies one of these days. We're planning to find our missing daughter here!)

Suz, if I could frame your art example on my wall for a reminder, I would. SO eloquently hitting the nail on the head!

Shevia, I'd love to take coffee (or tea) with you any time of day, anywhere in the world. May it be so in this lifetime!

harmonica

Veteran

What Rachy said. Your post got me smiling big time - good start for the day You are beautiful inside and out and I love the smile and confidence and thoughts about "nothing special".

Well, YLF have made me embark on Team Wear, which is ever so nice. And the rest... I don't know where to start. The community is part of my life now and I feel grateful and lucky. And more confident. I wear colours and patterns I never would dare earlier.

I'll make a "nothing special" post too

Beth Ann

Veteran

Hope your day is beginning well! I know you're not sleeping in, lol! When you say "missing daughter," I take it you're referring to adoption, not literally finding a child you lost?

My DD is from China, and the Chinese refer to girls adopted out to other countries as "The Lost Daughters of China." We feel so blessed to have her! She turns 12 next month, and stands almost 5'4" and can wear my size 9 shoes. She loves neon and flip flops, and is a budding chef, making quiche and baking bread and cake!

ManidipaM

Veteran

Beth Ann, yes, I meant an adoption. I am rather hoping there is a little girl out there waiting to be part of our family. We were just waiting for this one to get started.

I can understand China's sorrow/regret but believe every child deserves a family and national borders cannot be allowed to stand in the way of that!

And I was reading about your Maia in Suz's thread! Such joys! She sounds like a fun young lady to know.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I'll be hoping and praying that the little girl meant for your family finds her forever home quickly! Having had one biological and one adopted child, I believe that love makes families, not DNA. With Eric (whom we dubbed, belly baby), it was like falling in the love with the boy next door --- as if we were growing up together! Maia (China baby), was more like love at first sight, when you're completely smitten, but you have no idea what his favorite color is, or the story behind the scar on his chin.

Best wishes to you! Hope baby takes a l-o-n-g nap today!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

It's wonderful to see you, Manidipa! I always, always enjoy your comments, and I especially appreciate the thoughts you've shared here. Wonderful sentiments and reminders. . . .
Yes, indeed, YLF shakes up my world a little bit each day, in a good way!

lyn67

Veteran

I say you are the prettiest Mom out there, Mani! Love your skrt outfit, the colour is special, so not"bore" at all!!! Your pixie and beautiful warm complexion? Now, that wins all, no matter what you throw on! and my heart is warming up when think about your son and that baby girl out there which will be part of your family, soon!

I by myself always was a creative person and loved clothes and dressing as a a younger girl. But then it was the work, the age and some weight put on which've stolen my joy for fashion...so my days were drab and bored in that segment. Than discovered YLF and MYSELF again. Now I feel fabulous from my inside out, almost every day. And smile a lot just looking down on me...can you imagine?

Hugs!:-))

Lantana

Veteran

Manidipa, your reflections resonate wih me. Like you, yesterday's "dress up" has become today's "mufti". That's a huge shift and I feel so much better for it.
And yes, YLF has shaken a few habits. The habit of making do with second best, the habit of impulse buying, the habit of choosing certain colours, the habit of hanging on to wardrobe orphans.
At some stage I lost my way in the maze of fashion. I was terrifically confused and I made some poor choices. Today I am focussed and I am developing clarity.
Echoing Suz' wise words, I am finding that focussing on my appearance has diminished the weight of that issue in my life.
Thankyou for posting. I think you look beautiful in your silk and homespun.

Anonymous

Moni, how I've missed your deep thinking! First of all, I love your MOTS (Mom on the slow--your staying at home) outfit. Is the skirt a woven fabrication too? I love it's color! I love that you're wearing dress clothes just for yourself and your little one. I love that there are dress clothes that feel good and allow nursing. The slightly rumpled silk blouse speaks volumes that you're not afraid to wear it and not saving it for...who knows what?

Since I'm a bit housebound for a week or so I'm searching for a paradigm shift. I have never felt 'done' or fully me without properly styling my hair and applying make-up. I'm doing a little experiment where I'm letting my hair dry by itself without any styling or manipulation from me, and going with a bare face. It's very strange, because my first reaction is "ugly", yet I know that's not true. I'm hoping to learn how to work with my hair's natural wave and still feel like myself. Right now I look in the mirror and see a surfer dude staring back at me, since my hair is at that medium length that a guy might wear and the fact that it's not styled at all (just coming from the ocean) is coming across as very masculine to me. Yet I know someone else might look at me and see something entirely different; I'm hoping I can have a change in perception.

This is not to say that I'll never use a hair dryer or straightener again, but this is a hang-up I've had all of my life and it would be nice to be rid of it. I guess I'm searching for the confidence you have in yourself, in the stripped down version of me as well. Then everything else will be gravy as they say (nice, but not necessary). It sounds like you're adjust well to the rhythms of motherhood. Thanks so much for posting!