Suz, I am jumping in late here. Both your dress and your jacket are absolutely fab and perfect! I love the way you wear it in #5 with the sleeves turned up. Bravo on the dress transformation. It is simply stunning.
As for the both together, I have to say I am on the team hesitant. They do not look bad together, but knowing your petite figure, I think you would be even more stunning with this dress length and a more fitted, cropped jacket. the distance between the jacket's edge and dress hem would be greater and make appear your legs longer (and BTW your legs look fabulous like this but I know longer leg is a style you like, so this is why I mention it).
The dress on its own is very elegant and balanced because in great part from how fitted and delicate it is on top, with a high waist (pic #1). If you cover that part (pic #2) the jacket has to be fitted and waist defining, which it actually is, however the jacket's waist seem just a bit lower than the dress's (pic #3). In pic #2, your waist appears lower than in pic #1: maybe that is what bothers you?
This jacket is despite its black color is very feminine, with its fun flower like collar and to my point of view shines best when surrounded by ''strict'' or 'masculine' classics like you have done so wonderfully in pics #5-6.
This is my humble and maybe totally out-there analysis...
I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about color. I wonder if our skin color changes with age, I know in my case it has (darkened). I was always extremely pale but after 40 I have become more... yellow, shall I say. I am not yellow per say, but there is more of the yellow (or golden) undertone and therefore clothes and makeup respond to it differently.
Have you ever tried a different hair color, for fun? (Not that the present one isn't exquisite). But something with auburn and brown or very pale angel blond ?